Caught Inside (15 page)

Lorna stood at the corner of my desk
with a smile on her face and a wariness as if to say, is it safe to
be in your office. I lifted my head with a weary smile as she
handed me a tissue, from a box in her other hand, then I collapsed
my head back against my desk. It was pounding now, from the stress
of losing Trey and trying to make him run away from me, because
that was what I had done.

Before long, I felt her hand on my
back rubbing it softly and telling me that it is going to be all
right. When I finally found it in me to look up, I looked into the
eyes of my personal secretary who had been everything to me in the
last three years, yet I had only been her boss. She had read my
mind, tried to make me laugh when I was too tense, always found a
way to make small suggestions like a good friend without judging
me, and now I felt I owed her an explanation.

Two hours later, Lorna handed me a
fresh box of Kleenex and told me that she respected me for trying
so hard but that nobody is perfect. That being so good at what I do
should have nothing to do with a man or having kids. They just make
the picture a bit more rounded, yes tougher at times, but then
again, they can make it easier too, just like having a friend to
talk to about it.

I felt as if a huge weight lifted off
my shoulders. How could I have gone through most of my corporate
life thinking that every single female was my competition? Sure, I
had strived to move the female force forward in the corporate world
when I could, yet a small part of me saw each and every one of them
as competition.

I always had this notion that
everybody thought I needed a man or kids to round my life out
perfectly. Then I thought of Prez's ambitions for me and laughed
internally. Sometimes people only want for you, what they have, not
because they think it will make you be a better person, but because
they want you to share in the journey. Ever since Prez got married
and had kids, she had encouraged all her unmarried and childless
staff to do the same. I just took it so seriously. Sure, the whole
escort thing had made it easier, but would my clients have worked
with me just the same? Most likely. Would I have been asked out on
several dates that I would have endured turning down if I attended
this functions single? A good chance. Instead of looking back at
what-ifs and should have's or had not, I stood up and hugged Lorna.
I thanked her for her friendship and told her I was taking the
afternoon off to get some spa time in before the local client
dinner tonight at the beach restaurant.

The entire time at the spa, I could
think of nothing more than Trey and is he really the ideal man for
me. He is so laid back, and I'm so rigid. He is cool surfer style,
and his spoken demeanor is opposite of my professional manner and
ideals in conversations. Although I did notice that when we were
together, we both rubbed off on each other a bit.

By the end of my spa treatment, I had
three hours before the client dinner tonight. I decided that I
would call Trey and ask him if he would like to attend, but first I
needed to apologize. He deserved that and I deserved to tell him
the truth about my fears and apprehensions. I knew it would allow
me the peace of mind if he truly knew where I stood in this
inability to commit to a relationship of marriage and kids. It was
a scary notion, sharing how I thought about it. To share it with
someone who might turn me away with disdain or decide I was not
worth the patience it would take to make our relationship run
smoothly. Because I knew, it would take a strong man to deal with
me and help me accept the things I have just been too scared to
accept. One of them being in a committed relationship and the other
was raising a kid, even if it was not my own.

While trying to find the courage to
call Trey, I banged my cell phone against my forehead gently
tapping it as I become more upset with myself over the fact that I
should have been more considerate with Trey's feelings. Not only
his, but Lorna's, my employees, and men from my past. I had just
realized that life's hard lesson had caught up with me, and I was
going to have to step up and take a leap of faith.

The first call had his cell phone
answering with a voice mail. Not unusual for a guy like him. I
didn't want to take it too personable, so I left a brief message
that I was sorry about the way things ended.

It didn't take me but two minutes to
decide to try again. This time I left a message that I had done
some serious thinking and would like to talk. Shortly after I hung
up, I decided that if he called, then I would do whatever it took
to convince him that I wanted him back. That I wanted an 'us' and
my career was due for a bit of readjusting, like actually letting
my employees do their job instead of controlling
everything.

Just as I felt like a light just lit
up my soul, my cell phone rang as I was staring at the cocktail
dress choices on my bed for tonight. I looked at the caller ID, and
a small amount of elation deflated as it was Zach and not
Trey.

"Hey Jennifer. Just wanted to touch
base. I wanted to let you know that Bill is out of the hospital and
recovering with a broken leg. He told me to tell you thanks for the
gift basket and connection to a producer in LA. I guess you left
him a stellar recommendation."

I smiled internally. I didn't have the
best Hollywood connections, but I had a few. Bill was a great
actor, and I felt I owed him some type of work. I cleared my throat
of the emotion I was feeling, more for Trey then Bill, yet it was
all there bundled up and ready to explode. "Hey. Tell Bill I miss
him but things could not have gone better in Japan."

I heard a pause on the other end of
the line before he spoke. When he did speak up, you could hear the
awkward tension in his voice. "Well. I guess. Uhm. What I need to
ask next is really just business, but I need to ask since we do
have a contract with you. Your schedule shows a client dinner
tonight, and I wasn't sure if I should find someone with such
notice."

I quickly stopped him from going any
further. "Zach. I kind of messed up. I think Trey and I had
something and well, I guess I just am not good at this relationship
thing. I won't be needing any more escorts. I don't expect a
refund. You fulfilled your end. I guess what I am saying is, I want
Trey and I to try to work something out. Do you think he would come
tonight? He's not answering my calls."

I held my breath waiting for Zach to
answer. Maybe it was stupid of me to assume Trey felt the way I did
or worse, to get Zach involved. Then his voice broke the silence
with a comment that made my heart drop and shatter.

