Christian Domestic Discipline 101 (4 page)

THE DIAPER POSITION

The
diaper position
is not as common and disliked by most wives. I am only going to mention it because it is good when a wife refuses to lie face down or bent over the bed.

Basically, the husband just raises her legs and holds them up toward her chest, restraining her in such a way that best exposes her bottom to be spanked. Though this position is humiliating and humbling, her facial expressions are fully visible, she is unable to clench her buttocks, and there is bodily contact between spanker and spankee.

The disadvantages are, of course, that it is humiliating and not usually liked by many wives, probably because she feels her private parts are more exposed in this position. Also, the husband’s leverage is decreased by the need to hold her legs.

OTHER POSITIONS

As with implements, spanking positions are only limited by the imagination of the couple. A husband might opt to give his wife a sound spanking by bending her over, holding her upper body under his left arm while his right hand does the deed. He might require her to kneel on hands and knees. He might have her lean over and grab her knees. In whatever position, it is best to ponder beforehand the pros and cons of which you will use.

Spanking for Punishment

THE MINDSET

One of the most common things you often hear from a wife who is new to CDD is, “Wow! Spankings really hurt!” Even though they can imagine the pain of a spanking or maybe even remember it from childhood, it seems the first correctly-given punishment spanking received as a woman always comes as quite a shock. Maybe wives expect that since they’re “grown-ups” now, it won’t hurt as badly, or maybe they think they have a higher pain tolerance than they actually do. For whatever reason, wives shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking a punishment spanking is going to be easy. They rarely are.

The wife should prepare her heart beforehand that she will not plead or argue or otherwise try to wriggle out of a spanking her husband feels she deserves. To do so is to make his job harder. Many women ask their husbands for a CDD relationship, only to “back out” when an actual spanking has been earned. They derail the CDD relationship before it even starts.

Most CDD wives hate punishment spankings. They look at them as a necessary evil, knowing they need them but not necessarily wanting them. It is important for a wife to resolve beforehand to bravely accept punishment when it is earned.

The husband should be prepared to give his wife a spanking that hurts. Otherwise, he is wasting his time. He needs to be prepared to ignore her pleas and give her an appropriate spanking if he wants the CDD relationship to be effective.

The husband needs to be consistent with discipline, especially at first. If he and his wife have agreed on rules and consequences, he needs to be sure he follows through with the consequences when his wife breaks a rule. Otherwise the relationship can be very frustrating both for him and for her. After the relationship is well established, then the husband might decide to extend grace to his wife under certain circumstances, but this is only after a pattern of consistency has been the norm.

It helps if the husband puts a bit of thought into punishment spankings before one is earned by his wife so that he is prepared to deliver one when appropriate. He needs to be educated as to spanking positions and implements, as well as some of the emotions a woman goes through while being spanked. With experience he will learn how to best discipline his own wife… what implements he prefers, how he can best restrain her if necessary, and her body language during a spanking that will tell him how effective it is.

And no matter what the wife has done to earn the spanking, the husband should not administer it while he is angry, even if she has to wait several hours for him to cool off.

PREPARATION

Once a husband has decided he will punish with spanking, all the decisions are in his hand. The wife should be silent and accepting of whatever he will do. Wives, that means no begging, no wheedling, and no arguing your case. I know this is hard, but remember, you have agreed to this lifestyle. Accept that you will be punished.

A husband has to choose first where and when he will spank his wife. If there are kids in the house, it might be best to wait until they are asleep or out of the house. He might even choose to take her to the garage or out in the storage shed. Often, a husband will send his wife to their destination ahead of time so she can prepare herself to receive punishment. Wives, this is a good time to reflect on what you’ve done wrong and pray for a submissive heart.

A husband must choose whether he will require his wife to be bare, partially bare, or fully clothed. Some men prefer their wives remain clothed so he is not sexually tempted while attempting to punish her. Others prefer she be bare so that he can see the effect the spanking is having on her flesh.

He needs to put some thought into the implement(s) he will use and the position he will require from her.

Finally, he should give consideration to the routine or ritual of the spanking, if any. Some men require their wives to wait on their punishment bending over the bed or standing in the corner. Some require she bare her own bottom; some prefer to do it themselves. Some men will lecture for a great while before, during, and after the spanking. Others do not. The entire routine is in the husband’s hands.

PUNISHMENT

The purpose of a spanking is to teach a lesson. If it is not sufficiently painful, you have missed the whole point. A husband should learn techniques that maximize the physical and psychological impact of a spanking, but first they should master their own emotions. Husbands, cement in your mind the reason you’re giving the spanking to begin with, and determine to make the punishment severe enough so that there is no chance she will feel the crime was worth committing.

