Christmas Confidential (19 page)

“No significant other? No one since your wife died?”

“I’ve tried...” he admitted reluctantly. “But sometimes being with someone when it’s not right is worse than being alone.”

He didn’t expect her to understand.

“I know what you mean.” And when he gazed into her eyes, he could see that she meant every word.

Dang, he wanted her desperately. Was it just because of the resemblance to his lost wife? What if they did make love and he ran across differences? In her body. In the way she made love. There were bound to be differences.

Could he stand to take that chance?

Sighing, she reached over and took his face in her hands. Forced to gaze deep into those dark green eyes again, he spotted a surprisingly empathetic sheen covering them.

“I need a hug. And you do, too, I’m thinking.” Sliding her arms around him, she leaned in and pressed him close.

It was too much. He couldn’t deny her. His arms came up, capturing her lush body as she melted into him.

God, this was such a good idea
. Shutting his eyes, he let himself go, inhaling her achingly familiar scent and reveling in her precious warmth. Leaning his head against the satin of her hair, he dreamed of another Christmas—long ago and far away.

Then, she turned her face and her lips brushed against his. His body responded, growing hard and pulsing with need. He wanted her, whoever she was, with a sudden heat that threatened to overwhelm them both.

God, this was such a bad idea
. But knowing that he might get hurt later didn’t much matter. Not now.

With his body throbbing, he took the kiss deeper. Her mouth was hungry. Hot. Wet. Wild. He swept his tongue inside her parted lips and tasted everything that reminded him of home.

Lordy mercy, but the woman could kiss. The deep humming groan, coming from low in her throat, told him she was every bit as turned on as he was. It took him back to the last time he and Alicia had blow-your-socks-off sex. Fantastic. Addictive. He remembered and his body responded as it always had. And he craved more—and more.

His groans matched hers as he pulled back slightly and filled his hands with her breasts. “Alicia, darlin’.”

She let out a small sob as she gave his chest a halfhearted shove. “This can’t happen. Please.”

He dropped his hands and shook his head to come out of the haze. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have...” Standing, he hung his head and tried to douse the flames.

The two women weren’t that much alike. But this one turned him on, and that was dangerous.

“No. It was mostly my fault,” she said wearily. “I’m just so tired—and scared. I think I’m going out of my mind.”

What was the matter with him? Here he was, taking advantage of a vulnerable woman in a tough situation. It rocked him to think he’d become a bully of the worst sort. He could barely stand to look at her now.

“Lie back and take that rest,” he said in the gentlest voice he could find, though it still sounded strangled. “We’ll finish our talk and look for a way out of here in a few hours. After the competition on the slopes. In the meantime, you might as well try to sleep.”

“I don’t think I can,” she argued. But she leaned against the pillows and closed her eyes.

He reached for a blanket and pulled it up over her legs. “There you go. I’ll keep watch so you don’t have to worry. Just close your eyes and relax.”

He moved around to the other side of the bed. “I’ll be right here.” Sitting on the bed, he kicked off his boots and rested his back against the headboard. “I’ll wake you if anything happens.”

Stupid. He should’ve known from the beginning this was not his deceased wife. In the entire time they’d been together, Alicia had never once shown any sign of fear or vulnerability. Her take-no-guff-from-anyone attitude was something that had made him curious, but he’d just assumed it came from being without a family for so long.

Elana was different. She reminded him of himself as a young boy. Back then he’d felt like an outcast even with a large family—lost when his mother had been murdered and his father wrongly sent to prison for the crime. His two older brothers, both also young, had been so busy trying to hold things together and support a ranch and six kids that they’d ended up ignoring the emotional needs of the rest of them.

He glanced over, admiring Elana’s peaceful face while she slept. So beautiful in the warm glow of light streaming through the window. Underneath her vulnerable exterior, had she come from the same place he’d come from?

