Convicted (34 page)

You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

―Marcus Aurelius

Claire’s eyes were accustomed to the darkness. Turning towards the sound, towards the open doors to the lanai, she saw Tony’s silhouette. Again, their words came in unison, “I’m sorry.”

They both stepped forward, and when their bodies touched, the pressure which had been building evaporated into a sweet release. The tension he sensed on the beach was gone; Claire’s body was liquid in his hands—molding and conforming to his. Their lips united as a different tightness began to build deep within.

Claire was his—he was hers. It had been that way since before she even knew him—or knew of him. She could fight that revelation,
but why? It wasn’t debatable; she couldn’t rewrite history. She didn’t want to
—
it all worked to put them where they were right now.
Besides, every fiber of her being ached for his touch. Her body wanted him—that was undeniable. Each one of his caresses was but a tease, arousing sparks that only he could ignite into flames. The desire was obviously mutual as he pulled her closer. They didn’t say words, yet they both understood the meaning of their sounds. Heavy breaths and moans echoed through their cavernous room out to the sea.

With their sandy clothes lost somewhere on their bedroom floor, their fervent passion led them to the large bed. Though the soft hum of the ceiling fan whirled above their naked bodies, the heat they felt couldn’t be cooled. Claire’s lips suckled his broad shoulder as his skillful hands roamed the familiar and new curves of her figure. His touch stirred her desires, making her plead for more.

Though faint moonlight cloaked the room in shadows, Tony could see Claire’s sleeping mask on her bedside stand. It was black satin, and helped to keep the morning sunlight away while she slept. Reaching for the mask, Tony held it in Claire’s line of vision and asked, “Do you trust me?”

Seeing the mask and his devilish grin, Claire’s heart began to beat erratically. Yes, she put the mask on herself before she fell asleep; however, it was never something they’d done for fun. Her mind raced back to a room with a lock that beeped. There was a time—long ago, in the beginning—when there were blindfolds and restraints, but she never considered any of that fun. “No,” her small hands pushed against his chest. “No!” She wasn’t seeing the man on top of her—she was seeing the man from those memories. “I don’t want to wear that—please—please don’t make me.”

Perhaps he made a sound; Claire wasn’t sure. Something made her eyes open, and suddenly, she saw the man who was truly there. In his eyes she again saw pain. “Oh, Tony”—her arms surrounded his neck—“I do trust you. I just don’t want to wear that.” Her heart broke as he nodded and rolled off of her, onto his pillow. Lifting her head to look at him, Claire started to apologize, but before she could speak, he placed his finger on her lips.

Never could she have predicted her ex-husband’s next move. Claire Nichols would never have imagined Anthony Rawlings placing such a high bet as to wager himself, yet that’s what he did. Lifting his head to gently kiss her lips, he whispered, “I trust you.” Then he covered his own eyes with her satin mask. As absurd as he looked with the black satin ruffles around the sides, she’d never been so honored.
He was hers!
That was what he’d tried to tell her on the beach. Yes, the whole idea of him watching her over the years was creepy, but that wasn’t what he’d tried to convey. Seeing him lay still with his eyes blinded to her every move, Claire understood—she had him—his heart—his soul—and his body. They were hers to do with what she wanted.

Easing herself to her knees, she allowed her lips to brush his neck. His growls encouraged and the stubbles abraded. Claire loved every sensation and every minute. Next, she moved to his chest where her hands caressed his muscles as her fingers wove through his chest hair. When she licked and sucked a nipple, his arms encircled her.

Within this new paradigm, Claire was empowered. Sitting up, she pushed his arms back to the mattress and said, “No.” His grin from below the satin melted her. She was afraid she wouldn’t be able to do all the things she imagined; her body was on a precipice, and at any moment, she’d be lost in earthshaking bliss.

It wasn’t like anything they’d ever experienced, nor was it how Claire always wanted it to be; nevertheless, on this one night—it was perfect. After Claire’s world exploded and Tony’s did too, she collapsed against his chest and fought to breathe. Finally, she lifted her head and removed the satin blindfold. The spark within the chocolate bliss made her reconsider her desire for sleep.

Tony’s grin infiltrated his words, “Since you removed the blindfold, does that mean I can now hold you?”

“Oh yes, Mr. Rawlings, please do.”

Although nothing about their recent history seemed wrong, it didn’t take him long to right their world. Turning Claire, he gently laid her upon the bed and fanned her hair on her pillow. “Just so you know”—he whispered in a deep raspy voice—“your hair sweeping over my face and chest when I couldn’t see it—was incredibly erotic.”

Claire giggled. “Well, that’s good to know. I’ll remember that for next time.”

His brow cocked upward. “Next time?”

She nodded.

Tony shrugged. “Well, my dear, they do say variety is the spice of life.”

Claire ran her finger over his pink lips. Before she could remove it, Tony sucked the tip into his mouth. Pressing her breasts upward, her eyes fluttered shut and she purred, “As long as that variety is with me, I think I might be willing.”

Nearing his lips to her ear, Tony whispered, “Only you—it’s only been you for a very long time.”

Before going to sleep, they decided to go for a late night swim. Although they wore robes to the pool, they didn’t bother with bathing suits. With the water near the same temperature as the humid air, the only difference was the degree of moisture as they became submerged. Tony disappeared under the water and swam the length of the infinity pool and back. Claire giggled as he came out of the water right in front of her. Taking her hands, he led her out to the deeper end.
Holding his shoulders, she wrapped her legs around his torso and gazed up at the stars.

Tony kissed her neck. “What are you thinking about?”

Claire shrugged. “A lot of things—our baby, our friends, and my family.”

