Color of Forgiveness (29 page)

“A little…”

“You are so preggers! Look, I gotta run so I
can go get the pregnancy test and get it shipped off to you ASAP.
I’m so excited I’m about to bust. Can you imagine what your babies
are going to look like? They’re going to be so beautiful you’ll
have to enter them into those ‘most beautiful baby’ contests.
They’ll be little miniature scruffy Greek goddesses. And I’m going
to have to stop by the baby store while I’m out. I haven’t been to
a baby store in like forever. I’ll call you later, okay?”

Numbly, Myra hangs up the phone and stares
at it, deciding that Susie has officially lost her mind because
there’s no way she could be pregnant. What would Dylan…? She can’t
even complete that thought before a horrible fear comes over her
and a lump forms in her throat. But before she can do anything, her
stomach lurches and she jumps off of the bed and runs to dry heave
into the toilet again.

CHAPTER 9

Myra looks up when she hears the loud sound
of Dylan’s work boots hitting the hard wood floor as he gets closer
and closer to her bedroom. Closing her eyes, she inhales deeply
through her nose and blows the air out slowly through her mouth,
trying to slow her rapid heartbeat and calm her frazzled nerves. As
another wave of nausea hits her, she swallows hard and prays that
she can hold it together in front of Dylan and not run to the
toilet gagging. She knows she can’t be pregnant, but even so, she
can’t let him suspect anything. Not until she knows for certain
what’s going on herself.

Her heart twists painfully in her chest when
she thinks of Dylan. She loves him so much, more than anything. She
hadn’t admitted it to herself yet, but she knows deep in her heart
that she would have given up her dreams of marriage and children
for him. She would have willingly sacrificed all those things to be
with him because of how much she loves him.

The thought of hurting him when he’s been
through so much already is almost unbearable to her. If he were to
find out she was pregnant, she knows it would crush him. She can’t
even imagine how he’d react. He’d never accept it. He’d somehow
blame her and probably leave. And all of the progress that he’s
made – talking to her about Mel and going to seeing the therapist –
would be for nothing.

She quickly tries to recall when her last
period was. She spotted a little bit on the day she flew out to
Philly to be with Susie. It definitely wasn’t a ‘normal’ period,
but she chalked it up to all the stress she was under at the
time.

She tries to think back on her birth control
pills. She knows for a fact that she hasn’t missed any of them this
month. She’s been incredibly diligent about taking them every day
after the conversation she had with Dylan, but what about last
month? She frowns when she can’t remember any of it and her mind
goes completely blank.

She looks up when Dylan pokes his head
inside her room, a big goofy grin on his face. “Knock. Knock.”

She puts her worries aside for a moment and
gives him a small smile back. “Who’s there?”

He frowns. “Shit. I don’t know any damn
knock knock jokes,” he grumbles, causing Myra to laugh.

Reaching over to her bedside table, she
grabs a hair scrunchie to put her hair up in a ponytail. As she
runs her fingers through it, gathering it together in the back, she
freezes and gasps loudly.

Dylan frowns as he sits down on the bed next
to her. “What? What’s wrong?”

Terror creeps up her spine. She can feel the
color draining from her face, and she can barely breathe.

Dylan grabs her thigh, squeezing it. “Myra.
What is it? You’re starting to scare the fuck out of me.”

Her fingertips linger on the scar on the
back of her head for a moment before she slowly drops her arms.
Memories of falling on the ice and Dylan rushing her to the
emergency room flood her mind. She’d had a concussion and had been
a little out of it. She didn’t think anything of it at the time…
when she missed a few pills. She took them a few days later as soon
as she realized she’d skipped them. By the time she slept with
Dylan that first time, she was back to regularly taking them. But
somehow… maybe… could it be? Fear clutches at her heart.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” Dylan pleads
in a soft voice as he gently turns her face towards him. “Did you
see the ghost again? You’re as white as a fucking sheet right
now.”

