Darkness Betrayed (Torn) (19 page)

Chapter 28

Lying in bed, we faced each other as I memorized every angle, every line, every little thing about his face. Despite it all, the devil was my home. With him I knew I could do anything, conquer any fear, handle anything that was laid before me. With him, I was complete. A perfect blend of light and dark, hope and despair.

“Samantha,” he breathed. “There is something I have to tell you.”

I placed my finger over his lips like I did with Ethan. I didn’t want to talk; I didn’t want to explore my feelings. I just wanted to sleep. Dreamlessly. For the first time in a long time. “Tomorrow. Tell me tomorrow. Tonight I just want this. For the first time in a long time, I am truly happy. Whatever it is, can wait until then.”

“But…”

Before he could finish his sentence, I kissed him. Lost in his touch, I let myself go.

***

Damien’s absence roused me from sleep. Reaching for my sweatshirt, I shrugged it over my head and opened my bedroom door. I could hear light snores coming from Lucas’ room. Smiling to myself, I wondered if he was finally experiencing the peaceful rest I had before I was awakened.

Careful not to make any noise, I stepped down the stairs. Navigating in the dark wasn’t as unpleasant as it once was. Though the balance that finally tempered my being felt off kilter, I shook it off as par for the course. Considering I’d been so uneven, it felt only natural to tip the scales a bit. It wasn’t until I reached the bottom landing that I finally found the reason I felt askew.

“Damien?” The scales nudged a hair toward darkness.

His shirt tightened as the muscles in his back contracted and he froze a moment before turning to me. “What are you doing awake? You should be sleeping.”

“What are you doing?”
Tip, tip, tip.
White noise filled the space as I felt a shift shudder through me.

“You really should go back to bed.”
Tip, tip, tip.

“I’m fine. Where are you going?” I knew I hadn’t imagined his hand on the doorknob.

His eyes flicked behind me before he answered. “Nowhere.”

“What’s outside?”

“Nothing. Look, it’s late. You really should go.”

I pushed his hand away as he reached to guide me back to bed. “Damien. Stop.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, his face gave away nothing. “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? I don’t understand.”

“I have to go back. I can’t stay here.”

Shaking my head to free it from
his words, I felt lost. “I thought you were staying.”

“You
must’ve known that I can’t. We…” He waved his hands between us. “Aren’t going to be together. It would never work. You would’ve done better to choose Ethan.”

“Ethan? No, no. You told me yourself there was no way he and I could ever be. And besides, after all we’ve been through, how could you just walk away?”

“I have to. I told you what I knew you would believe. Don’t make me say something I will regret. Just look at the time we spent together as just that, time. Wasting time until we had to move on.”

The temporary sutures sewn into my heart when I killed Sebastian began to tear away. “You lied to me?” The scales dipped dangerously into dark territory.

“Did you expect anything more from me? I told you, I am incapable of doing anything other than what I was made to do. I couldn’t choose to stay here even if I wanted to. It’s not how I was built.”

Panic tore at my heart as I grabbed his hand. “So that’s it? Now you just go and leave?”

He pulled his hand away. Resignation crossed his face along with what I would have liked to interpret as sorrow. “I have to, Samantha. You’ve known, at least some part of you has always known. I can’t stay. We’re of two different worlds and now, with Sebastian gone, you can finally have some peace.”

“No. You never said you’d leave. You never said you go. As a matter of fact, weren’t you the one talking about being together after all this mess was over? And now, here you are, sneaking out the back door without so much as a goodbye?” I couldn’t help repeating myself, hoping for different responses, results— I wasn’t sure.

He wasn’t able to look at me. “I’m not sneaking and this is the front door.”

His lame attempt at sarcasm sent me over the edge. “Oh really? You leave me alone in the middle of the night, pack up your shit and start walking out the door? If that isn’t sneaking then I don’t know what is.” My knuckles paled under the grip I had on his arm.

“I wanted to say goodbye, but I thought it might be easier under the circumstances.” He calmly pried my hands away from him.

My muscles tightened and my stomach knotted. “What circumstances? We’re going to figure it out, right?”
             

Ethan stepped into my view. I looked from Damien to Ethan. Neither was giving anything away. Panic had me wondering just how much of my pleading he heard. My attempt at nonchalance failed epically. “What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep?”

“I was.” He shifted from side to side, his discomfort obvious.

“Just getting a snack?” As I said it, I realized he was fully dressed.

He didn’t look at me, just shook his head.

“So you came down here to say goodbye to him? I don’t get it. You hate him.”

“That’s true, but I don’t have a choice.”

“You don’t have a what?” He had my full attention at that moment. Alarm bells. Tipping scales. Darkness. So much darkness. Drowning. I put my hands to my head to stop the cacophony pinging inside my brain.

“I have to go with him.”

I reached back for the couch. “I don’t understand. Why do you have to go with him?”

“Sam, it’s complicated.”

“Complicat
ed? Make it uncomplicated.” My knees threatened to buckle. I gripped the sofa back until I swore I would crush it in my grasp. I looked from Ethan to Damien in desperation, trying to figure out what was going on.

