Conduit (9 page)

“Lev,
come to me. I’m scared.”  Tears streamed down her face, glittering in the muted
afternoon light.  Thunder rumbled menacingly overhead, and the wind batted at
the awning, tugging to see if it could be undone, but the ropes managed to keep
it in place.

“Forgive
the disruption, Reverend.  I think I need a word with my son.”  Evan reached
for Lev’s arm, but Lev jerked out of reach, still avoiding his father’s gaze. 
All he could see was Elizabeth lying in what had somehow become her casket, and
he knew he had to go to her. 

He
started to the casket, but Evan quickly intercepted him.

“You
need to stop,” Evan said.  “And look at me.  Whatever you think you’re seeing,
it’s not real, I promise.”  His tone was harder and less calm than before. 
Even he seemed to know he was losing any edge he might have had.

“You
don’t know what I’m seeing,” Lev replied and pulled free so he could step
closer to the coffin.  He felt everyone watching, regarding him as though he’d lost
his mind, and maybe he had, but at least she was here with him in that madness,
and he’d take that over sanity any day. Any world with her was far better than
one without her. 

He’d
almost reached the coffin when Evan grabbed his shoulder and forced him to
turn.

“Enough. 
This is a funeral—Jimmie’s funeral.”

“And
Elizabeth is here. She’s come home.”

“Your
grief is playing tricks on you,” Evan warned, one hand still holding him in
place.  “She isn’t here.”

Shaken,
Lev reached to touch Elizabeth’s face, but his fingers passed through her and
met with solid wood instead, and then she was gone, leaving the casket as it
had been before, sealed and undisturbed.

In
horror, Lev found them all staring as before, pity and judgment written in
their faces, waiting to get on with Jimmie’s funeral, their eyes knowing and unblinking. 
He’d been losing it since Elizabeth had been taken, and he was beginning to
think he’d reached a point of no return.  The worst was the preacher, who had
no clue what Lev had lost but only that he was so broken his mind was confusing
reality with dream, and perhaps that meant he couldn’t be fixed, so why, even
if those in the Upper Realm could be convinced to change him back somehow,
would they?  No, he was lost, and they all knew it. 

Lev
began to run, knowing that it was the wrong thing to do in the middle of a
funeral, but he didn’t care.  He had to get away so he could think and breathe—had
to find some way of helping Elizabeth escape from whatever hell she’d found
herself in.

Even
after he’d left everyone behind, he kept running because it felt good, far
better than just standing there, waiting for the world to crumble around him. 
Yes, he knew the world was still perched precariously at the brink of a great
abyss, but he couldn’t stop it from falling, so maybe he needed to focus on
stopping himself from falling instead.

By
the time he did finally come to a stop, he found himself in the oldest part of
the cemetery where vines and creepers draped many of the stones, their names
worn away by time and the elements, words offered in loving tribute to the dead
now long gone. The rain had not yet ceased or even slowed, and his clothes
plastered themselves to his body.

Ducking
under a tree, he heard another clap of thunder, and even though the thick,
leafy branches sheltered him somewhat from the torrent, that shelter was in no
way complete as he leaned against the trunk and tried to catch his breath, his heart
and thoughts racing.  The hallucinations were getting worse, and he didn’t seem
able to differentiate between what was real and what wasn’t.  No matter when or
how he heard or saw Elizabeth, those experiences felt absolutely real, and he
wanted them to be, especially since he couldn’t shake all the fears surrounding
where she was and who held her against her will.

“Where
are you planning to run to that all this darkness can’t find you?  And what the
hell was that back there?”

As
Lev heard Griffin’s voice, he stiffened, suddenly feeling any peace he might
have found in isolation abruptly vanish.   He knew how stupid he’d been to run
away and think it would make any difference except to delay whatever was going
to happen, anyway—and here was Griffin to prove it. Still…

“What
do you want?” Lev asked, knowing just how loaded the question was.

“I
want you to stop acting like a horse’s ass and help us do what needs to be
done.”  Griffin raked his fingers through his dark hair, pushing the sopping
strands from his face. 

