Chartreuse (18 page)

Chapter
Nineteen

    
Rowan’s gut instincts were rarely wrong.  There was more to the story than
Kasen was telling him.  He’d felt it before he left the house, and he felt it
now.  Sitting in the small radio station with Kasen was terribly
uncomfortable.  Tension hung heavily in the air, thick enough to slice with a
knife-Rowan didn’t like that.

     The
telephone line was blowing up as they stood there, gazing at one another. 
Kasen didn’t pay it any mind as his blue hues remained glued to Rowan’s brown. 
It was almost like a staring contest, except there wouldn’t be a victorious
winner in the end. 

    
Finally, he heaved a sigh and broke eye contact, “What did the caller say?”

     He
watched as Kasen crossed one ankle over the other, arms crossing over his chest
as he shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t reckon it’s important anymore.”

     “Damn
it, Kase.   Don’t be like that,” Rowan pleaded as he frowned.  “Something’s got
you acting like…” He motioned to his entire frame with one hand. “…this.  What
happened?”

    
Kasen wrinkled his nose, lifting his eyes towards the ceiling as he shook his
head, “It’s just stupid, Rowan.  There ain’t no reason for you to get worked up
over it.”

    
Rowan was growing impatient, and he would’ve voiced his frustrations had it not
been for the fact he heard Kasen sniffling.  A sound like that could cause
devastating effects, and it truly sliced his heart to shreds when he realized
Kasen was trying to hold back a flood of tears.

     
“Hey,” Rowan leaned forward in his seat, reaching out to touch Kasen’s knee
gently.  “Hey, no….what’s the matter?”

    
Kasen was struggling to maintain his composure; Rowan could see that much.  He
was on his knees at Kasen’s side in an instant, staring up at him with
gentleness and compassion sparkling in his sad eyes.

    
“Kase, Baby, what did they say to you?”  It was difficult to keep his anger at
bay.  Seeing Kasen so upset only made Rowan want to punch somebody in the
face-several times for good measure.  If only he could get the kid to talk to
him…..

    
“Somebody knows,” Kasen finally replied, quickly knuckling away a tear as it
slid down his cheek.  “They, uh, called and said that I was going to die,” He
scoffed bitterly.  “I have to say, for the first death threat I’ve received in
my life time, I’m handling it fairly well, huh?”

    
Rowan shook his head quickly, his fingertips digging into Kasen’s knee as he
clenched his teeth, “No,” He whispered.  “You shouldn’t ever have to handle a
death threat, Kase.  That person?” He tilted his head to the side.  “Baby, that
person is
wrong
.  People like that are so….so stupid.  No one in the
world has any right to say stupid shit to you.”

    
“Yeah, well, they did,” Kasen sighed, blinking repeatedly as more tears
glistened in his eyes.  “It’s funny, you know…I spent my whole life avoiding
this kind of thing.  I went all throughout elementary school and high school
without any issues….but let me finally meet somebody….”  His voice drifted off
but the tears remained. 

    
Rowan leaned upwards, pressing a kiss against Kasen’s forehead as he rubbed his
back in a consoling manner, “It’s not right,” He repeated, blinking back his
own tears.  “This isn’t fair to you, Kase.  I can handle this shit, but you
shouldn’t have to.”

    
“What do you mean you can handle it?” Kasen asked, pulling back to stare at him
with eyes full of surprise.  “This has happened to you before?”

     “Oh
yeah,” Rowan nodded.  “More than once, unfortunately.  I used to get bullied a
lot in middle school,” He traced his tongue over his lower lip, frowning as he
recalled the memories.  “Had my ass handed to me more than once, but that all
changed when I started taking boxing lessons.”

    
“Boxing lessons?” Kasen’s eyebrows shot up on his forehead.  “You never told me
that before.”

    
“There are a lot of things I haven’t told you, Kasen.  Not yet, at least,” His
eyes dimmed as he exhaled through his nostrils, his arm wrapping around Kasen’s
shoulders as he pulled him into an embrace.  “But I have dealt with it
before….and I’m dealing with it now, too.”