“I did this for you.”

I froze. Without taking my eyes off of Ethan, I asked, “For me? Damien, what is he talking about?”

Damien stepped forward. He reached to touch my face but I slapped his hand away. Eyes flashing red, he stood before me. I looked over his shoulder to Ethan who
stood, hands in his pockets, staring at the ground.

“Ethan! Look at me!”

He continued to stare at the floor. I saw him shiver before his body tensed. “Look. At. Me. Look at me!” I screamed until I was sure the dead would respond. He slowly lifted his head until his eyes locked on mine and I knew.

Hand flying to my mouth, I was barely able to speak. “What did you do?”

“Nothing that didn’t need to be done.”

“Sam?” Lucas came down the stairs disheveled from sleep, or lack thereof, but obviously alarmed.

“Ethan says he has to leave with Damien.”

“Huh? What do you mean
leave
?” Rubbing his hands over his face, he was just as confused as I was.

Ethan’s voice was barbed wire. “Sorry, brother. I have to go. It’s been fun having you back and all. We’ll catch up another time.”

“Wait. Dude, wait. Where are you going?”

“With Damien.”

“No! I know we’ve been through so much. I’ve hurt you. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that. Just stay and give me a chance to be your friend again. Please, Ethan.”

Damien dropped his shoulders and sighed. “This isn’t how I wanted this to go. I don’t want to hurt you
, Samantha. It’s in my nature to hurt and at this moment, more than ever, I wish that weren’t true.”

“What are you talking ab—“

Lucas grabbed my hand and pulled me back toward him a little. “Ethan, please just tell us what’s going on here. Then we can go and leave all this behind.”

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can.” Lucas sounded just as confused as I felt. “We’ll just talk about it.”

Damien cleared his throat. “He and I made a deal.”

“Damien!” Ethan clearly wasn’t happy about the admission.

“No. They deserve to know. She deserves to know. No matter what she thinks of me in the end, she needs to know this. At least you’ll be in her favor.”

Ethan pleaded. “She made her choice.”

“What choice did I make?” He wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t answer my question.

“I know. But they,
she
, deserves an explanation. I can do this. I can take the pain that she feels when she thinks of you away. I can erase it. At least she’ll know you didn’t abandon her of your own accord.”

“I’m right here. Stop talking about me like I’m not standing in the same goddamned room. What fucking choice could I have possibly made to make this happen? How did I make it so Ethan has to leave?”

Ethan walked over to the couch. Falling into it, he dropped his head to his hands. Damien stood behind him as if he were guarding him from something. Lucas tightened his grip on my shoulders. Once again, darkness threatened to choke me. If it weren’t for Lucas, I would have crumbled. I hated that I felt the need to lean on him. He, of all people, betrayed me beyond forgiveness. And I hated that I felt that someone was going to cut me deeper.

“When you defeated Sebastian the first time—“

“I didn’t defeat him. He came back, remember?”

“Samantha.
” Damien sighed. “Would you, for once, let me finish? You are incorrigible. Really.”

As my hands knotted the bottom
of my t-shirt I answered softly. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” As he breathed his relief, I watched as Ethan shrank back into the shadows and Damien squared his shoulders. In that instant, all emotion left his body and his tone became matter of fact. Like he was making a business deal instead of having a conversation with someone he had once proclaimed to love. “As I was saying, after that incident, Ethan sought me out. He was worried about you and, at that point, didn’t know where to turn.

“You were hard to control. The others were wary of you. The darkness inside you kept growing. He said he would do anything to help you, anything to save you.”

My hand flew to my mouth. “No.” I barely heard the syl
lable as it hung in the air. Damien watched me intently, waiting for me to fall.

“So he and I struck a deal. I would help him help you.”

“At what cost?” Lucas allowed his anger and disbelief to mingle. His grip on my shoulder became painful, but I was too dumbstruck to move away.

“His soul.”

Chapter 29

“What does that mean?” Lucas grabbed me around my waist as I lunged at Damien.

“It means he and I made a deal. An agreement, if you will. I would help you gain control, defeat Sebastian and in return, he would join me. He would become my right hand, an advisor of sorts.”

“Join you? Work for you?”

“Work
for
me, work
with
me. It’s all semantics, really.”

“How can you stand
there. You lied to me. You promised me—“

“What did I promise you, Samantha? What lies did I tell?”

“You told me we could be together. You told me we would work it out. You made me love you.”

“I never lied, Samantha. We were together. Many times.” Damien’s words caused Ethan to wince. “And I never
made
you love me. That was your choice. Remember? You have choices. You chose me and because of that, he comes with me.”

“What do you mean ‘because of that’?” Lucas seemed to understand as much as I did.

“Well the pact had a catch. The only caveat was that you had to choose me over him in order for the deal to seal as they say. And you did. So, like I said, he comes with me.”

“You dirty son of a bitch! You made me choose you!”

“I will not say this again, Samantha.” His voice boomed through the house. “I never took the choice from you. Everything you did, everything you said, everything you felt—was real. None of it was fabricated. Did I nudge things along? Sure. Did I feel badly about it? Not in the least. I needed him to join me.”

