Christmas Confidential (21 page)

Something snapped inside him. “I didn’t know you, but you knew everything about me?” He pushed her against the wall and got right in her face.

Her eyes widened again—until she looked down between them and saw a truth he couldn’t hide. “I promise you, Gage,” she said, reaching for him. “I didn’t leave because I was unhappy. Not with you. You made my life wonderful for the very first time.”

“You haven’t answered the most important question,” he snarled, dragging her lush body flush against him.

“Forgive me for the lies.” Looping her arms around his neck, she went up on tiptoes and rubbed her breasts against his chest. “Are you asking about the sex? The sex between us was always the best. That hasn’t changed if that’s what you want to know.”

He grabbed her bottom, lifted her up. “Put your legs around me.”

She did what he asked, reaching between them to position him to her opening. “Yes, Gage. Yes, I want this, too.”

Flexing his hips, he plunged into her. “Tell me,” he demanded against her mouth.

He buried himself deep in her waiting heat. “Did you ever love me?” The question was nearly lost as he planted kisses along her jawline and squeezed her bottom to dive in even deeper.

Her head rolled and she started to moan. “Gage...”

“Answer me,” he ground out as he held himself still. “Did you
ever
really love me? Or was it all a lie?”

“Please.” She rocked her hips against his. “Now.”

This wasn’t just about sex for him. It was about healing. And about love. And most of all about possession.

“Did. You. Love. Me?”

“I loved you,” she gasped. “Oh, God, how I loved you.”

His mind went blank. He began pumping into her, catching her screams in his mouth and relishing every second. When she squeezed her thighs together, the earth stood on its head.

Her orgasm was so powerful it took him right along for the craziest ride of his life. Moments later as she continued convulsing around him, he felt his knees buckle.

Still breathing heavily, he lowered her feet so she could reach the floor. But he left his hands on her hips to keep them both steady. Leaning his forehead against the wall, he felt utterly destroyed.

A few seconds later, she stirred and lightly pushed on his chest. “Now we both need a shower.”

He moved aside but hung on to a towel bar for balance.

“I want you to know,” she began as she turned on the water. “I still love you. More than ever.”

He reached for her again, ready for a repeat performance.

She held him at arm’s length. “But I must tell you the whole truth. I can’t live with the lies between us. I’ll be out in a moment. Just wait.”

Feeling like a complete imbecile, he said, “I’ll be here. But nothing says I’ll believe a thing you have to say.”

Chapter 7

E
lana had never faced anything this difficult. As she turned away from Gage and stepped into the shower, the look on his face, that combination of longing and regret, cost her something. It ripped a large chunk of her heart out and stomped it into dust.

Dear Lord, she felt dirty. But no amount of washing would take away the stains of her betrayal. She was so ashamed of the way she’d used him—not only during the night for sex, but also for their entire relationship. He and his isolated ranching community in west Texas had made wonderful ports in the storm—for a while. But she’d married him knowing full well that it wouldn’t last. It couldn’t. They were too different.

So, she’d begun by lying to him. And she planned on one more lie. However, this one would be a lie by omission. If she told him everything...

No, that wasn’t an option.

She was surprised he hadn’t asked the moment he realized who she was. But there hadn’t been time. Not yet. He was probably still in shock. Maybe if she dressed and told him most of the story in a hurry, she could hold off on the inevitable.

Listening to him run water in the sink, she quickly ducked under the shower, soaped up and rinsed off. Ten minutes later she got out to dry off and he’d already left the bathroom.

With no choice but to go into the next room dressed only in one large, fluffy towel around her middle, she grabbed a hand towel for her hair, lifted her chin and prayed for a miracle reprieve. When she opened the bedroom door, she found him fully dressed and looking out the window with his back to her.

“Are you willing to listen?” she asked, hoping he had calmed down.

“I’ll listen. But how will I know what you’re saying isn’t another lie?”

