CROSS (A Gentry Boys Novella) (2 page)

It was an erotic, painfully taboo moment that ended an instant later when Stone’s head snapped up, the naked lust on his face replaced with the look of supreme boredom that he usually wore.  He hiked up his boxers and pointedly turned away as if I wasn’t even there. 

I closed the window.  I shut the curtains.  I leaned against the wall, feeling strange and awkward and somehow completely wrong.  My skin tingled and somewhere in my head a hideous whisper reminded me that I knew how to force unwanted thoughts away. 

No.  I wouldn’t do that right now, not for this.  Already the moment had gone stale and I started to wonder if it had even happened. 

It
had
though.  It had happened.   Stone Gentry and I, for the briefest instant, had connected in a way that was unthinkable. 

But that was all.  It meant absolutely nothing.  I loved Conway.  I didn’t have to think about it anymore.  I wouldn’t. 

CONWAY

My brother could be such an asshole. 

First he shook me awake before the crack of dawn just to extort some cigarettes.  I wasn’t a regular smoker but there were two loose cigarettes in the drawer of my nightstand.  I threw them in his direction just to shut him up and then kicked off the bed sheet because sometime in the night the power was knocked out, taking the air conditioning with it.

That’s when Stone decided to harass me about the morning boner that was making a tent in my boxers. 

“That’s some serious frustration there,” he smirked, lighting up and blowing a cloud at the ceiling. 

I threw a pillow at him.  “Fuck you.  Like you never wake up with wood?”

“Not like that, man.  You see, I get my wood handled regularly.  Unlike you.”

I rose up on my elbows. All I wanted was for Stone to close his mouth and go somewhere else so I could roll over and get off.  But that comment was a deliberate shot and I couldn’t just let it go by.   

“I get my shit handled plenty,” I protested and it was only half a lie. 

Erin and I fooled around all the time and the fact that we hadn’t sealed the deal yet just proved that what was between us was real.  She would have done it.  She would have done it to make me happy.  Yet when we had sex I couldn’t let the reason be because I’d pushed her into it.  We’d get there when she was ready.  In the meantime I was getting lots of mileage out of hand jobs and jerk offs. 

Stone wouldn’t understand.  He was always full speed when it came to fucking around, like he might not live another day if he wasn’t being led around by a satisfied cock.  

My brother blew another cloud of smoke and grinned with that kind of all-knowing Stone coolness that made me want to hit him something a whole lot harder than a pillow. 

“Shut up,” I ordered. 

“Didn’t say a thing, brother.” 

“I don’t like what you’re thinking.” 

He cocked his head and widened his eyes with mock innocence.  “I’m not allowed to think?”

“Not if it’s something dirty about my girlfriend.” 

“I wasn’t having any thoughts, dirty or otherwise, about your girlfriend.”

“Bullshit.”   

He laughed.  “You think I’m into Erin?  Forget the fact that she’s wrapped around your ugly ass, I don’t have the patience for that kind of noise.”

My anger rose.  “What noise?”

Stone pinched the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger, examined it thoughtfully and then set it down on an ancient nightstand that was etched with years of battle scars.  He batted his eyes and clasped his hands in front of his chest as he spoke in a high-pitched female voice.  “Oh god, I love you.  I love you more than ice cream or cheesecake.”

“Knock it off.” 

Stone wouldn’t stop.  He kept on going in a breathy orgasmic way in a voice that was supposed to mimic Erin’s.  “Conway, I love you so much that I’m shitting out pink cotton candy and roses.” 

“Stone!” 

“And one of these days I might even reward you with my secret female flower so you can stop staining your sheets.” 

I shot to my feet.  “Get up,” I ordered. 

He grinned.  “No.”

“You really think you can make fun of my girlfriend like that and I’ll just take it?”

“I wasn’t making fun of your girlfriend, Con-man.  I was making fun of you.”   

I used my shoulder to knock him into the far wall, which was already cracked and dented from other lesser wars.   Stone didn’t push back this time though.  He calmly resettled himself on his bed and reached for his cigarette while I breathed fire four feet away. 

