Chase of a Lifetime (9 page)

At first, it felt as Jim had always imagined
a dick would feel inside his mouth. It was a little salty, but Jim had tasted
his own come before and he knew this was Len’s pre-come. Len continued to suck
and lick Jim very slowly, treating him as though he might break at any moment.
But it wasn’t as easy for Jim to control his instincts. He’d never had a man in
his mouth before and the magnitude of this overwhelmed him to the point of
exasperation. Just the faint damp smell coming from between Len’s legs caused
beads of perspiration to form at Jim’s temples.

He tried to control these urges for as long
as he could. Len had a lighter touch; he moved with alacrity but not too rough.
Len seemed to prefer licking and sucking to taking Jim all the way to the back
of his throat. He seemed to enjoy what Jim was doing to him more than what he
was doing to Jim. The intimacy made Jim feel secure. But the anticipation
almost drove him insane with a kind of rare passion he was too young to
control. In the future, Jim
 
would never
be certain at which point the transition occurred, but one minute they were
resting quietly in a sixty-nine position and the next minute Len was flat in
his back, Jim was kneeling over him, and Len’s dick was so far down Jim ’s throat
Len’s pubic hair was in his nose.

As Jim’s head bobbed up and down, Len moaned
in soft whispers for him to continue. At one point he touched the sides of Jim’s
face and said, “Yes, don’t stop.”

Submissive instinct kicked in: Jim wanted to
please him. He continued sucking until he felt the head of Len’s dick swell
inside his mouth. He would have sucked harder and faster if Len hadn’t grabbed
his head and said, “I don’t want to come this way. And if you don’t stop I’m
not going to be able to control myself.”

After that, Len went up on his knees and he
guided Jim’s head toward the pillows. When Len set his head on the soft
pillows, he kissed Jim on the mouth again. He climbed on top of Jim and they
remained this way even longer than the first time they’d kissed. The only difference
this time was that Len’s right hand went down between Jim’s legs and he played with
Jim’s ass the entire time. Each time Len’s fingertips touched Jim’s anus, a
thrill went up his spine and his back arched.

While Len’s fingers explored, Jim opened his
legs and remained lost in the kissing. This one act alone...kissing and holding
a man that was all his own…had been one of the fantasies Jim had always
imagined: kissing a big strong man without worrying, submitting to him
completely without caring what anyone thought, did, or said. No one was judging
him now; he could do everything to this man he’d always wanted to do. It was
even better than he’d imagined. If Len had decided all he wanted to do that
night was make out and kiss in bed, Jim would have been satisfied. He’d heard
and read stories about how first times were dismal at best and traumatic at
worst. This was anything but dismal or traumatic. It was tender and gentle and
it left Jim wanting and needing more. By the time Len had two fingers inside Jim’s
body, Jim’s hand was on the back of Len’s head and he was moaning inside Len’s
mouth.

At one point, Len inserted a third finger
and Jim’s head went back. Len asked, “Are you okay? Is that too much?”

Jim had trouble speaking. It felt so good he
couldn’t form a clear, cohesive sentence. “It’s fine. Don’t stop,” he said, in
a wrecked voice. Then he grabbed Len’s biceps and shoved his tongue back into
Len’s mouth.

As Len’s three fingers moved in and out of Jim’s
body, Jim couldn’t get enough. He surprised himself at one point when he lifted
his legs all the way up, pointed his toes, and said, “Put on a condom.”

Len’s hand stopped moving. He kissed him and
lifted his head. With his fingers still buried in Jim’s body he asked, “Are
sure? I was going to take it slowly tonight and not force you into anything. I
figured we’d make out and keep it simple.”

Jim nodded. He caressed Len’s face with a
light touch and said, “I’m fine. Put on a condom.”

While Len climbed off the bed to get a
condom from his pants pocket, Jim sat up, turned around, and got down on all
fours. He started to feel even more secure now. The emotional connection he’d
made with Len made all the difference. He faced the window and arched his back.
By the time Len had covered his dick and returned, Jim’s legs were spread and
his bottom was up high. This was the position he’d always imagined himself in
while he’d jacked off to photos of nude men or sex videos online. And this was
the position he wanted to be in when he took a man for the first time.