She couldn’t do this while naked, so she scavenged around inside her duffel for underwear, heavy jeans and a sweater. “You’ll know because as much as you don’t know
who
I am, you do know
me
. The me inside. Let your heart decide what’s the truth.”

He turned and folded his arms across his chest. “Go on.”

After dressing and pulling the sweater over her head, she found her knees were shaking too badly to keep standing. With the hand towel still wrapped around her hair, she made her way to the table and sat in one of the chairs. Gage remained standing, looming above her.

“I’ll begin by saying that my heritage
is
American Rom—gypsy.” She waited for his look of disgust, but it didn’t come. “But for some reason I was always the smart child. So smart that when my teachers begged my father to let me continue schooling past the time most young Roma girls quit, he gave in and let me go on. Little girls in our community are usually destined to be housewives—the heads of the household. But my father loves me very much and somehow knew I needed to be different.”

“Your father... Does he know where you are?” Gage took a step toward her.

“No. At least, I don’t think he does. But these men—they may be part of the same Russian mob.” Folding her arms around her waist to keep herself steady, she went on. “As my high school graduation approached, the talk turned to college. But no one in my family ever went to college before. Still, my father could see it would be best for me. Unfortunately, the family couldn’t afford school. And we’re not the kind who would borrow money.”

“Not even for...”

“Never. That’s just the way it is with us.” She sighed and looked away, not able to watch Gage’s stern, unbelieving expression. “Something happened around that time. A Russian Rom family immigrated to our town. One of their sons was about my age. My mother and his mother decided to arrange our marriage like all Roma elders do for their children.”

“So that part wasn’t a lie?” Gage took the seat across from her.

“All true, I’m afraid.” She felt her body caving in on itself as she came to the ugly part of the story. “But what I didn’t mention was that this Russian family was heavily into criminal activities and had become wealthy. It seems they’d been involved with the Russian mob back in their homeland. And yet, they still expected a dowry from our family.”

She let the sad smile spread across her face but went on. “We had nothing. Less than nothing. I didn’t want the marriage, anyway. But my father went to the boy’s father and struck a deal. Our family would work for their family, doing whatever they wanted us to do, until we could pay off the dowry.”

“Becoming criminals? Your father sold his soul so you could be married to a guy you hardly knew?”

“He also promised to pay for a couple of years of college for me, but yeah, that’s the way it was. Nice story, right? It’s one of the reasons I seldom think about my past. And I’ve never talked about it to anyone before.”

“But your friend Brendan, the one from the store and the one who has your child, he knows?”

“He knows. He’s a distant relative on my mother’s side and isn’t involved in any criminal activity. I went to him for help because I knew he had connections and wouldn’t tell my parents.”

“So who is it that’s after you?”

Without answering him directly, she whimpered, “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have wanted an education so badly. My mother thought marrying into wealth would ensure my happiness. Instead, I’ve ruined our whole family.”

“Who has been shooting at us?” His eyes narrowed on her.

He was right. He deserved an answer before they parted ways. “I would imagine it’s the Russian Roma mob—in addition to my ex-fiancé, or my own father and his brothers.”

“Let me get this straight. You claim your old
fiancé
...” The way he drew out that word pained her, the same as if he’d stabbed her with a knife. “...and your father are after you. Why? Why after all this time would your father want to kill you?”

Drying her hair with the towel, she knew it was nearing time for her to leave. “It probably isn’t my father’s doing. He would never want to see me hurt. But his mob boss may be making him go along. You have to understand...”

Dragging in air, she raced ahead. “In the gypsy culture, especially with the Russians, you can never go back on a deal. Anyone who does has to be taught a lesson.”

“You sure it isn’t anything else?” His voice had grown even darker, if that was possible.

Standing, she finished her hair with the towel as best she could and slipped into her shoes. “What do you mean?”

“You didn’t steal anything from them, did you?”

Oh, man, where was he going with this? “No, of course not. I may be related to criminals, but I’m not into petty theft.”

