Consume Me (A Burning Desire Novel) (39 page)

“I just don’t understand her, she keeps
coming back to me, even when I try to avoid her, she bursts back into my life
and I can't seem to control myself."

He confessed, clearly disappointed in his
lack of control.

"That happens, but, I think it's time
to really press your resolve. Confront her with what you want, once and for
all, and if she doesn't want to get invested, then shut the door once and
forever."

He kept nodding, assessing my every word.

"I suggest you start tonight, ask
her, and if it works; then good for you, if not, well I have a few gorgeous
girlfriend that would probably kill for a date with you."

I smiled sheepishly at him.

His grin flashed.

"Sure, why not, let's try it your
way. After all, you managed the impossible and tamed my brother in record
time."

It was my turn to be shocked and grin.

"I didn't tame anyone. Now go and
take your life back. I'm here if you need me."

"Sure you haven't."

Simon gave me a knowing wink; his eyes
gleamed with affection. It warmed my heart.

"Thank you Clea. I didn’t expect this
but I needed it; preferably from someone with a different vision, as you know,
she exasperates my father, and my brother just ignores her."

"Anytime.”

The
party seemed to be going well, the conversation flowing around along with the
music. I noticed Calvin smiling broadly while talking on the phone and thought
he was probably talking to Alison. It must’ve been difficult for them to be
apart for so long and so often. Landon never went anywhere without him, he was
the one driving the limo back in Paris. It was a shame; he knew the city like
the back of his hand, while his girlfriend dreamed about visiting it.

I mingled around the party and looked for
Jude. I darted across the room to their table. They were tied in fits of
laughter with Mia and Faith.

"Hey boo, you need to hear this.
Those two are insane."

Ryan said between giggles.

"Yeah, so I was telling them about
this guy, Faith and I tried to have a threesome with."

Mia started with her Boston accent.

"Oh my god you guys, keep it down and
tell me all about it."

I sat on Jude’s lap and leaned in.

"So, we were drunk at Tony’s, and
this guy kept flirting with us; asking us about blow jobs, and how deep we
could take it. At first we thought he was all about foreplay, you know, dirty
talk and stuff like that." She glanced around.

"So we go to his house, and have some
more drinks, then we start playing around, getting him hard. He started
stripping for us, and guys, you'll never believe this."

She glanced around her once more then
leaned back,

"He was huge,
full-on-anaconda-huge."

She signaled at least nine inches with her
hands

Faith kept nodding in disgust, and we all
laughed.

"I choked just looking at it, let
alone let it anyway near any of our precious cherries."

Jude bursted into a loud laughter, turning
everybody's attention to us.

"So what did you do?"

I asked curious and amused.

"What do you think we did? Faith
fainted and he called us a cab."

We all doubled over in laughter, imagining
the whole scene.

"I was drunk, you guys."

Faith whined.

"And you shouldn't judge, it was
scary big and he wasn't even fully erect. Poor guy."

She tut, pitying him.

"I'm sorry girls; I know how much you
wanted to bone a guy together."

 Ryan was stifling a laugh.

"Hey boo; I signed us up for a duet
for karaoke."

Jude announced cheerily.

"There's karaoke?"

"Yep, if you want a song on your own,
go, and ask the guys to prepare it, they might need to download tabs or
something."

I searched my head for a song that I'd
like to sing, and glanced at my beautiful man standing with Eloise and Jason.

I thought about the perfect one, it was
also a promise I wanted to attain.

"What did you choose for us?"

I asked Jude and he winked at me; witch
told me that he chose one of our favorite, it was practical with live
musicians, and we rarely found it with classic karaoke.

"Which one? Ross Cooperman? “

I asked.

“You know it!"

“Not too sad for the occasion?"

Ryan prompted.

"You know there's no such thing, it's
our favorite song, our private song and Jude sounds great singing it." I
explained."

I
walked to the counter and made a plate for myself. I was starving and didn't
want to interrupt Landon. I looked around; there were no sign of Simon and
Evelyn. I carried my plate and spent some time with my colleagues, trying to
give enough attention to everyone at the party, they were all my friends, and
Landon's family.

It could’ve been considered a small party,
with close friends and family. I was comfortable enough to talk, and laugh
around.

We talked a little about work, and next
week's schedule.

Liam's latest conquest sounded worse than
the microwave novice.

