Chasing the Fire (Backdraft, Fully Involved, Flashover) (15 page)

“Yes. She died two hours after she was
born.”

oOo

“
WHEN I GOT
pregnant, I couldn’t go
home to Elmira. My parents were already embarrassed I dropped out
of med school. This would have shamed them.”

Clutching the certificate, Linc asked,
“What’d you do?”

“I stayed in Chicago and got a job on an
ambulance. With that money, and what was left of my med-school
loans, I made it through the pregnancy, though I was exhausted all
the time.”

He glanced at the picture again. “Why was she
so small?”

“I went into premature labor. They couldn’t
stop it…” Tears welled in her eyes for the first time since that
awful experience. “She had hypo-plastic left heart syndrome.” Where
one of the chambers in the heart was malformed. “The doctors knew
from a prenatal echocardiogram they took when they couldn’t stop
the contractions. When she was born, her skin was pale and her arms
and legs swollen…”

Lisa Beth dropped down on the coffee table,
facing him. “There was nothing they could do.”

He leaned his head back on the couch and
closed his eyes. “And you called me to be there with you.”

“I was terrified, Linc. They couldn’t stop
her from coming, then they learned of the malformation. I couldn’t
handle it. I called you from the hospital. I needed someone and
didn’t know where else to turn.”

“And I didn’t come.”

The words were wrenched from him and filled
with self-loathing. She felt compelled to ease his pain. “You
didn’t know…”

“If I hadn’t left in the first place…” He
stopped. “No, you don’t need to hear that. It doesn’t matter how I
feel. What matters is that you were alone and afraid. Then
devastated, I imagine.”

“I was.” For a moment, the horrible pit in
her stomach reformed. “I couldn’t believe she’d died.”

After a long silence, he asked, “Did you try
to go back to med school?”

“No. I had to repay hospital expenses, so I
went back to the ambulance and got another job as a waitress. By
the time I finished paying the loans, I’d been out of school three
years. And I didn’t have the drive to keep up with the work. I
decided to try something else in medicine.”

“So you became a paramedic.”

“Yeah.”

“Why firefighting?”

“They were such heroes after 9/11. And when I
worked on the ambulance, I admired the firefighters I came in
contact with. I think, too, that the excitement of walking into
burning buildings appealed to me. Made me feel alive after I’d been
dead inside for so long.” She shrugged. “I did an online search,
and found Hidden Cove was looking for paramedics. So I came
here.”

He nodded, then stared down at the box. He
traced the face of their child with a fingertip. Lisa Beth watched,
mesmerized, then saw something wet fall onto the photo. She looked
up to see that he was crying. Big fat silent tears. “Oh, Linc.”

He shook his head, dug his thumb and
forefinger into his eyes.

Lisa Beth took the box from him, set it aside
and climbed onto his lap. She pulled his head to her breasts, and
he began to cry harder. Wrenching sobs which brought tears to
her
eyes.

For a while, they both wept for the little
life that wasn’t meant to be.

oOo

LINC HAD HOPED
never to experience
again the pain he felt at the loss of Lisa Beth. But another pain,
a similar one, and almost as great to bear, shook his entire body.
He buried his head in her breasts, clung to her, poured out the
agony inside him. When he finally quieted, he realized she’d been
crying, too. Her body was trembling. So he raised his head and drew
her to his chest. Held her as she’d held him. He’d had no idea what
this wonderful woman had been through. Blame for himself started to
eke out, but he quelled it to deal with another time.

Finally, she settled and pulled back. “I am
so sorry, love. I wish I could have been there to help you deal
with the loss and all the money issues.”

Watery brown eyes stared up at him. “Me,
too.” She scrubbed her fingers over her cheeks, then climbed off
his lap. Held out her hand.

He didn’t know what she wanted, what she
needed right now. Praying she didn’t lead him to the door—he
couldn’t bear being separated from her when the knowledge was so
new—he got up from the couch. Slowly, she circled it and…oh, dear
Lord in heaven…led him down the hall. To another room. Her bedroom.
His heart was so full, so heavy, he had to make a conscious effort
to breathe.

