Daring to Dream (13 page)

Now I knew I was going through to the next round I had to let work know what was happening. I hadn’t shouted from the rooftops about my audition, so not that many people knew about it. I hadn’t told any of the prisoners at that point, but I knew it was going to be televised so they were definitely going to find out eventually – even if I didn’t
make it past the Wembley audition. I explained the situation to the governors and I had to get confirmation that I could take time off, which luckily they were brilliant about.

By the time the arena audition rolled around in July 2013, I’d hit 36. We were allowed to take as many people along with us as we wanted, and of course everyone and their dog wanted to come. I was particular about who I took along, though. I didn’t want people who were just there for the ride: I wanted people who were a support and had been there for me. There were a few people that kind of came out of the woodwork after years and wanted a piece of the action and I ruffled a few feathers because I said a few couldn’t come. It had become quite draining and I didn’t want my ‘entourage’ to be the focus of the day. I would happily have just had my closest family and friends but in the end there were about 20 of us, and that was more than enough.

My friend Karen works for a printing firm so we got T-shirts made up for my kids saying ‘Sam Bailey’s daughter’ and ‘Sam Bailey’s son’ with the
X Factor
logo on the front. When other people saw them they all wanted them too, so the majority of people who came along were wearing a ‘Sam Bailey’ top.

I had to be at the audition really early and it was mad being at Wembley knowing I was going to be singing on the same stage that so many world famous singers had performed on. It just happened to be one of the hottest days I’ve ever experienced. I was wearing harem trousers again, this time with a leopard-print sleeveless top and
some sandals. I still felt like a fat mum, and the little bit of make-up I’d put on had sweated off on the drive up, so I must have looked a right state.

There were so many people waiting outside the venue to see the judges and they wished me good luck as I went in. It was all new to me and it felt weird that people were pulling me from pillar to post and fussing over me. I was starting to recognise people who had auditioned for the show before, and that felt really big time because I knew they’d been there in previous years. The website Digital Spy had already printed information about who was good and who was standing out at the early auditions and they’d named me. Someone must have been tipping them off. I was pleased they’d name-checked me, but it also felt quite scary because now I had to live up to the hype.

It was
such
a long, busy day and people were running around manically with clipboards and radios. We were waiting backstage for ages; the crew had cordoned off about half of the arena and there were boxes for us to sit on. There was also a make-up area. The camera crew were filming people getting ready in the mirrors and they asked if I wanted to go and join them and be filmed and I was like, ‘Erm, this is as good as it gets! I won’t be putting on any more make-up on today. This is me.’ My kids loved it. They got to meet Louis, and Nicole came and had her photo taken with them, and I think it will probably always be one of the best days of their lives.

My mother-in-law was with us and she’s got fibromyalgia so she can’t stand for too long, and my sister-in-law was about six months pregnant. My friend Christine was also in a wheelchair and I was so worried about all of them. Making sure the kids had enough juice and everyone had drinks helped to take my mind off what I was about to do. Every time someone went out and performed you could hear the screams from the audience and it would stop me in my tracks and remind me where I was and what I was doing.

Just before I went on stage Dermot came over to have a chat and it was so funny to see all of my friends and family packing in tightly around me so they could get on TV. Tommy was having a whale of a time with Dermot. They became best buddies. Dermot was so taken aback by how much Tommy looked like him when he was a kid. They were pinching each other’s noses and playing and it was so sweet. Dermot is one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet.

I felt like I’d been there for days and done a million interviews when the time came for me to perform. I was standing at the side of the stage watching Kingsland Road, and then it was my turn. I felt so aware of myself walking out onto the stage. Thankfully I didn’t have heels on but there wasn’t even a hint of ladylikeness in the way I walked over to the mic. Gary said, ‘Oh, here she comes!’ and I gave him a quick smile. I introduced myself to the audience and told them what I did for a living and loads of people cheered, but there were definitely a couple of boos too.

