Checking It Twice (26 page)

He dragged in a deep breath and released it wearily. “When I was fifteen years old, I lost my virginity to my stepmother.” He waited for his nausea to abate before risking a peek at Jana’s face. Her expression hadn’t changed one iota from the gentle, loving one she’d worn two seconds ago.

He sucked in another fortifying breath, steeling himself, before freeing the lock guarding the most shameful period of his life. No gory detail was spared. From the very first time Madison discovered his propensity for voyeurism when she’d caught him blushing like crazy after accidentally witnessing her naked in the pool, and then later using his weakness to seduce him. It wasn’t until he spilled the part about his father kicking him out after learning about the two-year affair that Jana interrupted him.

Her expression fiery with temper, she gasped. “How could he do such a douche-bag thing? Clearly Madison seduced you, and you’re his son, for God’s sake.”

“Sweetness, I’ve said the same thing a million times.” Nick squeezed Kevin’s arm. “Take our word for it—your dad is a fucking asshole.”

“I’m not entirely innocent. I did all those things behind his back. That makes me a pretty lousy son.”

Nick shook his head. “No, it makes you human. Capable of fucking up, just like the rest of us. Madison was an adult. Twice your age. Plenty of people would consider what she did far more despicable than you giving in to her.”

Kevin wanted to agree with everything they were saying, but he’d held on to this guilt for so long, it was tough to let go. What if his father was right and Kevin was twisted and sick? Normal people wouldn’t have affairs with their stepmothers. Normal people wouldn’t get off on watching others have sex. Normal people wouldn’t have sex in a room full of strangers and fucking come like crazy.

Gut cramping, he stared at his feet before giving Jana a tortured glance. “I know these sex games we’ve played at are exciting to you right now. But it goes deeper than that for me, Jana. I’ve tried so many times to beat the voyeurism, but I can’t.”

She cupped his jaw. “The people who’ve told you it’s wrong and something you need to beat are judgmental assholes. Never be ashamed of who you are.”

He swallowed. “I don’t know how to feel anything but shame about it.”

She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned up to kiss him. “Then let Nick and me show you that we’re in this with you for the long haul. We’ll never judge you. Or leave you.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “Please give us a chance.”

The albatross of his guilt still hung heavy around his neck. She slipped her fingers through his before leading him down the hall to his bedroom. He hesitated in the doorway. Addicted as he was to his voyeurism, it didn’t hold a candle to the crushing, desperate need he had for the woman next to him. To love someone this fiercely…it scared the living shit out of him.

Because if the day came when she started seeing him as the dysfunctional mess that he was…

Apparently sensing his inner turmoil, she began gently removing his clothes, pausing every now and then to soothe him with reassuring kisses. After dispensing with her sweater and jeans, she pulled him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. Lacing their fingers again, she kissed him sweetly. He heard Nick enter the room, but Jana kept him preoccupied with her drugging kisses.

The mattress dipped as Nick settled beside them. “You belong with us, Kev. You damn well know moving to Vegas isn’t the answer. All these years of running—it doesn’t mean shit when the person you’re running from is yourself.”

Before Kevin could formulate a reply, Jana distracted him again by wiggling, brushing his belly with her slick pussy. She took the condom that Nick handed her and sheathed Kevin’s cock with the latex. She eased onto his shaft with a blissful sigh and rocked her hips. Something soft and braided snaked around Kevin’s inner thigh and wound along the outside of Jana’s. It took a second for Kevin to realize that Nick was binding them together. He stiffened. In more ways than one. He opened his mouth to demand what Nick was doing, but the only thing that came out was a raspy groan when Jana twisted her hips.

“There’s something very symbolic about bindings. Releasing control, allowing yourself to be tied up or
to
someone…it can be freeing.” Nick pulled the opposite end of the rope underneath Kevin’s ass and deftly bound his and Jana’s other leg. His grin wicked, Nick wound both rope ends around his fists as he settled behind Jana and worked his cock into her pussy too, stretching her full. “Plus, it’s sexy as hell.”

Kevin’s heart pounded. He understood the message Nick and Jana were delivering. He’d have to be fucking obtuse not to. Everything inside him yearned to be an integral part of this bond. To finally just let himself go and trust his heart.

Jana stroked his jaw again, and he kissed her fingers when they brushed over his lips. As she ground into him, more tears glimmered in her eyes. “Never be ashamed. I love you exactly the way you are.”

Her words broke something loose inside him, and he felt his own eyes filling with moisture. A thick layer of the shame that’d crusted around his psyche peeled away, and he whispered the words that’d been buried in his heart for the last five years. “I love you, Jana.”

And with those words, another layer of shame flaked off his soul, disappearing with the demons who’d kept him shackled to his guilt.

There would be no more running. Not when his entire future was right here with him.

Epilogue

Kevin read over his formal letter of resignation. Since technically he’d never started the job at the Cinders, he wasn’t sure if resignation was the appropriate word to use. Regardless, he figured the polite notice that he was regretfully declining their offer was infinitely more politically correct—and less inflammatory—than Nick’s suggestion of typing
Take this job and shove it.

Once he was satisfied that everything looked okay, he sent the email off into cyberspace. That task completed, he opened another blank email. This one was much harder for him to compose, so much so his fingers shook on the keys. It’d been Jana’s idea to do this one. She was convinced it’d be a big step in the healing process for him. He supposed she could be right. Still, he stared at the blinking cursor for what seemed like an eternity.

He closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath. Finally the words came. It was only one line. But it was one he believed to the depths of his soul.