“You need to be quiet,” he warned mildly.  “You’ll wake our loving mother.” 

I snorted.  “Not likely.  You know when she turns the lights out she takes enough sleeping pills to knock out a horse for two days.” 

“Maybe.  But it’s possible her guest is a light sleeper.” 

That caught me off guard.  “What guest?”

“Rover.”

I didn’t like the news but there was nothing I could do about it.  My mother had always run around with various men, even when my father was still alive.  Rover, whose real name was Andy Bowler, was probably fairly harmless as men went.   He had a hangdog cartoon kind of face that led Stone to stick him with the Rover nickname.  Like much of Emblem’s workforce, he was a prison guard.  He hung around sporadically but never got in our way.  Still, that didn’t mean I wanted to know that he was lying in bed with my mother down the hall.   

Stone watched me with silent amusement.  “So, Con-Man it would seem you’re the only member of the household who didn’t get down and dirty last night.” 

I flopped back on the mattress, supremely annoyed.  “You don’t know what I did or didn’t do.” 

“Sure I do.  I’m worried about you.” 

I folded my arms over my eyes.  “Like hell.”

“I don’t like seeing my brother get neutered.” 

I took my arms away and peered at him.  It was a typical offhand Stone kind of comment but it had a serious edge.  Stone was frowning at his cigarette as it continued to burn in his hand.  He had the look of a guy who was trying to choose his words carefully.  “You guys are just so intense,” he muttered and took another drag. 

I shrugged.  “Call it love.” 

Stone raised an eyebrow.  “Is it?” 

I sat up.  I knew Stone sometimes got annoyed that I was so into Erin these days that I didn’t run around with him as much as I used to.  I also knew that he and Erin weren’t the best of friends.  But aside from the occasional sarcastic comment he’d never hinted he had a real problem with her. 

“Why don’t you like Erin?” I asked with some wariness because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.  I couldn’t imagine being pulled between my girl and my brother.  They were the two most important people in the world to me. 

Stone grimaced and scratched the back of his neck.  He started to say something and stopped, shaking his head.  “Never mind.  I don’t dislike Erin.  She’s hot and she’s nice and she worships the ever loving ground you walk on.” 

I waited to see if he would say more but he didn’t.  He just stubbed the burning cigarette out on the table and promptly lit the next one.

“Look,” I said, “I don’t really want to get another earful from Mom about making this place stink like an ashtray.” 

He tapped out a few ashes into an empty water bottle.  “You’ll get an earful from her whether it smells or doesn’t smell, whether the place is neat or clean, whether you pull A’s or F’s, whether it’s Sunday or Thursday.” 

He was right.  Our mother didn’t make a secret out of the fact that she was sick and tired of dealing with two teenage boys.  She wasn’t the worst mother in the world.  She gave us what we needed and kept a roof over our heads, but she’d always seemed bewildered by her role, forever hot and cold when it came to parenting. 

Well, more cold if I was being honest. 

It had gotten a lot worse since Elijah’s death.  Somewhere along the way she’d just kind of thrown her hands in the air and given up.  Hardly a day passed by when she didn’t let us know that after we graduated next year we were on our own.   I didn’t know if those were just words or if she really meant it, but she’d always had even less patience for me than she had for Stone.  My brother and I didn’t talk about that, not even to each other.  We didn’t talk about the gossip that hinted about things that happened before we were born.  If Elijah ever heard it as well he never let on.  He was a good father.  I missed him. 

I watched my brother as he cheerfully discovered a forgotten pack of cigarettes in a pair of discarded jeans.  Great.  That meant he’d be puffing away in here all morning, inflicting his personal philosophies on me when all I wanted to do was jerk off and take a fucking nap before I had to be at work at Carson’s Garage. 

“Come on,” I complained, “take it outside.  It’s bad enough it’s hot as an armpit in here.  I don’t feel like sitting in a smoke cloud.” 