Since a warm up decreases the pain of a spanking, many men do not give one in punishment. On the other hand, since a warm up decreases bruising, some men do. Regardless, he should be aware that the first stroke of a punishment spanking is supremely important to the psyche of the spankee and should be administered in a way as to make an impression. If he plans to give a warm up, he can ease up a bit after that first stroke or two, but he should consider starting the spanking off with a good, hard lick that will get her heart pumping.

In order to be safe, always confine your spanking to the
safe-spanking zone
, which begins at the crest of her buttocks (the highest rounded peak) to about halfway down her upper thighs. These areas are usually well-padded enough to accept punishment safely. Never spank high on the crease as this can cause damage to the
coccyx
or the
spine
. Avoid the sides where the kidneys are located, and avoid the sensitive genital areas. In order to minimize bruising, try to spread your strokes evenly around the area you plan to warm.

The most sensitive area on a woman’s buttocks is called her
“sit-spot”
and is the lower portion of her bottom just above where her thighs meet the cheeks of her buttocks. Spanking this area is safe and highly effective, and provides occasions to remember her lesson afterwards every time she sits.

METHODS

Methods of spanking might vary based on the misbehavior being punished, privacy, time restraints, and other variables. For example:

Just before leaving for a dinner date with friends, Janice mouths off to her husband for the third time that evening. He quickly turns her around and lands six blistering swats to the seat of her silky black dress before they walk out the door.

Since the kids are upstairs playing, Jared takes his wife to the garage where he sets the seat of her jeans on fire with his doubled up belt. Quick but painful, the spanking taught his wife a valuable lesson in obedience.

Cindy fails to call to let her husband know she’ll be meeting a friend for dinner, and since her cell phone battery is dead, he has worried over her for the past hour. Once she arrives home, she spends a highly uncomfortable half hour alternately being spanked and standing in the corner with her reddened bottom on display.

Melody has earned twenty strokes of the paddle for coming home with a speeding ticket. While bending over her husband’s knee, she is made to count each one out loud.

After being caught in a lie to her husband, Joanna is spanked with a hairbrush, a paddle, and a switch. Between each implement, her husband lectures her on the evils of dishonesty.

The scenarios could go on and on but you get the picture. Husbands should do what they can do when they can do it. Not every punishment has to be well-organized. Some might be quick and dirty. The thing to remember is to be consistent. Address
every
transgression. If you decide to extend grace, tell her so, but don’t just ignore bad behavior. That is not only frustrating for you, but for your wife as well.

How Much Is Enough?

One of the most frequent questions from a husband new to CDD is how hard or how long he should spank his wife, and like most other things with CDD, there is no set answer. Consequently, many husbands will make the mistake of going too soft rather than too severe. This is endearing to his wife, yet it often leaves her feeling dissatisfied or frustrated.

As stated before, a spanking needs to be sufficiently painful that its remembrance evokes enough nervous feelings in a wife to cause her to avoid misbehavior in the future. If she feels the misbehavior is worth the spanking, she may give in to temptation if the dread is not strong enough. Fear of a punishment spanking, on the other hand, can be a strong enough deterrent to help her overcome her sin nature and remain obedient to her husband.

Many husbands will judge the force and length of the spanking by the appearance of their wife’s skin, but this alone is not the best indication. A woman whose skin tone is light may not be sufficiently punished before her skin turns bright pink. A woman with a darker skin tone might be overly punished before hers even begins to pinken.

Some husbands feel their wives should cry every time they are punished, but this is not necessarily so either. Some women do not cry easily and can be deeply repentant without tears. Other women may cry at the mere thought of being spanked. Tears are highly individualized. This is another area where a husband should know his own wife. If she cries at the drop of a hat, he might expect to spank her well beyond the point of tears. If, on the other hand, she rarely cries, she might have well learned her lesson without tears.

Should a husband stop spanking when his wife begins pleading or begging? Probably not. Most women are going to want to end the spanking well before she is in sufficient enough pain for it to be effective. What if she is angry? That is definitely not the time to end the spanking.

The key for a husband to knowing how long and hard to spank is in knowing his own wife. Watch her body language. Is she squirming and struggling to stay in position? If not, she’s probably not been punished sufficiently. Is she fighting you or refusing to obey? She’s definitely not there yet. Is she red, sobbing, and clutching the covers in her fists? She might have had enough. Is she suddenly still, trembling, and only making whimpering noises when earlier she was screaming at the top of her lungs and thrashing about on the bed? Maybe she’s learned her lesson. It’s up to you to decide.

Emotional Stages During a Spanking

Sometimes it helps to know the emotional stages many women go through during a spanking, but as stated before, every woman is different and will not go through every stage and not necessarily in the order listed here.