Crag (12 page)

“I do want to make love, but not with someone else, and not with you at this moment. Do you think the only reason I ever came to you was to bed you?”

“You’re a man.”

His teeth clenched visibly and he shook his head. He silently took the rabbit and began skinning it as she prepared a spit on which to cook it.

“What are you doing out here, anyway?” she asked.

“One of the villagers told me about the crossroads. It seemed a good place to think.”

“About becoming a Knight?” she ventured.

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Isn’t it a terrible waste?” she continued softly. “You went through all that work. You learned so much, and now… ”

“Now what? I can step into a pretty black uniform and do it all over again for the rest of my life? Knights are just men, yet people look at us like we can perform miracles of healing and fighting.”

“Is that what you thought?”

“Isn’t it what you thought?”

She smiled sadly and nodded. “Yes. At first I guess I was expecting miracles from you. Instead I got understanding, protection. I got hope.”

“Hope.” He dropped the rabbit into the pan and gathered the scraps. Lily followed him to the woods as he buried the useless pieces and stooped by the brook, scrubbing his hands.

“You did give me hope. Especially you.”

“Stop it,” he said.

“Why?”

“
Vina’s
dead.”

“People die every day. I miss her, but you did all you could.”

“You don’t understand, do you?” he said. “No matter what I do, so often it’s not enough.”

“You’re a healer, not a God.” She narrowed her eyes, wondering exactly what he was trying to express, what he felt. She wondered what she could tell him to make him change his mind about the hasty decision he’d made.

“People want us to be, but we’re not! I thought I was used to the expression in a person’s eyes when I’d say his wife or child is dead. I honestly thought I didn’t care anymore. This war is over, but I’ll only be sent someplace else where this hell will repeat itself. I’ve been frozen for two years, Lily. Before that, I wasn’t even alive. I was a creature of death. Kill and conquer. There were absolutely no feelings attached to that life. Suddenly I can feel again, and I hate it.”

“I know,” she told him. “When
Vina
first died, I felt numb. As days passed, I thought about her more, but since feeling her loss, I somehow believe I can go on and have a life. You showed me that. When we made love, Crag, you proved to me I can still enjoy life.”

“
Vina’s
loss was the worst,” he whispered. Lily knew he hadn’t heard what she’d said. He stared straight ahead, as if in a trance, reliving the horrors he’d seen all over again. “I feel like I failed her, failed you. She had no life. No life at all.”

He dropped onto the rock-and-root strewn dirt and covered his face with his hands.

Sitting beside him, she drew him into her arms. He clung to her, his face buried in her shoulder, his tears soaking her dress. She rubbed his back and threaded her fingers through his hair. She wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but she didn’t feel the need to cry herself. Somehow comforting him gave her strength. It made her feel like she was still worthwhile to someone, especially this man who had seemed so completely in control of himself, who had been the symbol of strength to everyone in the settlement.

Finally his sobbing stopped, but they remained locked in each other’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be.” She sat back and brushed dampness from his hot cheeks. The whites of his eyes were tinged red, somehow making his eyes seem bluer. “You’re just a person, Crag, but you’ve done so much good for so many. Don’t forget that.”

He hugged her before stooping by the lake and splashing his face with cold water.

“I’ll go cook dinner,” she said, leaving him to wash up.

Since it was nearly dark, Lily hurried to build the fire then placed the rabbit on the spit to cook.

As she sat watching the flames, Crag joined her. He’d gained control of himself again, and to her surprise, he smiled.

“Thank you,” he said. “No one’s ever… Thank you.”

“It’s been a rough time for everyone.”

“What are you going to do, Lily?”

“I’m not sure. I might continue training as a midwife. Blaze said I should go to
Travelle
.” She glanced at him, her heart pounding. She’d already rejected his courtship, but would he ask again? If he didn’t, could she ask him to reconsider?

“I hope you do.” He reached for her hand. “That way we’ll get to see a lot of each other.”

She smiled, meeting his eyes. “You’re going to be a Knight?”

He nodded. “I… guess I had to get out what I felt. I didn’t know how to express it. Now that it’s said, I know I can continue. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He took her face in his hands, and this time he didn’t speak of a kiss – he acted. His mouth covered hers, his lips soft and his beard rough. She closed her eyes as his hands moved from her face to her neck, then down her back. Her arms slipped around his neck, her heartbeat quickening as her breasts pressed to his hard chest.

Her mouth opened to his gently probing tongue, her own tongue meeting it with soft, affectionate strokes. Her fingers sifted through his silky curls, and she felt like liquid in his arms. Never in her life had she felt such heat from a kiss, such tenderness. She’d loved her husband, but she’d never lusted after him. Crag was altogether different. Lily wanted to feel every inch of his tall, strong body against hers. She wanted to taste every bit of his flesh. She wanted his lips on her body. She wanted to feel him deep inside her, their bodies so close that they became one being.

His lips moved to her cheek and neck. He kissed her forehead and traced the shape of her lips with his thumb as he whispered, “Lily, listen to what I have to say this time. I love you. I think I have for a very long time.”

“I love you, too.” Admitting it felt strange, but it was love she felt for Crag. She wasn’t exactly sure when she’d begun loving him. Maybe she had from the first, but had been too preoccupied with things more important than her own happiness.

“The moment you walked into
Tanek
, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” he murmured against her lips.

She laughed. “I was a mess. I’d just walked twenty miles in the middle of winter.”

“I don’t care. I thought you were beautiful. I was almost glad to be so busy because whenever I had a second to think about you, all I could imagine was making love with you, and when we did, I thought the pleasure of it would kill me.”

“Crag!” she giggled.

