Chasing the Music: For the Love of Music Book 0.5 (14 page)

“They can deal,” Griffin said.

But the thought of people waiting for her. Of her not showing up. “Nope. I’m going.”

“Damn, stubborn.” Bridget shook her head.

Griffin rested a hand on her shoulder, and Lita found herself leaning into his warmth. “You start feeling like that again, just find a wall, close your eyes, and breathe. Sometimes that’s all it takes to help.”

“And you’d know how?” she asked. Her chest still felt too tight, and she still consciously thought about her next breath, but it was a million times better than the air that had raked into her lungs in gasps.

“Stacy’s aunt.” Griffin nodded.

Bridget rested an arm over Lita and began leading her up the hallway.

Lita glanced over her shoulder to see Griffin who watched them go with a frown.

She only had a small idea of what happened to her. Stage fright? Stress? All of the above?

“So, now we get to fake it for a bit.” Bridget gave her one more squeeze. “And I think we should tell them you’re a little under the weather so you can sit down before the show.”

Lita just followed and let herself be taken care of.

“You got this,” Bridget said, and Lita knew she did. She’d done this a million times before. Balance the badass and the nice girl. Smile at all the right times. Frown at all the right times. And flirt with the guys. Yep. She had this.

Griffin stood backstage like always. Lita was more than halfway through her set, and he wondered if she’d do
I Want You Bad
that night or save it for another time. After watching her in the hallway, he guessed she might save it. Panic attacks? Something similar? Either way she needed to take some time off.

He thought of ways to bring up Lita’s stress with Dave without looking like an ass who was pushing his nose in where it didn’t belong. Bridget wasn’t going to listen to him, and whatever she was doing to help Lita obviously wasn’t working.

And then it happened. Lita started
I Want You Bad.
From the opening word his jaw tightened, and then his chest and his stomach and his body ached and felt torn and how could he have left her a note to say they were friends and there would be no weirdness?

There was no way to envision being just a friend to her, and how would that not be weird if they were next to each other, alone, and supposed to be just friends?

He listened to the slight rasp and hint of vulnerability in her voice as she sang the words and he weakened further.

Damn, he was in trouble.

Fifteen

Lita sat on the stage with a guitar in hand, still confused as to her overreaction before the concert. Bridget had been hovering, so she’d sent her back to the hotel, hoping for time alone. Or maybe it was more that she hoped for time alone with Griffin.

She wasn’t really into playing hard, but her fingers slid up and down the neck of the guitar in some of the first scales her mother had taught her.

Soft footsteps crossed the stage and Griffin stepped around her and sat, his wooden guitar resting on his lap.

She pressed her thumbs into her fingertips working on her calluses.

“I think tonight was your best yet,” he said.

“Maybe.” But it had felt like everything clicked. She’d made it through
I Want You Bad
and it sounded at least as good as it had when she’d played it before.

“Wait.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’ve never thought to ask you about Chandler.”

Lita immediately stiffened, and Griffin laughed. “If you don’t trust me by now…”

She played the opening riff of
Death to Clementine
and he watched her fingers move.

“Chandler is a friend.” She thought again about their talk and was determined to keep Chandler’s secret until he felt it didn’t need to be kept anymore. “Nothing more.”

Griffin moved his fingers on the strings, following the same opening riff. Right. He knew her songs. So weird.

“So everyone has it wrong?” he asked. “All the rumors of your steamy meet-ups?”

Lita shifted. “My sales went up and word is that he’ll be in the next X-Men movie.”

Crazy world.

“Win-win,” he said.

“And he’s a good friend, anyway.” She cocked her head to the side, and her hair cascaded down next to her.

He nudged her knee with his. “So, you collect guy friends, huh?”

She snorted. “Not intentionally…” Her gaze rested solidly on him. “That was definitely not my intention with you.”

Embarrassment heated her neck and then she watched Griffin’s reaction flush his cheeks as well.

“You’re
blushing
,” she teased. “Wow. Griffin. So easy.”

He let out a breath. “There are certain things that… You just have to remember I’ve had the same girl since tenth grade. The same… I mean… She’s it for the majority of my experiences.”

“Whoa.” Lita sat straighter. “I hadn’t even thought of that.” Suddenly her
one
real boyfriend didn’t feel quite as juvenile.

Lita scooted forward until her knees touched his. She thought about all the nights she listened to him onstage and now she had a chance to be a bigger part of that experience than someone standing in the shadows.

“You were playing a song,” she started. “A long time ago, and I wanna hear it.”

His brows went up. “Which one?”

“The one you played the other night. The
I still love you
one.

“Maybe, you play one first.”

She cocked a brow and he shrugged in response, clearly hoping she’d drop it.

“Okay.” She stared down at the strings. “I’ll play you something. Something totally unlike Lita James.”

“I’d love that.”

She was doing it. Singing the song she hadn’t sung for anyone.

