Chased Dreams (20 page)

“All done,” Grandpa said, wiping my face
with the towel before helping me stand at the sink so I could wash
some of the residue away.

Staring into the mirror once more, I wasn’t
sure if I liked the whiskers gone. My face looked even skinnier
than it had before. Carefully, I sank down into the chair. “Think
we can do anything about this mop on my head? I look like a hippie,
my hair is so long.”

“Well, a good buzz cut is about all I can
do. Do you want that, or do you want someone else to give you
something different?”

“I think I’ll wait. Not that I don’t mind a
buzz cut, but I think it’ll make me look even thinner. I’m already
having a hard enough time recognizing myself.”

Nodding, he wheeled me back out into my room
and I noticed my bed had been remade fresh and clean in my absence
and someone had also hung the bar contraption over the top.

“This bed they have you in is special,”
Grandpa said, as he helped me back into it. “I don’t know if they
told you about it, but it’s made to roll you and shift you around.
It prevented you from lying in one spot too long and getting
bedsores.”

“Who even thinks of all this stuff?” I
asked. There were all sorts of medical terms and equipment I’d
never heard of before that had been introduced to me in the last
few days.

“You know what they say, necessity is the
mother of invention.” Pulling me up from the chair, he helped me
get situated on the bed once more. “You want the covers over
you?”

I shook my head. “Not right now. I just want
to sit here and . . . breathe.” He patted my hand and sat
down in the chair next to me. “Thanks for bringing Turk,” I added,
glancing over to where the fish was now stationed on the table near
my bed.

“It was my pleasure.” He smiled softly, a
kind of reflective smile that I didn’t see on him often. “Sorry I
didn’t get him here earlier. There were a few things needing my
attention at the ranch.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just some broken pipes in the
irrigation line. Nothing too horrible, I just needed to get it
taken care of so we wouldn’t lose any crops in those areas.” His
eyes drifted to where Turk was swimming around in his bowl and
chuckled. “I swear even that fish is glad to see you. He’s not been
this active while I’ve had him.”

Laughing slightly, I watched. “Turk’s my
bro. And before you ask, no, this is not the head injury talking. I
just like the fish.”

Grandpa smiled. “I know. I’ve been waiting
for the day that you’d tell me you wanted him.” Despite his tough,
military exterior, I still saw the moisture that crept into his
eyes.

“Mom told me you were the only one who never
gave up on me.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “It’s not right
for a Granddad to lose his grandson before going himself. It goes
against nature, if you ask me. I’ve seen too many young people
taken before their time. There was no way I was letting you slip
away too. This family has had enough heartache already.”

The room fell silent between us as I
carefully pondered my next words to him. Emotion welled up suddenly
in my throat and I found it hard to speak, having to force myself
to push through it. “When are you going to tell the rest of the
family that you’re dying?”

His gaze snapped sharply to mine and I was
surprised to see a moment of fear flash through them. I’d never
seen fear in my grandpa’s eyes, and it was a bit unnerving. He
rubbed his forehead briefly before dropping his hand into his lap.
“You heard me.” It was a statement, not a question.

“I’m guessing I heard a lot of things. While
I can’t explain every single second that happened in my life while
I was asleep, I’m finding that a lot of the big things have
correlated, in some way, to reality.” He didn’t say anything, his
lips pursed together in a flat line. It was easy to see he was
displeased with the shift in conversation. “In my world, you died
from brain cancer after not letting any of us know. One day you
were there, and the next you weren’t. I have to say, that sounds
kind of cowardly for the tough grandpa I always knew.”

“I’m not being cowardly. I’m trying to
protect the ones I love,” he retorted sharply, before rubbing his
hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not protecting us.
How would you feel if one of us was sick and we didn’t tell you?
We’re your family and we deserve to make our last memories with you
special, with no regrets left behind. We deserve the chance to tell
you goodbye properly.”

Grandpa sat quietly, unspeaking, but I
couldn’t bring myself to feel bad about what I’d said to him. There
was no way I was going to keep this a secret from everyone
else.