Scrunching up his mouth in a frown, he tilted his head. “So all this time, even while we were a couple, you knew they would be coming after you eventually.” Not a question.

She answered him, anyway. “Yes, I suppose that’s right. But I thought we were safe at your ranch. I thought...”

“And you didn’t bother to tell me?” He interrupted her with a snarl. “Didn’t think I was important enough to know about the danger?”

Oh, Gage
. “I didn’t want you to worry. I thought I’d lost them while we were living at the Chance ranch. But then that day in Austin—they spotted me. Finally figured out where I was. I knew I would have to run again.”

“Still without telling me. Was I in danger?”

She shook her head with as much force as humanly possible. “No. Never. But I knew you soon would be if we stayed together. They’re too strong. You can’t beat them. All you can do is run, and I knew you would never accept that.”

Picking up her discarded clothes from last night, she stuffed them in her bag and reached for her coat. She had to get out of this room
now
.

Just as she reached for the door handle he came toward her. “You’re leaving without finishing our conversation? Without saying goodbye? I should’ve known.”

With the door already open, she turned back but had to fight off the tears. “I’m sorry, Gage. It has to be this way. I’ve been trying to tell you. We can’t stay together. I need to leave.”

“And you don’t want me to come? To help?”

“You can’t. You’ll die if you try. There’s too many of them. You need to leave town this morning. Quickly. Quietly. Or you might as well let them kill me now because if they hurt you, it will kill me, anyway. I do love you. I never lied about that.”

He heaved a heavy sigh and stepped back. “So, you’ve done all this—faked your death, gone into hiding and lied about everything just to keep me safe?”

“I haven’t lied about everything.” Now her voice was cracking and her heart felt like someone hit it with a sledgehammer. “I did lie about some things. But it
was
to keep you safe. And I do love you.”

He took another step in her direction and she panicked. “But I don’t want you around.” Her voice rose as she fought to find a way to keep him alive. “I can handle this alone, don’t you understand? Forget about me. Go home. But be careful about leaving. And when you get back to Texas, go on with your life. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

She dashed through the door in such pain it left her running doubled-over. How was she ever supposed to survive this?

Only two things kept her moving. Kept her flying down the stairs. Gage would be safe—and alive. And she would stay alive, too—for their daughter.

* * *

No, dang it.
Gage grabbed his gear and went out the door after her. She was not leaving him behind before she answered
all
his questions. And they hadn’t even touched on the most important one.

Since he’d seen her last, she’d had a child. And she’d given birth to that child within twelve months after her faked death.

He was fairly sure the little girl could not be his daughter. Even as much as she’d lied, that was one thing Alicia would’ve told him. Or he would’ve just known that she’d been pregnant when they were together. He
knew
who she was inside. She’d been right about that. So that meant there had to be some other man in her life within weeks of her leaving. Someone she’d run to when she ran away from him.

That knowledge hurt. Hurt badly, because the two of them had talked about having kids someday. He’d been all for it but she’d wanted to wait.

Since the moment this morning when he’d first been sure of her identity, he’d wanted to ask the question. He’d hesitated then because he was afraid of the answer. And later because he’d been so shaken, and because he’d had his hands full—of her.

But she couldn’t just announce that she still loved him and not give him a chance to get all his questions answered. She couldn’t just tell him that she’d left him behind to protect him. That was bull. Apparently she excelled at lying. But he had already made up his mind that one fact, at least, would be answered truthfully before this was over.

He saw her darting away from the bottom of the open stairwell and chased down the stairs to catch up. Despite what she’d said, what she thought, he could do a better job at protection than she would do on her own. They’d beat the threat together.

And then she would give him the truth about the child’s father before it was his turn to walk away from her—for good.

After entering the lobby at the bottom of the stairs, he couldn’t find her. He gave the large open space a thorough looking-over and finally spotted her, inching along the wall toward the front desk and a bank of phones. She must be trying to make a call without being seen.