Claimed on my Wedding Night (3 page)

“Hey babe,” he kissed me softly and turned and headed straight for the kitchen to make some coffee. I wondered if he could smell
him
on me. “What’s the panic? You look like you’ve just run here.”

“Not exactly,” I laughed nervously. “I’ve been going over things in my mind and I just want our day to be perfect.”

“It will be, don’t worry” He squeezed my shoulder to reassure me and placed a giant mug of coffee in front of me. “And even if it’s not, then no big deal. It’s just one day Amber, the most important thing is that we’re getting married, that we’re committing to each other.”

I took a sip from the cup, letting his last sentence hang there, suspended between us, while I ran my eyes over him. Somehow, he didn’t set off the wild lust in me that my stepfather did. He was good-looking in a bland sort of way. He had a little paunch and mousy hair that didn’t make me want to jump him. But he was kind to me, though we probably didn’t have very much in common.

“You’re stressing over nothing babe, it’ll all be fine. Look – I even did these up last night.” He handed me a page with his scribbles over it. On it, he mentioned how he was so happy to be marrying me because of my eyes and my collection of star wars figures. Well if that wasn’t something to base a lifetime together on, then what was!

“They’re good – right?”

“Sure, they’ll do” I bit my lip, still tense and I wondered if he could read my guilt. Was it pinned to me like a scarlet letter, registering me as an adulteress, though we weren’t married yet? It didn’t matter - if he found out what I did, he would never go through with it.

Eric moved closer to me, kissing my neck gently and ran his hands over my breasts. “You know, we’re nearly husband and wife. No one would find out if we had a little fun before the big day. You look like you could do with releasing some tension. I know I could help you relax.”

“I would know,” I replied gruffly. His early morning breath, combined with coffee, almost had me push him away. “You know I want to wait and you need to take a shower – you stink”

“Fine,” he murmured. “We’ll wait then.”

He marched up the stairs and I headed out the door, jumping into my car and took off, foot back down on the accelerator.

Four

Two weeks later, my bridesmaid was strapping me into my dress. She did know, I hadn’t told anyone what had happened - it would get out somehow and find its way to Eric, I was sure of it.

Charlie pushed the comb of my veil into my hair, securing it tightly and brought it down over my face. At least that would hide my nerves. It was then, for seemingly no reason, that my eyes filled with tears and they began streaming down my face. I tried to brush them off, so as not to ruin my makeup.

“Amber, what’s wrong?” she looked at me aghast, like I had just told her the world was about to end.

“Nothing, I’m fine… sorry” I tried to straighten myself out, holding back the tears, but something pent up inside me was looking for release.

“There obviously is something if you’re bursting into tears on your wedding day, just before you’re supposed to marry the love of your life.”

“It’s just nerves,” I replied, looking away.

Charlie pulled my chin to face her. “You don’t have to do this you know. If you don’t feel this is the right thing for you, you don’t have to go through with it.”

I shook my head and smiled through the tears, “No, I’m just being silly; of course I want to marry Eric.”

She looked at me for a long time, trying to work out if I was telling the truth while I sniffed back my tears. We were silent for what seemed like an age, before she finally said it.

“Is there someone else?”

I feigned shock, how could a good girl like me have someone else?

“No, of course not – I love Eric,” I said weakly.

“Hmmm, maybe you could convince yourself of that?” she replied, raising one eyebrow.

I stood up, wiped my face and grabbed my bouquet of pink roses. I was going to marry Eric.

Charlie opened the doors and led me to the vintage Rolls Royce where my stepfather was waiting. He sipped on a glass of scotch in the backseat. Daddy had said he would organize the cars and he had certainly pulled out all the stops. Holding out his hand, he helped me in to sit beside him and Charlie arranged my dress and veil neatly around me in a little nest.

“See you there,” she smiled, kissing me on the cheek and slamming the door shut.

My stepfather took my hand, squeezing it gently as we moved off. “So you’re really going through with this?” he sighed.

“I don’t think that’s what you’re supposed to say on the way to the church Daddy”

“I’m sorry, I’ll keep my mouth shut. You know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what you choose to do.”

We drove on, the driver taking the scenic route as we rounded mountains and fields overlooking the sea. Eric would probably be there now, waiting for me, waiting for his life to begin. Suddenly that wild impulse that had sought refuge in my stepfather, made me want to scream and I jumped up suddenly, my dress cascading around me. I slid open the roof window and pushed myself though and breathed deep. The wind flew past my cheek and messed my hair, but I didn’t care.

Daddy grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the seat and pulled me close, kissing me deeply on the lips.

“Daddy…I”

“No need to say anything,” he replied as we pulled up to the church, where everyone was already waiting. Rows of cars parked outside it told me the church would be full of expectant faces ready to assign their own hopes onto me.

Daddy stepped out and helped me after him, linking his arm through mine in a display of fatherly protection. We walked towards the huge heavy oak doors and I took a deep breath before he pulled them back and I stood at the end of a long aisle and a long tradition that stretched back like a long hand that had now caught me in its grip.

