Castles in the Sand (20 page)

“Our Father knows this baby, knows when it’s time for him to be born. He sees him right now and loves him more than even his mama or daddy can.”

Kenzie sure hoped so.

Comfort flowed from Zeke, and she wished she could bottle it up and take it home.

He glanced toward the beach house. “Looks like quite a group. How come you’re over here and not over there?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I guess because I don’t feel welcome over there.”

“Say what? I thought you said this shower was for you.”

“It’s a bunch of churchwomen. And Aidan’s mom. She’s cool. But see, Aidan and I aren’t married and my dad—” Her throat closed up.

“Hmm. He’s a preacher, right?”

She nodded.

“Mm-hmm. Probably got a reputation to uphold in front of his congregation. He thinks this puts him in a bad light.”

She nodded again.

“That happens, sister. That happens. And not just with preachers. All kinds of people let their false self rule their hearts. They just don’t know how to let out the true self, the forgiven one who’s freed up to love and be loved. Then they gotta blame someone else for reminding them how miserable they are.”

Kenzie swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“Your daddy just took his eyes off the cross. He’ll come round. He’s going to be a grandpa!” Zeke grinned, a white slash against his dark chocolate skin. “I got one question for you, little sister.”

She waited.

“You think all those women would come if they didn’t want to see you?”

The Martha Mavens would help out her mom in any way they could. But Emmylou looked ready to pop; she couldn’t be comfortable. The twins had traveled far and through rush hour traffic; old people avoided those things. Aunt Nattie probably should have been at a soccer practice; she always hated letting an assistant take charge. Beautiful Gwyn should have been out on a date. Pepper had come straight from work and literally had a hundred other things to do at home. And now there was Tess Harmon greeting Susan. Surely the director of women’s ministries had more important business.

Kenzie smiled at Zeke and shook her head. No, they wouldn’t come unless they wanted to see her.

On the patio outside the beach house, Susan accepted Tess Harmon’s hug. As usual, intimidation wormed its ugly self into her consciousness. She liked Tess very much, but she always had to fight down discomfort in her presence. Once more she wondered why.

Was it the title, director of women’s ministries? The master’s in theology? The knowledge of Greek? The impressive gift of teaching? The tall dancer’s stature? The unwavering confidence, whatever the situation?

Or Drake’s almost daily glowing reports of her incomparable attributes?

“Susan,” Tess murmured, “I love your hair.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, hon.” She straightened and grasped her hands, a gift bag hanging from her own, and looked directly into Susan’s eyes. Concern permeated the hushed voice and tone. “Natalie told me, of course. This is a baby shower, after all. You’re going to be a grandmother! Do I say congratulations?”

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
.

Tess spoke in her quick, confident way. “I’m not quite sure. You and Drake must be so stressed, bearing this burden all alone. It’s understandable why you haven’t shared the news with the congregation. The secular media would have a heyday.”

Susan couldn’t follow the leap and felt her forehead knot. “The media?”

Tess squeezed Susan’s hands and let them go. “Drake is quite an important public figure. Newshounds are always on the lookout for opportunities to cast aspersion on someone in his position.”

“We’re talking about a baby. It’s not like our daughter committed some felony.”

“Of course not. But just the hint of a skeleton in the family closet is fodder. We want to be careful.”

“I can’t be concerned with the media!”

“And you shouldn’t be. That’s not your job. I’ll worry about it, and Drake can worry about how and when to inform the congregation. I’m sure he already has a plan.”

“I’m informing. I told the Martha Mavens.”

“Well, we Marthas are different. We don’t need to be told how to handle things, how not to gossip.”

The frustrated sigh building in Susan’s chest flung itself outward, probably loud enough for passersby to hear.

Tess’ thin brows formed two inverted
v
’s on her forehead.

Susan turned aside to shut out the intimidating sight. Words swirled in her mind and threatened to spew forth incoherently. She struggled for control. “This isn’t news to be spun.”