    
“What?” Kasen was pulling away again, and Rowan really wished he’d stop doing
that.  He just wanted to hold him; to comfort him.  He couldn’t do that if the
kid kept bouncing off him like a yo-yo, could he?

    
“Yeah,” He released a low breath and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Remember
how I cancelled our Thanksgiving plans?”

     “Uh
huh,” Kasen nodded.

     “I
went to the clinic to check on Sosa and….” He dropped his head, shaking it
slowly.  “I guess people here aren’t as accepting of equality as I was
beginning to hope.”

    
“What did they do to the clinic?” Kasen asked in a lower voice.

    
Rowan scoffed quietly, his eyes meeting Kasen’s as his eyebrows lowered on his
forehead.  He gave a small roll of his shoulders as he sighed.  Instead of
simply replying, he pulled his cellphone from his coat pocket and quickly
scrolled to his pictures.  Then he offered the phone to the other male.

     He
was silent as he watched Kasen’s thumb slide over the screen, bringing up
picture after picture of every possible angle.  He could see the gears in his
head grinding, and he realized it had been a mistake to hide this from Kasen in
the first place.  He wasn’t a child.  He deserved better than this.

     When
blue eyes finally lifted to meet his once more, Rowan could only nod in
confirmation.  He could see the disbelief written all over Kasen’s handsome
face; the horror his eyes did not try to conceal as his lips anchored into a
frown.

    
“They did this to the clinic?” Kasen whispered.  “To you?”

    
Rowan nodded.

    
“But why?” Kasen shook his head before standing and moving towards the door
that led into the hallway.  He ran his palm down the length of his face, slowly
turning to face Rowan.  “Why do people have to do that?  Why do they even
bother?  It isn’t their life…it’s ours,” He swallowed hard.  “Why?”

     If
Rowan only had a simple response for that.  He was standing in front of Kasen
before he knew it, cupping his face in his hands as he gazed into his eyes, “I
don’t know,” He whispered, tracing his thumb beneath his right eye, just in
time to catch a fresh tear.  “But I promise we’re not going to let them get
away with it.”

    
“And what are we supposed to do about it?” Kasen questioned in a trembling
voice.  “Call the cops? You think they’re going to help us?”  He scoffed,
pressing his back against the door as he rolled his eyes.  “Please.  This is
Chartreuse we’re talking about, Ro.  They don’t give a damn about
us
.”

    
“Well, they’re going to,” Rowan insisted as he stepped closer.  He wasn’t about
to let Kasen get away from him again.  They still had a lot to talk about. 
This issue wasn’t their only worry at the moment.  “I don’t care if I have to
call the white house, this is going to stop.  We have just as much right to
live and love freely as they do.”

    
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Kasen sneered.  “But what does it even matter
anyway, huh?  It’s not like we’re boyfriends or anything.  You can just go back
to your clinic and I’ll keep doing this…people will eventually get the hint
that we’re not a threat.  We won’t pollute their children’s lives or rub the
gay off on them.”

    
Rowan blinked, “What?” He asked softly, tilting his head to the side.  “What
are you talking about, Kase?”

    
Kasen huffed as he stared at him, his nostrils flaring in obvious anger, “I’m
talking about how you’ve ignored me for two days.  If they see that we’re not
together, they’ll stop being bullying pricks.  It’ll go away. Problem solved.”

    
“Kasen,” Rowan moved a hand to the back of his neck.  “I’m an ass, okay?” His
brows lifted as he tried to keep their gazes connected.  “I was trying to
protect you in my own stupid way.  I thought that if we had some distance
between us, they wouldn’t come after you, too…..but I was obviously wrong-and
stupid.  See? Stupid.  I can admit that to you, and I’m so….so, so sorry that I
even chose isolation as an option.  It’s not what I want, at all.”

    
“Then why’d you do it?” Kasen tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, biting
roughly at the tender flesh as his watery eyes lingered on Rowan’s face.  “You
have no idea what was going through my mind.  For a split second, I even had
this insane idea that you got what you wanted from me and that’s why you pushed
me away.”