Had Elana broken free of her family in the same too-forceful manner as he had on that long ago day when the bullies at school taunted him one time too many? He’d been so vulnerable back then, timid and alone while rumors spread like wildfire during the trial, giving the other kids lots of fodder to tease. According to rumor, his father had supposedly run the ranch into the ground. More, the word was he’d been cheating on his wife until the day she caught him in the act. None of it was true, but every word was like barbed wire to a young Gage’s injured heart.

He’d remained silent through everything. Not wanting to burden his brothers any more than they already were. He was
the good boy. The one that never gave anyone any trouble.

But he remembered the final straw like it was yesterday. His rolling emotions, the fear of being alone and the unreleased grief from losing his beloved mother, broke free that day and he’d sprung at the boy who’d been the worst bully of them all. No one could separate them and the fight turned ugly. When it was done, the other boy, bloodied and broken, had to be taken to the hospital. Gage was expelled.

That was when his aunt June came back to Chance and moved in. She tutored him for the remainder of the year and then convinced the principal that he’d repented and changed so he could enter high school the next year.

Meanwhile, his father was sentenced to life in prison, a younger brother died in a ranching accident, his sister had been kidnapped and his oldest brother had joined the army. But Gage never felt shy or vulnerable again. Breaking free had made him tough. And he’d made the decision that seeking justice and protection for others less fortunate would be his life’s mission.

Elana moaned in her sleep and he felt her fear like a living thing. Leaning over, he pulled her close to his chest and let his body heat along with his solemn promise of protection seep into her even as she slept. He would never let any harm come to her.

She might not be Alicia, but she was a woman in trouble. That’s all he needed to know.

* * *

Elana’s subconscious mind lifted her back to a Christmas from long ago on the wings of a dream.

The Austin night was as cold as the day had been long. She’d met Gage for a late night supper in a quaint bistro near the river.

“How was your day?” he asked as he reached for her hand across the table.

“Boring without you.” That was the truth but the lies tripped easily off her tongue for the rest of the conversation. “I toured the state capitol, did a little shopping and walked across the university’s campus.

“How was your day?” she asked brightly. “How’s the case coming?”

Gage grinned at her and began the retelling of how he’d almost wrapped up his case by getting a line on the man who’d scammed an elderly woman out of her retirement account. Elana sipped her wine and nodded in all the appropriate places.

She was almost ready. After carefully laying down the clues for her husband to find so he could crack his case and put the Russian mobster responsible for this scam behind bars, she’d spent the rest of the day making her own plans.

Out of time, she knew she couldn’t spend even one more wonderful night with Gage. Meeting him here in public was pushing the envelope, but she’d had to see him. Had to set up the scenario for her accidental drowning scene.

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured as he leaned over and seared a kiss across her lips. “I can’t wait to get you back to the hotel room.”

How was she ever going to do without him? He was the most sensual man she’d ever met. And the most plainly decent human being she knew. The last year with him had changed her. Made her wish she could be the person he thought she was.

Because of his influence, she’d even changed her ways enough to secretly help solve his investigations. After being one of them, she understood the Texas underworld crowd and knew where to point the clues, something she’d never thought she would do.

But what if there were no lies between them? How would their lives be different then?

Sighing, she smiled at him across the table while thinking that it was just as well she’d begun their relationship with lies. Gage had a strong knight-in-shining-armor complex and would want to protect her instead of running from the danger. Silly man. Regular people just aren’t capable of standing their ground against an all-powerful and unseen enemy.

This morning that point had been brought home to her with a bang. As she’d carefully planted the last clue to lead Gage and the police to their man, she’d been spotted by the very Russians she left behind long before she met and married him.

She was well aware of what being seen by those creeps meant. It was time to go again. Start another new life. She’d thought of going to Gage for help, but she couldn’t let him get involved in her danger or he might die trying to save her. So she’d come up with a plan to die first.

But she was still devastated about not having him in her life after tonight. It hurt just to consider living without him. Hurt so badly that she couldn’t think about it right now.