Len climbed onto the bed and grabbed Jim’s
hip with his left hand. He took his dick in his right and pointed it toward
Jim’s body. “The condom is pre-lubed. Is that okay?”

Jim flung him a backward glance and nodded.
“Yes, it’s okay.” Then he spread his legs a little wider and relaxed every
muscle the way he always had when he’d fucked himself with a dildo.

When Len mounted him, his head went back and
his lips parted. He clenched the bedcover and moaned out loud. The initial penetration
hurt so much Jim thought he’d gone deaf and blind. The pain shot from the lips
of his anus, through his abdomen, right up to his back teeth. And as Len slid
in deeper, the torture only intensified. At one point he took a quick breath
and shouted, “Ah fuck.”

“Should I pull out?” Len stopped moving and
rubbed Jim’s back.

There were tears in Jim’s eyes; it hurt so
bad he wanted to punch something. Len was larger than he’d imagined he’d be and
they should have used extra lube. “No,” he said. “I’m fine.” He knew the pain
would pass. He’d experienced it before when he hadn’t used enough lube with one
of his dildos.

By the time Len was in as far as he could
go, Jim’s toes curled and he bit the cover. The pain took longer to subside
than he’d thought it would. But when Len started bucking his hips, something
interesting happened. The rubbing created friction at the lips of Jim’s anus
and the pain diminished. As it dissipated, a sense of fullness and warmth came
over him and Jim took his first sigh of relief since Len had entered him.

Len gave him one deep thrust and asked, “Are
you okay now? I can stop if you want.”

Jim nodded and said, “I’m fine. You were
just a little bigger than I thought you were. I underestimated
you
.” Then he wiggled his hips and
backed up a little. He’d also overestimated what he could handle, but he wasn’t
willing to admit that aloud.

After that, Len moved faster and slid in and
out of Jim with more force. There was no pain now; just fullness and a sense of
absolute satisfaction. One of the things Jim discovered that night was that
with a real man it was faster and the most sensitive spot deep in his body
became aroused quicker than when he was alone with his toys. He reached the
edge with more intensity than he would have if he had been alone in his bedroom
with nothing but his fantasies of men. He had to concentrate hard to control
his climax, waiting for Len to catch up so they could climax at the same time.
He’d once read this wasn’t important. No one was responsible for someone else’s
orgasm. But Jim didn’t agree, at least not totally. He did believe he had a
certain amount of responsibility to his lover, and he had a feeling Len felt
the same way.

At one point, between heavy breaths, Len
said, “I’m close. Tell me when you’re close.”

Jim reached back and held Len’s right leg,
as if trying to pull him in deeper. This wasn’t possible. Len was already in as
deeply as he could go. “I’m close now. Don’t stop.” Then he released Len’s
thigh and reached between his legs so he could hold his erection.

That’s when Len began to slam into him with
loud cracks. He pushed Jim forward so far his stomach was only inches away from
the mattress. They came together that night without saying a single word. Jim
only had to hold his penis and rub a few times. Len went in as deep as he could
and his body began to shudder. For an instant, there was a loud screeching
sound inside Jim’s head. Though Jim didn’t see fireworks or anything as
dramatic as he’d heard or read about, he did experience an intense sound
followed by absolute silence. Len fell on top of him and pinned him face down
on the bed. He remained inside, squeezing his buttocks, resting his weight on Jim’s
back.

For a moment, Len set his cheek on Jim’s
shoulder and closed his eyes. Jim listened while Len tried to slow his
breathing; he felt drops of perspiration on his neck. Jim remained there in
silence, waiting for Len to make the next move. When he least expected it, Len
kissed the back of his neck and said, “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever
known. The chase of a lifetime just ended tonight.”

Though Jim wasn’t exactly sure what Len
meant by this, he reached forward for Len’s hand and squeezed it. “We should
get dressed now. It has to be very late.”

“I hate to let you go,” Len said. “Can’t we
just stay here all night?”