“It’s all right to miss them.”

“I’ve been away from them before, but this time, it’s different. This time, I feel like I’ve betrayed them. I’m the one who left without telling anyone.”

“What do you think would happen if they knew the truth?”

Claire contemplated. “They might be in danger? At this point, I wouldn’t put anything past Catherine.”

Tony nodded. “By keeping them ignorant, we’re protecting them.”

Laying her head against his shoulder, Claire ran her hand over his arm.

Tony reached for her left hand and looked at the diamond on her finger. “You know that this ring gave me hope and broke my heart at the same time?”

Claire raised her eyebrows.

“When the police found your belongings in that motel in Illinois and this ring wasn’t with them, I wanted to believe you were all right, that you were making your own decisions, and you weren’t in the hands of some crazy stalker, but then I realized, if that were true, then it meant you’d left me. It meant you didn’t want to be with me and you’d never return.”

She freed her hand and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. “I’m so sorry. I was scared and misled.” She kissed his cheek while her fingers ran through his hair. “I should’ve spoken with you.” She buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I couldn’t leave the ring. I’d promised to keep it. I just couldn’t leave it.” Tears teetered on her lids.

He gently pushed her away and gazed into her eyes. “Claire, what’s the matter?”

She smiled behind the tears. “I think it’s the hormones—sometimes I just cry.”

Tony smiled and hugged her tightly. “Just today, someone mentioned something about that.”

“Today? Who?”

“It was Francis. I know I’ve only been here a few days, but I think he and Madeline are great people. This island wouldn’t be the same without them.”

Claire nodded into his shoulder as she tried to suppress a yawn. “I agree.”

Carrying Claire, Tony walked slowly toward the steps. “I think you need to get some sleep.”

When they reached the steps, Claire let go of his neck. “I’m getting too fat for you to carry me out of the water.”

“No, Ms. Nichols—you’re not fat; however, I agree. I’d never forgive myself if my wet feet slipped and I hurt you or our son.”

Claire looked back to Tony. “Son?”

He shrugged. “Or daughter—I really don’t care.”

Taking his hand, Claire said, “While we were apart, I prayed for a boy. I wanted him to be just like you.”

“Like me?”—he shook his head—“I know you’re smarter than that.”

As they reentered their suite, Claire said, “Well, the Nichols had only girls—at least, the last generation, and it seems the Rawls had only boys...so soon, we’ll learn which family dominates.”

Tony kissed her neck. “Sweetheart, the man determines the sex.”

Her eyes twinkled. “Not tonight—he didn’t.”

“If you’re up for round two, I’m pretty sure we could even the score.”

“I think I’m going to wash the chlorine out of my hair. If it’s not too dominating of a suggestion, as you already know the shower is quite large, you may join me?”

Tony smirked. “Are you suggesting water conservation? I mean, I’m all for conserving resources.”

Later that night with the score one to one, Claire fell sound to sleep, listening to the soothing rhythm of Tony’s heartbeat. Fleetingly, she thought about Tony’s revelation. It was only the beginning, and they both knew there was much more to discuss. Their conversations in the past and in the future always had one rule—honesty. Tony had followed that rule—and in essence, so had Claire. If she’d pretended his statement didn’t bother her, then she wouldn’t have been honest. Her last thought as she drifted away was of Tony’s warning. Claire decided he was right—the truth could be better handled in small manageable pieces. It was like her old way of dealing—compartmentalization. The difference was—instead of hiding the secrets in the compartments—this time, they were bringing them out.

When Claire woke in the morning, her world was still dark. As her eyelids fluttered and her lashes grazed the satin, she realized the darkness was her sleeping mask. Claire removed it from her eyes and reached toward Tony’s empty place in bed. It was already after 9:00 AM, and he was gone, probably off somewhere exploring the island or with Francis. Thankful for the extra sleep the mask brought, Claire thought pensively about the night before, and warm memories filled her thoughts. When she thought about falling asleep, she realized that she hadn’t been wearing the sleep mask. Shaking her head ever so slightly, a smile came to her lips.
That’s another point for Tony!
Perhaps soon she could even that score.

“I understand, sir,” Agent Baldwin said into his phone.

“Yes, Deputy Director, I’ll be back in San Francisco tomorrow evening.”

“Thank you, goodbye.”

Harry hit the
DISCONNECT
button and collapsed into the hotel chair. The conversation wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined. Although
he’d
lost track of both Claire and Rawlings, through the use of digital face recognition, they’d been identified at different times at airports in Papau, New Guinea. Claire was identified at the Baimuru Airport, whereas Rawlings was identified at the Daru Airport.

It’s believed they are staying somewhere in the South Pacific—recognizably, this was a broad generalization. The area in question contained thousands of islands of varying sizes. Many of the island nations in this region rely heavily on tourism and have been known to be very welcoming and accommodating to wealthy residents. As a rule—questions were rarely asked.

Since they were no longer in Europe, Agent Baldwin was ordered to return to the field office in San Francisco. Although he didn’t mention it on the phone call, Harry vowed to share his research with SAC Williams or anyone who’d listen. He needed FBI resources to request blood samples from Simon Johnson and Jordon Nichols. Harry wasn’t even sure whether the samples would be available. If nothing else, he wanted to access the toxicology reports that were available.

If he couldn’t locate Claire and Rawlings, then his research would be his number one priority. Writing a note, Harry pondered,
does the presence of actaea pachypodac create any unusual markers visible during toxicology screenings
? Since most agencies don’t routinely test for it, maybe there was something else that could identify its presence. The fact it affected the heart—creating heart attack-like symptoms was too broad.