Chasing the Fire (Backdraft, Fully Involved, Flashover) (12 page)

Linc said, “With two broken legs, that won’t
be for a while. And she’ll need rehab.”

“DCF won’t pay for anything fancy. But at
least we’ll have more time to find a home.”

The woman started away and Lisa Beth called
out, “What’s her name, Ms. Cruz?”

Again, she consulted her clipboard. “Last
name, Drake. First name Melody.”

Lisa Beth gasped and Linc swore under his
breath. The woman walked away, and they stared at each other.

“What are the chances?” he asked.

“A million to one?”

Melody was the name they’d chosen for their
daughter-to-be.

oOo

“
HERE, TAKE THESE.”
Renee Jones, a
nurse Lisa Beth liked, handed her some scrubs. “I put my shower
stuff in the first stall.”

“Thanks for letting me use your things. I
don’t want to leave the hospital until Melody wakes up.” It almost
killed her to say the name aloud, and she had to steel herself from
the old pain.

Before she left Lisa Beth alone, Renee asked,
“Did I hear somewhere you had two years of medical school?”

“Yeah, I did. In Chicago.”

“From what I saw, you should have finished.
Still should. You saved that little girl’s life. You’d make a great
doctor.”

Again, she whispered the mantra,
no pain,
no pain
in her head.

When Renee left, Lisa Beth entered the first
cubicle and closed the door. She stood in front of the mirror,
seeing tired brown eyes, dirt on her cheeks and thinned lips. She
even had blood in her hair. Slowly, she stripped to her undies,
removed her sports bra and inched down her panties. For a long
moment, she stared at her breasts, then at the four-inch scar
running from her naval, almost reaching her pubic bone.

The child that had been abused and hurt
tonight wasn’t the only Melody Lisa Beth had known. She touched the
scar. There had been another one, nine years ago, who’d been the
most beautiful person in the world that Lisa Beth had ever
seen.

oOo

LINC FOUND LISA
Beth by the little
patient’s side several hours later. From the doorway, he watched
her hold the child’s hand and speak to her. He was surprised to see
the girl was awake.

As he came into the room, he heard Lisa Beth
utter softly, “I know they hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

He thought she said, very groggily, “Don’t
wanna go back there.”

“You won’t, Melody. I promise.”

Fuck. Just when he thought he might be
cracking Lisa Beth’s armor, they had to deal with a reminder of the
child they’d never had. It was doubly significant to Linc, but she
wouldn’t realize that.

To let them know he was here, he cleared his
throat; they both looked over at him. Lisa Beth’s eyes drooped with
exhaustion and her hair was curly, how it used to get when she
washed it and didn’t use a blow dryer. He used to love burying his
hands in the thick locks. He noticed she wore pink scrubs, which
about poleaxed him. Why the hell had she left medical school? She’d
been top in her class.

He forced himself to turn to the girl.
“Hello, Melody. I’m Dr. Roberts.”

Her eyes were nearly shut from post-op
fatigue. “…not go back?”

“You won’t have to go back there. We’ll
protect you from what you’ve had to endure.” Hell, he didn’t even
know how to talk to kids anymore. “I promise.”

Lisa Beth gave him a long look, then said,
“He means it, honey. And I promise the same thing, too.”

“’Kay.” Her eyes closed.

Crossing the room, Linc eased up to the bed
and pulled back the sheet. He palpitated the skin around each cast,
then picked up her chart. “She’s doing great.”

Thinking she’d dozed off, he was surprised
when Melody mumbled, “Gotta be able to run...from people
sometimes.”

“You’ll be able to run,” he said hoarsely.
“My little brother broke his leg when he was about your age, and he
does marathons now.”

She gave him a weak smile.

Lisa Beth leaned over. “And you won’t have to
run from anybody, ever again.”

When he was sure the girl was asleep for
good, Linc asked, “Lisa Beth, can I speak to you a moment?”

Rising, Lisa Beth followed Linc out of the
room. “You’ve been here all this time?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He touched her shoulder, forgetting he
shouldn’t. “You look cute in these. I like the pink.”

“They’re too girly. Renee gave them to me. I
showered away the dirt and blood.”

“You’re off work?”

“How’d you know?”

“It’s date night.”

“Jesus. Linc, please don’t ask me to leave
her yet.”