“You
act like I have no business feeling miserable.”  Lev’s tone was hard, and once
again he found himself wanting to punch Griffin and his sanctimony in the face for
not understanding just what kind of a nightmare Lev was facing.

“And
you act like you are the only one who is suffering in her absence,” Griffin
mused, never looking at him.  “No, she isn’t my girlfriend, Lev, but she is my
friend, someone I love and never want to lose, so I get that you’re in pain. 
We all are.  Now the only thing we can do is keep moving and hope we get lucky
enough to find her.”

Lev
walked, trying to come to terms with all the feelings boiling up inside, but
there was no place for them to go and nothing to be done to change them. 

“What
if I can’t do this?  What if as a human, I just mess everything up?”  He stared
at the ground, unable to face whatever was in Griffin’s eyes even as his friend
stepped over.

“Then
I guess you’re just as human as the rest of us, and you finally really
understand what that means when it comes down to it.” 

Lev
stared out into the rain.  “I was supposed to protect her.  I thought I could
do it, and one day she was here, and the next she was gone.  I still can’t
believe it.”

“That
makes two of us.”

For
a moment, they both just watched the rain.  Although it still fell and thunder
still boomed around them, it did seem to be lessening somewhat.

“I
don’t know if the preacher is still waiting for us, but we should probably go
just in case,” Griffin suggested.  “We owe it to Jimmie to give him a proper
send-off.”

            Lev
nodded.  “It’s going to kill Elizabeth when she finds out Jimmie’s dead.  She’s
never going to forgive me.”

            “Maybe
she will and maybe she won’t,” Griffin replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. 
“But I think you’re always going to struggle with how you feel when it comes
down to it.”

            Lev
didn’t answer.  He just pointed back toward the direction they’d come.  “Looks
like the rain is finally letting up some.”  He didn’t wait for Griffin’s response
but started off, heading back to the gravesite, wondering what he would say
when he got there.  While there might be a million and one excuses he could
give regarding his erratic behavior, no one would believe he was having hallucinations,
and even if they did, what could they say that would help him feel the madness
would eventually pass?

            The
whole way back to the graveside, he sensed Griffin following him like a
shadow.  Neither spoke, both recognizing neither had words for this, Lev was
pretty sure, and he was tired of talking, anyway. 

             
As they reached the awning, both were soaked.  Yes, the rain had slowed, but it
hadn’t stopped.  Celia, Evan, and the preacher all stared openly at them, and
Lev could only imagine what must be going through the preacher’s mind. 

Then
again, perhaps things weren’t nearly as crazy as they could have been. 
Considering just how many funerals the preacher had probably been to during his
religious career, he’d probably seen much weirder stuff than this.  Funerals
tended to bring out the worst in people, one way or another, so if this were
the worst he’d experienced, the preacher had probably been very fortunate. Indeed.

Without
explanation—that would come later, Lev was sure—he resumed his place next to
Evan, before the casket, lamenting at how it seemed as though he’d never gone,
which on one hand was the right thing to do for Jimmie, but it felt all wrong
standing here again with all this pain tearing at him from the outside in. 
Still, if everyone else could hold it together, he had to find a way to do the
same.

*
* *

“You
can’t keep doing this, Lev.”

They’d
all barely made it in the door, and Lev had headed back to his room to change
into dry clothes when Evan had found him, obviously displeased with Lev’s
behavior at the cemetery.  Then again, since Lev had been changed into a
mortal, he’d often displeased his angelic father.  It was like he could no
longer do anything the way it should’ve been done.

“I’m
not doing anything.” Lev retorted, obviously stalling as he jerked off his wet
shirt and hung it over the shower rod to dry out some before taking off the
rest of his soaked clothes and getting into dry things.  Then he grabbed the
towel he’d brought back from the bathroom and dried off, all the while refusing
to meet Evan’s pointed stare.  Once he was finished with the towel, he set it
on his dresser and grabbed a t-shirt.

“You
are out of control, which only makes it that much easier for the
dybbuks
or whatever is leading them to claim control over you.”  He jerked the tie from
around his neck and stepped toward Lev.