I started singing and I properly went for it. My bolshiness came out as I moved around the stage. I’m not a dainty
hand-moving
kind of person, I’m a definite fist puncher, and I was doing that all the way. I had my eyes closed and when I opened them everyone in the arena was on their feet. It was amazing. In that moment I didn’t care what happened afterwards because I’d got what I came for. I’d got recognition and it felt unbelievable. I would have died a happy woman there and then.

After I sang ‘Who’s Loving’ the judges joked that they felt like they were at a Sam Bailey concert and then said they wanted to hear another song. I performed ‘Run To You’ by Whitney Houston and that song has always reminded me of my dad. There have been so many times where I’ve wanted to run up and give him a hug but he’s not around anymore, so it was really emotive for me. I liked to think he was watching me from somewhere, giving me a measured nod and saying it was ‘handsome’.

When I finished, the judges said that they could have sat there and listened to me all day, and they all said they wanted to see me at the next stage. I mean, seriously? One day I was working in the prison service, and the next I was performing for music legends and 4,000 members of the public, including some of my family and closest friends. Who does that? Up until that point I wouldn’t have said it was ‘Sam Bailey from Leicester’.

I could see someone running towards me from the corner of my eye and when I turned around it was Brooke with a
massive smile on her face. Tommy was sound asleep in Craig’s arms, and my mother-in-law ran on without her wheelchair. It was like she was magically cured! We did take the mickey out of her something terrible afterwards. She has good days and bad days and she can’t stand for long, but somehow she managed to leg it on stage and give me a hug that day!

I was absolutely buzzing when I got off stage and I went straight off to do some interviews. It was after I’d finished them that I discovered the power of Twitter. I already had a Twitter account under the name Sammy Soprano, but I only had about 60 followers. I searched my name and so many comments came up saying things like ‘look out for her, she’s going to be the winner’. It freaked me out a bit to see the public talking about me. I was officially a little bit ‘known’.

I changed my name to Sam Bailey on Twitter and I got more followers that day as a result. I’ve now got over 350,000 followers, so I’m much more careful about what I say. I had to deactivate my Facebook account because people started taking private photos off it, and when that happened it was a whole new world. My life changed so quickly.

I was so chuffed that I’d gone through to Bootcamp, but there was one little problem. Every year on 2nd January I book a holiday for the family to go away, and I’d arranged for us all to go to Haven at Devon Cliffs with my mum. I’d paid for it all upfront and we were due to go in early August for a week. On the way home I turned to Craig and said, ‘Shit! Holiday! Bootcamp is the same week.’ I didn’t want to
cancel it because the kids were really looking forward to it, so I told Craig that he’d have to go with my mum. You can imagine how well that went down.

Even though things were being leaked on the Internet, we had to keep the fact I’d got through to Bootcamp as quiet as possible, which meant the kids couldn’t even tell their friends. That was hard for them because they were so excited. And I won’t lie; it was quite hard for me too. I wanted to tell the world.

The other issue was work, because of course I had to tell my bosses I was through to Bootcamp. I had booked the week off because of the holiday anyway, but we had to talk about the ‘what ifs’. ‘What if’ I got through Bootcamp and had to go to Judges’ Houses? ‘What if’ I got into the live finals? The governor of the prison was really supportive and sweet about it all. I didn’t think he was going to turn around and say my job was on the line if I carried on in the show because he’s a really nice guy, but there was always a slight risk he would say that me being in the show was too disruptive when it came to the prison. He would have had every right to feel that way.

Bootcamp was looming and I had a lot of my mind. Once again, one of the main things being ‘What the hell am I going to wear?’ I still didn’t own many clothes and we were going to be there for six days. I borrowed some money from my friend Jo so I could go shopping and I took my sister-in-law Laura along with me so she could give me fashion advice. I really needed something decent
to wear on stage. I knew that everyone would be upping their game. I bought some Ted Baker sandals, some linen trousers and a load of tops. River Island proved to be a bit of a goldmine for bits and I spoilt myself with a couple of tops from All Saints as well.