“I won’t.” He folded his arms over his chest,
noticing that her breasts strained the material of her top. “How
about if I order us a pizza? Melody will probably be zonked all
night. I’m surprised she was awake just now.”

“Thanks.” Her shoulders softened. “That’d be
good.”

Leaning over, he kissed her nose. “I’m not
quite the monster everybody thinks I am, including you.” Then he
turned and left her. While he still could.

oOo

FOR DATE NUMBER
two, they sat in
uncomfortable hospital chairs at the foot of Melody’s bed. She
slept while they ate pizza.

“I hope we can keep our promises.” Lisa Beth
could hear the note of longing in her voice. Usually, she wasn’t so
sappy, but she was exhausted and emotionally drained.

“I hope so, too. She’s going to need
extensive physical therapy and dedicated adults to take her back
and forth. They’ll have to find foster parents who’ll be vigilant
about her recovery.”

“DCF will find parents. But who’s to say
they’ll be any better than the Lombards? There are some great
people doing foster care, but also a lot of degenerates waiting in
line, who are in it for the money.”

“There is that.” He bit into a slice of
sausage-and-cheese pizza. “We used to live on this.”

She nibbled at hers. “I’ve been thinking
about those days.” Now her tone was nostalgic. Damn it, she wanted
to hate him still. But some of that acute bitterness she’d felt for
almost a decade was dissolving, even if she didn’t want it to.

“It wasn’t all bad.”

She stopped eating and studied him. “That
makes what you did all the worse.”

“I guess.”

Setting the pizza in the cardboard on the
high tray table, she leaned back in her chair. Her defenses down,
she asked, “Were you unhappy with Juliet the whole time?”

“Unbelievably. For years, I worked as much as
I could. Of course I didn’t have a choice during internship. Then
double residency about killed mine and Juliet’s relationship.”

“Were you ever close?”

“If you mean physically, we had sex, but I
wouldn’t call it close. Emotionally?” he shook his head. “Never.
She said I was punishing myself because of you.”

Damn, Lisa Beth shouldn’t let herself hear
this. But she was mesmerized by what he said. She’d hated him so
long, she’d never thought of what his life was like after he’d torn
theirs apart.

“Is that why you never had kids?”

“Um, no. Initially, I refused to discuss
starting a family. But unbeknownst to me, Juliet went off birth
control. It never took.” He raised his eyes to heaven. “Even God
was pissed at me.”

This was dangerous territory. Still, as if
probing a sore tooth, she asked, “How do you know it was you who
couldn’t have kids?”

“Because after we divorced, she had a child
with another guy. Guess I shoot blanks.”

Lisa Beth stiffened.

“No, don’t feel sorry for me.” He’d
misinterpreted her reaction. “But know when we get together, like I
plan, there are ways for you to have a child, if you want one.”

She sat up straight. “We’re not getting
together, Linc.”

“If I prove I’ve changed, we will.”

“You know, I might believe that you’ve
changed. But it doesn’t matter. I told you I’d never trust you
again.”

He picked up the remote to the TV, dismissing
the comment. “We’re not going to talk about that on our second
date. Want to catch a rerun
Grey’s Anatomy?”
Like cops and
firefighters, they’d loved to watch and criticize shows about their
profession.

“Whatever,” she said. Though she was sitting
a good distance away, she could feel herself being drawn to him. To
the man who thought he couldn’t father a child, when she knew
differently.

oOo

LINC WALKED INTO
his family home in
Binghamton, New York, noting the same faded wallpaper hung in the
living room, the worn couches still sat across from each other, and
the scent of kitchen smells and lemon wax he remembered from
childhood hovered in the air. A visceral response to how he’d grown
up overpowered him. Years ago, he couldn’t wait to get out of here,
and later in life, he’d made choices because of this place, choices
which had, in the end, screwed up his life.

“Pa, Ma,” he called out. “Where are you?”

His mother came out of the front room, a lit
cigarette in her hand. She and his father both had started smoking
when Molly died and hadn’t stopped. As always, she wore a
housedress with dull print, slippers and had tied back her totally
gray hair. She looked older than her fifty-five years.

