Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (60 page)

He
gazed down a
t her
and his voice caught again
. “
There’s more I
want
to
say
.
I have to
tell you
.
” He seemed to gulp before he added in a husky whisper,
“
I
love
d him because
of
you
.
” He stroked her face, his hands so gentle on her skin.
“
I
love
you
so much
. I
t seems I’ve
love
d you forever, but
I was afraid to tell you. I thought you only wanted me around
—you know,
because you needed help when
Steve was
such a jerk
,
when your dad made things so hard for you
, when you were all alone
.
There were so many nights
after you went back to Buckley
when I wanted to see you, to make sure you were safe, even
after you had
Happy
with you
.
”
He hugged her to hi
s chest
again
, kissing the top of her head.
“I wanted to
tell you, but I
was a coward
.”

He paused and gulped
again
. “I was afraid I’d scare you away
if I even hinted at how I felt.”
He looked deeply into her eyes. “Please don’t tell me I can’t, that you don’t want me to love you.”

She
rose
on her tiptoes and kissed his scrat
chy cheek
, her heart singing
. “
Oh, Ben.
I
love
you, too
,
but I didn’t think I was good enough for you. You were always there for me,
even though
it was
because of me you got in trouble with
Joe
l
, and
everything
. I so wish I had met you before
—
everything.
”

She remembered what Doctor Wright had said, that Ben was not like an old shoe.  She shivered, thinki
ng how awful her life would have been had he not been there for her, with her.  She wrapped her arms around
his waist
, never wanting to let him go.
“You’ve been a true friend
, better than a friend
.” She sighed.

“After Steve, I told Monica I never wanted to have a boyfriend ever again, but I was lying. I kept thinking—all last summer—how much I wanted a boyfriend like you, someone who liked me just for me, and not only for sex. I was so stupid when I fell for Steve. I kept hoping if I wasn’t pregnant that maybe
you and I
could be friends.
It was just so awesome that Jimmy didn’t stop you from staying with me. But I was so scared you’d never want me—after he died.” She looked up at him. “I feel so lucky that we met
, even though it was
right before
I found out I was pregnant
.”

Ben chuckled.
“It doesn’t
matt
er when we met. It
just
matt
ers that we did.”
When he loosened his grip on her, h
e
looked
down at the
half-filled
box. “Are you sure you want to
put
Jimmy’s
things away?
”

“Yes, it’s time.”
She stepped back.

“Then l
et’s do it together
.”

T
hey
finished filling the second box, carried them
to the car and placed
them
on the back seat.
Then
Danni
held the doo
r
open
while
Ben
carried the cradle
outside
and placed it
in the trunk
.

“Where do you want us to take th
ese things
?”

“My mom’s
house. Her attic is big enough.”
Danni
gave him a watery smile.

“
Sounds like a good idea.
” His stomach growled.
“But c
an we do it
a little
later? I’m really hungry
.
”

“Of course.” S
he shut the door behind him as he entered the house. They made
an early dinner
out of an omelet and some
fruit salad.  When they had eaten, she
cleared the table.
“You
look
tired. Do you want to
take a nap
?”

“A good plan,” he murmured
, yawning
and headed for his bedroom
.

“Why don’t you use
my
bed so y
our feet won’t hang off the end?
”

“Okay.”
 

Danni
stayed behind in the kitchen to clean up
. She returned to the bedroom, undressed, and slipped
under the covers
in her nightgown
.
She lay next to him and listened to his
dee
p
steady
breathing. She
let her hand wander,
brushing his neck and
bare
chest
with feather-light touches. Then she rose
on
one elbow, enough
to reach his mouth
,
and
kissed him
, remembering the kiss he had given her after their Thanksgiving dinner.
Why had she not acknowledged what her body had told her th
en, what it was telling her now?

He
opened his e
yes
and smiled at her before wrapping his arms around her. S
he began to kiss
him again
and
whisper how much she loved
him
as she stroked his face, brushing the hair off his forehead
, aware of his
growing
arousal
.

“Ben?”

“Hmm.”

“I want us to m
ake love,” she
murmured
.

He peered at her, his eyes darkening
. “Are you sure?”

She nodded
. “Very sure.”

When
she s
at
up and began
to pull off her nightgown, he said, “Let me.” 

Then, with the utmost care, he
slowly
bared her skin to the light and began to caress her with his lips and his hands,
his touch
so obvious that
he was
loving every inch of her. She couldn’t believe how
he
made her feel. Cherished was the
first
word that came to mind
before others were crowded out of her brain
when she thought
she was going to explode with desire
.

“You’re absolutely sure?”
he asked her
again
. She
let her lips and her hands tell h
im
how much she wanted him
.

After they
made
love
, she lay in his arms
, unable to stop smiling
. She
had
never imagined it
could
be like this
. Like nothing she’d shared with Steve. So different, so complete, so mind-blowing
ly beautiful
.

Sometime later
, after they had talked about Jimmy and all the times—good and bad—that they had shared
,
Ben
made love
to her
again
, more urgently
this time
, as if he couldn’t get enough of her. She met his enthusiasm with her own, wanting to climb under his skin to nestle near his heart as he entered her
.
When they were both sated, t
hey slept in
each
other’s arm
s
through much of the
night
.

Just
before dawn,
Danni
woke
to someone, it had to be
Ben
,
stroking her face
. When she opened her eyes, she
smiled at him and spoke his name, whisper-soft, with reverence
. When his hands began to explore her body
again
, she sighed
and
let her
sounds and movements
tell him
that
she was ready
. They
made
gentle and caring
love
,
as if
each
was
seeking to
help
the
other
to heal the
ir
heartache
in the loss of their baby
,
even as they expressed
their
wonder and joy in their
newly
acknowledged
love
.
It had been
there for so many months
,
recognized
but
never fully
accepted
by either of them
, a passion tamped down by their unspoken fears, now
fre
ed
to float
around them
as each
reveled in what they
now
shared
.

Ben
drove
to the clinic, arriving in time to open the back door for
Joe
l
, as he carried the basket of puppies into the back room. 

“Is it
okay
with you if I take over their feedings?”

“Be my guest. I’m about all played out after
two
night
s of nursemaid
duty
. Is
Danni
coming in today?”

“Maybe later.
”
Ben
smiled.

Chapter 16

A knock sounded.
Anna went to the door.
David
sto
od on the porch. “Can I come in
?”

“
I guess you got my note.
” She stood aside so that he could enter.
“
About the baby, your grandson.
”

He shook his head. “
I haven’t been at work for a
couple weeks
.”

“Wh
y
not
?”

“My boss told me to stay away until I could co
me in without stinking of booze.
”
He
sighed. “I’ve been picking up work at other places on the pier.”

S
he
star
ed
for a moment and
frowned
.  “Then w
hy are you here, David?”

“To let you know I’m going back to
my regular
work tomorrow. I talked to my boss and he’s giving me another chance.”
He shoved his hand in
his pocket. “And to give you this.”
David
pla
ced a wad of bills in her hand.
“What I made
on the pier
after I stopped hitting the bottle.”

She
took
the money from him
, pursed her lips,
and placed it on the table between them. “
I’ll put this in your daughter’s
college fund,
”
she said pointedly.
After a moment
,
she paused and
looked
up
.
“
So you don’t know about
Danni’s baby
?”