He didn’t argue.  He opened up the bedroom window and hopped through it.   I stayed where I was for a moment, listening to him kick rocks as he wandered out to the yard.  Then I jumped up and slammed the window closed, locking it.   Stone whirled around, shouted a few obscenities and glared while I grinned and slowly extended my middle finger.  He cursed again and walked away while I reclaimed my mattress and stuck my hand down my boxers. 

I wouldn’t leave him out there for long, cursing and smoking in his underwear.  Just for a little while.   Just long enough to remind him that payback between brothers was what kept the world turning. 

I forgot about Stone as I closed my eyes and thought about lips and skin.  I thought about a girl telling me she loved me and how much I wished she was here in the room right now. With me. 

ERIN

At least twice a day it occurred to me that this was the last summer. 

Not the last summer ever, just the last free summer. 

Maybe the last good summer. 

This time next year high school will be finished and people will already be starting to go their separate ways.  The few who would be heading out of Emblem to the exotic college world would already be mentally checked out.  Those who couldn’t imagine leaving would be calling in whatever favors their folks had banked to try and get hired on at the prison or at any of the locally owned businesses lining Main Street.  If they were really intrepid they would pack up their crappy cars and head out of this dustbowl in the hopes that a better life was somewhere beyond the town limits. 

I didn’t count myself among the intrepid.  Or among the future labor force of Emblem.  My father had sacrificed a lot to save what little life insurance money had come his way so there was some left for us girls to go to college.  My grades were good and I wouldn’t have a problem getting admitted to Arizona State, or so my guidance counselor told me.  I had no idea what I was going to study when I got there but my counselor, a whisker-faced woman names Mrs. von Vechten who’d once been a friend of my mother’s, patted my arm and assured me that getting there was half the battle. 

Speaking of battles, there was one going on behind me.  I didn’t want to watch so I had drifted out of the tunnel, away from the drunken hoots and the bawdy cheers. 

A bunch of us had ended up here once the sun went down.  Whatever force of nature had knocked out Emblem’s power supply last night was apparently not easy to fix.  Fourteen hours after I’d opened my eyes in my bedroom to the sound of silence the town remained silent.  And now it was dark too, except for the prison, which operated on some kind of emergency generator.  A halo of garish fluorescence made the Central State Penitentiary look like a cruel oasis.  It was ugly to look at in the daylight.  At night it was downright ominous. 

The hangout everyone called ‘the tunnel’ was just an old railroad overpass.  The line itself hadn’t been active in decades and the single lane road that cut beneath it had been abandoned around the same time as the town’s roads were reconfigured.  My dad had once told me that before the days of asphalt this old road was lined with wooden plank boards and stretched all the way to Tucson, some seventy miles south.  He said when he was a kid you could still find a lot of the old rotted planks half buried in the desert sand. 

“Ah, you’re slipping, you’re slipping!”

“Shut up Stone!” 

“Why are you fighting it, little brother?  Just let go.  It’s okay.” 

“Fuck you.” 

There was a lot of shouting, cheering and half drunk laughter.  The Gentry brothers were fighting their latest war of wills.   They’d climbed up to the bridge and were hanging from the old tracks by the skin of their fingertips.  Some of the other boys had tried it as well but they’d already fallen into the sand, leaving only Stone, Conway, and one of the Cortez boys to fight it out to the silly, pointless end.  

I rolled my eyes at the sound of the action, but I was facing away and no one was watching me anyway. I’d been listening to the noise of those two trying to outdo one another since I was a toddler.  Since all I’d ever had were two sisters I didn’t know much about how brothers were supposed to be with each other, but it seemed like they should have outgrown juvenile nonsense like this.  Somehow I guessed that the Gentry brothers never would, no matter how old they got. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket.  I’d been careful about using it all day since there was no way to recharge at the moment. I smiled when I saw the text was from Roe. 

“Kicked Anton to the curb.  Hallelujah chorus.” 

That girl went through boyfriends like they were paper towels.  She had shitty taste.  The ones she picked were all macho pigs who treated her like she owed them money.   I was glad to hear that her latest mistake was history. 

I texted back. 
“The chorus echoes all the way down here in sandy Siberia.  Miss you.” 