“Hello, Lincoln.” There were no hugs for him
from this woman. When he’d become a hotshot surgeon, he’d left them
in the dust, like Lisa Beth. He’d only started coming back home
three years ago when he realized he missed his parents, too.
Despite her coldness, he leaned over, kissed her cheek and handed
her a white bakery bag. “I brought you some of those half-moon
cookies you like.”

She took the bag and opened it. The sweet
scent wafted up to him. He remembered having to divvy up one cookie
among eight kids. “Thanks.” She turned and went to the stairs,
called up, “Joseph, Linc’s here.”

As they waited for his dad, he asked, “So,
how have you been?”

“My headaches are still bothering me.” Those
had started after his sister’s accident, too.

“I’m sorry. I can set up an appointment with
a neurologist, if you want.”

“Fancy doctors can’t help me.”

“I’ll pay for the visits.”

Just then Joe Roberts came down the steps.
Every time he saw his dad, today dressed in dark pants and a
checked shirt, his hair completely gone, his face lined, Linc felt
guilty—of what, he didn’t know. Joe Roberts had had a hard life,
working at the local factory, trying to raise eight kids on a
never-enough salary. That was another thing that Linc had wanted to
escape. Like his brothers and sisters, he’d gotten scholarships to
do it. “Hi, Pa.”

“Lincoln.”

Linc held up a long skinny package. “I got
you a new club. Happy Birthday.”

Joe nodded. Linc had encouraged his dad to
take up golfing when he retired at sixty, paid for a place to play
and game fees. It was something the two of them could do together
without Helen Roberts around. They got along better then.

“I’m going to bed,” his mother announced,
taking a drag of her butt. Linc winced when the smoke curled toward
him.

“Okay, Mom. I’ll come up before I leave and
say goodbye.”

She grunted.

“Want a beer?” his dad asked, heading for the
kitchen.

“Sure.”

They sat outside, under a shade tree at a
battered picnic table. “How’s work at that new hospital?”

He thought of Lisa Beth in Melody’s room last
night. Before he’d left, he’d told her about the visit…

“I won’t be around tomorrow. I’m heading up
to Binghamton to see my parents.”

“Are they any better?” She’d tried to help
them, too, with little success.

“No. Sometimes, I guess you can’t get over
loss.”

His words were meaningful, and she surprised
him with a sad smile and a squeeze of his arm…

“I’m settling in at the hospital. I like
small-town living better.”

“You didn’t like it here. Don’t blame you,
though, son.”

They’d had this conversation before. “I know,
Pa.”

He waited a bit. “Have you talked to Lisa
Beth?”

“Yeah, there’s this kid…” He told his father
Melody’s story and how he and Lisa Beth had bonded over the girl.
Some of his hope must have come through.

“Be careful, Linc, not to get your hopes up.
The universe can come and bite you in the ass if you do.”

His little sister Molly
still
pervaded
everything about his Ma and Pa. Linc had never felt more sorry for
the old man than he did at his moment.

And there was nothing he could do for his
dad. Except, like before, to forgive his parents for what happened
to him in this house and not let his own life deteriorate further
because of it.

oOo

TONY RAMIREZ SAT
in the Hidden Cove
diner and scanned the Quint and Midi group. “I asked you all for
lunch because we need to talk. I’ll go first.” He faced Lisa Beth.
“You’re suspended for your next tour.”

Since she’d expected this, she simply
nodded.

He faced Riley. “And you were suspended a few
months ago.”

Then it was Jackson’s turn. “You lost your
temper with a probie last week.”

“I—”

Tony held up his hand. “No, don’t talk.” He
practically gritted his teeth.

After he criticized Langston for staying too
long in a house on fire, he added, “Word in the fire department is
I can’t control my team.”

“No, Cap.”

“That’s not true.”

Tony slapped his hand on the tabletop. “You
know what? I think they’re right.”

Riley said, “You’d never punch anybody like I
did, Tony, but you would’ve gone into the house the other night,
like Lisa Beth. And stayed in the fire, like Langston, so you could
save that grandmother.”

Ramirez’s dark eyes flared. “I would
not
have done either of those things.”

“I don’t believe you,” Langston put in.

“Which is part of the problem, for all of
you. I have a wife and three children to protect. And I do believe
the mantra that a firefighter doesn’t endanger himself more than
necessary. If it’s a choice between you or a victim surviving, you
choose yourself so you can go on to save other people other
days.”