Damaged But Not Broken (New Adult Rockers) (22 page)

We come together, each of us lost
in our own pleasure, until Paige finally collapses on top of me, and I hug her
tightly against me.

The past two nights with Paige have
been the most erotic and intimate sexual experiences that I’ve ever had with
another woman.

Needless to say, we don’t pick up
our guitars again for the rest of the night.

~~~

We have to set the alarm so that
we’re up by seven the next morning, and I give Paige a quick kiss before I
disappear back to my hotel room. Forty minutes later, we’re piled into the van,
each of us armed with a cup of caffeine.

Kenny is unusually quiet this
morning and I notice Paige chewing on her lip nervously; I’m sure she picks up
on it. Since Kenny is being so quiet, Liam turns around from the front seat to
explain to us how we’re going to work out recording.

“We have two hours in the studio,”
Liam explains, and Ben groans. “I know, I know, it’s not a lot of time, but we
have to make the best out of what we have. Remember, this was planned last
minute.” He continues. “Rust can start out with the first hour, and then Paige
can come in. The goal is to get each of you to record two or three songs. I
know it’s going to be tough, and keep in mind that it’s not going to be
perfect, but we’re still going to make sure it’s great.”

“Umm, Liam?” Paige asks
tentatively.

“Yeah?”

“If we end up finishing a bit
early, could Blake and I try recording something together? I know it’s not
planned or anything, but we played through ‘Need You Now’ last night for fun,
and it went really well.”

I stare at her in surprise. I think
it’s an amazing idea and I’m sorry I didn’t think of it myself. Ben and Ryan
are both staring at us.

Liam looks to me and I nod in
agreement. “Uh, sure, we can definitely try if we have a few extra minutes.”

Paige flushes and looks down. “We
can use my time. I don’t want to take away from the band.”

“Let’s see how it goes,” Liam says,
and he turns back around and starts whispering with Kenny in the front seat.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly,
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I kind of blurted it out without
thinking.”

Ben and Ryan don’t turn around but
I know they are listening.

“No, it’s not a problem. I wish I
had thought of it myself.”

A little over five hours and one
fast-food drive thru later, we arrive at the recording studio. Liam and Kenny
are about twenty feet away, seemingly in the midst of a heated conversation.
Liam walks away, looking pissed off.

“Alright gang, slight change of
plans,” he says, looking at the four of us. “Kenny, Jack and Elvis are going to
check in to the hotel, and get your bags moved to your rooms, and I’m going to
stick with you in the studio. In two hours, Elvis will come back for us.”

I can see Paige is perplexed by her
father not coming with us.

“I don’t know what’s up with him,”
she murmurs as we head inside the studio.

“He’s a busy guy,” I tell her,
“maybe coming away with us is a little too much. Maybe he has too much going on
back at the office.”

Paige brightens a little. “You
know, you’re probably right. Maybe I’ll talk to him later and suggest that he
head back to Nashville. Liam seems to be handling things well.”

We split up in the studio, and I
give Paige a quick kiss before the guys and I head into the studio. It’s tough,
but we manage to cut three songs in an hour. They aren’t perfect, and they
won’t be mixed to the best quality, but I’m surprised at how well they turn
out.

“Great!” Liam calls out from the
booth, giving us a thumbs up. “I’ll go get Paige.”

We file out and Paige walks in with
her guitar. I want to stay and listen but I know it will just make her nervous.

“Hopefully, I’ll be quick and we'll
have enough time to do our song,” she says.

I squeeze her shoulder and let her
get to work. The guys and I hang out in a small room lined with plush red
couches. There’s also a flat screen TV and a mini-fridge stocked with drinks.
Ryan flips on ESPN and we all relax, our eyes glazing over as we watch the
sports highlights while sipping cold drinks.

Liam pops his head in, interrupting
us.

“Blake, Paige is finished if you
want to try to record that duet with her.”

I jump up. “Sure!”

I follow after Liam, and head into
the studio with Paige.

“Hey,” she says, her guitar slung
over her body, her eyes bright with excitement.

I’m excited too as I get my guitar
out.

“Ready?” I ask her, once we get the