The reply came back in seconds. 
“Want some company?  I could take a drive down this week.” 

“YES!  Imagine emojis galore.” 

“You know I hate emojis.  Thursday afternoon okay?”

“Perfect and you’re staying the night.  No arguments.” 

“Awesome.  Dad’s away on business and stepmonster won’t even notice.” 

I was still smiling as I pushed the phone into my back pocket.  Roe was my oldest friend, my best friend, other than Conway of course.  She moved away from Emblem after the seventh grade when her father hit the jackpot on some Phoenix real estate he’d bought up cheaply during the housing crisis.  I didn’t understand or care about the dollars and cents behind it, but I’d heard an awful lot of Emblem folks grumbling about how Jefferson Tory was no better than a bottom feeder.  It was probably just jealousy.  When I’d asked my own dad about it he’d taken a minute to chew and swallow before answering that no man should be ashamed of self-preservation.  Anyway, I sure didn’t begrudge Roe’s family their newfound wealth, but I did mind very much when they picked up and moved fifty miles away to Scottsdale.  She’d been enrolled in some kind of swank prep school up there until some recent scandal involving one of her teachers.  Whatever had happened was bad and she didn’t like talking about it.  Now that she had a car she drove down here whenever she could, but I hadn’t seen her since school let out weeks ago. 

A sudden eruption of shouting startled me, but in all the chaos I couldn’t make out what had happened.  One of the boys dangling from the bridge must have fallen.  If it was Conway he would look for me right away.  As I turned back to the sight of the eerily dark landscape I listened for the sound of his footsteps, eager to feel his strong arms around me.  

“Plotting a little world domination?”

Shit.  Stone. 

I tensed, not especially excited to be confronted in the darkness by Con’s wild brother.  “Maybe,” I shot back.  “But since I’m so dangerous you should reconsider coming too close.” 

He chuckled and lit a cigarette.  “I’ll take my chances.” 

There was no wind but a sudden chill rolled through me like a cold fingertip up the spine.  I crossed my arms over my body, a defensive pose. 

“Those will kill you,” I said. 

Stone wasn’t doing anything wrong.  He was just standing three feet away, smoking his stupid cigarette, nowhere near close enough to touch me.  Yet it made me uneasy. 
He
made me uneasy.  I shouldn’t feel that way.  I’d known him my whole life.  Never for a minute did I believe he’d hurt me.  But he seemed dangerous just the same. 

He laughed through his nose and I could see enough of his outline to catch the scornful shrug. “Something will kill us all.”  

I tossed my hair, sniffed.  “Doesn’t excuse self destruction.” 

God, listen to me. I was such a hypocrite. 
Such a fucking hypocrite!
  Stone didn’t know that though.  Conway didn’t even know. 

He was quiet for a moment.  Then I saw the point of light from the cigarette fall from his hands to the ground.  I heard the crunch that his shoe made in the dust as he squashed the flame. 

“You’re right,” he said. “I quit.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” 

I didn’t believe him at all.  I still didn’t know what he wanted.  Stone didn’t usually seek me out for a chat.  Generally Con’s brother and I exercised a sort of mutual wary tolerance.  It wasn’t friendship, not even close.

“You doubt me,” he said.  It wasn’t a question.

“Of course.  You can be a real walking dick.” 

He snorted.  “That’s a ridiculous insult, Erin.  Dicks don’t have legs.” 

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t.” 

I whirled on him.  “That must be why your eyes were fastened to my chest this morning.”

As soon as I said it I wished I hadn’t. After all, hadn’t I also zeroed in on his crotch as he stretched in the yard? He’d seen me staring.  Stone knew everything about girls and my quick flash of shameful lust probably wasn’t lost on him. 

He laughed out loud.  “So that’s what this latest bug up the ass is about?  No worries, honey.  That’s not a line I’d ever cross, but if you stick your tits out the window a guy’s kind of obliged to check them out.” 

I would ignore him.  That was the only way to deal with Stone.  He loved attention more than he loved anything else.  But my mouth wasn’t listening. 

“You’re such a pig,” I spat. 

