Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (63 page)

“I don
’t want them
at my place
.
Just
find
them good homes.”

Ben pick
ed out the smallest male
, a little guy who would never had been acceptable
in
the show ring
because of
the sever
al spots of white on his face.
The pup followed him around whenever Ben came into the yard. To commemorate his ownership, he placed a bright r
ed collar around the pup’s neck. The
little dog
trotted
aro
und with his head held high, a
pat
ented
retriever
smile on his face. 

Joel leaned back in his chair, looking at the calendar. He crossed off the first three weeks of May.
“I hate to see you go, Ben
.
You’ve been a
great help to me this past year,
even if I did have to kick your butt a few times.”

Ben
smiled at
his mentor
.
“I deserved it
.
The only thing I’m glad to
leave behind
is Schotzie. Well, actually, the dog is
okay
. I
t’s her
own
er I
’d
prefer to avoid.”

“I
have a feeling we’ll be seeing more
of Schotzie
, but fewer visits,
now that you’re not here to warm the cockles of Mrs. Learman’s heart. Something tells me
that dog
’s going to put on weight
from a bunch of
extra treats.”

Joel
walked out with Ben as his last
official
day
at the clinic
ended. “One more thing, Ben. I’m n
ot supposed to, but I’ll mail
you a copy of my last evaluation.
After you
read it, give me a call.”

“Hm
m
, that sounds mysterious.
Will I
be unhappy?”

“I don’t want to say any
more—except that I hope the new
extern
is
half as good as you. With
Danni
back to part
-
time work in two weeks
when
she starts summer school, I’m not going to have the quality help I’m used to.” The two men
shook
hands, and
Ben climbed into the
Green
Monster
.

When
he
arrived at
the cottage,
Danni
held up
the going-away
cake she
had
made.

He let the screen door bang behind him, and she reached up to hug him. “I’m going
to miss you, Benjamin the T
all.
”

“And I you, Shortie
.
But you’ll have T
he Golden to take care of,” he reminded her.
“And, I’ll call you every chance I get.”

“W
e
have to
find
a decent name for that
puppy
.
Calling him T
he Golden
is simply not good enough. What self-respecting dog wants
to be referred to by his breed?
”

He laughed. “I have a feeling you’ll figure out the perfect name for him
once you start working with him.” H
e sat down to cut into the cake.

“Hey, you can’t do that!” She pulled the knife away.  “First you have to blow out the candles—all
twenty-five
of them—
and
we
have to wait for my mom
.”

“
Okay
.
Are you going back to your house once I’m gone?”

“We’re
considering it
.
Mom
think
s
it will be
okay
, and I really won’t be there much—with commuting back and forth to school, and working with
Joe
l
and his new
extern
.” She kissed his palm where the scar still showed from hi
s fight with Steve. “Just think.
A
woman
extern
.
That
is
so cool!”

Before he could
ask
why,
Anna
knocked on the door. “May I come in?”

Ben stood and opened the door for her. “Come in, Mrs.
Kelly
.”

“Ben, you know better than that. Please call me Anna,” she scolded,
after
pat
ting his face.

“Yes, ma’am
.”

Danni lit the candles.
While
Danni
and Anna watched, Ben blew
them out
—a pre-birthday
cake
,
Danni
insisted
, since he would be gone when his birthday occurred
—and the three of them sat down to i
ndulge themselves.

Anna’s words reverberated in David’s mind
as he drove
to the island. He arrived after dark, having fought the Friday afternoon traffic most of the way home. Would Anna take him in? If not, he
would
sleep in the car.

He
headed for
Danni
’s little cottage in the woods. To avoid surprising her, he parked well off the main road and hiked in
through the trees
. The lights were on in the
kitchen
and a
d
ented and rusty
Yellow C
ab
missing its medallions
was parked near the porch. But he heard no voices. As he
approached, he saw his daughter
dancing around the living room and singing to herself. Where was that
young man
?
David
watched as she sang alon
g
to
the music from the radio
in the kitchen
. He bumped into the car as he moved closer.
Dannilynn
looked
out the window, but did not appear to see him. He watched her pour herself a
glass of
water
, and sit down at the kitchen table, a
book
in her hand.

When the phone rang, she answered it and smiled. He
wasn’t sure
what she was saying or who she was talking to, but it was clear the call made her happy. Rather than
risk being rebuffed
, he walked back to the main road and his car.
Chicken, that’s what I am. But
a shot of booze isn’t
gonna give me what I need to face her.
Not now.

His heart beat faster after leaving
Danni
’s place
. Anna was right, but his feelings remained high about what she had told him
. How could he forgive
the women in his life
when he knew God considered
their
actions a sin?
First,
Anna
,
then
his sister,
and now
his daughter. 
Anna had insisted they name their daughter after his late sister.
H
e wondered
whethe
r
his wife
had other secrets, knowing
now
what she
had hid
den
from him all these years.

Without
realizing how he got there
, he found himself in the church parking lot. He o
pened the side door and walked
to the back of the sanctuary. Only the eternal flame
near the altar
was lit
. The shadows hid him as he kneeled and pressed his head against the
wooden pew
in front of him.

He prayed and then began
murmur
ing as his shoulders moved and sobs
of regret
racked his body. “I didn’t mean to kill
Lynn
, you know that
. It’s true I said what
she
did
was sinful, but I never meant to hurt
her
. I never meant for that truck to hit us and kill
her
child
. I hope you know that
. And now
Anna. She’s carried
what she did
all this time. Had I known—
well,
I coul
dn’t have. She was right—
I
never would have married her and then
we
never would have
had
our
own
precious
child
. What have I done to
Danni
? How could I have wronged her
like that
?”

H
e let his sobs continue,
weep
ing for the years
of guilt
he’d carried
about his sister and for the more recent months when he had denied his
love
to
his daughter,
all because he
’d
abandon
ed her when she most needed his support.
“I thought I was acting on the Word as I was taught it.
I don’t think the Word is wrong, but maybe I’ve
been wrong all these years
,
and
took
it out on the people I
love
d the most.”

David’s voice
echo
ed
in
the sanctuary
.
Then he heard a door open. The pastor approached where David was
huddled in the back
pew
.  “God
love
s you and H
e forgives you,”
the minister
said
quietly
.

David wip
ed
his face with his sleeve. “I didn’t mean to disturb you
, Pastor
.
The door was open.”

“
Yes, it was
. I
t always is
.
You’
re not disturbing me. Would you like
me to stay with you
?
”

“I thou
ght I would sit here by myself. I need to be
alone
for
a
while
.”

“Even if I leave, y
ou won’
t be alone
, David
. N
ot in this place
.
”

He
looked
at the minister
.
“
No, I guess not.
You can
stay
.
”
After
a few minutes of silence,
David
began to tell
the man
what he had done a quarter century before, what Anna had
said to him
, and how he felt about what he had done to his daughter.

“I’ve never been one to share m
y feelings much,
but I shouldn’t have lashed out at her
like that
.
W
hat
kind of
father does that?
Now
I’ve lost her forever
,
both of them
.”

P
astor P
eter was silent
as
he
sat
next to his parishioner.
“There are far more mentions of forgiveness and
love
in the Bible than
of
sin
, David
. Y
ou have no authority to deny your daughter your
love
,
or
claim
that she is
no longer
your daughter
. God does not deny His
love
for you. Isn’t
that why you came here tonight,
t
o seek forgiveness for yourself,
and for
Dannilynn
?”