okay from the booth.

“Ready.”

We start the chords, and we hear
the backup music kick in from the booth. Paige starts off, her voice clear and
stunning. I join in, and then we’re lost in the song, neither one of us aware
of anything but our own voices melding together.

When we finish, we just sit in
silence, unaware of the people around us.

“Holy shit,” Liam says from the
booth, breaking the silence. Paige and I both turn to look at him. “That was
incredible! You guys just nailed that shit in one take!”

He high fives with the engineer in
the booth and then Liam speaks again.

“That is golden! Seriously, you
two, you need to do more of that. I’m going straight to Kenny to see if we can
get you guys to play that during the tour. Holy crap!”

Paige is beaming and I rush over
and pull her to me.

It feels so right having her in my
arms, and I don’t care who’s looking when I kiss her hard on the mouth.

TWENTY

Paige

On The Road

Blake and I quickly fall into an
easy pattern on tour. We spend most of the days on the road, sitting in the
backseat, holding hands and whispering. Once we get to our hotel, we go our
separate ways and meet up again in the van. We each play our own set, and
finish the show with what has become our duet.

Ben and Ryan tease us a bit, but we
don’t care. We never go out after our shows, but instead hole up in my hotel
room, spending most of our time making love. Then we get up in the morning and
do it all over again.

It’s pure heaven.

The only dark spot so far has been
my father’s strange behavior. I tried talking to him a few days into the tour,
suggesting that maybe he should head back to Nashville to stay on top of his
business. He snapped at me, telling me that everything was fine and not to
worry. He promised that everything was under control.

Today is our tenth day on tour, and
the day that my Daddy is scheduled to fly back to Nashville. We are just
outside of Los Angeles and I’ve invited my dad to join me for an afternoon cup
of coffee. The day is clear and bright, and I'm enjoying people-watching the
folks who pass by our outdoor café.

“Daddy, are you sure you’re going
to be okay?” I ask again, as I sip my iced coconut coffee.

“Paige,” he says, exasperated. “For
the hundredth time, I told you I’m fine.” His voice is a little too sharp for
me, and it makes me flinch. “I’m sorry, honey. Just under a lot of pressure.”

I fidget at the table. I had placed
a phone call to Becky earlier that morning before we left the hotel, and asked
about what was going on at the office and what could possibly be making my dad
stress out so much. What's puzzling is that Becky assured me things were
relatively calm in the office and that Kenny would be coming home to a pretty
easy work schedule.

“I talked to Becky this morning,” I
venture, gauging my dad’s reaction. My dad and I aren’t really close enough for
such a conversation. I feel that I’m treading on uncertain waters. He stiffens.
“She said things are pretty calm at the office.”

My dad sips his coffee before
responding. “I don’t consult Becky with every facet of my work,” he says
coolly, “she’s just my secretary.”

I nod, not sure what I think. He’s
acting so strange, and I know he highly values Becky.

“Daddy, I’m just worried. You were
so excited about this tour, but you’ve spent most of the time alone and letting
Liam handle things.” I leave out the piece about his strange behavior.

“What do you want from me, Paige?”
he demands, suddenly angry.

I’m taken back. “I don’t know,” I
stutter, “I’m sorry I asked you out this afternoon. I just thought something
was wrong. Forget it.” I stand up angrily and grab my purse.

“Maybe you should worry about your
music more, and let me worry about my business,” he says sharply.

I stare at him, dumfounded.

“Paige, wait,” he says, instantly
apologetic.

“Forget it. Have a nice flight back
to Nashville. I’ll see you in a few weeks.’’ I stalk off, fuming.

Just when I think things are going
well with my dad, he suddenly takes this bizarre turn. I don’t understand. When
I first returned to Nashville, he was so attentive to my every need and so
sorrowful about what happened. It was almost too much, but now this is the
other extreme.

I want to call Blake, but I don’t
want to burden him. I’ll see him soon enough, and I don’t want to unload more
of my concerns on him. Things are moving so quickly with Blake, and it
sometimes worries me.

That’s the other strange thing
