Coming Home- Rock Bay 1 (27 page)

T
HE
block party was loud and colorful and everything it had always been. Didn’t much matter. Lex felt like he was seeing things through a black and white lens. The people moved slower. Sounds seemed to be coming from the other end of a long tunnel. No matter who he looked at, they weren’t the one person he really wanted to see. Tally. The party was almost over. He could tell by the band that was warming up for the last hour of the night, which was usually a dance right in the middle of the street.
Jesus
, it had been a long day. He’d had Travis and his girlfriend Cheri to keep him company, Amy had been by multiple times on her breaks from volunteering at the first aid tent, but nothing seemed to make the hours go by any faster. The last few days at the shop had been painful, but at least he could watch Tally, hear his voice, smell him if he dared to get close enough.

Lex didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He still loved the guy. Desperately. He wanted the whole awkward situation to just be over without him having to make any grand gestures.

“Lex.” He looked up at Travis, who was waving a flyer from the local radio station in his face. “Earrrtth to Lex,” he droned, then started walking around stiffly, making little beeping Martian noises. Lex huffed out a small chuckle.

“Dude, I really have this if you want to leave. Cheri can help me box up the supplies when it’s over.”
Lex wanted to go home, but at the same time didn’t know what he’d do in an apartment that was annoyingly silent. He’d gotten used to having Tally around. He
wanted
Tally around.
This is ridiculous. Why am I torturing myself? Again.
“It’s okay, Trav. I’m going to stay and finish this out with you.”
Not like I have anything better to do.

Lex couldn’t help feeling like his feet were stuck to the ground, sinking into the cement and holding him in place. He hadn’t known it would hurt so much. Okay. Not true. He did. But there was always the hope that it wouldn’t. Lex leaned over to box up some of the extra drink cups to take back to the shop. When he had his back to the counter he heard a quiet voice call his name.

“Hey, Drew.”
“Have you seen Tally?”
Lex gave him an odd look. “Of course not. Shouldn’t I be asking

you that? I haven’t seen him since the store opened yesterday. I’ve been out here the whole time.”
Drew cringed.

“What?”
“Let’s just say he looks worse than you did last Sunday.” Lex froze. Then he slowly put his box down and looked at Drew. “What happened?”
“I’m sure you can guess. He found out that Brock got off

Lex was half-horrified and half in love with the idea of Tally championing him. “Please tell me he’s not in jail… or the hospital. I think we’ve all had enough of both.”