“It’s true.” He cupped her cheek in his hand and stared into her eyes. “Do you want to marry me? When we return to
Travelle
, after I’m dubbed?”

“You really want me to marry you?”

“More than I want anything… even Knighthood.”

Her heart raced, giddiness nearly overwhelming her. She never imagined she could feel such happiness again. All her foolish doubts about spending the rest of her life with a
Zaltanian
vanished. Crag was no longer a
Zaltanian
to her, but the man she loved. “Yes,” she smiled, “I want to marry you.”

“Ah, Lily.” He crushed her to his chest, his lips caressing her hair. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Crag.”

They slipped apart only long enough to eat. Lily felt giddy as a young girl as she playfully fed Crag pieces of meat with her fingertips. He nipped and licked her fingers and palms, paying more attention to her than he did his meal.

The night was very warm and the full moon brightened the path to the brook where they decided to enjoy a swim. Lily’s heart pounded with anticipation as she watched him undress. Even when they’d made love, they’d never had time to fully undress. She’d dreamed of seeing Crag’s body, and when his baggy tunic and trousers fell away, leaving him in only a loincloth, she couldn't tear her eyes from him. His tall frame was very lean and lanky, his muscles hard and defined in spite of his slimness. His shoulders and chest were broad, the bones of his forearms and wrists thick. Sparse, dark hair dusted his chest and sleekly-muscled legs. He had the body of a warrior. His cock bulged against the loincloth, and when she reached out to stroke it, he caught her wrist.

“Your turn.” He nodded to her dress. “I’ve been dying to see you naked.”

His words made Lily’s stomach clench, and her hands trembled a bit as she undressed. What would he think of her? Would her nude body please him as much as his pleased her? Her dress pooled at her feet, and she stepped out of it, leaving only a transparent shift.

Though she wasn’t a tall woman, Lily’s breasts were full and firm, her waist narrow, and her legs strong. Glancing down, she noticed her pink nipples pressing through the thin shift. She turned to the water, but Crag caught her upper arm and dragged her to him for a kiss.

“You’re so lovely,” he said, his hands stroking her bare shoulders. “I could never have dreamed of a more beautiful woman.”

“Or I a more handsome man.” She looped her arms around his neck. He smiled, apparently pleased by her words.

They slipped into the brook and engaged in a playful water fight which ended with him pulling her into his arms and kissing her until she nearly lost her breath.

“Stop!” she gasped, laughing. “Oh please!”

“I’ll make you beg me for something else.” He caught her in his arms and stood, walking to the shore. He carried her to the camp and stretched out on the blankets close to the fire. Looming above her, Crag stroked damp hair from her face and kissed her temple and cheek before covering her mouth with his.

It felt good to have her naked breasts pressed against his bare chest. The hard muscles were scattered with soft, curling hair that teased her nipples. As his lips and tongue moved to her neck, she clutched his back, enjoying the warmth of his flesh and the smooth, hard muscles beneath her grip.

Crag slipped down her body, his mouth caressing her breasts over and again, as if he couldn’t taste enough of the warm globes and pebble-hard nipples. Lily writhed, entwining her legs with his. She rubbed her pelvis against his side and tugged at his hair.

“Demanding little wench, aren’t you?” Crag’s deep voice rumbled in his chest as he tugged her hands from his hair and positioned himself between her parted thighs. His tongue slid into her pussy and swirled. Fastening his mouth on her clit, he grasped her buttocks and squeezed gently. Lily moaned, threading her fingers back into his hair. One of his fingers probed the soft, sensitive skin between her bottom cheeks as he continued licking her swollen little nub.

Lily thrust her pelvis upward, and he held her fast, tugging with his lips, licking, and teasing until she exploded in a mind-shattering climax. He continued licking her damp folds of flesh, forcing her toward another orgasm almost before she recovered from the first.

“Crag, oh, Crag!” she gasped, her body shaking and writhing in another ecstatic peak.

She felt him slide up her body and slip inside her hot, throbbing pussy. She clung to him with all her strength as he thrust long and slow until she climaxed again.

“Oh, Lily, I love you,” he panted against her lips before kissing her, his thrusts short and fast. Lily clutched his shoulders, her legs tightening around his waist, holding him as close as she could while her body met his thrust for thrust.

Crag tore his mouth from hers and cried out in ecstasy before collapsing on top of her. For several moments they lay, catching their breath and enjoying the feeling of lying in each others arms.

Crag rolled onto his back and Lily rested her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. She traced a long, thick scar across his ribs. “Did you get this during the war?”

He nodded. “Remember how I told you I was fighting in a village and the Ruby Order drove out the
Zaltanian
troop? I was seriously wounded. I would have died had it not been for one of the Knights. He saved my life.”

“I’m so glad he did.”

Crag’s arm tightened around her and he kissed her hair. “What bothers me is I never knew his name. I don’t even know if he’s still alive. He might have been killed during one of the battles.”

“Maybe when you go to
Travelle
, you’ll find him.”

“Maybe.” Crag sighed as she lowered her face and kissed the scar. Her lips traveled over his chest and taut abdomen. His fingers threaded through her hair, and she slid on top of him, their mouths devouring one another’s. Her knee brushed his cock, and to her surprise, it was already hard again.

Lily smiled and gripped his erection, pumping it and feeling it swell even more in her grasp. “How did a man with your appetite ever endure vows of celibacy?”

“It was fairly easy, until I met you.”

“Really?”

He sighed, his eyes slipping shut as her hand moved faster along his shaft while her other squeezed his balls. “Most of the time I was too tired to think about it, but you’re beautiful enough to defy exhaustion.”