    
“Got what I wanted?” Rowan didn’t really understand what he meant by that.  Or
wait….
oh
.  Yes, he did understand now, and it was so far from the
truth.  “You thought I just wanted sex from you?”

    When
Kasen dropped his head and didn’t reply, Rowan felt a strong urge to kick
himself in the ass.  God, what was wrong with him?  How did he manage to make
Kasen feel like a piece of meat? 

    
Sighing, he rested his forehead against Kasen’s shoulder and breathed in the
scent of his body wash.  He loved the smell of Kasen’s soap.  His hand slowly
slid down his back as he pulled him closer, turning his head slowly to press a
kiss against the side of his neck.

     “If
you ever believe anything I say, Kase, believe this,” He pulled his head back
enough to meet his gaze.  “I would
never
do that to anybody, and I would
especially never do it to
you
.”

----------------------

     The
anger was slowly subsiding, but Kasen was positive he would never forget how
the events from the night made him feel.  He was angry-and not just a little
bit.  He was so mad that he wanted to punch something, or cause somebody a lot
of harm.  He could feel the fury racing through his veins and it was enough to
make his eyes cross.  Rowan had a calming effect on him, but he made a vow to
himself, right then and there, that he would not be silent on the issue. 

    
Chartreuse was his home.  He’d grown up around the locals and he deserved to
live in happiness just as they did.  It was time to stop being the anonymous
voice everyone heard on the radio, and become the face they needed to see in
order for things to get better.

    
“I’m not afraid of this,” He admitted silently as he watched the smoke rise
from the end of his cigarette.  He slowly turned his head to gaze at Rowan
tiredly.  It was almost time for him to go home, and he was so grateful that
Rowan decided to be stubborn and stay with him.  He
really
didn’t want
to be alone, after all.

     “I’m
proud of you for not being afraid,” Rowan replied in a gentle tone as he slid
his hand across the desk to touch Kasen’s.  “We shouldn’t have to be afraid,
Kase.  I’m just afraid of you getting hurt.  I don’t want anything to happen to
you.”

    
“What are they going to do to me?” Kasen asked as he took the final drag off
his cancer stick and snuffed it out in the ashtray.  “Call me again?  Beat me?”

     “No
one is going to touch you,” Rowan nearly growled as his eyes flashed with
anger.  “They won’t lay a hand on you, Kase.  You can trust me on that.”

     “I
do trust you,” Kasen sighed, rubbing at his eyes before leaning back in his
chair.  “I’m just so….so frustrated over this entire situation.  All my life,
I’ve been the quiet guy who let people trample all over him.  I am
done
being that guy.  I don’t want to sit back and watch this happen, Ro.  It’s on
TV all the time…..but I’m not going to let it happen in my hometown, where I
live.  I mean, it’s not like I get to leave this place.”

    “You
could,” Rowan said suddenly, causing Kasen to look at him with wide eyes.  “You
could leave.  You could go somewhere else, you know?  We could go anywhere else
you wanted.”

     His
teeth latched onto his bottom lip as he dropped his gaze to the floor.  Damn. 
He needed another cigarette.  So that’s what he did before he replied.  He lit
up another cigarette and took in a lungful of smoke before exhaling through his
nostrils.

     “I
appreciate the offer, Rowan-I really do….but why should I have to leave?  Where
is the law stating a gay man can’t live in Chartreuse and be free to love who
he wants just like everybody else?”  Whoa.  He was starting to sound like
Jessica.  Maybe he needed to hang out around her more often.

    
“There isn’t a law like that,” Rowan scowled.  “People are just stupid, Kasen. 
They literally believe that we’re abominations.  We’re sinners in their eyes,
and do you want to know something?” He pointed a finger towards the ceiling and
cocked his head to the side.  “That guy up there?  He would tell them they’re
being idiots and He would disown them in a heartbeat.  They think they’re doing
what He wants, but they’ve never been more wrong.”

    
Kasen had to refrain from laughing as he shook his head, flicking his ashes
into the ashtray,  “Yeah, try telling that to people like my mom.  You do know
that’s why she hates me, right?”