Chartreuse (15 page)

     “It
does,” Rowan replied quickly.  It was one of those instances in life when
everything he meant to say came out as a big ball of confusion.  He tried to
get his thoughts in order as he reached out to touch Kasen’s smooth cheek.  “I
like you, too…..more than I can express.  I just….last night was a sobering
experience for me, Kase.  That was
bad
.  That was really bad and I
wanted to kill that man.  I don’t want to take advantage of your
vulnerability.  Do you understand what I’m saying?”

    
Kasen rolled his eyes, pulling away from his touch as he got up from the bed. 
He swayed back and forth for a few seconds before steadying himself.

    
“Yeah, I understand perfectly,” He mumbled, turning his back to Rowan before he
made his way into the bathroom and shut the door.

     As
soon as the sound of the shower turning on reached his ears, Rowan fought the
urge to smack himself in the forehead. 
Stupid.  Stupid!
 

Chapter
Sixteen

    
He didn’t understand at all.  Why did Rowan treat him like a fragile piece of
porcelain?  Kasen knew he was more sheltered than other guys his age, but damn
it, he wouldn’t break so easily.  He’d grown up with a tough mother and had
quickly adapted to taking care of himself….this was so stupid.

    
He soaped his hair up quickly, stepping beneath the scalding stream of water
again as he stared at the bottom of the tub.  He didn’t care if suds got in his
eyes.  In fact, he didn’t care about anything at that moment.  So last night
was bad—okay, he understood that.  Things could’ve gone way worse and that
would be a different story altogether…but Rowan had prevented it from
happening.

    
Pasta Salad to the rescue…. 
 If he hadn’t been so angry, he would’ve
found humor in the thought, but he was too frustrated to think about laughing. 
Why couldn’t Rowan see he was ready for something more?  He’d been waiting his
whole life for this to happen, to meet someone he felt comfortable around and
could be happy with.  Rowan had entered his life and burrowed his way into
Kasen’s heart….couldn’t he see that?

    
Kasen released a sigh, resting his forehead against the cool tile of the wall
as the water slid down his back, easing the tension in his muscles as he tried
to get his mind to relax.  It wasn’t worth it to get worked up over this.  So
what if Kasen didn’t understand how relationships worked just yet?  He was
trying to learn and it would take time. 

    
Relationship,
he mumbled inwardly.
 You’re not even in a
relationship, you dummy.  Rowan hasn’t asked you to be his boyfriend.

    
Oh,
but how he wished Rowan would ask him.  They had fun together, didn’t they? 
And God, the way Rowan kissed him…..

    
His eyes closed as he replayed every kiss like a video reel in his mind. 
Rowan’s taste lingered on his tongue as he traced the wet muscle over his
bottom lip.  It tingled from the anticipation of feeling that mouth against his
again.

    
This is stupid,
he finally concluded as he let his head fall back,
allowing the water to wash away the soapy suds from his drenched locks. 
I
can’t be mad over him trying to respect me.  At least he –does- respect me.

    
He reached down to turn off the water when the shower curtain suddenly flew
open and the cool room air tickled at his heated flesh.  He turned his head and
was surprised to see Rowan standing there. 
Naked.

    
It took everything in Kasen to keep from gawking as the older male joined him
in the shower.  Tingles shot down his spine from the close proximity of their
bodies, and Kasen suddenly found it hard to breathe.

    
Just
stay calm.  Just stay calm,
he chanted in his mind as he felt Rowan lean
forward.  He was reaching for the shampoo; that much was obvious, but Kasen
found it to be a challenge to remain calm as Rowan’s rock hard chest pressed
into his back.  The simple thrill of skin against skin made him feel lightheaded
as he licked his lips.

     The
seconds ticked by as he stood there in silence, listening to Rowan as he
lathered up his body and hair, saying nothing as water splashed around their
feet.  What the hell was he doing?  Trying to kill him?