Glancing at my man, I’d noticed he was
searching for someone with his eyes. He was probably looking for me, I wanted him
so much, and he looked gorgeous, yummy, and so freakin’ hot.

So when he was stopped in his path by
Jenna, I decided to play a little.

I took my phone out and typed a text:

Hi, baby :)

He got his phone out of his pocket and smiled
at the screen, then typed something.

Hi yourself, are you
hiding from me? :(

I answered quickly avoiding his gaze, he
was looking around, and I was hiding at the end of the stairway, glancing at
him from behind.

Nope, I just wanted to
tell you that you look stunning, and I'm naked under my dress... Also a little
wet.

He quickened his pace, looking around for
me, and typed something else.

Fuck me.

It made me laugh; I loved that I could
affect him this way.

No, fuck ME.

I walked towards him, all flustered and
wanton. He made me feel like that, all the time. But looking the way he did
tonight, the party, the attention, and the massage. I was out of my mind about
him. I walked up to him purposefully, once he saw me, his eyes traveled all over
my body, full of promise and peril.

As I was approaching him, he was stopped
by one of the musicians. I stood quietly beside him.

"Mr. Davis, we arranged your guitar;
do you have any other requests?"

 The handsome tattooed guy asked him
and I raised my brows in surprise.

"You're going to sing?"

I asked bewildered and amused by the idea.

He just winked at me and turned to the
other man.

 "No that would be all, thank
you Leo."

He nodded.

“Let me just tell you; that is the most killer
guitar. It’s a custom Breedlove; isn’t it?”

“It is; thank you Leo.”

Leo excused himself and went back to the
others, and it reminded me that I didn't get a chance to ask for the other
song.

"What are you singing?”

My curiosity was fully peaked.

"You'll see."

He grabbed my arm and led me back inside
snatching a glass of scotch from the passing waiter.

“Now let's go upstairs, I need to fuck
you."

"Good, I need to be fucked."

"Jesus Christ, Clea."

He tightened his grip and quickened his
pace.

“Wait, I need to ask for a song."

“Later." He kept dragging me.

Jenna was chatting with Liam, and I ceased
the occasion to ask her.

"Jenna!"

She turned her attention to me and frowned
at the cave dweller embroiling me behind him.

He stopped when she stood in front of us
and I whispered my request in her ear, and reassured her.

"Now let's go fuck me."

I teased him.

I came to an abrupt halt and someone
coming behind me bumped into me. I could barely manage an apology; I was too
busy visually devouring the man I loved, his eyes all sinful and proud about
what he just did to me upstairs in his majestic bedroom closet, of all places.
His gaze never left mine, reminding me of the past intense twenty minutes.

He was talking with Evelyn and seemingly
disinterested about what she was saying. The way he stood drew attention to his
broad shoulders and trim waistline.

Jeez;
I loved that man; and knew him intimately. Better yet, I
belonged to him, body, and soul.

I was overwhelmed
by all the feelings and decided that I needed a drink to capitulate my
thoughts. I turned to walk back to the bar and stumbled head first into a hard
chest; I hadn’t noticed someone was standing so close behind me. I put my hand
out and whispered an apology.

The smell of a far too appealing and
familiar scent hit me and sent me back to some very bad memories.

"Happy birthday, kitten."

His voice made my whole body tense and
weak at the same time.

He brought his hands over mine and I
froze; unable to do anything. I hated the feel of his callused fingers; I
wanted to shove them off.

They made me feel filthy.

It took me back to that god-awful-night,
and everything that he did to me, to his wife and his innocent unborn child. My
muscle reacted without my consent shooting me two steps back; I slammed into
someone behind me.

"Get out!"

The words were crossing my mind, but they
came out with Jude's scold.

"Well, well, if it isn't Miss Dane’s
knight in his shiny armor."

His smirking tone was nauseating.

"What are you doing here Caden?"

I finally managed to talk past my lump,
ignoring the prickles he provoked.

He tried to gaze into my eyes, but
whenever I gathered my courage to look at him, the pit of my stomach turned to
ice.

"I believe I was invited to celebrate
with you Kitten."

He chanted sardonically, and it was all it
took for Jude to budge in.

I quickly turned to him, silently begging
him to let me handle it quietly. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms
around his chest signaling to me that he wasn't going to leave my side.

"Listen, Caden."

I said calmly, praying desperately that
the way we were standing would suggest we were just chatting along like
everybody else.