“I know, hon. It’s about you and Drake carrying on in the face of adversity. You’ll get through it, and then everyone will see God’s faithfulness in your lives.”

No, it wasn’t about them carrying on as if nothing had happened and pointing to God afterward! She pressed her lips together. Tess didn’t get it. They were in the middle of a nightmare and needed help. The thought of admitting that to this woman made her feel as though she were standing on her head. Rushing blood squeezed her brain until the world tilted crazily and flipped upside down.

But…she had shed the straitjacket and known what it was to fly, to even sing again. Such sensations always came on the heels of saying out loud to another person that she, Susan Starr, was imperfect and needed help. That was the antidote. Even with cool, calm, collected, intimidating Tess.

She willed herself to meet those steady determined eyes. “First and foremost it’s about a baby. It’s about Kenzie needing my support. It’s about me needing your support. It’s about Drake needing your support.”

“Susan, I support you. That’s why I’m here. But I can’t function in the middle, in between you and Drake. You’ve told us that Kenzie’s pregnant.
He
hasn’t, and he’s my boss. How can I show support if he doesn’t realize I’m aware of the situation?”

“I left him a voice mail first thing this morning.” She thought it only fair to inform him; obviously she never got the chance at their dinner. “I told him about the shower and the Marthas coming. He realizes that you know.”

Some of the steely gaze faded from her eyes. “He didn’t say a word.”

“I think maybe…” Susan blew out a breath, “maybe he needs to hear directly from you that you know and that you haven’t disowned him.”

“Why isn’t it enough coming from you?”

Because she was only the wife. No master’s degree, no comprehension of Greek, no giftedness beyond helping a bride order cake. “It will mean more if he hears it from someone he respects on the church staff.”

Now Tess sighed. “All right.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She tried to smile and straightened her shoulders. “Okay. Are the others inside?”

“Yes. Go on in. I’ll wait outside for Kenzie a few more minutes.”

Tess walked to the doorway and then turned. “Susan.” The smile succeeded this time. “Congratulations, Grandma.”

She grinned. “Thank you.”

Susan watched Tess enter the house and put a hand to her mouth, holding back a giggle. Had she really just spoken her mind to Tess Harmon? Yes indeed, praise God from whom all blessings flowed!
Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
.

Now if only He’d bring Kenzie to her own baby shower. Natalie reported Kenzie had sounded agreeable to the idea on the phone. Pepper said she wanted to pick Kenzie up, but Kenzie insisted Pepper not go out of her way, and besides, Aidan offered his van. She’d drop him off for his performance and drive herself.

“Mom.”

Susan smiled and turned. There she was, unlatching the gate. “Kenzie! Hi.”
Thank You, God. Thank You
.

“Hi.”

As usual, she wore lots of black: short clunky combat-type boots, a long skirt, a denim jacket masculine in style and at least three sizes too large. A familiar worn knapsack hung across her shoulders. Through the unbuttoned jacket, Susan glimpsed a white T-shirt too short to reach the skirt’s waistband. It only partially covered her little round tummy.

She went to her daughter, arms open. Kenzie stepped into them, and they hugged for a long moment.

“Mom, your hair looks great!”

“You really like it? Emmylou cut it.”

“It’s got
attitude
. Way to go, Mom. I like the skirt too. Wow! And sandals?
Toenail
polish?”

“Your aunt’s influence. We shopped down the street.”

“No way.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “And look at you. You’re blossoming.”

“I’m getting fat.”

“Can I touch him?”

“Him?” Kenzie pulled aside the large jacket. “How about her?”

Susan laid a hand on the small bulge partially covered in cotton. “I guess a ‘her’ would be all right too. If she was like her mommy.”

Kenzie blinked.

“Wild and crazy and creative and delightful.” She removed her hand. “And if Aidan is anything like
his
mother, I think a ‘he’ would be a masculine version of all that?”

