Castle of the Heart (22 page)

“No, not money.” Gwenefer relented. “Lady
Selene, you have been kind to me. Despite the difference in our
rank, we are becoming friends, are we not? I would like to do
something for you. I dare not tell you where I obtain the medicine
I take, but I’ll give it to you myself, out of my own supply. And
I’ll tell no one you have it. You must promise to keep the secret,
too.”

“I promise. And I thank you with all my
heart. How will I ever repay you?”

“Perhaps some day,” Gwenefer said lightly,
“I’ll want to sit on the dais at Afoncaer, and I’ll be refused, but
you will say I’m your friend and invite me to sit by you. Or you
will help me in some other way. Don’t worry about it now, it’s not
important. What we must do is make it possible for you to lay with
your husband without fear, and thus keep him happy and devoted to
you.”

Selene knew she could trust Gwenefer. This
was a woman’s pact, something neither would ever reveal, for the
Church had strong teachings about it. Woman’s duty was to bear her
husband’s children, that he might have heirs. Selene had heard it
whispered that any woman who attempted to avoid that duty would die
young. If such a wife had already borne children they, too, would
die young, and without heirs, so that, for the wife’s sin, both
husband and children would suffer. Knowing this, she had never
dared approach Meredith for help. With all her herbal knowledge,
Meredith must know of such medications, but Selene thought she
could imagine what Meredith’s response would be to any request for
them, especially since Meredith felt deeply her own failure to give
Guy a son. Meredith would never be able to understand Selene’s
revulsion at the thought of enduring another pregnancy and
childbirth. How fortunate that Gwenefer could help her. No one else
need ever know what she was doing.

Gwenefer brought the medicine to Selene
later, in an earthenware vial stoppered with wood, and told her how
many drops to take each day.

“Remember your promise,” Gwenefer said.
“Speak to no one about this. ‘Tis you who’ll feel your husband’s
wrath if he discovers what you are doing. Though I’ve no doubt I’d
be punished, too, for helping you. This is a secret between
friends.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

That night, when Thomas came to their bed,
expecting nothing more than one or two reluctant kisses from
Selene, she turned to him with such warmth and tenderness that he
was astonished.

“Uncle Guy was right,” Thomas remarked
afterward. “He said we would resolve our differences if we were
alone at Tynant.”

“Hardly alone,” Selene murmured, reaching for
him again. “You spend most of your time with Geoffrey.”

“We have been busy, I’ll admit that,” he
whispered into her ear, pausing to nibble at the lobe. “But if you
promise to greet me this way every night, I’ll leave my work with
Geoffrey and come early to bed.”

For the next few weeks, Thomas was a happy
man. Selene welcomed him into her arms each night. She did her
share of household work, and had begun to act more as a nobleman’s
wife should. Perhaps, he thought, she had only needed time and
patience.

They stayed at Tynant from just after Twelfth
Night until mid-April, and by the time Thomas was ready to return
to Afoncaer the wooden palisade around the manor was being extended
and made higher, a new watchtower was being built, and there were
more well-trained men-at-arms to keep Geoffrey’s domain secure.
Everyone at the manor was interested in what was being done to
protect them from attack, especially Gwenefer, who encouraged both
Geoffrey and Thomas to talk freely about their work on the
defenses.

Selene and Gwenefer had become close friends
in those three months. Or at least Selene thought so, until the day
they walked through the meadow beside the stream for which Tynant
was named, strolling idly through the pleasant spring
afternoon.

“We are returning to Afoncaer the day after
tomorrow,” Selene said, not telling Gwenefer anything that
resourceful young woman did not already know. “Gwenefer, I will
need a goodly supply of our medicine to take with me.”

“What?” laughed Gwenefer. “Are you not ready
yet to give your dear husband the son he wants and needs?”

“No! I can’t do it. Not yet, that is. Not for
a while. Just a little longer, a few months, a year perhaps. Or two
years.”

“So long? That’s a great deal of medicine,
Lady Selene. How would you hide so many vials? If I could get them
for you, which I cannot.” Gwenefer, quite unconcerned, bent to pick
a tiny blue flower and stood sniffing its delicate fragrance.

“But you must. I need it. You promised.”

“I promised nothing, my lady,” Gwenefer said,
“but to keep the secret that you are taking it. I have done
so.”