Bootcamp was held at Wembley Arena and we were all booked in to stay at the Premier Inn in Wembley Park. We pretty much took the hotel over. I went down to London a day early with a girl called Katy and a guy called Lee that I knew from the gigging circuit. They’d got through to Bootcamp too, and we went around London for a day of fun and then shared a hotel room that night. The rest of the contestants turned up the next day with their suitcases and the show filmed us walking down the concourse to the arena. There were hundreds of us and we had to walk up and down loads of times to get the best shot. It was knackering!

Just after we got back to the hotel I got a phone call from my Auntie Jo who told me that my nan didn’t have long to live. She had lung cancer, which I was very aware of, but she deteriorated really quickly. Jo told me she probably only had days left. I was very upset but I made the decision not to tell anyone else who was at Bootcamp. I didn’t want it to become a ‘story’. I didn’t want to be ‘Sam, who’s doing it for her nan’. It was a private situation.

We were given the information about who we were sharing rooms with and the same day found out who our mentors would be. We all had to stand outside and wait for the limos
with the judges inside to pull up. I was praying I’d get Sharon, because I loved her from the minute I met her, or Gary, because he’s a real singers’ singer. The Girls’ category mentor was revealed first and we just saw this incredible leg emerge from the back of a car followed by Nicole. It was the Overs turn next, my group, and when I saw Sharon’s amazing heel step out of the car I burst into tears and went running towards her. You can see me sobbing on the footage. I hadn’t had a proper chance to meet her yet and I had so much respect for her. I was laughing and crying at the same time.

Next we were sent off to learn our group songs. I was put into a group with two women called Katie and Shelley, who appeared on the live finals. Shelley is this big bubble of loveliness that you can’t help but laugh at. She was
full-on
, but I thought she was great. We had a choice of three songs and we had to decide which one we liked most. We decided on ‘I’m Every Woman’ by Chaka Khan and I felt slightly sorry for Katie because she had a real Rod Stewart husk to her voice and so it wasn’t an easy one for her. I was worried we’d made the wrong choice on the song and I wanted Katie to feel comfortable, but she insisted we went ahead. We worked really hard and it helped to take my mind off my nan. The thought that she could potentially pass away that day was horrifying.

It was a really long day and we were all exhausted and ready for bed. The hotel bar was full of people partying, and all of the corridors were packed with others rehearsing. I just wanted to
go to sleep but when we got into bed we discovered that our sheets were damp. My pyjamas were getting wet and it was really uncomfortable. We called reception and asked them to change them but, awfully, one of the other contestants had collapsed and an ambulance had been called so they were understandably manic. As a result it, took an hour and a half for someone to come and change our sheets, by which time I was practically falling asleep standing up. I was cold, damp and exhausted. By the time we finally climbed into bed I was so overtired I couldn’t sleep.

The following day I was beyond tired, but I had to pull myself together because we had a full-on day ahead. I had breakfast with Shelley; she’d been sharing with a slightly bonkers woman who had kept her awake until 3am, so she was feeling pretty rubbish too. Just before we performed Shelley started crying. She was worried that her voice wasn’t up to scratch because she was so shattered. When we got onto the stage Shelley told the judges that she hadn’t had any sleep. I kept quiet because I’ve never been to a concert where someone said they’re tired or their voice wasn’t feeling great. You just have to get on with it. I don’t think the people who were coming out with excuses did themselves any favours. I could easily have told the judges that we’d had a late night because of the bed sheets but I didn’t want to try and go for the sympathy vote. What I didn’t know was that one of my roommates had done exactly that earlier in the day. She’d told the judges that she was tired and that she’d been sharing
with me, and it had been noted that I didn’t try and use our bed nightmare as an excuse.

We all really went for it but I thought I’d totally buggered things up. Sharon gave Katie and I a bit of a pep talk and said that the competition was dog eat dog and we were up against each other. I learnt a valid lesson that day. It may seem selfish but at the end of the day you’re there for you, so you have to concentrate on that.