Myra slowly shakes her head. Not knowing
what else to do or say, she simply wraps her arms around Dylan and
buries her face in his neck. He hugs her close to his chest and
holds her quietly, not saying a word, just simply rubbing her back
gently. She’s so thankful for his ability to somehow sense exactly
what she needs. They stay that way for several minutes, giving her
some much needed time to get herself together. She presses her lips
against his neck before pulling back slightly.

“Thank you,” she whispers as she touches his
jaw. “I’m okay. I just…” She frowns, trying desperately to come up
with something to say other than the real issue at hand. She clears
her throat. “Did I tell you that Jackie is selling the bookstore?”
she blurts out, feeling ridiculous for coming up with something so
stupid.

“No.”

“Oh. I guess I forgot to tell you. Some
anonymous person offered her double what the place is worth. She’s
going to sell it and move back to Boise. I was just upset thinking
about it because she’s my only neighbor so it’s going to be kind of
lonely not having her around.”

A worried crease forms in Dylan’s forehead.
“Why would someone offer her double what the place is worth? And do
it anonymously? This is Nyssa. Jackie probably barely gets enough
business to pay her utilities. That just doesn’t make any damn
sense.”

“I don’t know. There are some weird people
out there. I thought she should go for it because those kinds of
offers don’t come along very often.”

Dylan picks up her hand, entwining her
fingers with his. “You gonna tell me the real reason you were upset
earlier?”

“Maybe later…?”

“Are you upset about going to Boise with me?
We can stay here if you want. I don’t give a shit. I’m not scaring
you off by taking you to see my family, am I?”

“Of course not, I want to go with you. You
have no idea what it means to me that you asked me. I can’t wait to
meet the rest of your family.”

Dylan gives her a half-smile. “I didn’t do
any dumb shit to upset you, did I? Because I know I’m prone to lots
of assholish behaviors,” he says, rubbing his thumb gently against
her fingers.

“No, you’ve been absolutely perfect. You’ve
done nothing wrong, at all. I’m fine, I promise.”

Dylan raises a skeptical eyebrow at her.
“All right,” he says in a not-so-convincing voice. “You know you
can tell me anything, right? I know I’m not a sensitive guy and
shit like that, but I can try to be.”

Myra nods and squeezes his hand.

“Are you packed yet? Where’s your bag?” he
asks as he looks around her bedroom.

“Oh. Susie called me earlier before I had a
chance to,” she says as she stands. “Just give me a few minutes to
throw some things together.” At some point, she needs to sneak
downstairs and search through her pantry while Dylan’s not looking
and find some Saltines to help quell her queasy stomach.

* * *

Dylan opens the door to his truck for Myra
and an idea hits him. “Hang on a sec,” he mumbles. Tossing their
bags into the backseat, he removes the papers he has piled on his
center console and pushes the console to an upright position so
Myra can sit in the middle close to him. Immediately, the sound of
pocket change, tools, and various other shit he has stored in the
console goes crashing to the bottom of it. “Fuck,” he groans in
frustration before he steps back.

“Uh oh,” Myra says. “That did not sound
good.”

“Oh well,” he says with a shrug. “It was a
shitty mess to begin with. I want you sitting close to me, and
don’t you dare give me hell over it.”

She laughs lightly. “So you like to cuddle
in your truck too?”

He holds his hand out and helps her into the
truck. “You’re damn right,” he teases before he pinches her lightly
on the ass, causing her to let out a cute little squeak.

Dylan’s trying to keep things light and
playful because he knows something’s bothering her. As he backs out
of her driveway, he can’t help but worry. The look on her face when
she was in her bedroom scared the hell out of him. He doesn’t know
why she won’t tell him what’s going on. He’s actually a little
pissed about it. He wants her to be comfortable enough to talk to
him about any shit that might be bothering her, which is pretty
fucking hilarious considering the fact that he’s the worst damn
communicator in the world. But he knows that was a huge issue with
him and Sabrina, and he doesn’t want to repeat that with Myra. So
he’s trying.

He smiles as he glances down at her. He
scoots a little closer, slipping his hand inside her thigh and
giving it a little squeeze. She smiles back up at him and tucks her
arm under his, entwining their fingers together and keeping their
hands in her lap. She snuggles up next to him and leans her head
against his shoulder. It feels so damn good having her so close to
him. It just feels right and comfortable. He feels content and
actually… happy. He frowns as he thinks about that. He’s not felt
anything even close to happiness in years because he always felt
guilty.