She let go of him by the bed and slatted the
blinds. Some light peaked through and he saw furniture, colors in
his peripheral vision, but couldn’t take his eyes off her. Then she
returned to him. And pulled her top over her head. A pink bra
greeted him. Reaching out, he palmed her breasts, the same thing
he’d done in the storage room, but this time, it meant so much
more. She slid an arm around her back and unclasped the
undergarment, then he stared at the telltale signs of pregnancy
that were still evident. Again, he closed his hands over her and
kneaded her. He dropped to his knees, drew down her shorts and
panties and helped her kick them off. He was eye level with her
scar, healed now, not even puckering. But the sight of it almost
overwhelmed him. He kissed it reverently and heard her whisper,
“Ohhh.”

Then he rose. He shrugged out of his shirt,
undid his jeans and disposed of them with everything else. Even in
pain, and in sorrow, his penis hardened, thrust forward. She
smiled. Linc smiled back. “He remembers you.”

“Right away, looks like.”

They moved into each other and her scent
filled his head, her skin his hands. She looped her arms around his
neck. Her breasts pressed against his chest; he savored the long
missed sensation. Tipping her chin, he lowered his mouth to hers.
I love you, Lise,
he said with the brush of his lips back
and forth, then back and forth again.
I’m so sorry,
he
reiterated pressing his mouth into hers.
Please don’t leave me
after this,
he tried to tell her as his tongue explored her
mouth.

She had her own comments, he knew.
Finally…You’re the one… I’ve never forgotten this.

When the silent dialogue ended, he drew her
to the bed. Sat down on the edge of the mattress covered with a
fluffy spread and tugged her to straddle him. He’d loved this
position, the closeness, the near oneness, when they were together
before. He loved it even more now. Their mouths melded again, and
they poured themselves into each other.

Suddenly, for him, it wasn’t enough, then she
said, “More, Linc. More.”

He lay back on the covers. She climbed onto
the mattress. And he rolled over beside her. Flat out, they hugged,
lost in the feelings of before his life derailed. Skin-to-skin,
muscle-to- muscle, even their bones caressed. She kissed his pecs.
His knees. His feet. Drawing her up, he flipped her over and did
the same. Full breasts. Indented waist. Strong thighs and
calves.

He came up on his knees, then slid to his
butt and stretched out his legs, opening them wide. She needed no
direction to climb between them and lift her legs over his
thighs.

“Look at me when I come inside you.”

Her gaze locked with his, she opened herself
to him. He pushed inside her. The sensation was so great, the love
for her he’d secreted away for so long bursting out, he felt his
eyes tear again. She wiped them away. “None of this. No more of
tears.”

Her muscles clamped around him. “I thought
I’d never be inside you like this again.”

“Me, either.” She said it on a sigh.

Lisa Beth felt like crying, too. But there
had been enough sadness, enough tears. For now, all she wanted was
the mind-numbing connection with this man. They joined, deeply.
Then he began to move, and she did, too. Streaks of pleasure
started in her womb and radiated out to all parts of her. He
groaned, closed his eyes, smiled. Increasing the motion, he thrust
with more force into her. She met his speed, his pressure, doubled
it. Spasms began. Little tiny swirls grew to huge waves and flooded
her. They went on and on, even when she heard him groan out his own
pleasure.

Afterward, they collapsed into each other.
She buried her face in his neck, as she always had, inhaled him and
hugged him tighter. He put his hand on her nape, held her close,
hugged back.

Who knew how long before they drew apart? He
watched her, his deep blue eyes glazed with satisfaction. And
something else. Something precious. Something grateful.

She hoped her expression mirrored his.

He said, simply, “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Linc.”

He bit his lip before he got out, “I thought
I’d never hear you say that again.”

She gave him a sham look. “And here you
pretended to be so sure of yourself.”

“No, I was sure of
us.”

Lying back on the pillows, he drew her to his
side. They stretched out on the bed and sought each other’s bodies
again. Her head against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat,
still thrumming. After it quieted, she kissed his skin. It tasted
of sweat and salt.

