Deadbeat Dads (10 page)

From
what I gathered, Crystal wasn’t especially attractive either. Maybe she had money. Although Lou wasn’t hurting in the financial department. I hoped Stella’s lawyer made sure Lou provided well for Stella and the kids.

Emma was another story. She had no idea who her husband left with – if anyone.
“He just up and left. No word, nothing. I haven’t heard from him since,” Emma said. “Left me enough to pay one month’s worth of bills, I had to get a job. We had a savings, and he didn’t take any of the money. He even left his credit cards in his dresser drawer. ” A sob escaped, and she took a few minutes to compose herself. “Joe always came straight home from work, never took any trips. I had no idea he was discontent. Always acted loving and attentive. Just last week, he sent me flowers. He just disappeared.”

That didn’t even make sense. A man doesn’t send his wife flowers one week and leave her the next. I wondered if he was in trouble or something. Of course he could have had a relationship within his office. He wouldn’t be the first. Maybe
the other woman was married or something else prevented them from seeing each other outside of work. Emma and Joe hadn’t been married long, less than five years and had a toddler.

“He idolized Joey,” Emma said. “I can’t believe he hasn’t contacted me or asked to see him. He’s
been gone six months and even his mother doesn’t know where he is. Of course, she blames me. Said if I’d been a better wife, Joe wouldn’t have left. Truth be known, it was probably her fault. She came over every day. Insisted on bringing dinner, didn’t think I could cook good enough. Half the time she cleaned my house, even after I spent the day cleaning. Nothing I did was ever good enough. She even took our laundry if I didn’t hide it.” Emma let out a small chuckle. “Said Joe liked his shirts just so and hung on hangers with all the buttons facing the same way. Like I didn’t know that. I even called the police when Joe didn’t come home I thought something happened. After a few weeks, they wrote it off as he left me.”

It still amazed me so many husbands up and left without a care in the world for their families. I kn
ew it wasn’t the norm, but it still flabbergasted me. Men with enough money to take care of several families, with successful businesses who didn’t take their responsibility seriously. These weren’t lazy, do nothing men. I just didn’t get it.

I wanted to talk more with Emma, but there wasn’t time. I went home and turned on the computer and typed in Joseph Anderson. As I expected, the name wasn’t in short supply. Not knowing anything about Emma or Joe, I didn’t know where to look
further. Something nagged me about her situation. Men just didn’t leave out of the clear blue sky. Especially not without a reason. I know they say women are the last to know. My thought is women are the first to know but the last to admit it. The signs are all there and after the fact, they remember them. The late hours, frequent business trips, the loss of interest in home life, especially sex, and their sudden short temper. Oh yeah, the signs are there. Women just tend to ignore them or make excuses. 

Sighing, I turned off the computer. It had been a rough week and listening to Becky all week hadn’t helped. Not that I objected to her happiness. Heck, I almost envied her. What I’d give to have a man to discuss things with. But every other word out of her mouth was Matt.

No more had I shut down the computer and the phone rang. My heart turned a quick somersault at the name displayed on caller ID.  Carr.

“Hello,” I barely got out. Why did this man tongue tie me? I’d never been an exceptionally shy person. Not even around men.

“Hi, you busy?”

“Not really. Just getting ready to call it a night.”

“Oh, sorry. I won’t keep you long.  Just wondered if you’d like to get a drink or cup of coffee with me tomorrow night?”

Did I? Maybe I paused a little too long because he said, “There’s something I’d like to talk to you about. About Randy.”

“I’ll have to see if I can arrange a sitter. I’ll have to let you know tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I heard the rejection in his voice and a tremor of guilt ran through me. What was wrong with me? He was just trying to be nice. He needed a friend. Heck, I needed a friend. A male friend. It would be nice getting a male’s perspective on things again. It had been a long time since I had a male to share ideas with. Too long.

“I’m pretty sure the girl next door will be available. But it’s too late to call her now. I’ll let you know first thing in the morning. Give me your number.” Not that I needed it. It was on caller id. But it was something else to say.