"I have no idea what happened, the
fact that you could get inside this building alone means that you were indeed
invited, but trust me, you weren't meant to be. So please, leave."

I had no idea where I found the courage to
maintain my attitude, but I suspected that it was fueled by Landon's presence
and my hope that he won't notice any of that.

I fell silent, watching Caden's reaction,
something darkly sadistic traveled across his eyes that made the hairs on the
back of my neck prickle violently.

"Come on now, Kitten, you know how I
love birthdays."

He said with a wink, reminding me once
again of that night.

I hated that damned word.

"Stop calling me that."

I whispered with despise.

I couldn't believe that, at some point in
my life, I had any kind of feelings towards him.

"Oh, I love it when you show your
claws."

He twisted his mouth in a hateful smirk.

"Enough!"

Jude put his hand around my arm and stood
between Caden and me.

"Either you leave right now, or we'll
have you escorted by the police. Remember the restraining order?"

I couldn't see Jude's face, but I could
feel the defying threat in his tone.

I forgot all about the restraining order,
and it hit me that Jenna might've sent him an invitation from my contact list
without giving it much attention.

Caden shot my friend a filthy look, then
his expression sobered for a second before he put on his sarcastic grin and
raised his hands in defeat.

"I surrender."

He took a menacing step forward.

"But just this once."

He said past Jude; staring into my eyes.

"There won't be a next time."

I prompted under my breath, only to avoid
any more attention.

"We'll see about that, Kit-ten."

Caden accentuated the syllables only to
make me squirm in disgust.

"We will."

Jude finished, directing Caden to the
door.

I stood
there, all my thoughts scrambled; I was unable to give any coherent order to
them. I haven't seen Caden for almost five months, and I thought I wouldn’t
ever have to see him.

I forgot how mean and despiteful he could
be, especially towards Jude. Ever since they’d met each other, they were at each
other’s throat. Caden tried to convince me that Jude was jealous and probably
in love with me. I thought the idea was pure ridiculousness, and laughed at it.
Jude always commented that I deserved better, but, at the time, I was blinded
by the appeal of dating an attractive smart professor.

I
looked around me; the party seemed to be going well, as if nothing of that just
took place had happened. Nobody seemed to have noticed anything and I was
grateful for it. I could hear Mia and Faith singing ‘
It’s raining men’
and it made me smile.

I walked to the bathroom to check on my
state before walking back to the terrace.

The space was a genuine work of art.
Landon's fondness of art transpired in every inch of his household, the decor
had a very subtle panacea of minimalism and Italian Renaissance.

The space was all glass sink and tub while
the granite inspired another era. It was very relaxing and, refreshing.

Floating vases showed the beauty of
minimalism, at first glance, there seemed to be nothing supporting the flowers
at all; almost like a whimsical magic trick. Lilies floated along upright in a
body of water. The pet vases were shaped like the gentle ripples in a pond,
waving as if they were hit by a gentle breeze. It inspired both awe and delight.

I stood in front of one the sinks and
stared at my reflection in the luminous mirror. I couldn't believe Caden was
here; in Landon's house. He was defying me, threatening the sense of security
I’d worked on for so long. I didn't know how scared I was from him, until I saw
him leave and realized that I was holding my breath.

What I was most worried about, was Landon
witnessing the scene that had happened between us, it would've destroyed me if
he’d discovered that I contributed in the destroying of a marriage.

Even though, it wasn't completely true.

I did feel guilty about it. A family was
destroyed, and I couldn't do anything about it.

I repeated Jude's words over, and over
again in my mind ‘
it wasn't your fault Boo, you didn't know.’

After fifteen brooding minutes, I managed
to put on a fake smile on my face and head out back outside.

"Where have you been?"

Landon was standing inches from my face,
seemingly annoyed.

"What do you mean; I just went
upstairs to use the bathroom."

I was puzzled by his reaction.

"Who was that?"

He asked fumingly.

"Who?"

I prompted quickly, secretly hoping he
wasn't talking about Caden.

"The man who just got beat up by Jude
downstairs in my lobby."

I blinked in disbelief at Landon's words,
beat
up.

Jude hit Caden.

"Oh my god!"

I breathed out.

"Answer me, Clea."

He urged angrily.

"Where's Jude?"

I barely managed talking past the choking
sensation I was having.

"He's been taken to the next
precinct, Eve is with him. Now answer me."

He grabbed my arm and turned me to face
him.

"Jude seemed to be worried about
you."