"Jennifer. He's hurt. He really cared
for you. I haven't seen him in this deep with a chick since, hell,
his ex. I guess you two really connected and well, he's kind of in
a bad place now. He gave me his cell and took a long walk up the
pier earlier. Listen. If I can find him, I will try to convince him
to show up tonight. If not tonight, then maybe you can work in a
way to reach out to him. His daughter will be here in less than two
weeks, and I think it would be great if you two could get something
going by then. She's a great kid. You'd love her. She's head strong
and smart. She has a knack for business already by giving Trey and
I, a few ideas for the new surf business we are opening." He paused
as he said that last sentence almost dreamily. As if to say that
sure making money for providing dates to women has been great but
being in the surf again would be far better. I did an internal loud
laugh and finally decided to break his rambling conversation that
was starting up again.

"Hey Zach. Sorry to interrupt. I have
to start getting ready for this cocktail function. Listen. If Trey
gets back, please make sure he knows I left a few messages for him.
If he shows tonight, I won't let him leave without knowing my true
feelings. And Zach. I want to thank you, for everything, getting
Trey to come to Japan opened up a whole new world for me that I
didn't think could ever exist."

"Sure thing, Jennifer. Just remember,
if he doesn't show tonight, doesn't mean he doesn't want to get
together, just that he's hesitant. Give him a day or two and try
something to convince him otherwise. I'm sure you can think of a
few things because I have never seen him this way about another
woman."

We hung up with only a few more words
exchanged. I knew Zach was a great friend to Trey and likewise, the
other way around. However, I wasn't sure if Trey was going to get
my message in time to show tonight. I had to go. This local client
was an annoyance but on occasion, I knew I had to do these things.
Maybe after I get the Japan client settled into place, I will
promote Cynthia so that she could begin handling some of my
overseas clientele. Prez would have to deal with it, which I was
sure she would actually approve. Cynthia had been bugging me for a
promotion and overseas work as a break to her two kids and
ex-husband who were making her nuts. The raise and promotion would
allow her to get full time nannies and the break she was ready
for.

With thoughts of a change in my
career, which dress to wear, and a fantasy that Trey will take me
back, I got dressed and ready to go in between making notes on my
computer over how I was going to work a bit less and see Trey a lot
more. That is, if he takes me back after my disastrous
behavior.

Chapter
Thirteen

The cocktail party at the beach house
was humming with conversation that competed against the ocean
waves. Valet took my car to park as I started to walk inside. Then
the sight of Trey in a tux leaning against a wall by the front door
stopped me. He looked incredible. He was dressed in his black tux,
with his hair cut even shorter than Japan and a look to him that
read mysteriously sexy. He had a cut drink glass in one hand and
was looking at something on his phone in his other hand. I could
have stared at him all night. However, I guess that connection we
built in Japan caused him to look up at me with the most devilish
grin, grazing his eyes from the top of my updo down to my four-inch
stilettos. I wanted to grab him and steal him away from this night,
yet I had a job to do.

I walked slowly towards him in a black
slinky dress with a bit of apprehension. I watched him slip his
phone into his pocket, and then I watched him take a quick sip from
his drink and set it off on a table next to him. He walked towards
me in that confident sexy stride that he has and his smile told me
everything I needed to know at this very moment. He forgave me. My
heart filled with elation and my eyes wanted to cry, yet the feel
of his hand softly touching my face and pulling my head up for a
quick kiss stopped me from displaying all my emotions in public. If
anything, if gave me the strength to wrap my arms around him and
show a public display of affection that bordered on
erotic.

The sound of Prez's voice clearing
behind me stopped us from taking our passion to a point of no
return. I turned around and smiled triumphantly.

"Prez, this is my new boyfriend Trey.
Trey Masterson. Trey this is Prez, my boss and this is her
husband..." I didn't get to finish the introduction.

Prez's husband practically leaped past
his wife and put his hand out to shake Trey's. "Well shit." He
started out with. Not exactly professional, then I remembered, Prez
telling me that her husband was awful at these functions. "Mike
Brenner. Pleased to friggin meet you in person. You know I saw you
surf in Australia back in..." They were off talking about surfing,
and Mike's all holy then thou impressions of the great Trey
Masterson.

I looked at them talking, while Trey
gave me one of his smiles that told me that great things were
coming later, and I turned to Prez. She spoke up before I could
even say a word.

"Nice catch. Caught Intel about you
two after you got back from Japan and why you were such a bitch
this morning. I'll accept your apology later about my new cut after
you get me the name of your meal delivery guy and personal pilates
trainer you've been using but refusing to tell anyone. Must have
been a dozey of a fight you two had, but making up is half the fun
of it, right?"

I laughed at her demeanor. She knew me
all too well. It wasn't often that I lost it over something as
trivial as a man, but just seeing us together, she knew. Trey was
not just any other man.

Somehow, the four of us made it inside
and proceeded with our business mingling. Not but an hour later we
all ended up in a corner accessing the room. The client seemed
happy we showed, but our presence wasn't really expected to be
there too long. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Prez's
husband type something feverishly into his phone. Two seconds
later, Prez got a text and held her phone up in
excitement.

"Oh my!" She let out a fake
exasperation. "I guess our son is running a high fever. The sitter
wants us back now. I guess we had better go. You can wrap this up,
right dear?" She was talking to me while I wanted to hand her the
award for world's worst actress. I knew what was up. The two of
them were bailing out so they could go spend some alone time while
the kids were with the sitters. I actually, for the first time,
wanted to applaud Prez for her handling of a large business, a
husband as goofy as hers, and her two kids. She was frazzled at
times and made bad decisions, like giving Cynthia that promotion
two years ago. However, now that I was thinking from the opposite
side of the fence, I realized, she was going to be the one to give
me some of the best tips on how to make this all happen. Which
might actually make my transition at work a bit easier, knowing
that she just wanted for me all along, what she had. And from here,
it doesn't look all that bad.