“He’s not—and neither is Brock. God, Lex. You should’ve seen him.”
Lex did let himself smile at that one. “I think I’ll be happy imagining it. Did he at least get a few good ones in?”
“A few?” Drew laughed. “Brock’s eye looks like an eggplant!”
Lex laughed too. The moment was pleasant, oddly, until they both stopped laughing and Drew looked at him calculatingly.
“Lex….”
“What?” He caught the gleam in Drew’s eye. “Don’t, Drew. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Drew sighed. “You have to. You guys still love each other. What the hell’s going on?”
“This doesn’t sound like not talking about it.” Lex tried to give Drew the stare down, but Drew wasn’t having it. “Listen, I don’t know what happened. Things just got… weird.”
“Then un-weird them! You’re both fucking miserable, and you’re making me miserable too.”
“No one’s forcing you to stand here.” Lex couldn’t help but be annoyed at Drew’s meddling.
“He’s right, you know.” The voice was quiet and behind him, but he couldn’t miss it.
“Travis!” he hissed.
“What? It’s not like we’re in a huge room. I could hear you, and he’s right. You and Tally have both been all fucked up for days. You’re not happy unless you’re together, and none of us are happy with you guys moping around like you have been.”
Fuck. They’re both right, and you know it.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
Lex was silent for a long time. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Both Drew and Travis looked incredulous.
“Maybe I’m ready to talk to him about it. Maybe I’m over being mad at him about Brock.”
Maybe I’m full of shit, and I’d like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life in his arms. Damn.
Drew shrugged and turned to walk away. “That’s better than no.”
“Where are you going?”
“Walk around, whatever.”
Lex felt something shift in his gut. “Tally’s here, isn’t he.”
“Wouldn’t you be?” Drew shrugged again and walked away.
Lex went back to his stacking. He didn’t know if he could talk to Tally, but he wanted to. So bad. He wished everything was back to the way it had been back before the return of Brock The Rock and his assholes. Why’d it ever have to happen?
The music started, and people filled the cordoned off area of the street. Children, parents, people of all sorts danced to the mix of classic party favorites. They all looked so happy. Like he had been. Lex wished the night would be over. Sort of. He didn’t want to be there any more than he wanted to be alone in his oh-so-empty apartment. He wished he knew what he was supposed to do. He kept cleaning, putting his booth together so it would be easy to transport when the night was over.
“Lex.”
It was the third time in less than an hour someone had called his name, but it wasn’t Drew, and it sure as hell wasn’t Travis. His heart went kerthunk at the sound of that sexy, mellow voice. He’d missed it. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since they’d talked, but it felt like forever. Lex looked up. Oh, God, Tally’s face! It was bruised and cut and more gorgeous than anything else in the world. Lex felt another momentary thrill at the thought that Tally had done it for him. He tried to school the excitement out of his features.
“What are you doing here, Tally?” Even Lex was surprised by the lack of emotion in his voice. Maybe there was just too much inside of him and it was bottlenecking somewhere painful.
“Hoping you’ll forgive me for being the biggest asshole in the universe. I’m dying.”
Lex shrugged, trying to pretend Tally wasn’t the most important thing in his world. “Tally, it’s no biggie. People change. We never said we were forever.”
Why the hell did I say that? Moron!
Lex wanted to touch him, wanted to reach his arms out, grab on to Tally and never let go. He ground his nails into his palms. Tally came closer and cupped his face in those amazing, warm, calloused hands. He looked uncertain, like he thought maybe Lex would pull away.
“But that’s just it,” he finally muttered, voice hoarse. “You
are
forever for me.”
Lex’s heart stopped, and all of a sudden the weirdness didn’t matter. Nothing did but the look on Tally’s face.
“I want to wake up kissing you every morning, go to sleep holding you in my arms, make love, make amazing coffee together.” Lex couldn’t help smiling. “Babe, I’ve never wanted to spend my life with anyone but you. I can’t imagine it any other way. I’m not going to cop out and blame these last few weeks on getting scared, but Jesus, the way I feel about you scares the hell out of me.”
“Why, because you’re still afraid of what people will think?”
“No. Hell no. I’m scared because you might not feel the way that I do: like you weren’t really breathing before you saw my face. I know I was only half-alive until I saw yours. This past week has been fucking torture.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Tal?”
“That I want us back. Any way I can have it. However you want it to be. I mean, we were happy, weren’t we?”
Lex’s stomach did a flip, then a long shivery back dive from his mouth all the way down into his shoes. “Yeah, I thought so.”
“So, will you try it again? Let me make everything up to you?”
“And you’ll stay with me. Out in the open and for real?”
“Yes to all of it.
Yes
. I was acting like an idiot. I
love
you.”
“Are you sure?” Lex’s heart was between his teeth. He didn’t know what he’d do if the answer was “I don’t know.” Tally’s slow grin made it beat even faster.
Tally pressed their foreheads together. “Yes, I’m sure. Lex Barry, I want to stay here, with you. Love you out in the open, for real and forever.” He glanced around at the crowd. “Come dance with me. In front of all these people. I want everyone to know how I feel about you.”
Lex felt the flutter of fear in his stomach. It was one thing for the whole town to know he was gay, but for them to
see
it, to see him being intimate with a man, with
Tally
, in public. It wasn’t the same thing.
“Go dance with your boyfriend, Lex. I’ve got the stand.” Travis, his apparently nosy employee, grinned and pushed on his shoulder gently. Of course he did.
Lex allowed himself to be pulled onto the dance floor. It was crowded, but nowhere near crowded enough that their presence couldn’t be easily seen. He tried not to notice his heart pounding as he called himself a hypocrite. Here was Tally, ready to tell the world who he loved, and
Lex
was scared?
“Um, people are staring.”
Tally raised his eyebrows as if in challenge, and he drew Lex closer, threading his hands through Lex’s hair and cupping his head. “I don’t care. Do you?”
And that’s the question of the day.
He decided the answer was no. Fuck it. Let them stare. No more hesitating. He pulled on Tally’s hair, drawing him closer, and in front of a grinning Drew, who was poking and pinching at Amy, and the rest of the staring townspeople, Lex kissed the man he loved, slow and soft and binding. They were smiling at each other like fools, laughing softly at nothing, and Lex had never been more scared or more damn
happy
in his entire life.
“Love you, Tal.”
“I love you too, baby. I’m so sorry about the past few weeks.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Lex smiled slyly. “I suppose if you eventually decide to go back to Brock again I can always start dating Drew.”
Tally attacked his sides with tickles, and Lex threw his head back, laughing and realizing he didn’t give a shit who saw. He was so in love, nothing else mattered but that.
“Don’t even think about it.” Tally swooped down and took Lex’s lips for another long kiss that left him breathless and wishing they were home and in bed.
“I won’t.” Lex kissed him back.
“It’s not going to happen, you know. I’d never have anything to do with him after what he did to you.” Tally’s voice was serious and soft.
Lex nodded. “I know you won’t. I trust you.”
“You sure?” Tally looked nervous still. Lex kissed him again to get rid of that look. He hated that it was there in the first place.
“I’m sure.”
“And you really want me back?”
Lex nodded and tightened his arms around Tally’s neck. “You’re not the only one who’s been miserable. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Really?”
Lex grinned, glad to finally be feeling happy again. Like himself. “Of course.”
“Can we go home, then?”
Home. With Tally. He liked the sound of it and everything it implied. Lex smiled and looked at Travis, who smiled and waved for him to take off.
“Yeah, home sounds good.”

while she loves to visit other places, she can’t imagine calling anywhere else home. M.J. spent her childhood writing stories. Sometime in her early teens, the stories turned to romance. Most of those stories were about her, her friends, and their favorite cute TV stars. She hopes she’s come a long way since then…

When M.J.’s not writing, she loves to play the piano and cook and paint pictures, and of course read. She likes sparkly girly-girl things, owns at least twenty different-colored headbands, and she has a little white dog with a ginger eye spot who sits with her when she writes. Sometimes her dog comes up with the best ideas for stories… when she’s not busy napping. She’s a relatively new author, but the great folks over at Jessewave.com named her as one of the new M/M authors who rock in 2010.

Visit M.J. at
http://www.mjoshearomance.com
or at her blogs,
http://mjoshea.com/
and
http://mjandpiper.blogspot.com
. E-mail her at
[email protected] or follow her at Twitter.