Crossroads (21 page)

The keys jiggle in the
lock signalling Nick’s arrival and I adjust myself on the bed. 
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
His footsteps become louder and my heart rate increases, my libido kicking in.  When Nick enters the room his eyes go wide and the sexy smirk that I love so much appears on his handsome face.  His dimples smile at me and I feel the pull to him coming directly from between my legs.

“Wow Em,” he says, his eyes wandering up and down my body.

I did exactly as he asked - I am dressed in nothing but my bikini.  I’m lying on my side with my head propped on my elbow, trying to look like a seductress.  By the heat in Nick’s gaze I’d say it’s working.  He puts his phone, keys and wallet on the tall chest of drawers, keeping his piercing blue eyes on me the whole time.  He kicks off his shoes and tugs his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor.  My eyes lose focus on his face when that deliciously ripped torso of his is revealed.  I gawk unabashedly at his perfection as he stalks towards me.  When he reaches the side of the bed I sit up slightly.  His crotch is in perfect position near my face.  I reach for the button on his shorts.  Undoing his zipper slowly I look up at his face and lick my lips.  He groans which causes me to smile.  It makes me feel unbelievably powerful.

His hard cock frees from his shorts and I gently kiss th
e tip, before helping him remove his shorts completely.  Then I grab hold of his shaft with my hand and forcefully suck him into my mouth.  In and out of my mouth, up and down with my hand, until he’s slick all over with the pre-cum and moisture from my saliva.  Slipping and sliding all the way to the back of my throat.  I grip his arse cheek with my free hand, pulling him closer.  He grabs hold of my hair and tugs it just hard enough to drive me even wilder with desire.  I can feel he is close to coming which only spurs me on more.  I suck him hard and fast until he eventually pushes me away.  He throws me so roughly onto my stomach that it takes my breath away.  I allow him to position me just how he wants me. As much as I love having power over him, I also love giving him all the power too.

“
Bring that arse up to me,” he demands and I comply, getting up on all fours.  He slaps my arse cheek then soothingly rubs it and I groan.  I feel him climb onto the bed behind me, his hard cock rubbing along my arse crack for a moment.  Then his hands glide their way up to the strings on my bikini bottoms and he pulls both bows loose at the same time.  I feel the material falling away from my body and I shiver in anticipation.  His hands grasp my hips and he rubs himself against my folds.  Over and over.

“Nick, please,” I beg when it seems like he’s never going to enter me.  “Please -
ahh,” he forcefully pushes himself inside me.

“You feel so good,” he says
, leaning forward so that his warm chest is resting on my back, his mouth on my shoulder.  He kisses me there, his stubble prickling and tickling me in just the right way.  He thrusts back and forth a couple of times before straightening his body again.  He angles himself inside me in such a way that he hits a spot I didn’t know existed.  I feel like I am about to burst in spontaneous pleasure already.  The desire is so strong, the pleasure so infinite, I find it difficult to breathe.

When I eventually do explode
, I scream out so loudly it echoes, reverberating against the walls of my apartment.  Nick stills inside me as I convulse around him.  When I eventually calm down he slowly begins to move again.  My legs are weak and I’m unable to stay on my knees so I collapse against the bed and Nick comes down with me.  My hands that were gripping the sheet below me find their way to Nick’s and our fingers thread together and hold onto one another tightly above us on the bed.  Nick slowly enters me over and over again, his heavy hot breath against my neck and the side of my face.  His lips find my shoulder blade as he forces me to come again with one hard thrust.  He follows soon after and we lay like that catching our breath for what seems like ages, both of us content to remain connected in perfect bliss.

When we finally pry ourselves out of that position, Nick tucks me into the curve of his body, my back to his front
, he spoons me.  I sigh in contentment.

“That was incredible,” Nick says softly in my ear.

“Mmm,” is all I manage, exhausted and ready for sleep.  I close my eyes and Nick holds me tighter, my hands covering his, wrapped around my body.  “So good,” I mumble drifting off to sleep.

After a moment of sile
nce I get a fright when Nick speaks from behind me.

“I love you Em.”

What?

My
eyes open wide and my heart thumps rapidly against my rib cage.  He breathes out against the back of my neck sending goose bumps all over.  I feel my eyes sting with unshed tears and I blink them away before forcing my eyes closed again.

I love you too.

I cannot speak the words.  It’s too hard to admit these feelings aloud.  Nick was never meant to love me. He can’t say that to me, not when he is leaving, that’s not fair.

I try to remain still, let him think I’m
sleeping.  I control my breathing until I finally hear his even out, I feel his arms relax around me letting me know he’s asleep. 