about my father. He’s barely commented on my relationship with Blake. I thought
it would have roused some reaction in him, but he barely blinked when he found
out. Could he be so out of it, that he just doesn't care?

I half expect my father to follow
after me, but he doesn’t. I walk the few short blocks back to our hotel, and I
almost cry with happiness when I see Blake lounging in the lobby, scrolling
through his phone.

“Hey baby,” he says, jumping up and
striding towards me.

“Blake,” I sigh, allowing him to
hug me.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Kenny?”

I shake my head. “Don’t ask. We
barely got to talking before he got angry. Then
I
got angry, and stormed
out of there.”

“You’re kidding? What happened?”
Blake leads me to two chairs in a quiet corner of the lobby.

“I don’t really want to talk about
it. I’m so confused. I talked to Becky this morning and she said that things
were really slow around the office, but my dad said he was under a lot of
pressure. When I told him that I had talked to Becky, he got all defensive.”

Blake sits quietly for a few
seconds, running his fingers gently over the back of my hand. “I’m going to
suggest something Paige, and I don’t want you to freak out, but to just
consider it.”

I freeze, already nervous by his
choice of words.

“Could it be,” he says delicately, “that
your father may be drinking again?”

I feel my head spin at the thought,
and all the air leaves me.

“No,” I say too quickly,
immediately on the defense.

“Just think about it,” he soothes,
“I’m trying to help here.”

I shake my head vehemently, unable
to even consider such a suggestion.

“He screwed up his entire life by
drinking,” I point out, “he’s been clean. He acts clean. All he drinks are
Frescas for crying out loud!”

“I know, I know,” Blake says, “I
just want you to think about it. It would explain the erratic behavior, the
defensiveness and being withdrawn.”

Deep down, I know that Blake has a
point, and I know that those are all warning signs of an addict. And my father
is
an addict, that’s something that will never go away. But he worked so hard to
get me home; I can’t imagine he would jeopardize everything by drinking again.
Not to mention, how he lost
everything
by drinking before. Would he
really take that gamble again?

“I just can’t think about that
now,” I say helplessly, and Blake puts his arm around my shoulder.

“Come on. Let’s get you back to
your room.” He helps me up and we make our way to the elevator. “Maybe consider
talking to Becky some more. Ask about his habits at work. It’s no secret that
your daddy was a drinker, and Becky seems trustworthy. Maybe she can shed some
light on it.”

I nod, letting Blake lead me to the
elevator and up to my room.

“Get some rest,” he says, glancing
at his watch. “I’ll see you in a couple hours, okay? I’m going to go over some
music with the guys.”

 “Okay. Thank you.”

Blake gives me a gentle kiss and
leaves me in my room. I set the timer on my phone, still feeling upset over the
argument with my dad. I lie down on my bed and fall asleep in no time.

~~~

Our show in Los Angeles is our best
yet, and I’m somewhat disappointed that my dad didn’t see it. I thought Liam
might come up to me and say my dad left a message or something before he flew
home, but he says nothing. We spend the next few days in Arizona and Colorado,
and before I know it we’ve hit the halfway point of our tour.

We’re stopped for lunch not far
from our next stop in Wichita when my phone goes off. I see that it’s Becky,
and I’m happy she’s calling because I haven’t been able to bring myself to call
and ask her about my dad’s behavior.

“Hey,” I say happily into the
phone.

“Hi Paige! How’s the tour going?”

“Really well, thanks. How are you?”

“Umm, I’m fine. I just wanted to
check in with you.”

Something is definitely up.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s your dad. Does he have
some personal issues or something going on right now?”

I excuse myself from the table,
getting a questioning look from Blake, and head outside to take the call.

“There’s nothing that I’m aware of,
but he was also acting strange while he was on tour with us. To be honest,
Becky, I haven’t spent time with him in thirteen years, so I’m not really sure
what is going on.”

“I know, I know,” she says quickly,
“I know you just came back to Nashville. It’s just that he’s missed some pretty
important business meetings, and something doesn’t seem right. I just thought
you might know something.”