Daughters of Castle Deverill (35 page)

When at last the baby girl arrived in the spring of the following year the house was once again filled with flowers and gifts. Grandma Wallace, aware that Martha might be put out by all the
attention her new sister was getting, brought Martha an exquisite doll’s house that was the finest thing she had ever been given. It had a sweeping staircase, a grand entrance hall and nine
rooms, all decorated with pretty floral wallpapers. Her mother gave her the miniature pieces of furniture, cutlery and crockery and she told Martha that the family of dolls that were to live there
was a gift from the baby, who was keen to be a good friend to her sister. Martha believed her and was sure that when she was older she would make a very good friend indeed.

The baby was christened Edith and no expense was spared for this child who was so very precious to her mother. Only Pam’s parents and Larry’s family knew why she put the crib by her
bed and lay on her side for hours, staring into her daughter’s face. She could see Larry in Edith’s features, her father about the eyes and something of her mother in the feminine pout
of her lips. When Larry’s family came to visit she relished pointing out the similarities to them. Especially to Joan, who bristled like a threatened cat and grudgingly handed over the gift
she had bought. ‘She looks just like Larry,’ she said, peering into the crib. ‘I don’t see you in there at all.’

‘Neither do I,’ said Pam, who didn’t need to see herself in her child for she knew very well who had birthed her.

‘The irony is that Martha looks more like
you
. This child is going to be fair-haired like Larry.’

‘She’s a Tobin, Joan, as much as she’s a Wallace.’

Joan sniffed and sat down. ‘Does it feel different?’

‘Does
what
feel different?’

‘Having a child who is biologically yours. Do you love her more?’

Pam was affronted. ‘That’s a horrible thing to say, Joan.’

‘Don’t be oversensitive. It’s natural to love your own child more than an adopted one, don’t you think?’

‘No, I
don’t
think. I love Martha as much as I love Edith. It makes no difference.’ Joan pulled a face that suggested she didn’t believe her. ‘You may
think what you like, Joan. Perhaps
you
would love your biological child more than your adopted one were you in my position, but I’m not you. Edith has been given to me; I searched
the world for Martha.’

‘That’s a little exaggerated, even for you, Pam.’

‘I longed for Martha and God led me to Ireland. She was meant to belong to me from the moment she came into the world. I could not love her more.’

Joan put up her hands. ‘All right, don’t get so upset. I was only asking. Really, Pam, you’re so sensitive.’

‘I’m not sensitive. Anyone would be offended by what you’re implying.’

‘Trust me, it’s what everyone will be thinking. Only I have the courage to say it.’

‘Or the lack of tact,’ Pam snapped. She watched Joan light a cigarette and lean back in her chair, crossing her legs. She was wearing a stunning crimson dress that clashed with her
hair. Pam wondered how she could find out where she had bought it and whether they’d have another one for
her
.

Mrs Goodwin did not doubt that Mrs Wallace loved her two daughters equally, but right from the very beginning Edith was indulged in a way that Martha had never been. It
wasn’t that Edith was more spoiled – both girls had never been denied anything on a material level – it was the way her parents responded to her behaviour that was different.
While Martha had always had to be mindful of her manners, aware that her every move was scrutinized by a mother so desperate for her daughter to impress and fit in, Edith could behave as she wanted
and only Mrs Goodwin ever pulled her up when she misbehaved. Things for which Martha would have been severely chastised Edith could do with impunity. Nothing she did was ever ‘wrong’ in
her parents’ eyes. She could holler and stamp her little foot, sulk, suck her thumb, spill her food, interrupt and make demands and her parents would laugh, wink at each other and make
comments that they had never made about Martha:
She’s so like Ma
, they would say. Or,
She’s inherited her stubbornness from Grumps.
Mrs Goodwin noticed, for the
difference was stark and it saddened her, for while Martha might be too young to
see
it, she was certainly not too young to
feel
it; small children are quick to sense injustice
and know things without ever being told. As little Edith grew from a toddler to a child she was fast becoming insufferable, but her parents seemed not to notice, or chose not to care. She was their
flesh and blood and their wonder at the miracle of her conception blinded them to the fact that she was growing up to be a very unpleasant child indeed.