     Two
large hands rested against his shoulders, and Kasen felt himself being shuffled
about as Rowan stepped in front of him long enough to rinse his hair.  His blue
eyes raked down Rowan’s naked back and his body immediately responded.  God,
did it ever.

    
Rowan turned to gaze at him as water dripped from the tip of his nose.  His smoldering
brown eyes stared straight into his soul.  Kasen couldn’t even remember why
he’d been angry in the first place as Rowan took a step towards him.

    
“I’m sorry,” Rowan whispered, lifting a wet hand to trace his fingertips over
Kasen’s trembling jaw.  “Do you forgive me?”

     It
took him a full ten seconds to register what the man was saying.  He blinked
rapidly, snapping out of his daze, “I’m sorry, too,” He murmured.

    
“No, I mean it,” Rowan insisted in a huskier tone.  That tone caused Kasen’s
insides to melt as Rowan cupped his face between his hands, taking yet another
step closer.  “I’m sorry that I seem so hard headed about things.  I just…never
want to see you get hurt, Kase.  I never want to be the reason you’re hurt.”

    
“You’re not going to hurt me,” Kasen insisted in a quivering voice.  He closed
the distance between their bodies, relishing in the sensation of Rowan’s naked
flesh touching against his.  “Have a little faith in me.”

     “I
do have faith in you,” Rowan promised as his fingertips slowly trailed down his
spine, causing Kasen to suck in a sharp breath.  “I’m just terrified I’ll ruin
this, and I never want to do that.”

    
“You’re not going to ruin anything,” Kasen managed to say after gulping down a
lungful of air.  His body was humming in excitement as Rowan’s fingertips
lightly touched the base of his spine.  His erection twitched in torturous
anticipation as he placed one of his feet between both of Rowan’s.  “I want
you.”

    
Kasen was astonished by the words leaving his mouth.  Had he ever voiced
wanting anything before?  Even as a small child, he never expressed interest in
things that appealed to him.  No matter how many other kids in his class bragged
about having Transformers or micro-machines, he never once asked his mother to
buy him one.

     Was
he seriously comparing Rowan to a toy?  Yes.  Yes, he was.  Rowan was the
perfect toy, and Kasen wanted to keep him as his own for as long as Rowan would
allow.  He would cherish him and take care of him…he would never put him on a
shelf to collect dust.  Yes, he wanted him….and he would ask for this one thing
in his life.

     “I
want you,” He repeated as he rested his hands against Rowan’s naked hips.  He
swallowed his nerves back into place as he pulled him closer, feeling the
sizzling touch of Rowan’s hardening length against his own.  A rush of euphoria
overwhelmed him and he was certain he’d pass out right then and there.

    
Rowan’s eyes searched his face as he kept his arms firmly around his upper
body. It was a good thing the older male was holding him, because there was a
good chance Kasen would lose his balance and fall-and that would be
embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

     “I
want you, too,” Rowan whispered in that deep baritone voice.  “I’ve wanted you
since the moment I laid eyes on you, Kase.”

    
Kasen felt warmth surging through his chest, pooling into his stomach as the
butterflies took flight again.  Excitement pulsated through his fingertips. 
His knees trembled, threatening to give out on him as Rowan’s confession
replayed in his brain.  He didn’t even try to fight the smile that spread wide
on his lips.

    
“Same,” He agreed with a small nod.  “So what do you want to do about it?”

     Rowan’s
mouth suddenly crashed down against his, and Kasen wasted no time in wrapping
his arms around his neck, keeping him close.  He kissed him hungrily-as if his
life depended on it.  Everything had been building up to this very moment, and
he’d be damned if he let Rowan back out this time.

    
“Don’t you dare,” He whispered against his mouth as Rowan attempted to pull
back.

    
“I’m not getting out,” Rowan promised, trailing his fingertips down the curve
of Kasen’s spine.  “I swear it, Baby.”

    
Baby?  Kasen liked the sound of that.  He untangled his arms from around his
neck and lifted a brow.  Rowan grinned mischievously and it made Kasen wonder
what he was up to now.