“Oh, Gwenefer, please, as you are my friend,
I beg you, get me more of that liquid.”

“Well,” Gwenefer looked over Selene’s
shoulder, smiling into the dim, mysterious greenness of the Welsh
forest, “I might think of something to help you. It will take a
while.”

“I need more medicine before we leave Tynant.
I’ve just enough for tonight and tomorrow.”

“And after that, it’s a big belly for you,
isn’t it?”

“Gwenefer, don’t laugh at me. I’m
desperate.”

“Yes,” Gwenefer said, “I believe you
are.”

“Please, Gwenefer.”

“I never thought,” Gwenefer said, tossing the
blue flower away with careless grace, “that I’d hear a Norman lady
begging me for anything.”

Selene stopped walking and stood staring at
Gwenefer’s triumphant face, while understanding dawned on her.

“What do you want of me?” she asked.

“I believe I can provide you with one more
vial,” Gwenefer said. “I’ll give it to you tomorrow. Just one vial.
For friendship’s sake.”

“And after that is finished? How will I get
more when I am at Afoncaer?”

“Why, then someone will have to take it to
you. A cousin of mine. And you will have to pay for it.”

“Pay what?”

“Information. There is a lot my cousin would
like to know about Afoncaer.”

“I won’t do it.”

“Of course you will,” Gwenefer said
pleasantly. “If you don’t, I’ll tell Sir Thomas what you have been
doing with my help.”

“If you do, then Geoffrey will know you have
been doing the same thing.”

“Do you really think Geoffrey will care that
I’ve taken steps to avoid giving him bastard children?”

“How could you?” Selene cried. “I thought we
were friends.”

“There can be no friendship between Welsh and
Norman.”

“You tricked me!”

“You are easy to trick. You think only of
yourself. Now, I think we should walk back to the house, don’t you?
Your eager husband will be waiting for you. Tomorrow we will talk
again, and I’ll tell you where and how you are to meet my cousin
Cynan. There must be a suitable place near Afoncaer. You do ride
out frequently to hunt, or for pleasure, don’t you? It shouldn’t be
too hard.”

It was not until much later that night, when
she lay wide awake beside Thomas, that Selene realized Gwenefer had
put into her hands the opportunity Lady Isabel had said would come
to her. The Welsh wanted to use her, but perhaps she could use them
to accomplish the vengeance Isabel wanted. If she were very clever
about it, Thomas need never know. She met Gwenefer confidently the
next morning.

“I make a condition to my help, and it is
that whatever you are planning, I will not be harmed, nor my
daughter, nor Sir Thomas.”

“What reason could we have to harm you or
your child?” Gwenefer said easily. “As for your husband, well, he
is a fighting man, and if he takes up weapons against us, who’s to
say what will happen? He’d expect a fair fight, you know.”

“I suppose you’re right. But Deirdre and I,
do you promise that we will be safe?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll do what you want.”

“I knew you would,” Gwenefer said. But after
they had arranged the exchange of information for the secret
medicine Selene wanted so badly and Selene had left her, Gwenefer
smiled to herself. “Promises made to Normans mean nothing,” she
said.

Life at Afoncaer was considerably more
pleasant once the unpredictable Selene had gone to Tynant with
Thomas. Even Arianna, though still loyal to her friend and distant
kinswoman, rejoiced at the absence of quarrels over the smallest
concerns, tears, reproaches, and thrown dishes, and Selene’s
periodic refusals to let anyone else touch Deirdre.

Arianna had been put in charge of the
nursery. As she had helped to care for the younger sons of Lady
Aloise and Sir Valaire when they were babies, she had plenty of
experience. Meredith also assigned a former kitchen girl, Linnet,
to help with Deirdre, and this gave Arianna enough free time to
continue her reading and writing lessons with Reynaud, or to work
with Meredith in the stillroom.

Arianna was also able to ride with Cristin
frequently. She noticed that Benet the stableboy always appeared at
the right time and place so that he was the one who accompanied
them. She regarded the dark, intelligent lad with a combination of
amusement for his eagerness and pity for the look in his eyes
whenever Cristin was near. Arianna could sympathize with what Benet
must be feeling, caring for one who was unattainable to him. She
knew that pain herself.