Real men aren’t afraid of their emotions, or being true to themselves.

He punched in his father’s email address and winged that one off too. In the coming days he’d likely have a lot more to add, but for now it was enough. Already his heart felt…free. Unburdened. Jana was one smart and wonderful woman to realize the power behind such a simple act.

Logging off his computer, he returned to her bedroom, where she and Nick were waiting for him. They both looked at him expectantly, and he nodded before climbing in the bed. Jana kissed him and stroked his hair tenderly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Nick squeezed his shoulder. “Me too.”

He glanced at his best friend. “I appreciate your support, so long as you don’t get ideas about kissing me too.”

“What? I’ll have you know my lips are kissably soft.”

“They are,” Jana agreed with an enthusiastic nod.

“I’ll take your word for it, sweetheart.”

Her eyes took on the dreamy quality that always threatened to make him putty at her feet. “I love it when you call me that.”

“Good. Because I’m going to call you it a lot.”

Jana bit her lip. “Does this mean no more running?”

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.” He and Nick had agreed to move into Jana’s house, and he intended to keep his promise of making this relationship work.

“Damn, are you saying I bought these restraints for no reason?” Leaning forward, Nick held up the Velcro cuffs attached to the slatted headboard.

Kevin’s cock surged to life. “Well, maybe we could think of another use for those.”

Chuckling, Nick slapped one cuff around Kevin’s wrist and the other he banded to Jana’s. “I heard you two don’t mind sharing.”

“Obnoxious asshole.” Despite Kevin’s grousing, his cock thickened even more as Nick tossed him a condom.

Locking gazes with Jana, Kevin stroked her cheek. He knew she could see right into his soul. It didn’t matter, because he knew what she saw was the same reflection he glimpsed within her. Love.

About the Author

At the ripe age of seven, Jodi Redford penned her first epic, complete with stick-figure illustrations. Sadly, her drawing skills haven’t improved much, but her love of fantasy worlds never went away. These days she writes about fairies, ghosts and other supernatural creatures, only with considerably more heat.

She has won numerous contests, including The Golden Pen and Launching a Star.

When not writing or working the day job, she enjoys gardening and way too many reality-television shows.

Currently residing in Michigan with her husband and overgrown lapdog, she is a member of RWA national and Greater Detroit Romance Writers of America.

She loves to hear from readers. You can email her at
[email protected]
and visit her online at
www.jodiredford.com
.

Look for these titles by Jodi Redford

Now Available:

Taking Liberty

Light My Fire

Vanessa Unveiled

The Naughty List

Cat Scratch Fever

Breaking Bad

That Old Black Magic

That Voodoo You Do

The Seven Year Witch

Maximum Witch

Getting Familiar With Your Demon

Thieves of Aurion

Lover Enslaved

No super deed goes unpunished…

Breaking Bad

© 2012 Jodi Redford

A
Midnight Justice
Story

It’s been twenty-five years since the last Light Guardian was wiped out. Or so it’s believed. Ruby Winston is about to blow the lid off that theory, even though it’ll bring every Shadow Czar minion down on her ass.

She’s always known she was different from the rest of the evil-dictators-in-training Winstons. Uncovering the secret half of her gene pool proves it. Now she’s out to bring down her late father’s mind-control soda empire—and break the Shadow Czars’ hold on Earth.

Problem is, becoming a superhero overnight isn’t as easy as it looks.

Teague Younger has his own secrets to keep: his heritage, and his fierce determination to exact revenge on his friend and mentor’s murderer. So far he’s kept his cover—until he’s forced to use his Light Guardian powers to save Ruby from a sticky situation.

Thrust together and on the run, Teague and Ruby form a wary alliance as they desperately fight their circuit-blowing attraction. With an army of Shadow Queen minions hot on their tails, they might have a hard time surviving the night, much less ignoring their hearts.

Warning: This book contains mind-controlling beverages, evil dictators and minions, excessive use of spandex, and enough electrifying sex to melt an ice train.

Enjoy the following excerpt for
Breaking Bad:

Teague stalked toward a cluster of scrub pines in the distance. He halted a good thirty yards back from the trees and waved his arm. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

“But…we’re too far away.”

“You might not even get this close to the queen before she fries your ass.”

Her stomach clenched. Determined to prove to them both that she wasn’t entirely inept, Ruby lifted her shaking hands and directed a bolt toward the shrubs. The charge hit at least ten yards short, fizzling ineffectually into the parched dirt.

“Try it again.”

She repeated the maneuver, this time landing the strike even farther from the target. Embarrassment and defeat caved her chest.

“You’re not focusing.”

“I am. I’ve been aiming for that middle tree each try.”

“I’m not talking about outward focus.” He moved behind her. “It’s as much about the mental as physical. To properly handle your energy, you first need to understand it. Connect with it.” His warm, calloused palms glided along her arms, positioning them in a straight horizontal line. “This is the best way to ground yourself. The energy resides as much within your environment as it does inside you.” His fingertips grazed the sensitive undersides of her forearms, causing her to shiver in pleasure. “Do you feel the build-up starting?”

A sharp tingle shuttled through her clitoris. Oh yeah. She was definitely feeling
something
. Probably not what he’d been referring to though. “I—I’m not sure.”

Teague pressed into her, the firm, muscular planes of his chest and abdomen contouring to her back like the delicious, masculine version of memory foam. “How about now? Feeling anything?”

She gulped, not entirely certain he wasn’t referring to the thick bulge of his erection prodding the base of her spine. “Err…possibly.”