The thought of slithering down to the main
lobby the next morning in the same clothes he’d worn the day before caused a
strange sensation in Jim’s stomach. And when he thought about walking into this
mother and father’s house the next morning in those clothes, he almost started
choking. Though he wanted to remain like this with Len all night, he couldn’t
stop thinking about people they knew, and what those people would do if they knew
Jim and Len had just made love in a hotel room. So he kissed Len’s fingers and
said, “We have to get dressed. I’d like to get home when it’s still dark
outside and sneak up to my room.”

For a few days, Jim didn’t hear from Len. He
remained in his bedroom for most of that time either reading or listening to
music. He didn’t eat with his mother and father. He pilfered food from the
refrigerator late at night and brought it back to his room, where he would sit
in the dark, naked on his bed, watching late night television talk shows with
comedians that didn’t make him crack a smile. He’d stare at the flat screen on
the wall above his childhood dresser, eating a leftover egg roll or a sandwich,
thinking about what had happened with Len Mayfield in the hotel room. Before he
went to sleep, he’d pull out his dildo and think about Len one last time.

When he did venture out of the house, he
took long drives in his new car, with the top down and the wind blowing through
his hair. He drove faster than he should have; he didn’t wear a seatbelt. In
the late afternoons, right before he knew his father was returning from work,
he would go down to the stable and saddle up his favorite horse. The old guy
who managed the stables would be gone for the day and Jim wouldn’t have to
smile or fake conversation with anyone.

On the third day, Jim’s cell phone rang at
nine o’clock at night. He’d been watching a stupid reality show on TV where
they treated gay guys like pet poodles, wondering if he should get a new dildo…one
he could fasten to the wall with a suction cup. He didn’t think he’d hear from
Len Mayfield again. So when the phone rang he didn’t jump for it. He let it
ring a few times, reached over to his nightstand and yawned at the same time,
and answered without even checking to see who it was first.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. We had
a problem with Cain and we had to sort things out,” Len said.

Jim pressed his palm to his chest and
gulped. He hadn’t expected to hear Len’s voice that night. “Ah well. Was it
serious?” He tried to keep his voice down but couldn’t help smiling.

Len hesitated for a moment. “I’d rather not
talk about it right now. I feel like shit because I haven’t called you. I can’t
even imagine what you must have thought. I’m sorry.”

Jim looked up at the ceiling and rolled his
eyes. He’d thought all the worst things; he’d even cursed Len a few times. “I
didn’t think anything. I’m not upset. I had a feeling you’d call eventually.
The reason I didn’t call you is because I didn’t want you to get the wrong
idea.”

“Wrong idea?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was needy, or
emotionally unstable,” Jim said. “I’ve seen that sort of thing before with
situations like this. And I want you to know I’m not like that. I’m perfectly
stable.” He glanced down at his body and frowned. He didn’t look perfectly
stable. He was wearing an old sweat suit with stains that smelled like a locker
room hamper. He hadn’t showered in two days; he hadn’t bothered to brush his
hair in three. All he could think about was getting back into Len’s pants.

“What kind of situation is this?”

“Ah well,” Jim said. “You know what I mean.
What happened the other night and all.”

There was a breathy noise, as if Len had
just exhaled. “This isn’t a situation. I’m not exactly sure what it is yet. But
it’s not a situation. I should have called sooner but I got caught up in a
family thing. When can I see you again? We can talk more then.”

Jim swallowed and hesitated. “Well, whenever
is convenient for you I guess.”

“Tonight?”

He was surprised to hear the eagerness in
Len’s voice. “I guess I could meet you tonight,” Jim said. “Where?” He didn’t
want to sound too eager and sex starved.

“Meet me in about a half hour in the parking
lot behind the Crestview Bowling Alley,” Len said.

“Can we make it an hour,” Jim said. He
wanted to shower and prepare in case they made love again. But he didn’t want
to be obvious about it. “I have to do something first.”

“See you in an hour,” Len said.

Before he turned off the phone, Jim was out
of his bed and running into his bathroom. He jumped into the shower, did a
quick manscape, and lathered up with a brand new body wash. He blew out his
short hair and shaved his face in record time. When he put on his jeans his
legs were still damp. He decided on a white button down shirt that night
because it would be easier to remove. He wore no underwear or socks; just a new
pair of pale blue basketball shoes he’d paid way too much money for in a small
shop in
Princeton
the week before he’d
graduated from college.