The softer edges of midnight,

pulled down into the starlight,

and lifted us into flight...

as I…

watch…

you…

The softer lines of feeling

leave me open, peeling

you’re an array on the ceiling

as I

find

you

And in the stars it is written that love conquers all

And in the way inside your arms, together we fall

All the ways

and all the things

that draw me to you

The softer edges of midnight will pull us through…

“Wait,” Griffin touched her hand, and she stopped. “This is you, Lita. It is. Drop it down a half step and use your lower voice. You could do an unplugged tour or something. Add in a few more songs like this…” Excitement touched every word as his voice rose.

“Are you my manager now?” she teased.

“No.” His face held a kind of appreciation and amazement that she hadn’t expected. “I just want more people to hear this song.”

She glanced down, feeling suddenly exposed. “Thanks.”

“Give Christian Meyer a call.”

Christian Meyer had been a rock god when she was still in elementary, and hadn’t ever lost steam. Kincaid was a legend. And even though the band had a name, no one talked about Kincaid without Christian Meyer. He was the front man, no matter what their front man thought. After leaving the band, everyone in music had been holding their breath to see what would happen with him next. “What are you talking about?”

“The Kincaid guy. Lead guitarist. You—”

“I know who he is. I’ve met him briefly.” She shook her head. “What are you talking about?”

“He announced a solo album. Something about going back to his acoustical roots or something. There’s already rumors of a fall tour. That would give you months—nine? More? If you have more of what you just played, you might release a mini-album and go with him, or do a few shows or something.”

“Wow.” Lita stared at her guitar for a moment. “Wow. Christian Meyer behind an acoustic. Crazy.”

“Right?” Griffin laughed. “I’m pretty stoked about it though. Bet it’ll be awesome.”

She stared at her fingers moving across the strings in another melody she’d been playing with. “But a lot of his fans are going to hate it.”

“But…” Griffin let the word hang for a moment. “But, he’ll gain new fans who will love it, and better even than that—he’ll love what he’s doing again. At least that’s what he said in Rolling Stone.”

Lita closed her eyes and thought about this guy in front of her. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he was worried. That he was watching out for her in his own way.

“You know what you need, Griffin?” she asked.

“What?”

“Someone to take care of you.”

He shifted back. “Oh, no… No. I don’t need that.”

She looked at him through the wisps of hair hanging over her eyes and she smiled. “You do, I’m just not sure how to go about that yet.”

Lita tightened her arms around her guitar getting another rush of cold. She seemed to always be freezing. “Your turn now. Play me something.”

Griffin settled into a twist on a traditional finger-picking pattern. He seemed to be able to play anything, which baffled her.

He’d been singing for at least a verse before she started actually listening to the words.

Softly, so softly down

kissed me as we touched the ground

turning, spinning falling down…

there is no love, better than this

tangled in our sheets and in your kiss...

She let her eyes close so she could just absorb. He was wicked talented.

“You should be onstage,” she said when he finished.

“Nah.” Griffin shook his head. “Not my thing.”

“Mind if I try your song?” she asked.

“Uh…” He smiled a far off kind of smile. “Yeah. Of course. Yeah.”

She fought for a moment to remember how the song started, and she had to twist his finger-picking pattern to one she knew.

I didn’t know love started this way

I saw you everyday

and then

I saw you different.

I thought it would hit like a thundercloud

like rain falling down and down

but love

is better this way…

When she finished Griffin had that look again. The one that said she wasn’t crazy for feeling more for him. That said he probably felt the same.

“Yeah,” he said. “I never thought I’d say this, but you could totally go mellow and I’d love it. You sound a million times better than I do.”

Lita had always had magazines tell her how amazing she was. Reviewers from the Rolling Stone, but his compliment hit her in a place that was deeper. Different. She shivered again.

“Let’s get some food or something to drink because there’s no way you should be cold out here right now.” He grasped her knee, but quickly dropped it. Way too quickly. She was in such a stupid, horrible position. She liked him. A lot. And he was completely and totally unavailable. “We could meet up with the guys at Denny’s. You know they almost always go there and snag a back room, right?”

“They don’t want me there.” She laughed lightly, but it was more than that. She couldn’t imagine sitting down to eat after the day she had. “But something hot to drink would be nice.”

They were on the stage, and he held her hand. His fingers slid between hers and his strong arm wrapped around her waist, tugging on her until she sat on his lap.

“Sing for me again?” Griffin asked, his warm breath floating across her cheek.

She felt the rush of familiarity of Griffin mixed with the strangeness of her songs being so personal. “Now it’s weird.”

“Then I’ll make it less weird.” His lips touched her jaw before finding her lips, but then he pulled abruptly away.

“What?”

“You know I can’t.”

She was so confused. He’d pulled on her.

“Why don’t you want me?”

They were in her hotel room.

The same question hung between them. She stood with her back against the wall. He grasped her hands, brought them over her head and pressed her wrists against the hard surface. Everything inside her lit on fire. He was inches from her. Inches. His warmth makes her tremble, sent fire up her legs. “Hold my hands tighter,” she pleaded.

He did. The desire ripped through her again. “Tighter,” she begged.

“I want every piece of you,” he growled. “I want to press my lips in that place below your belly button that I see when you’re onstage. I want my mouth between your breasts. On your breasts. I want to suck on you. Trail my tongue up the inside of your thighs. Feel your tongue on mine. Taste you. All of you. I want—”