“Join you? Join you? Like you made
Malena join you?” I clawed at Lucas’ hands, begging him to release me.

“
Malena is a different story.” Damien’s eyes glowed dangerously.

“A dead story!”

“That, of course, is a sad and terrible thing. But now her absence leaves me with no right hand. Ethan will take up that post.”

“Wait a minute! Lucas, let me go!”

I tore myself from him and paced the room.

“Samantha, I am really sorry.” Damien’s words did not fit his features. There was
no sorrow in his eyes, his face or his voice.

“Wait. When did you make this little pact with Ethan?”

“That is of no consequence. You’d do well to leave it be.”

“No, Damien. Answer me.”

“I don’t’ understand, Ethan. Why? Why do you have to go?” Lucas pleaded with his brother.

“We made the pact a couple of weeks after Lucas disappeared with Sebastian.” Ethan stared at the floor.

“So you made a pact for a new ‘right hand’ when you already had one? When Malena was still alive?”

“Yes.” Damien tone dared me to make the connection.

“So you were already planning on killing her? She was DOA before that day.”

“Sometimes, Samantha,
there have to be sacrifices.”

“Did she know?”

“No.”

“Ethan, look at me. Did you know?”

“Did I know what, Samantha?”

“Did you know he was planning on killing
Malena?”

Silence pierced the room and I felt like I was going to throw up.

“Did you know?” I screamed in his face, inches from him, forcing eye contact.

“Yes.” He whispered.

My hand flew to my mouth and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Ethan? You knew? You made this pact even though it signed
Malena’s death sentence?” Incredulity filled Lucas’ voice. He was just as astonished as I was.

“You bastard!” I flew at Damien hitting him, raining my rage upon him. He just stood there, unmoved but for pity. Nothing but sorrow filled his face.

“Samantha, no. It wasn’t his fault. I approached him. I made the pact. It’s all on me. I made the choice.” Ethan wedged himself between us.

“Then you’re a bastard too! How could you? What the hell were you thinking?”

“The same thing you were. You chose him, too. Remember?” His words were cold. True.

His words punched me in the gut and I doubled over, grabbing onto Lucas to keep me from falling into a heap on the floor.

“That’s enough of this. It’s time for us to go. Ethan.” Damien nodded toward my friend, my guardian angel. The one person who would’ve done anything to keep me safe. The one person who sacrificed himself to keep me safe.

“Please, Damien. Don’t take him. Take me instead. Please.” I reached up to his face and his grabbed me by my wrists.

“I would if I could, Samantha. That isn’t how it works. The promise has been made, the deal is done. Nothing to do now but begin.”

“If you ever loved me, you wouldn’t do this. If anything you ever said, anything you ever made me feel was true, you wouldn’t do this.”

“Samantha.” Lucas snaked his fingers between mine.

Ethan stood at the door, shoulders wide. “I’m ready.”

“No!”

As I screamed, the earth shoo
k for a moment and a beautiful, blinding light crashed through the room. As the spots faded from my eyes I saw. Ethan finally got his wings. As if his sacrifice deemed him worthy. They were beautiful, pure white, soft, full. He was finally the angel he’d wanted to be. He was finally whole.

He was
as surprised as we were. Gasping, he ran his hands over the feathers. Light filled his face just as tears fell.

“It is done.” Damien’s voice broke the awe-inspired silence.

“Please.” I sobbed.

“Sam, I never meant for this.” Ethan spoke through tears.

“Don’t go.”

“I have to. I can’t change it.”

“Why not? Just change your mind. That’s all. Just change your mind. Choose to stay.”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“We made a blood bond.”

Lucas inhaled sharply. “No. Ethan, you stupid, stupid— we could have talked this out! You could have come to me!”

“What? What does that mean?”

“It means if he doesn’t do as promised, the object of the agreement will die.”

“You were with Sebastian when I made the promise. I had to do what I thought was right. Had I been chosen, I wouldn’t have to go but she chose him so, that’s that.”

The gravity of my decisions fell on me like a ton of bricks. Physical pain poured into me, solidifying like concrete. Anguish pierced my skull. Every single emotion I’d ever felt brought me to my knees. “What have I done?”

Ethan walked over to me. “You did what was in your heart. I wish to God it were me in there. But it
isn’t. I know that now. I shouldn’t be angry. Maybe one day I won’t be.”

I grabbed his hand and brought it to my lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“I have to go.” He slipped his hand from my grasp and walked to the door.

“Lucas, please say goodbye to your brother. It is, I’m sure, not the last time you will see him but it’s time to say goodbye all the same.”

“But—“

“Please Lucas. You owe me nothing. I deserve your frustration and anger. But for your brother’s sake, please bid him a proper farewell. I’d like to speak to Samantha alone.”

I could feel Damien pulling the pain from me. I didn’t want it to go. It made me feel. As painful as it was, I knew I could finally handle it.

Lucas turned to me.

“It’s okay, Lucas.”