I wave goodbye to Em who is sitting on the train, then turn back to the customer in front of me.  I know I’d decided not to tell Em my feelings yet.  She wasn’t ready to hear it.  Last night, that wasn’t how I wanted to say those words to her, not to the back of her head.  The very first time I’ve ever said that to a girl and I stuffed up. I couldn’t help it, it just came out.  I had a feeling she was awake but it wasn’t until I caught her glancing awkwardly away from me earlier this morning that she confirmed it.  She’d heard.  And she didn’t say it back.

I try not to let it get to me. 
She’s not ready.
It’s too soon.  I’m still in shock at it myself, but it’s true, I
do
love her.

But
I told her and she didn’t say it back.

Things between Nick and I progress from strength to strength over the next couple of days.  He doesn’t say he loves me again and I don’t say it to him either.  Maybe he was half-asleep and said it without meaning to, maybe he didn’t mean it at all. 
Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.

Looking at Nick across the kitchen table I know that’s not true.  He meant it alright, whether he meant to say it aloud is another story.  When I look into his beautiful blue eyes I can see the love there.  I know he loves me and I love him too, but this can’t happen.  He’s leaving and
this
is ending.

Regardless, he completely consumes me.  I can’t concentrate on
work, I don’t even want to be there.  I spend every minute, every second, thinking about him.  As soon as five o’clock rolls around I rush out the door to get home.

It’s Friday night, the weekend,
finally the time we have been waiting for all week is here.  It’s just us and we have finished dinner. I clear the dishes from the table.  We have the whole weekend to spend together and I feel the anticipation building.

“Em?”
  Nick comes up behind me, placing a glass in the sink.  Something is off by his tone and I know what he says next won’t be something I want to hear.  “I have a gig tonight.”

I swing around to face him.

“I’m really sorry.  It was a last minute cancellation.  I said no and they doubled the price.  They’re desperate and the money was too good to refuse.”  He speaks in a rush and I can see the concern in his eyes.

We have been talking about our weekend, looking forward to spending time in our bubble
, our own little world, and now not only do we have to go to dinner tomorrow night with Hailey, but he’s going out tonight as well.  I don’t want to appear selfish so I try my best to put on a brave face.

“It’s okay-”

“No it’s not.  I’m really sorry,” he says, his face ashen.

“When did they call?” I ask
, my eyes searching his face.

“About half an hour ago.
  You were in the shower.”

“Oh,” I pull him into my arms.  “I like that you were so concerned and worried for my reaction.  But it’s fine Nick.  I’ll be here waiting for you when you get home.”

His face brightens and he gives me a genuine smile.

“You better be.”

“Well it’s not like I have anywhere else to go.” I laugh.

“So you’re not mad?”  I shake my head.  “Why don’t you come with me?”

“Nah, you know clubbing’s not my thing.”

I turn back to the sink.  Nick stands behind me silently for a moment while I wash the dishes.  Then he sighs and walks away.

“I’m gonna go have a shower, get ready.”

“Nicky!
”  Mum greets me with a warm embrace when I enter the kitchen.

“Hey Ma.”
  I give her a peck on the cheek, turning to face my father.  “Dad.”

“Nick.
”  He nods.

“You didn’t bring Emma with you?” Mum asks, peering back to the doorway.

“No, I’m just here to collect my DJ gear.  I’ve got a gig tonight.”

“Have you eaten?  I could get you-”

“I’m fine Ma.  Em’s a pretty good cook actually.”

“I’m glad she’s taking care of you.”  Mum smiles at me.

“Sorry I don’t have much time, I’ve gotta get ready for work.”  I edge towards the doorway, but not before I see Dad shaking his head.  I’m on edge already because Em brushed me off earlier when I asked her to come to the club with me.  So Dad being his usual self, really grates on my nerves.  I swing in his direction.  “
What?
”

“
Work!
” he scoffs.  “Playing music is not
work!
”

“Whatever.
I don’t need to listen to this shit!”  I turn to leave the room, but he’s not done yet.

“You need to grow up Nick,” he says, and I stop in my tracks.  “You should be married and working a real job by now.  But
instead you act like you are too young to understand.  You’re immature and living in a fantasy world.  Now you’re living in sin with some girl.  Then next week you’re off to travel the world?”

“Em is not just
some girl
.”

“
It’s pathetic!  You’re childish!  My only hope is that being out there in the real world will help you grow up!”  He stalks out of the room.

I am so angry I could punch him.  I leap forward to do just that and Mum grabs hold of my arm.  She may
only be small, but she’s pretty strong.  Strong enough to give me pause at least.

“No Nick!”