Kenzie nodded.

“I’m so glad you came, honey.”

“Well.” She cleared her throat. “Aunt Nattie promised no dorky games.”

Susan smiled. “Shall we go inside?”

Kenzie glanced around the patio. “Where’s Pugsy?”

“Gwyn has probably locked him in a back bedroom by now.”

“She’s not a dog person, is she?”

“If Pugsy sits on your lap and not hers, she’ll be okay.”

Kenzie hesitated. “I can’t stay late. I have to pick up Aidan when the band’s done.”

“That’s fine.”

Now she bit her lip, clearly unsure about going inside.

Please, Lord
.

“So how did your Marthas react to…to the baby news?”

Susan smiled gently. “No one was shocked and appalled. Not a hint of condemnation surfaced. There was sympathy because unplanned, out-of-wedlock pregnancies bring their own set of difficulties.”

Kenzie narrowed her eyes and defensiveness flashed in them. Her impish nose tilted further skyward.

A wave of panic washed over Susan. The feeling felt odd and yet familiar. Too familiar. It was like when Drake screened the jots and tittles. Did Kenzie screen as well? Did Susan choose her words according to what their impact on Kenzie might be?

She thought of her songfest last night under the stars. All shred of straitjacket and burial wrappings had vanished. Easter arrived early for her. Instead of Resurrection Sunday, she experienced a Resurrection Thursday. She wasn’t about to climb back into the tomb.

Even if Kenzie ran away from her.

“Honey, I’m just trying to be honest here. This situation has caused problems for everyone involved. For starters, your dad’s embarrassed, I’m angry with him and you, and you and Aidan have all kinds of adjustments to make. But,” she said, smiling, “there is an upside. I can now admit I’m not perfect and I don’t have to pretend that I am. Of course that brings its own set of adjustments. Your dad won’t speak to me. Well, we did try last night. It didn’t go well. I don’t think he knows what to do with me. I refuse to go home if you can’t go there. So I don’t know. Does that mean we’re separated? Pepper and I are getting hooked on ice cream in the afternoon. Not exactly a healthy practice. The gospel according Natalie is making more and more sense, which confounds me to no end. I’m singing, and that makes Pugsy howl—”

“Mom!”

She refocused her eyes and saw Kenzie grinning. “What?”

“You’re running off at the mouth.”

“Oh.”

She laughed. “It’s okay.”

“Yes, of course.” She ran her fingers through her hair, feigning nonchalance. “I know it is.”

Kenzie laughed harder.

“So, are you coming inside or not? We don’t have all night.”

Wiping at the corner of her eye, she nodded.

Thank You, God. Thank You
.

Susan smiled to herself and led the way.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
.

Pepper’s love for her semi-daughter-in-law pounced on her time and again, sneak attacks that caught her unaware.

Like now at the baby shower. There Kenzie sat by a front window, the last flash of the setting sun encircling her comical sprouts of stiffly gelled hair with a glow, looking for all the world like a little kid in a candy store as she tore wrapping paper from gifts. Who would have thought? She was not a material girl, but something in her responded to the love represented in the stroller, the car seat, the tiny pj’s, the silky blankets, and the bags of disposable diapers.

Pepper didn’t know if she was more surprised at Kenzie’s delight or at the love-gift givers. With the exception of maybe Natalie, the chatty churchwomen filling the room were the last ones Pepper would have guessed able to touch Kenzie in such a way.

Whoa! The tone of her judgmental voice spun Pepper off into a private little confessional time with the Lord right then and there in the middle of the party, sitting on the couch next to Mildred, one of the delightful white-haired twins.

The thing was that for Pepper, condemning Drake and Susan Starr and their entire hoity-toity evangelical, thousand-plus member congregation from a distance had felt…Well, it had felt downright fun in a twisted sort of way. It probably soothed her own ego. Only a bunch of hypocrites could turn their backs on Kenzie. Not so Pepper Carlucci.