After several long moments, I spoke again.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you, or bulldoze you over; but if
you won’t tell them, I will. I just spent what I thought was years
of my life mourning the people I thought I’d lost. I never got to
tell my dad, Nikki—even you—goodbye; and I’m sorry, but it sucks. I
can’t, in good conscience, put someone else through that horror.
And that’s what it is—horror. You think you’re protecting people,
but you’re not giving anyone time to prepare.”

Glancing up, he made a sound that was
something between a snort and a wry chuckle. “You’re really upset
about this, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea how much. Let people help
you. You’ve taken care of us all this time, let us return the
favor.”

Narrowing his eyes, he stared at me. “What
happened in that dream of yours? You seem . . . I don’t
know, different. Maybe stronger is a better word choice.”

Leaning my head back against my pillow, I
stared at the ceiling. I’d been thinking nonstop about all this
stuff since I’d awakened. “I learned that nothing is more important
than the people you love, and that life is way too short to sit
around and wait for something to happen
to
you. You’ve got
to make those things happen. I learned that sometimes, when life
seems so bleak that you can’t stand to face it, there is still a
door to happiness and second chance, somewhere.

“I’m not going to waste my time doing
trivial things. I’ve been given a chance I never thought I’d
have—the chance to live the life I
really
wanted, over
again. You’re part of that life and I want to spend the time I have
left with you doing things we both love—together. I think everyone
else who loves you should get the same opportunity.”

He sighed, heavily. “I guess I never thought
of things from the perspective of others, but I see your point.
Don’t worry, I’ll talk to your mom and Grandma.”

Even though he’d chosen to see my side of
things, I still didn’t feel much better. “Have you explored all
your options?” I asked, my heart tightening at the thought of
losing him.

Nodding, he stared at me. “Traditional
medicine has nothing to offer. I’ve talked to a naturopathic center
that has had good results with cancer treatment. They said they
didn’t know if I could be cured, but they thought they could help
to treat it and perhaps extend my time of living. It’s not covered
by insurance, though. I’d have to put the ranch up as collateral. I
don’t want to do that because I want to make sure it’s here as an
income source for the family. I’m leaving half to Caroline, and I
changed my will so half will be left to you.”

Tears sprang into my eyes. “I don’t want the
damn ranch, Grandpa. I want to spend all the time I can with you.
If I have to spend every dime on this planet just to have you live
a week longer, it will be worth it. Do the treatment. Let’s hope
for the miracle.”

Staring at me, he smiled softly and tears
leaked over the rims of his eyes, trailing down his cheeks. “Chase,
I already got the miracle I’ve been praying for. I got you
back.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Grandpa didn’t leave after our extremely
emotional talk. He was still around when I turned on the television
and began flipping through some of the sports channels. He seemed
content to just sit beside me and watch too, which made me feel
good.

A commercial popped on advertising a NFL
collector’s edition football highlight video and it made me think
about my team I’d been playing with when the accident happened.
“So, what happened with the football team after my accident?” I
asked, suddenly realizing I didn’t actually know. “Did they make it
to State?”

“They struggled pretty bad without you in
the beginning. It was really emotional for a lot of the guys after
what had happened to you. Then they had to find their groove with
Chad, your replacement, which caused some hot tempered moments here
and there, but eventually they started clicking again.” He glanced
over at me. “They had arm bands made with your number, 23, on them
and wore them the rest of the season.”

“Seriously?” I laughed, feeling surprised
and slightly overwhelmed. I never thought these guys would do
something like that for me.

Grandpa nodded. “Yep. Coach Hardin got you a
hat and one of the State Championship rings. I have them for you at
the house.”

“Really? He brought me that stuff? Why? I
didn’t even play in the rest of the games.”

“You were just as much a part of the team as
any of the others, Chase. You may not have finished the season, but
you’re the one who got them off to a good start. You worked hard
and you deserved it.”