A long silence. Contented sighs. He ran his
hand through her hair and she savored the familiar sensation.
“Marry me, Lisa Beth.”

She startled. “That’s a little fast, isn’t
it?”

“No, it’s ten years too late.”

“Don’t you think we need time to adjust to
everything?”

She felt the slight stiffness of his body.
“Aren’t you sure?”

“No, I’m sure. In firefighter lingo, I’m
fully involved.”

“Wow, when a building is totally engulfed in
flames. I like the image.”

She came up and braced herself on an elbow.
“How on earth did you know what that term meant?”

“I, um, researched your profession.”

Again she sighed and lay back down. Again,
contented silence, his hand brushing her bare skin, raising goose
bumps.

“We could adopt Melody,” he suggested.

The intake of her breath was loud in the
silent room.

“I mean it. We can adopt her and have another
of our own, now that I found out I’m capable. Who the hell knows,
we didn’t use protection. Maybe it already happened.”

She chuckled. Kissed his chest. “Female
firefighters take pills to make sure their periods are regular and
short. Less intrusive.”

“Hey, we made one little miracle before, and
we even used protection. Maybe we did it a second time.”

Once again, he drew her close, and Lisa Beth
knew what they’d found together tonight was a miracle in itself.
Then she closed her eyes and thought of little Melody, the one with
the broken legs. And of the future little miracles to come.

CAPTAIN NICK EVANS
held his breath as
he picked out a straw and prayed he didn’t get the short one. He
damn well couldn’t be in charge of the Christmas party to raise
money for the kids who attended Hale’s Haven, the summer camp for
children of slain firefighters and police officers. He hated
Christmas and anything to do with the holiday.

Parker Allen Erikson, chic and slim, who’d
come up with this harebrained idea, smiled at the firefighters
assembled in her office at headquarters. “Don’t look so grim.
You’ll have help.”

Mumbles from all fifteen officers of House 7,
who’d been required by the brass to participate.

When everybody had drawn a straw, she said,
“All right, look.”
Fucking son of a bitch. The little—littlest for sure—straw nestled
in Nick’s palm.

“Hey, Evans got it.” This from one of the
female officers.

“Yes!” a captain called out.

“Good for you, Nick,” another joked.

Nobody wanted to do the extra work for the
party, but that wasn’t why Nick dreaded winning this particular
lottery. So much more was wrong with his involvement with anything
to do with Christmas. So he said, “If somebody’ll take over for me,
I’ll pay you a Franklin a week.”

Parker raised a brow. “That is not in the
spirit of Christmas, Captain.” She glanced over at her husband,
Battalion Chief Cal Erikson, for support. The sappy look on the
battalion chief’s face when he gazed at his wife told Nick he’d get
no help there.

“A deal’s a deal, Evans,” Erikson said. “Buck
up.”

Nick had no choice but to downplay how much
this meant to him. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

Bestowing a benevolent smile on him that
could crack anybody’s veneer but his, Parker scanned the group.
“Thanks to all of you. You’re not off the hook, though. You have to
set an example for your team and actively participate.”

Team
was the operative word here. As
head of PR for the fire department, her scheme to raise money for
the camp included all seven houses of the fire department, and four
of law enforcement, each one assigned a winter fund-raising
event/party for the kids who went to camp. Why couldn’t House 7
have gotten the basketball tournament House 3 was responsible for?
Or even the all-day activity party at Play Station. No, he had to
get the freaking Christmas party.

“Nick, can you stay for a preliminary
meeting?”

Before he could answer, the BC did. “He’s
free. I got a sub for the whole day for whoever was chosen.”
Erikson gave him a
don’t balk on this anymore
look.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Great. You can use my office for the
meeting.” She winked at Cal. “And take your time.”

Just then, a knock sounded on the door. “That
must be her.”

Her? The other chair was a woman? Huh, maybe
he could get her to do most of the work.

“Come on in, Stacey.”

Through the door came Doris Day with red
hair. Well, more strawberry blond than red, but hell, she had the
freckles and hazel eyes that were common to redheads. “I hope I’m
not early. I came over on my lunch hour.”