Mrs Goodwin tried hard to redress the balance when Mrs Wallace was not at home. Every time Edith, now nearly three years old, took something of Martha’s, she made her give it back. She was
told to sit up straight, to eat with her mouth closed, not to answer back, interrupt or be rude. When she refused to share she was told she would be punished if she didn’t. But Mrs
Goodwin’s punishments were never severe. She’d make Edith sit on a chair in the corner or send her to her room. However, nothing seemed to correct the child’s behaviour because
she believed herself above the laws that governed her nanny’s domain. She knew she could get away with anything when her mother was around – and she was right. Mrs Goodwin tried to keep
the girls in the nursery, but Edith would escape and run through the house in search of her mama, howling her eyes out and screaming at the top of her lungs. Pam would blanch, gather her daughter
into her arms and soothe her with promises and bribes and, every time she did so, Edith’s belief in her pre-eminence grew a little stronger. Mrs Goodwin felt a sense of helplessness. There
was no doubt in the nanny’s mind whom
she
loved the most.

If Martha noticed that her sister was treated differently, she made no comment. Now she was no longer on her own she wanted very badly to find a friend in her sibling. She relished having the
company of another child. Since she was six years older she took pleasure in teaching Edith how to draw and paint and play the piano and violin. She taught her about flowers, butterflies and birds
and never tired of playing games. As Edith grew she became more difficult but Martha was patient and always let her choose which character she wanted to enact and which game she wanted to play. Mrs
Goodwin tried to encourage Martha to be firm with her, not to allow her to always take the lead, but Martha was too gentle and kind and Edith’s forceful character triumphed every time.

Then one afternoon at their grandmother’s house, Diana Wallace took Pam aside. ‘My darling, don’t you think Edith is becoming a little out of control?’

Pam was immediately affronted. Criticizing Edith was akin to criticizing
her.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she replied.

‘Martha is so beautifully mannered and well-behaved, but Edith is . . .’ She hesitated. ‘Well, to be quite frank, she’s wild.’ Pam didn’t know
what to say. In her eyes Edith was perfect. ‘Darling, I’m not blaming you. I’m simply suggesting that perhaps Mrs Goodwin is not doing her job properly. If you don’t enforce
discipline when she’s young, you’ll create a monstrous adult. I fear Edith is growing up without boundaries. Bad manners are very unattractive.’

Pam was hurt. ‘She’s got character, that’s all,’ she protested.

‘Too much character, Pam,’ Diana replied sternly. ‘If she can’t learn to behave you will have to leave her at home. Children who don’t mind their manners should not
be exposed to polite society.’

Now she had Pam’s attention. Having been so proud of her angelic-looking child, who was a true Tobin-Wallace, Pam worried that she wasn’t fit to be seen. She was pretty, of that
there was no dispute. Her heart-shaped face and cornflower-blue eyes were certainly engaging and her fair hair was long and silky like the mane of a unicorn. Her skin was as white as milk and as
smooth as satin and her smile, on the rare occasions that she gave one, was enchanting. But Pam was astute enough to know that if her manners were distasteful she might as well be ugly on the
outside as well.

‘I will discipline her,’ she told her mother-in-law resolutely. ‘She’s young and she’s smart. She’ll learn quickly.’

‘Perhaps you need a tougher nanny,’ Diana Wallace suggested. ‘Mrs Goodwin is getting on, after all.’ But Pam had no intention of putting her precious child in the hands
of someone she didn’t know – and Mrs Goodwin, who had come to America with them from London, was quite strict enough.

But in spite of Pam’s intentions Edith still managed to have her way in everything. Having told Mrs Goodwin to be firm, Pam then berated her for being
too
firm. Edith, although
small, was an arch manipulator. She knew how to win over her mother. She was well aware of the effect her tears had and if she pushed out her bottom lip at the same time it was even more dramatic.
Her mother couldn’t bear her sorrow, not for a minute. As for her father, he came home late, sometimes too late to put her to bed. But on weekends she would curl up on his lap and there she
was safe from Mrs Goodwin’s discipline and her grandmother’s disapproving stare, because he loved her just the way she was.