I shoved his hand, and walked past him. I
was in an indescribable state, tears prickling my eyes. I needed to see Jude
and understand what had happened.

I knew my best friend better than I knew
anyone, and he was never violent; not because he doesn't have the strength, but
because he'd rather use his sharp tongue making people feel bad for themselves,
rather than make them bleed.

Jude had been bullied during his
childhood, mostly because he had an alcoholic father. So as soon as he learned
how to protect himself and his mother, not that she was grateful or had ever
defended him, yet if it wasn't for him, she might've died during one of the
beating sessions her husband used to start with once he'd finish his last glass
of scotch.

I walked to the terrace to find it almost
empty, the musicians were packing their instruments, and Ryan was nowhere to be
found.

I was gone for fifteen minutes; what the
hell happened.

My mother was sitting with Uncle Robert,
Simon, and Jenna.

I turned to walk back inside and head out
to the precinct. I bumped head first into Landon. He grabbed me with both his
arms…

"What the fuck, Clea."

"I, I can't talk right now. Take me
to Jude and I promise to tell you everything."

I could hear the plea in my voice. I was
getting ready to beg him.

He took a breath to calm himself,
seemingly resolved to do as I asked.

"All right, let's go."

It took
us less than five minutes to reach the police station. As soon as the car
stopped, I flew out and ran to the doors.

The station was filled with men in uniform
buzzing around. I walked to the reception desk and asked the woman about Jude.

She ignored me and kept talking on the
phone.

I wasn't in an understanding state, I
needed an answer, and I needed it quickly.

I shifted nervously until I felt Landon's
arms around me. The desk receptionist looked like she just witnessed a magic
trick, batting her lashes in his direction.

Oh God.

"Oh for god sake, it's just
looks."

I scolded at her angrily.

She blinked, shocked by my words, and it
was all it took for her to let go of the phone. Landon squeezed my shoulder
tenderly trying to calm me down.

I was nanoseconds away from grabbing the
bitch's neck, and just strangle the information out of her.

"Hello Jillian, can you tell us where
Mr. Cervi is being held?"

"Right away Mr. Davis."

She gave me the look over, and I swear if
it weren’t for the fact that Jude was arrested; I would've slapped the
condescending look out of her.

She shuffled through the pile of paper,
half her attention on Landon. My brain was so messed up that I could've gone on
shut down at any moment. I didn't see why Jude would hit Caden. I wasn't
surprised that he'd beaten him; because he’d already did it once.

I stood in front of the desk for what
seemed like hours, I was taken back to that night back in April. It was
supposed to be my first time with Caden.

I thought that I'd waited long enough. I
wasn't his TA or his student anymore and it was his birthday.

At first, I had a bad feeling; I wasn't
sure about the whole idea; mostly because Caden had been acting weird and
distant.

I'd been scared that he got enough of
waiting for me, we'd had so many moments together during which we almost had
sex, but I'd bail every time.

I always had this feeling that if I ever
slept with him, I'd lose more than my virginity, and back then, I never knew
how true it had been until that day.

I'd planned everything. I made dinner
reservation for Jude and Ryan and asked them to come home as late as they
could.

I'd cooked a three courses dinner and made
him his favorite chocolate supreme cake and took care of every necessary thing
for a perfect night.

Scented candles and flowers everywhere, I
wrapped up a bow tie that I got for him from Hermes. I remembered how I’d spent
several days searching for something that would suit him and define him.
Despite everything he did to me, there is no point denying how distinguished he
always looked or how smart and cultivated he was.

"Clea.”

Landon's voice brought me back from my
trance. I looked up at him; he has the most beautiful and mesmerizing gaze.
Even though he looked worried and confused, he tried to hide it, but failed
miserably; which made me even more terrified of what might happen when he’d
learn the truth about Caden.

I hadn't told him how in love I was with
him yet, and I might lose him before I could do it.

He took off his jacket and placed it on my
shoulders.

I didn't notice how cold it was in the
station until he brought the warmth of the wool jacket to my bear arms.

I hugged it around my chest, drinking the
smell of him, probably for the last time and walked where he guided me.

Landon was famous around there. I couldn't
understand how a lawyer from Chicago could have that much consideration in New
York, yet he had. I grew anxious, the precinct was endlessly big; we walked
through long hallways then got inside an elevator. Once the door closed, he
took me in his arms, squeezed me in reassurance and it was my undoing.