“If you’re inclined, I’d like to take you to dinner.”

If I was inclined. Right now just having coffee scared me. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. Not sure I’d ever be. “Let’s just stick with coffee. I’ll call you.”

I hung up before he had a chance to reply. My heart beat a little too fast and butterflies flitted in my stomach. What was wrong with me? Carr was just another man like any other. Okay, so his wife ran out on him. So he was the flipside of my situation. He understood my circumstances, or so he claimed. I didn’t know anything about him. Or his wife. Maybe she was justified in leaving.

That wasn’t fair. Women might have all the justification in the world, but they didn’t leave their kids. No, she was no better than Johnny. Found someone else and blew off all responsibility. Hard for me to fathom any woman doing that, but apparently all women weren’t maternal.

I turned off the lights and went to bed.

***

As usual, I was running late. Happened too often lately. Jack cornered me just before I left. For a minute, I was afraid he was going to send me on another trip. While I enjoyed the work and loved to travel, I didn’t feel right leaving the kids. Fortunately, he just wanted to touch base on our newest client.

Add a horrendous traffic jam and I flew into the house only fifteen minutes before it was time to leave. Cheryl was already there. “Sorry I’m late, guys. Traffic was atrocious.”

“Are you going out again tonight, Mom?” Katie pouted. Katie never pouted. She crossed her arms and stamped a foot. Something else Katie never did. Okay, I knew my working had an effect on them. I just didn’t realize how much. It wasn’t like I went out every night. Heck, not even every weekend. Other than the Deadbeat Dads group, I seldom went out at all.

“Yes, I’m going out. Business. I won’t be late.” I bent down and kissed Katie’s cheek. “I’ll probably be home before you go to bed.”

“But you went out yesterday.”

I took leftover spaghetti out of the refrigerator and put it in the microwave. “Yes, I went out yesterday. But I’ve been home every night for a month before that.” I didn’t have time for this now. I needed to freshen up and change into something more casual. My business suit was great for work, but not a casual date. Was this a date?

“You don’t mind feeding them, do you, Cheryl?”

“Not at all, Mrs. Morris. You go ahead.” 

Already, she grabbed two plates from the cupboard and opened the silverware drawer. I could have kissed her. A quick look at Katie caused a momentary pang of guilt. She’d get over it. In fact, she liked Cheryl. By time I got home, she’d have her hair in a French braid and her nails done. Josh hadn’t even come into say hello. I hurried to my room, stopping at his bedroom doorway long enough to look at my son seated in front of the desk.

“What are you working on?”

“Math.” He didn’t even look up.

“Homework?”

“Extra credit.”

No time for
that conversation now. Not that we hadn’t had it often enough. Seemed like the more I talked, the more work he did. Maybe it was better to just leave him alone like my dad said. Let him handle his grief his own way. He wasn’t as bad since my last trip. At least he contributed to the conversation more often. He even thought about playing soccer with Larry and Sam. I’d gladly pay the fee, but so far he hadn’t committed.

I slipped off my suit and grabbed a pair of jeans. Good enough for the Coffee Cup.
After running a comb through my hair and freshening up my lipstick, I was ready.

“Okay, guys
don’t give Cheryl any trouble. I won’t be gone long.” I kissed Josh and Katie and looked at Cheryl who already had the spaghetti on the table. “I really do appreciate this.”

“No problem, Mrs. Morris. I enjoy it.”

I hurried out to my car. Why was I rushing like a crazy fool? A simple phone call telling Carr I’d be late would explain everything. I took a breath, got into my car, grabbed my cell phone and made the call.

“I wondered if you got stuck in that traffic jam. I saw it on the news.”

“It was horrible. I couldn’t even get off at another exit.”

“
No problem, I’ll see you when you get here.”