Edith grew jealous of her sister’s place in Grandma’s heart. Diana Wallace made no secret of the fact that Martha was special to her. Joan and Dorothy could push their children
forward as much as they liked, but when Diana settled her gaze on Martha it was apparent for all to see that she reserved her most tender looks for
her.
Edith was not used to being
marginalized – she very much felt at the centre of her parents’ affection – and, as a consequence, her behaviour around her grandmother only deteriorated further. Martha had every
reason to be jealous of Edith but envy was not in her nature, and, in spite of their differences, Martha made every concession to be her friend.

Instead of admiring her older sister as younger siblings do, Edith was jealous of Martha. Her mother had conditioned her to believe that she was special and this only served to encourage her to
resent any attention that Martha was given, from their grandmother or otherwise. Edith was only a child and her small acts of sabotage and rebellion were as ripples on the water by the feet of a
gnat, but as she grew older her feet would grow bigger and the ripples would turn to great splashes of destruction.

Adeline was no longer in Martha’s awareness. The child had shut her out and by the force of her will Adeline’s image had receded and her voice grown distant until
she was only a sensation, like a gust of wind or a ray of sunshine, which Martha chose not to feel. Yet, Adeline did not desert her; Martha was a Deverill. The blood of her kin and the waters of
Ireland ran in her veins. Deep in the heart of her heart Martha knew who she was. She knew where she came from. Only she had forgotten. One day, Adeline was certain, the mists of oblivion would
lift and she would reconcile the longings in her soul with the land she had lost. Ireland would call to her and she would return home.

In the meantime her grandmother watched her with a keen and concerned eye. Martha loved nature, just as Adeline did, and as much as she attempted to interest her sister in the flora and fauna in
the garden Edith had no sensibility for beauty. Her father bought his daughters ponies but Edith was frightened to mount. She screamed and she wriggled and she refused to be put in the saddle. But
Martha found a part of herself she had left behind on the hills of Ballinakelly and felt at home with her feet in the stirrups and her hands on the reins and the feeling of the wind raking its
fingers through her hair. She had no idea that her biological father had been one of the finest huntsmen in Co. Cork but Adeline did, and she smiled with pride as this child exhibited the Deverill
spirit that was hidden in her core. Pam feared she would fall off, but Martha had never felt as safe as she did in the saddle and everyone marvelled at her courage and her daring and at the speed
with which she learned to master her pony.

On the outside Martha was a product of her adoptive mother. Like Pam she was dressed with polish and like Pam her movements were self-conscious and deliberate. Too much grooming had robbed her
of any spontaneity and vivaciousness. She was studied, polite, gracious and always a little apprehensive. Caution was not a Deverill trait – perhaps it was a Doyle characteristic, but Adeline
did not remember Bridie Doyle. However, when Martha was among nature, the magic in the trees and flowers, the twittering of birds and the buzzing of bees released something within her. She felt
joy, unrestrained and profound, and Adeline knew that where Edith would only ever be aware of the superficial veneer of things, Martha was aware of the deeper mysteries inherent in the natural
wonders of the world. That she had inherited from her.

‘Martha, come inside,’ Mrs Goodwin shouted from the window. ‘It’s time for your bath.’ Martha, who was lying on the lawn, reading a book of
poetry, sighed regretfully. ‘Can’t I stay out for a little longer?’ she asked. ‘Please.’ Mrs Goodwin smiled indulgently. She looked at her watch. ‘Very well
then,’ she replied. ‘But you must come in fifteen minutes.’

‘I promise.’ Martha rolled onto her back and gazed up at the sky. The sun was setting behind the trees and she could see it blazing like a golden ball melting into the earth. Above,
the clouds were pink feathers drifting slowly on a sea of blue. She crossed her feet and put her hands behind her head and watched the pink turn to a dusty shade of indigo. The air was warm, midges
hovered in clouds of grey, roosting birds sung noisily from the branches and the breeze brought with it the faint but distinct smell of the ocean. She frowned at the image that passed fleetingly
through her mind, so quickly she almost missed it. She saw a coastline with high cliffs and rocks and great waves crashing against the shore. She didn’t know where it had come from but it was
as if a memory had been unleashed within her. Before she could dwell on it a moment longer it had dissolved, like foam, and above her the twinkling of the first star shone brightly. Reluctantly she
pushed herself up and wandered inside.