Raising a shaky hand, I brushed my hair away
from my eyes, feeling the scar that now marked me there. “I’m sorry
I missed it—and the rest of my senior year, for that matter. I’ll
be too old to play next season, even if I do go back to finish
school. Of course, with my knee the way it is, I probably wouldn’t
be able to, anyway.”

He stared at me for a moment. “Have the
doctors or anyone talked to you about sports?” he asked, suddenly
looking uncomfortable.

“No. Why? Is my knee too messed up to play
anymore?” That wouldn’t be a surprise to me at all, if my dream was
any indication.

Pausing, he appeared to be measuring his
words carefully before he finally spoke. “I think they feel it will
heal okay, but that’s not what they’re worried about.”

“What’s wrong then?” A sense of dread
started to pool inside me, what else didn’t I know?

“With a head injury the magnitude of what
you sustained, the doctors have said you need to stay away from
contact sports, or there is a risk of reinjuring your brain and
ending up with permanent damage.”

“For how long?” I asked, unable to believe
what I was hearing. I’d never even considered this. I mean, I was
awake now and had passed all the tests they’d done on me—didn’t
that mean I was healed?

Leaning forward, he grabbed my hand and
squeezed it. “I don’t want you to worry about this right now. You
have other things you need to be concentrating on. More important
things.”

“How long?” I demanded to know the
answer.

He paused, sighing heavily, before he shook
his head. “For the rest of your life, I’m afraid.”

The air whooshed from my lungs and I leaned
my head back against the pillow. I stared at the ceiling, realizing
I must’ve known some of this already. I’d been living with
something similar in my mind. But that still didn’t make things
hurt any less. My reality in both worlds was clear. I was losing
football—sports period, in this case. My athletic career was
over—permanently. There was no coming back from this.

“Are you okay?” Grandpa asked, sounding
worried. “Talk to me.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine. I don’t know why
things have happened this way, but what’s done is done. Am I
disappointed? Absolutely. Am I devastated? No. I still have the
things that are the most important to me. The rest will fall into
place eventually. I’ll figure out something.”

“I know you want to be strong, but I also
know this has to be a huge blow for you. I’m here if you want to
talk about it. Any time. Just say the word.” Releasing my hand, he
leaned back in the chair.

“Thanks.”

Silence fell between us once more and we
both stared at the television, but this time, as I watched the
sports channel, I was seeing all the things I’d never be able to do
again. It really was amazing, the things I’d taken for granted in
my life before all of this. I wasn’t going to make that mistake
again. If there was one thing I’d learned, it was there was no
point in wallowing. It wasn’t going to change anything.

Besides, the universe, or God, or whoever
was in charge, had given me back the one thing I’d wanted more than
anything in the world.

“Hi, guys!” Nikki’s voice said
cheerfully.

And here she was, right now. My breath
caught and I felt like the luckiest guy ever born. She was so
beautiful, her face radiant, brown eyes sparkling so vividly. It
was crazy how she had the ability to take my breath away every time
I saw her.

“Hey, babe.” Smiling, I patted the spot on
the bed beside me. “Come join me.” I wanted her as close to me as
possible. I hated every moment we were separated from each
other.

She didn’t hesitate, setting her bag on the
end table and climbing onto the bed. “Look who’s all cleaned up and
shaved.” She leaned over, kissing my cheek. “You smell so
good.”

“Crazy how showers can do that, huh?” I
thought
she
smelled amazing and I loved the feel of her
cuddled up beside me, I lifted my arm so she could snuggle closer.
“Grandpa came to help me out.”

“Well, I think you look great—more like your
usual self.”

“Yeah, me, only fifty pounds skinnier. I’m a
skeleton. I hardly recognized myself in the mirror.”

“I think you look amazing—just like you
are.”

Grandpa cleared his throat and I realized
we’d completely forgotten he was in the room. “Well, I’ll let you
kids have some time to yourselves. I told Grandma I’d pick up a few
items she needed for dinner, tonight.” Standing, he came around the
bed to give me a quick hug.