Immediately
Lev bristled, feeling anger surge inside of him.  He wanted to just spit out
some sarcastic response, but doing so would only prove Evan right and that Lev needed
closer scrutiny because he couldn’t keep his behavior in check.  Yeah, that
would be such a good idea. 

“You
keep focusing on my actions, but let’s talk about yours.  You are, after all,
the one with wings still attached, and you could conceivably turn this whole
nightmare around if you would just do something.”

Evan
shook his head disbelievingly.  “You don’t get it, do you?  This isn’t just
about Elizabeth.  Yes, she’s the key to the
dybbuks
’ doings.  She’s what
is somehow drawing them out, but it goes way beyond that, whether you want to
admit it or not.  We not only have to get her back, but we also have to figure
out who is behind this because
dybbuks
don’t organize and plot in this
fashion. A higher power is needed to orchestrate their actions, and you know
it.  As for me not doing anything, angels don’t work miracles—or have you
forgotten that, too?” 

Evan
didn’t wait for Lev’s response but strode out, not even bothering to look back.

Chapter
Nine

The
next morning, sunlight poured through the window as if yesterday’s storms had
never come.  As Lev sat up, his thoughts immediately drifted to Elizabeth,
wondering how and where she was.  An uncomfortable tightness seized him.

He
wanted to pull the covers back over his head and drift back to sleep, hoping to
find her in his dreams, but that wasn’t going to help.  Of course, considering
just how helpful Evan hadn’t been up until now, Lev was beginning to wonder
what it would take to get her back again.

Still,
he forced himself to rise and put on some jeans and a t-shirt before heading
into the kitchen.  As he stepped to the fridge, he immediately thought of
Jimmie.  If Jimmie were still alive, this would be the place Lev would find him,
but Jimmie was gone.  The
dybbuks
had seen to that.

Ashamed,
Lev jerked open the fridge and hefted out the milk.  It wasn’t so much that he
wanted breakfast; he just needed to do something to keep moving until he could
be back with Elizabeth. Nothing was going to make sense until that happened. 
Being with her was all that mattered, and when he thought of that, he usually
forgot to eat or do anything else.

Grabbing
a bowl, he poured himself some cereal and splashed it with milk.   Although he’d
heard someone else come into the kitchen, he didn’t look up, figuring he didn’t
have much to say.

“Wide
awake,” Griffin muttered, grabbing an orange from the bowl next to Lev.   He
plunked down at the table and picked at the skin of the fruit, setting the peel
on the table, probably planning to gather it later to toss it out.

“I
had trouble sleeping,” Lev admitted, and it was true.  His shoulders and back
ached anew as though the words themselves had triggered the pain.

“That
makes two of us,” Griffin murmured, sticking a section of orange in his mouth. 
“It seems like this nightmare is never going to end.”  He carefully avoided
Lev’s gaze, preferring to look instead at the fruit in his hand.

“Did
Evan mention the plan for today?”  He, too, sat at the table and nibbled at his
cereal.

“Not
to me.”  Griffin nodded to his shoulder.  “Any chance you’ll get your wings
back or something?”

“Not
likely.  Evan’s made it clear.”  He took another bite to keep himself from
saying any numbers of the things he felt, none of which were positive.

"I
just don't understand why you are now mortal but the threats to Lizzie are
still present."

 “I
wish I knew,” Lev finally answered, his throat closing up.  It was supposed to have
been over.  They should have found the happiness both of them had wanted, but instead
they’d found this, and in the process Lev had lost her, maybe for good,
something he dared not think about right now.

Unsure
what to else to do, he finished his breakfast, figuring keeping his head low
might get everyone off his back, at least until he did something else that was stupid. 
Of course, that might be all of ten minutes from now, the way he had been
going.  He was excelling at stupid.

As
he set his bowl in the sink, Lev saw movement at the corner of his eye and
realized Evan had come in.  When Lev looked, he found Evan staring, a curious
expression on his face—he was trying to make up his mind about something. 
Whatever it was, Lev was sure Evan wasn’t going to let him in on it.  Since everything
had become need-to-know, Lev had quickly come to understand he apparently didn’t
need to know much of anything, probably because, since he’d lost his wings,
there wasn’t much he could do about anything.