Charlie came running up behind me and fixed the back of my dress and veil, making sure everything was perfect and before I knew it, the huge church organ was bellowing above me, signalling that it was time for me to take that first step.

“I’m here with you honey” Daddy held my hand and together, we walked up the aisle. I had to steady myself against him; feeling unsure on my feet and the altar seemed a million miles away.

A huge crowd turned to face me as we began walking and once again, the tears began to flow. Kindly faces, huge grins and misty eyes followed me as I went at a snail’s pace; giving them the spectacle they had come for.

I saw Eric, up ahead and he turned to face me, looking handsome enough in his tuxedo but his sight didn’t lift me up the way Daddy did. He stretched out his hand and waited for me to come to him as I kissed Daddy’s cheek and he pulled away to go take his seat. Suddenly, I didn’t want to let go of his hand, I wanted him there with me and though I gripped the arm of his suit, he managed to unfurl my tentacle-like grip and sat down, leaving me to Eric.

I turned to my fiancé and he lifted my veil back, leaning in to kiss me warmly on the cheek. The priest greeted everyone and from that moment, the ceremony seemed to fly past in a blur. I recited my vows and before I knew it, Eric was holding my hand in his.

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

I paused for a moment, running the words over in my head. Had I understood their impact before? I knew Eric would be a wonderful husband, but he didn’t make my stomach flip or want to jump off a rock into the freezing sea just for the hell of it. Who am I? - why is this becoming an issue now?

I looked into his deep brown eyes and he squeezed my hand, waiting for my reply.

“I do”

I picked up the ring from the little pillow and rolled it between the pads of my fingers. Suddenly, the images of my stepfather, bringing me to new heights of pleasure came flooding back to me.

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

He didn’t hesitate for a second.

“I do”

I pushed the ring onto his finger and the priest smiled and got everyone to stand. “Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. What god has brought together, none may tear apart.”

The organ rattled again and blasted out the traditional wedding march that everyone had heard a million times before. Eric grabbed my arm and we sailed down the aisle, where outside a small crowd had gathered to cover us with confetti and rice. We ran down the steps and Eric pulled me in for a kiss before we made our way over to the car.

Eric was now sitting where Daddy had been and I felt a certain pull at my heart. It hit me that I now belonged to him.

“I can’t wait for tonight,” he grinned and kissed my ear. “Now we’re finally man and wife, I can show you my love like I haven’t been able to until now.”

I stared straight ahead. Something that I had been looking forward to for so long now held an empty dread. That night with my stepfather had changed everything. It was like he had pulled glasses away from my eyes and for a moment, I saw how the world truly was.

Why did everything have to be so complicated, that had been simple a couple of weeks ago. I bit my lip and tried not to let Eric see my eyes fill to the brim with tears again. I looked away and half-held my breath, willing the driver to speed up so I could jump out and get lost in the crowd of well-wishers.

Eric took my hand as we pulled up and placed a silver locket in my palm. “I wanted to wait until later, but now I have you to myself; I’ll give it to you here.”

He closed it around my neck, his eyes twinkling and he leaned in to kiss me. The car came to a stop and suddenly all of our friends and family surrounded the us and opened the door. I jumped out and got lost in the sea of people, pushing my way through them slowly and into the hotel where I could have a few minutes respite.

My dress suddenly seemed to be squeezing the life out of me and I knew I would have to go pose for pictures later, so I couldn’t just rip it off. I took a few deep breaths and looked around, trying to find an escape route, if even for a minute, but the place was full of people that wanted to congratulate me and tell me how wonderful the day was.

Eric suddenly appeared by my side and brought me out for pictures. I grabbed a glass of champagne first, emptying it in a few seconds and followed him out.

The next few hours passed by having the same conversations over and over - thank you for coming today, no I’m not pregnant, I don’t know when I will be. As I made my way around the room, Eric decided my strategy was a good one and threw back glass after glass of beer until he could hardly stand.

That was it for me, I’d had more than enough and I would have to find some means of escape, even for a short while. When everyone else was in the process of getting wasted, I saw my chance and slipped outside.

Our hotel was perched on the edge of some cliffs, with the sea crashing below, threatening to rise up high enough to soak me. There was a garden surrounded by hedges on three sides that looked out into the night. I crossed softly over the path, into the protection of its sculptured fortress, closing the gate behind me. 

It was filled with flowers and marble cupids that seemed to taunt me when I walked past, questioning why I wasn’t enjoying myself. The sheer drop over the cliff was rounded off by a stone balcony covered in roses and I breathed in their scent deeply and listened to the waves crashing loudly below. The night seemed alive and full of possibilities, ones that weren’t back in the hotel.

The sea sprayed my skin and I shivered in the night air, pondering how I could avoid going back inside, when I heard the rusty squeak of the gate swing open. As dark as the night was, I couldn’t make out who was walking towards me until he stepped under the light of the moon.