    
“I’m not getting out,” He repeated as he gripped Kasen’s hips and dipped his head
down to kiss his shoulder.  “See?  I’m staying right here.”

    
“Good,” Kasen breathed out, his lips parting as Rowan’s lips trailed over his
collarbone.  He released a hum of appreciation.

    
“Very good,” Rowan mumbled against his skin, letting his tongue lap up the
water on Kasen’s chest.  “Delicious….”

    
Kasen’s eyes snapped open as he felt Rowan’s tongue moving lower, and after a
few seconds he realized that this was more than just a steamy make out
session.  His palm smacked against the tiles as he dropped his gaze to see the
glorious sight before him.  Rowan was on his knees and his tongue was swirling
around his bellybutton.

    
Oh
my sweet lord,
Kasen stared at him with wide eyes. 
Oh my god, his mouth
is….

    
“Oh,” He gasped.  His knees
buckled as he dug his fingertips into the wall, reaching down with his other
hand to tangle his fingers into Rowan’s soaked tresses.  “Oh my---
Oh
.”

----------------------

     The
drive back to Chartreuse was mostly silent, save for the sound of music playing
at a low volume.  Rowan kept one hand firmly on the wheel while the other
rested between their seats.  His fingers were laced with Kasen’s, holding his
hand comfortably as they made their way home.

     The
dark thoughts from the night before seemed to fade further and further away. 
He’d never forget it happened, and he imagined it would haunt his nightmares at
some point; but right now, he had new memories to think about and they caused
his heart to go into a fit of backflips and handstands.

     The
images of Kasen writhing beneath him were forever burned into his memory.  He
would never forget the way he moaned his name, or how wonderfully amazing it
felt to have Kasen’s legs wrapped around his waist as they made love.  Holy
shit.

     He
glanced at him occasionally, taking note of the small smile teasing at the
corners of Kasen’s mouth as he gazed out the window.  He wondered what he was
thinking about.  Was he thinking about him?  About what had just taken place a
few short hours before? 

     His
thumb traced over Kasen’s knuckles gently as he eased off the gas pedal and
slowed down as they approached the exit ramp.  Good ole Chartreuse.  When the
morning came, he knew he’d have to return to his regularly scheduled
programming and their latest adventure would be over. 

    
At
least he didn’t get hurt,
Rowan reminded himself as he stopped at the red
light and turned on his blinker to turn left.  In a few short moments, they
would be back in the sleepy little town that rolled up its streets before dusk,
and then it wouldn’t be long before he had to say goodnight.

    
“Did you have a good time?” Rowan asked once they were sitting in the apartment
complex parking lot.  He shut the engine off, leaving them in complete silence
as he turned his head to gaze at Kasen’s tired face.

    
“Yeah,” Kasen smiled gently.  “I did.”

    
Maybe they weren’t going to talk about that night again.  Maybe Kasen preferred
moving past it and pretending it never happened.  He would respect it, either
way, even though he wished Kasen would say something if it started to bother
him.

    
“I’m glad,” Rowan unbuckled quickly, leaning over to brush his lips against
Kasen’s.  “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

    
“You better,” Kasen laughed gently, his breath fanning against Rowan’s lips as
he lifted his hand to rest against the back of his neck.  “Are you sure you
can’t come up for a while?”

     “I
wish I could,” Rowan groaned softly, rolling his eyes.  “Napoleon’s probably
left me few surprises around the house and I don’t doubt he’s redecorated,
too.”

    
Kasen snickered, and Rowan thought it was just the cutest damn thing on earth. 
He turned his head to press a kiss against his temple as Kasen’s nose grazed
over his cheek, “Just remember how much you love him.”

    
“Yeah, yeah,” Rowan laughed gently as he found Kasen’s lips again, kissing him
tenderly.  “Sweet dreams,” He whispered.

     “Of
you,” Kasen promised, pecking his lips a final time before pulling away.  “See
you tomorrow, Pasta Salad.”