And yet, she was fully aware that she was
happier than Selene would ever be. Selene had complained bitterly
about the roughness of life and the remoteness of Afoncaer,
situated as it was on the Welsh side of the border, and she had
managed to quarrel with nearly everyone in the castle at some time
or other. In contrast, Arianna had felt completely at home from the
very first day. She knew in some deep, inner part of herself that
Meredith had been right to insist she come here. She belonged in,
and to, Afoncaer.

So peaceful were the days that early spring,
so gentle the sun or the soft, misty-grey days of rain, that in
mid-April Arianna was almost sorry to hear that Thomas and Selene
would return in a few days.

“I hope Selene will let me continue to care
for Deirdre,” Arianna said to Reynaud.

Over the last few months he had been teaching
her to play chess. They sat at a small table before one of the
fireplaces in the great hall, the board between them. It had been a
rainy day, and Arianna knew Reynaud’s joints ached. She had
suggested the game, hoping it would distract him. He certainly
seemed to be concentrating. He made no comment on her remark, and
did not look up when Guy came to stand between them, looking down
at the carved ivory pieces. Arianna saw Guy’s fingers twitching and
laughed.

“I think you see the move I should make,” she
said.

“For a beginner,” Guy responded, “and a woman
besides, you are a fair player, Arianna. You have patience and the
ability to look beyond the present moment. I’ve known men who had
neither.”

“Perhaps I’ll challenge you to a game when
I’m more skilled,” she teased, and Guy laughed back at her. Then he
sobered, frowning.

“I heard what you said about Selene,” he told
her. “You will remain in charge of the nursery. That is Meredith’s
wish, and I stand behind her. Selene will not be allowed to disrupt
Meredith’s domestic arrangements. There will be no repetition of
this past winter’s rages, or the Lady Selene will find herself
confined to her bedchamber. I will have peace in my household.” He
moved on to speak to Sir Kenelm.

“Peace.” Reynaud’s pale blue eyes met
Arianna’s troubled gaze. “We shall see.”

“She doesn’t mean to be so difficult,”
Arianna said.

“Then why is she? Well, perhaps she has
changed. Yesterday I read a letter to Guy that Thomas had written.
He says Selene is quite happy, and that all is well between
them.”

Selene, when Arianna saw her again, did not
look happy. She was pale and quiet and withdrawn into herself. She
went to the nursery as soon as she had greeted Guy and Meredith.
Arianna had been waiting for her there, not trusting herself to
meet Thomas after so long without revealing to him or to others how
much she had missed him. When Selene appeared in the nursery,
Arianna gave Deirdre to her mother. The baby, not recognizing the
mother she had not seen for more than three months, began to
cry.

“Here.” Selene handed Deirdre back with a
sigh. “You take her. She will have to learn to know me all over
again, I suppose.”

“Are you well, Selene?” Arianna watched her
friend with sharp eyes, trying to think what could be the cause of
the change in her.

“Yes.” Selene headed for the door.

“Have you nothing to tell me?”

“What should I tell you?” Selene looked
almost frightened.

“I thought,” Arianna said while patting and
soothing Deirdre out of her tears, “I thought you might tell me we
need to begin sewing for a new baby. I thought you might be with
child again.”

There was a flare of something in Selene’s
eyes, a glimmer of the uncontrollable anger that had surfaced after
Deirdre’s birth. Arianna wondered for a moment if Selene would
throw something, but whatever it was, it died away, and Selene
stood serenely by the door, shaking her head, a half-smile curving
her lips.

“No,” she said firmly. “I am not with
child.”

Selene slipped back into the daily routine of
the castle, making no real change in the order of each day, and not
disputing Arianna’s control of the nursery. She did ride more
frequently than she had done before, either with hunting parties or
with Arianna, Cristin, and Benet. When she did, she almost always
wandered off by herself for a time, saying afterward that she had
gotten lost, or hadn’t been paying attention, or just that she had
wanted to be alone for a time.

“Be more careful, my love,” Thomas scolded
her gently. “Don’t go too far afield without an escort. There are
always a few untamed Welshmen who are not our villeins lurking
about the fringes of Uncle Guy’s lands. You must have better
protection when you ride out. I don’t want any harm to come to
you.”