I look down at her face full of sorrow and I know I cannot go after him.  I know if I were to punch him like I wanted to, it would break my mother’s heart.  And I can’t do that.

“Don’t let him get you down.  His heart’s in the right place-”

“Bullshit!” I yell, causing her to flinch.  “I’m sorry Ma, I gotta get out of here.”

***

I’m in a foul mood by the time I get to the club.  What my Dad said, on top of Em not caring enough to come with me tonight, when I really wanted her to, along with the fact that I shouldn’t even be here in the first place.  Everything just piles up on me and I am so relieved when my set is finally over.  I don’t think I have ever enjoyed DJing less than I did tonight.

When I get back to
Em’s apartment she’s not in bed like I expect.

“Em?”

“I’m in here,” she calls out from the spare room.

When I enter
the room, I find her propped up against the headboard of the spare bed.  She has a sketch pad resting on her knees and paper sprawled around her on the mattress.  She looks up at me with a smile which shoots an arrow straight into my heart, causing it to beat wildly.  I’m instantly put into a better frame of mind.

“What time is it?” she asks.

“It’s almost three.  Why aren’t you in bed already?”

I move closer to her and pick up one of the drawings.  I don’t know much about art, but I do know that she’s drawing with charcoal and that she’s very good at it.  The picture in my hand is of the beach huts at Brighton Beach
, the beach we only visited earlier this week.  The details are extraordinary, the scene leaping off the page.  I pick up another drawing, this one is of a vase of flowers.  I glance out the doorway and I can see the flowers I bought her a couple of days ago still sitting on the bench.  The likeness is uncanny.

“I haven’t drawn anything in ages.  I was feeling inspired.”

“These are so good Em.”

I knew she liked to draw.  She’d mentioned it to me before.  It was the whole reason she took the job at G & C Printing - to work in the graphics department.  But I had no idea that she was so talented.  I gather up some of the papers and sit on the edge of the bed.  I can feel her eyes on me
as I flick through them.  When I come to a particular drawing, a self-portrait, she quickly grabs it from me and screws it up.

“Hey!”

“It’s a shit one Nick!”  She tosses it to the floor.  I bend down to pick it up.  “Please don’t.”  I ignore her plea and flatten it out on my lap.  In the picture she’s resting her chin on her hand and looking off into the distance.  Even though it is only black and white I can see so much depth to the drawing.  It’s a picture of longing, that’s the only way I can describe it, Em looks beautiful and thoughtful and melancholy in it.  I’m keeping it.

“It’s beautiful Em.  You are so talented.”

She drops her head down and covers her face with her hands for a moment, before sitting up straighter.

“Now this is a good one,” she says, passing her sketchbook over to me.  “This guy is pretty good looking I think.”

I chuckle when I see that it is a picture of me.  I’m smiling wildly and the resemblance is amazing, like looking in a mirror, well almost.

“Yes, he’s pretty good looking,” I say jokingly.  She punches me in the shoulder.  “Do you ever get to draw like this at work?”

“Nah.  I’m pretty much stuck on a computer all day.”

“You should draw more often.  These are fantastic!”  I turn back to the papers scattered on the bed, thumbing through them while I speak. 
I am in total awe.  “I can’t believe I haven’t seen any of these before.”

“Well I only drew them tonight.”

“You did all of these tonight?”

She shrugs, picking up a pile to the left of her. 
“Except these ones.  These are older.  I’ve got piles of them in the boxes over there.”  She points to the stacked boxes in the corner.  “I’ve even got all the pictures I drew when I was in high school.  I’m a bit of a hoarder.”

“Well if they’re half as good as these, I wouldn’t throw them out either.”  I continue to look through the pile she handed to me.  I see pictures o
f dogs, landscapes, her parents, Kat… “These are amazing!  What are you doing wasting your time at a computer?”

She doesn’t answer.  I finish looking through the pile in my hands and then look up to see her staring at me, her eyes glassy.

“You really think they’re good?” she asks in a small voice.

“They’re so much more than good!”

She wipes a tear from her cheek and smiles at me sadly.  She starts to pack up the pictures without saying a word.  I give her a hand, not sure what to say.  The silence stretches until it becomes unbearable.

“What’s wrong Em?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired and emotional is all,” she says smiling meekly.  “I need some sleep.”

“Come on then,” I say, taking hold o
f her hand, switching off lights as I guide her through the apartment to her bedroom.

She climbs into bed and I take off my clothes
, following her.  I tuck her body into mine.

“Good night Nick.”

“Night Em,” I say, kissing her hair and squeezing her tightly.

Even though I’m naked and my cock is more than awake, for once I am content to just hold her and sleep.