I hung up, started the car and smiled. “Simple, peasy, nice and easy.” I giggled at the saying Katie used to say. Hadn’t heard that one in a long time. I wondered what Carr wanted to talk about. Had Randy gotten into some other trouble? I wasn’t a child psychologist. I couldn’t give advice. Heck, I had enough problems with my own kids.
Between Josh and his school work and Katie being so clingy lately, I had more than enough to handle.

I was willing to listen, but I was short on advice. He needed a professional for that. I’d get one myself if I could afford it. Too bad the school didn’t offer a psychologist anymore. I didn’t even have time to read some of the books about children and divorce, let alone children and death. My kids got a double whammy.
They hadn’t even adjusted to the divorce when Johnny died. Hadn’t gotten used to the fact their father didn’t want to see them. Nope, I couldn’t offer Carr much help in that department.

And for some ungodly reason, Joe Anderson still nagged at my mind. What I expected to do about it, I had no idea. I’d try to talk to Emma at the next meeting, see if I could glean some infor
mation about him. What he liked weather wise, his habits, hobbies, anything that might help me to find him. If he ever mentioned living in a particular area. What I hoped to gain, I didn’t know. Why I cared, I couldn’t venture a guess. What made me think I could find him, if no one else could? Something about it just bothered me.

I pulled into the parking lot at the Coffee Cup
. Carr stood outside. Waiting for me? Can’t recall the last time that happened. My heart flipped at the sight of him. God, he was handsome. Yes, handsome, beyond good-looking. Just the way he stood there, his leg propped on a bench, elbow on his knee, chin resting on his hand. Casual, laid back, like he had all the time in the world. Yet, so damn sexy.

“Hi.” He
straightened and walked toward me.

His smile stirred something inside me down to my toes. This man had the power to seduce me with just a look. What would happen if he touched me? I didn’t have long to find out. He put his hand on my back and flares erupted inside. Damn, I’d been without a man too long.

We went inside and the hostess seated us. Disappointment spread through me when he removed his hand and sat down opposite me. Disappointment and relief. I couldn’t remember ever reacting to a man that way before.

“So, what did you want to talk about? Randy’s not in trouble
, is he?” Short and to the point. I needed to clear my head. Think about something else.

Carr laughed. “No hello, how are you? No chit chat?”

“Sorry, how are you?” Chitchat was fine as long as it got my mind off his touch.

“I’m fine. How are you?” He reached his hand across the table and
took mine.

Okay, this wasn’t working. I couldn’t think if he was touching me. Well, I could, but the thoughts weren’t about the conversation. Not that we were having much of one at this point. Idle chit chat. I slid my hand away, trying to calm whatever
bounced around in my stomach. Everything on me trembled. My chest tightened, and I found it difficult to breathe.

“Hey, are you okay?” He reached his hand out again.

I pulled mine away and put it in my lap, took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I…I need some fresh air.” I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn’t move. My head spun and for a minute I thought I was going to pass out. I became hot then cold.

Carr came around the table, helped me stand, picked me up in one quick swoop
, and carried me outside. Being in his arms didn’t help. Yet it did. Once outside, he set me down on a bench, sat next to me and held me. “Feel better?”

Suddenly, I did. Being next to him, in his arms, gave me a feeling of contentment I’d never experienced before. His calmness radiated through me, energized me. I could have sat there forever. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave the security of his arms. Something flowed through me. The feeling everything was going to be okay. For the first time in my adult life, someone could handle something besides me. Johnny never made me feel that way. No matter how bad things were, no matter what the crisis, he never held me, never told me it was going to be okay.
Never offered a shoulder to cry on.

Johnny hated tears. Walked away when I cried. I learned early on to hold them back. He n
ever shared this kind of affection with me, either. The only affection I got was during sex. I was always the strong one. Always the one who said it was going to be okay, that we’d get through it. Just having someone take over, the way Carr did just now, amazed me. Johnny would have panicked, jumped up and called for help. I finally sat up. Much as I’d like to, I couldn’t sit like this all evening.