Instead, while they ate their light bistro meal, she let her mind take her back to last night. The last night they would ever have together.

He’d ordered room service so they could spend more time in bed, and that had been fine by her. Being with Gage was all the sustenance her body needed. She’d thought she might starve without him.

“Here you go, darlin’.” He fed her the last of a chocolate chip cookie while nuzzling her neck.

Man sure knew how to get her back into bed.

Hooking her arms around his neck, she pressed her hips against his and rocked. Which was all the invitation he needed. He raised his head and kissed her, with those amazing lips of his blazing hot trails and tasting twice as spicy as their meal.

The fireworks between them really began as he held the kiss and lifted her off her feet, taking them both back to bed. She couldn’t contain a giggle as he fumbled around, stripping the robe off her shoulders and shoving his boxers down and out of the sheets.

But the laughter soon died in her throat, the victim of her humming moans of pleasure. His clever fingers danced along her body while his mouth came down on the tight peak of a nipple—and she was a goner.

Entwining her legs with his, she got as close as she could but it was still not close enough. “Please, now,” she said in a breathless voice she barely recognized. “We’ll do all the other stuff—but later. Right now I need...”

“Elana, wake up, darlin’.”

Gage’s insistent demand irritated her. Before anything else happened, she wanted to go on with what they were...

“What?” Opening her eyes, she saw him hovering over her trying to untangle their bodies, and realized where she was. And who she was—Elana Kelly. “Oh, I was dreaming. But...” She clutched at his shoulders trying to hold him to her.

“It’s time to get up,” he mumbled as he tried backing away from her arms. “This—is not a good idea.”

“Why not?” She wanted him so badly now she thought she might die of it.

“Because we’d both be thinking of someone else. This—” he waved a free hand between their bodies and tried scooting backward “—is just a matter of coincidence. It’s not real.”

“Wait.” She nuzzled as close as he would let her and thrust her breasts against his chest.

What was so wrong with having one more blazing night to remember? Who would it hurt? “Let’s just close our eyes. And we’ll pretend to be whoever we want.”

Chapter 6

A
lready as turned on as he’d been in years, Gage wondered why not? Why not spend a few hours pretending, if she was willing?

The lust he felt for her, this lush woman, was strong. Looking down into her eyes, he realized she was watching him with serious intent. Waiting for him to say something.

“I don’t need to pretend,” he said as he moved against her and pressed his erection into her belly. “But I didn’t plan for this to happen. And I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of the situation.”

“It’s me that’s taking advantage, love.” She kissed him again, wild and hungry. “And I didn’t plan it, either.”

Out of breath, he lifted his head. “Seriously, Elana. Be sure this is what you want. Another kiss like that one and it will be too late to stop. And I have nothing in mind beyond one night.”

She gripped his shoulders and tugged him down to meet her lips. “Good,” she whispered against him.

And then it was too late.

The next kiss was hot and amazing. Fiery and wet at the same time. He felt such a hunger in her, as though she’d been starving for his touch. It stoked his own needs, his own hunger, to a fevered pitch.

Leaning up on one elbow, he slowly unbuttoned her blouse and laid her open to his gaze. Her bra was white lace, more utilitarian than erotic, but he thought it was the sexiest thing he’d seen in longer than he could remember.

“Hold on.” She sat up and removed the impediments to his touch, the shirt and bra, while he sat back and indulged himself in the sight of her exposed breasts.

What a beauty she was. Lush, full peaked breasts, with peach-colored nipples just begging to be fondled and adored. At the moment, he didn’t want to consider that her breasts seemed fuller than the way he remembered Alicia’s. This wasn’t about Alicia anymore. He only wanted to fill his hands and eyes with the woman lying beneath him.

A masterpiece on canvas could never match her intensity and simmering looks.

She tugged at his shirt buttons. “Too many clothes between us, to my way of thinking. Take it off.”

Screw the buttons. He reached down and jerked the hem up and over his head. “Yes, ma’am.”