“Morning,”
Griffin said, nodding as he finished the orange.  “What’s on for today?”  He
kept his voice casual, but Lev had an inkling he, too, was chomping at the
bit. 

“Training.” 
Evan glanced from Griffin to Lev and back again, sizing them both up.  “Let’s
meet out back in about fifteen, and hopefully today we’ll be able to formulate
a plan to get Elizabeth back.”

Although
Lev opened his mouth to speak, Evan didn’t give him a chance.

“Later,”
he said. He was choosing not to answer, and Lev knew it, which only made Lev angrier. 
How had Elizabeth stood him when he’d been an angel and as full of answers as
he must have been but so reluctant to share any of them—so…
smug
?  Surely
that had to have gotten old.  Lev hadn’t been human but a handful of months,
and already he was getting tired of experiencing that same thing with his
father.

Once
Evan had slipped out of the room, Lev realized Griffin was watching him now,
and he reciprocated. 

“What?”
Lev growled. “Spit it out.”

“Do
me a favor and stick to killing me with a sword this time.”  His hand drifted
to his head where Lev had struck him and left a very real and painful wound.

“I
didn’t mean to hurt you,” Lev retorted, feeling his face flush. 

“Yeah,
well, try to keep hold of your temper, will you?”  He didn’t wait for Lev’s
response but slipped from the room, leaving Lev alone, his stomach clenching
nervously. Lev didn’t have a clue why he was suddenly so apprehensive.  He
should have been glad Evan thought there was a way through the darkness—a way that
would get them to Elizabeth—but he’d learned the hard way that sometimes the
most direct route was also the course of most violence.  Did Evan think they
were ready for any of this?  And while Lev wanted more than anything to be the one
who saved her, all he’d done so far was to botch everything up.  With that kind
of a track record, he was starting to seriously question his role in all of
this.  His role didn’t bode well for any of them. 

Griffin
was right.  He had a temper he couldn’t control—a temper that hadn’t existed
until he’d become human—and now it seemed to get the better of him at every
bump in the road.  So where did that leave him?

“Are
you ready for this?”

Lev
jumped. Celia wore a pair of grey yoga pants and a white t-shirt.  Her long,
blonde hair had been pulled into a high ponytail, and she frowned, chewing her
bottom lip.  She seemed to already know Lev’s answer.

“Ready
for what?”

 “Didn’t
Evan tell you he found his reinforcement?”

“No,
he must’ve left that part out.” Lev admitted, heading to the window to join
Celia.  That’s when he spotted a very tall, very muscular dark-headed guy step
into the yard.  Lev couldn’t see the wings—he didn’t have Elizabeth’s gift for
somehow catching glimpses in to the supernatural world because all of that had
been stripped away when he’d been changed.  Yes, he could see the wings with
his family members, but that was probably a combination of familiarity and
memory.

Immediately,
as he looked at the new guy, he felt his back twinge. 

“I
don’t like him.”

Celia
shrugged.  “You don’t have to like him.  You just have to accept the fact that
he’s here to help and that he knows more than any of us about
dybbuks
. 
Can you do that much at least—for Elizabeth?”

Lev
shot her an angry glare.  “You think this is me being a teenage male or
something, but it’s not.  This time I’m telling you I sense something, and it’s
not right. 
He’s
not right. Of course, now that I’m not an angel
anymore, you have absolutely no reason to believe me.”  He raked his fingers
through his hair, wishing he could just shut off all these all-too-human
emotions.  Having been an angel once, he now wondered how mortals did
this—lived with such furious and often conflicting feelings rushing through
them.