A pang hits him hard in the chest when Mel’s
little face flashes in his mind’s eye. He swallows hard. He doesn’t
know how to
not
feel guilty. Feeling guilty is all he’s
known for the last three years. He’s carried the guilt of not being
able to save his son, the guilt for letting his marriage fall apart
and even the guilt for still being alive. He hopes like hell that
this therapist can somehow help him make all this guilt and anger
go away for good. He doesn’t want to feel this way when he’s with
Myra. She deserves better from him.

“Do you miss living in Boise?” she asks.

“Yeah, sometimes… I don’t really miss the
town because I don’t mind living in Nyssa, but I do miss being
close to my family.”

He can feel Myra nod her head against his
shoulder.

“What about you?” he asks. “You lived in
Philly. Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes…” Myra sits up a little bit more,
but still stays snuggled close to him. “Of course I miss Susie the
most, but I loved living in Philly. There was so much to do in the
city. I loved the hustle and bustle and the frantic chaotic pace of
city living. When I first moved back here, I hated it so much that
I almost hopped on the first flight back.”

Dylan chuckles.

“But you know what? Moving here was the best
thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. Because if I hadn’t,” she
says softly, “I would have never met you.”

He glances down at her with her cheeks rosy
and her eyes sparkling, and her beauty completely takes his breath
away.

“Moving to Nyssa was the best goddamn
decision of my life,” he says. Her eyes shine as a beautiful smile
lights up her face. She grasps his bicep with her other hand and
pulls him closer to her as she rests her head back against his
shoulder again. A happy smirk touches his lips as his eyes focus
back on the road ahead of him.

* * *

“Are we there yet?” Myra asks with a giggle
before Dylan playfully pokes her in the ribs. “Don’t! I’m just
teasing!” she squeals as she jerks away from him.

Dylan stretches with a groan and then drapes
his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. “We’re about
five minutes away,” he says as he flips on his turn signal. “I
gotta warn you, though. I got a text from Natalie this morning, and
she said that mom and dad were already at her house. And my mom…”
He shakes his head. “She just goes way overboard. You know what
she’s capable of since you witnessed that little stunt she pulled
at the airport. I’m still pissed at her over that.”

“Don’t be mad at her. I loved it. I thought
it was adorable.”

“Yeah… adorably fucking annoying.”

Myra giggles. “It was cute to see you get
all embarrassed like you did.”

“I’m not cute,” he growls with a mean scowl
on his face causing Myra to burst out laughing.

“Okay. You’re not cute, you’re more like…”
She taps a finger against her chin as she stares at him, her brow
furrowing in concentration. She wants to shout out,
“The most
incredibly gorgeous, insanely attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes
on,”
but decides against it. Instead, she settles with
mumbling, “You’re
very
handsome.”

He pulls her closer, putting his lips near
in her ear. “Thanks, but you know I don’t give two shits about how
I look. But I know for a fact that you are seriously fucking
beautiful.”

Looking up at him, she can see the truth of
his words reflected in his eyes. She blinks quickly, trying to keep
the tears back. “Thank you,” she says, resting her head back
against his shoulder.

She can feel his lips in her hair. He sighs
loudly. “We’re here,” he announces in a not so thrilled voice. Myra
sits up and her eye catches sight of a work truck with
Lawson
& Sons Contracting
on the side of it parked in front of a
gorgeous two-story newly constructed home with sea foam green
siding and rustic cream and tan colored stonework. Dylan parks next
to the truck and tells her to stay put. He gets out and stretches
for a moment before he walks around to her side and grabs their
bags from the back before offering his hand to help her out of the
truck.

“How’s your back?” she asks.

“Sore.”

“Maybe I can massage it for you later.”

“Mm… I like that idea.”

After he shuts the door, he reaches down and
grabs her hand, squeezing it gently. “You ready for this?” he asks,
quirking an eyebrow at her.