“So be it.  Pigs are loveable creatures.” 

I just hissed and took a few deliberate steps away from him.  That should be enough to send him in the other direction. 

But instead of giving up and walking back to the group to answer Courtney’s whiney complaints that he should come back over there and pay some attention to her, he decided to get on my nerves some more. 

“You
do
like pigs, don’t you, Erin?”

“Only when they’re on my plate.  Preferably in the form of bacon.” 

“Ah.  You wounded me.”  I could hear the smile in his voice.  He wasn’t wounded.  He sniffed theatrically and let the mockery drip from every word.  

“Like hell,” I snapped. 

“You did.” 

“Okay.”  I spun around.  “How did I wound you Stone?  How is that even possible?”

He pretended to pout.  “You don’t like me.” 

“You don’t like me either.” 

“Yes I do,” he said quietly. “You’re just fine.” 

I exhaled with exasperation.  “Well, maybe you’re not.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’ve never seen you be anything but selfish. You don’t hesitate to drag other people down with you.  You don’t even notice when they suffer for it.” 

He sounded genuinely amused.  “What people?”

I felt my face getting hot.  If Conway heard this conversation he wouldn’t like it.  But I couldn’t seem to close my mouth.  “Like that time you got Con to go along with breaking into the school to steal all the teachers’ chairs and throw them into the town pool.”

He laughed.  “Ah, yes.  Tenth grade was fun.” 

“Fun?  Conway got suspended for three days.”

“So did I.  And it
was
fun.  We used the time off well, a marathon gaming session of Deadly Combat.  I won.” 

I made a noise of disgust. “Vintage Stone Gentry.  Never ever thinking of anyone but yourself.  Why can’t you at least give him a chance?”

“Conway?  A chance for what?”

“Something better.  He’ll never have it if he’s always trying to keep up with you.” 

Stone slapped his pack of cigarettes against his palm.  “That what you think?  You imagine that I’m some kind of anti-Christ who you have to rescue Conway from?  Conway,
my
brother.  Jesus, all these years you’ve known me and you really think I don’t give a damn about anything.” 

“I think you only give a damn about your next piece of ass,” I shot back.  My voice had risen and I paused, swallowing, before continuing in a lower tone.  “I think you care about getting drunk and screwing around and forever avoiding anything that looks like work.  As for Conway, I think you don’t want him to do any better than you.  You don’t want him to have anything you don’t have.” 

Always in my mind, but never had the words come out of my mouth.  For two years Stone and I had stayed at a tense distance.  I braced myself for what would come firing out of his mouth.  He would say that I held Con back, that I stood in the way of Con’s fun.  After all, Stone had rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath often enough in my presence for me to understand that was how he felt.  He didn’t believe in girlfriends or loyalty.  He certainly didn’t believe in love. 

Stone surprised me though.  He didn’t return the insults.   He crept two silent steps closer and stood so closely I had to crane my neck to look up at him.  In the dark he was just an outline.  One that smelled of smoke and peppermint and the same aftershave his brother used. 

“You’re wrong,” he said curtly and then stalked away.  

I didn’t realize I’d been holding a breath until I exhaled and heard my heart pounding. 

Suddenly I felt bad. Stone wasn’t exactly sensitive.  But I had the uncomfortable feeling that I’d hurt him a little.  I’d gone too far.  Sure, Stone had faults but who the hell was I to challenge him over how he felt about his own brother?  If someone had said something like that to me about my sisters I’d be ready to claw their eyes out. 

A whole mess of shouting and backslapping erupted at the tunnel. 

“How’s that dust taste, asshole?  Gentry wins!” 

When the noise died down I heard Con’s voice say my name but something cemented me to the ground I was standing on.   Inside my head I heard myself calling out to him, running over and leaping into his arms.   It was what I wanted.  Yet still I stood there. 

“Erin?” Conway asked and he was closer.  I could hear the worry in his voice.  Even in the best of times it was never wise to go wandering around in the desert if you didn’t know what you were doing, where you were going.  This was an unforgiving place, filled with unforgiving creatures.