“That’s
not fair.” Celia caught his arm, her fingers lightly resting on his skin.  “You
know that since you’ve become human, you aren’t always steady.  It’s part of
the packaging.  I know none of us envisioned this outcome.  There’s no way we
could have, and maybe because of what happens sometimes Evan and I are less
trusting than we should be with you.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s
not your fault,” he muttered.  “Angels do know best, don’t they?  You’re never
wrong.”  He shook his head.  “But that’s the thing.  You may be closer to
perfect than I, but you can’t understand the good part of mortality.  Granted,
it might be what destroys me in the end, but I won’t give up. And if becoming
human was a stupid thing, I’d rather be stupid any day than not have her.  Is
that what you wanted to hear?”

It
wasn’t a question—or at least not one he wanted an answer to, so he crossed to
the back door, knowing that even if he tried to stave off meeting Evan’s idea
of backup, he’d still be forced to accept what he couldn’t change, and as he
had no supernatural ability to throw into the betting pool, his fate was sealed.

If
he thought the reinforcement that Evan had brought was big from where he stood
watching at the window, when he finally stepped outside and really sized the
new angel up, he discovered that he was even bigger than he’d seemed, all bulk
and muscle.  That alone made him intimidating, but Lev was pretty sure there
was far more to him than size.  Size wouldn’t be the advantage, so what would
be the point?  It had to be something else, something that went far beyond what
human eyes could see.

As
he stepped outside, Evan, who’d had his back to Lev, slowly faced him.  “Are
you ready to begin training?”

“I’m
ready to find Elizabeth.  Now.”  His tone was hard, and he purposely stared
only at his father, carefully avoiding the new angel’s eyes.  Until Lev could
figure out what was so different about him, he wasn’t going to put himself in
any position of vulnerability or give him anything more than he had to.

“No,”
the new angel countered.  “You’re not ready for that.  Not by a long-shot.”

“Says
you.”  He clenched his jaw, furious beyond measure.  He tried to calm down,
tried to understand what it was about this one that seemed to have set him off,
but he couldn’t figure it out.  Whatever it was, it had set his teeth on edge.

“You’re
not ready, Lev.  You know that.”  Evan used the quietly patient tone—the one he
typically reserved for the panicking humans he’d been chosen to sojourn—and most
of the time it worked.  Lev just happened to know he was being played and
wanted nothing to do with it, and if his father expected compliance, he was
going to show he didn’t have to do whatever he was told—not if it wasn’t in
Elizabeth’s best interest.

“Right,”
Lev muttered, shooting his father an angry glare.

“Let
me introduce you to the angel who has come to our aid.”  Evan nodded to the
bulky visitor.  “This is Riley.  Riley, this is my son, Lev.

“Good
to meet you,” Riley said, nodding.  He set his hands on his hips.

“I
wish I could say the same.”  Lev headed back toward the house, curious whether
Celia and Griffin had planned to come out and join in the fun or this little
display were all for his benefit.  He wouldn’t doubt it, not knowing Evan as well
as he did.  Griffin would be easy to lead around when it came down to it. 
Celia could probably manage it with one wing tied down.  It wasn’t exactly a
secret that the two of them were getting close to Lev-Elizabeth territory in
the feelings department.  Evan and he had both just chosen to overlook it
because since Lev had become mortal and now that she had been taken, they’d had
more than enough to keep them all busy.  There was no point in adding anything
new to the mix.  Besides, Lev couldn’t see Griffin backing off even if Lev did
try to warn him of the consequences.  Human couldn’t learn by example, for the
most part, unless that example was them.

“Can
we at least try to be grateful someone this powerful has come?” Evan asked, not
even bothering to hide his displeasure this time.  He openly glared at Lev, like
he wanted to scream, “Will you just stop acting like a human for a few
minutes?”

As
if that were possible, but Lev was human, in case his father had forgotten.

“Is
there anyone else who will be joining us?”  Riley glanced past them toward the
back door, waiting to see if anyone else would come out.

“Just
one,” Evan replied, and, as if on cue, Celia slipped out the door, her gaze settling
first on Evan and then Riley.

“Well,
having another angel at least helps to tip the odds in your favor.”

Lev
shook his head.  “So what are you suggesting, that two angels and two mortals
you yourself are starting to train can’t handle
dybbuks
?”  His tone was
laced with incredulity.