Calming the Rush of Panic (2 page)

Fear is instinctual, an artifact of evolution that has been with us for ages. It’s an inescapable part of life.

Panic

Panic is like an allergic reaction to fear. Panic affects your body, emotions, and thoughts in extreme ways and can feel like a violent eruption. To help illustrate this point, if you walk too close to the edge of a cliff, your fear response may kick in, prompting you to jump back to a safe distance. With panic, however, when you see the edge of that cliff, your skin may tingle, you may feel hot and sweaty, or you may feel cold and shiver. Your heart rate and respiration rate may increase sharply, or your stomach may feel queasy or tight. Your jaw may clench, or your muscles may tie themselves in knots. You may feel as if you’re trapped, and your emotions and thoughts may run wild, telling you that you have to escape. Your mind can become filled with stories of terror, worry, anger, shame, inadequacy, or embarrassment or with fears that you’re going crazy or dying. You may grow hysterical and irrational. You may try to bargain, plead, or beg for these feelings to go away. Alternatively, your mind may go blank and you may freeze in your tracks. Whatever your reaction, you may later try to avoid cliffs (or similar situations) even more, for fear of experiencing these feelings again.

Anxiety

Anxiety is mostly associated with worrying about possible future threats. For example, perhaps you worry about getting too close to the edges of cliffs even when you’re not in the vicinity of a cliff. Anxious thoughts can be accompanied by physiological symptoms such as musculoskeletal tension, insomnia, loss of (or increase in) appetite, or nausea. Anxious feelings can at times lead to a panic attack, especially if you’re imagining a worst-case scenario like falling off a cliff.

We also want to acknowledge that their are many types of anxiety disorders, including social and generalized anxiety, post-traumatic stress, agoraphobia, and other phobias such as fear of spiders and fear of flying.

The Basis of Our Approach

This book will teach you perspectives and methods from
mindfulness-based stress reduction
(MBSR) for alleviating your panic. Mindfulness is the practice of living in the here and now, with nonjudgmental awareness and with your full attention on whatever you’re currently doing or experiencing. Developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in 1979, MBSR has been proven to help people with panic and anxiety disorders, as documented in medical journals. Research has shown that MBSR techniques have long-term benefits: in one study, even three years after learning how to do mindfulness meditation—in which you simply notice your sensations, feelings, and thoughts, without judging or getting caught up in them—many people still managed their panic and anxiety much better than before (Miller, Fletcher, and Kabat-Zinn 1993).

While it’s natural to feel fear when you face a situation that you’re not confident you can handle, panic may, ironically, keep you from responding as competently as you might. If you can use mindfulness to focus your attention and maintain your faculties, you can work through the feelings of fear so you don’t panic or, if you do panic, you can get through the situation more smoothly. When you view your experience of fear from a matter-of-fact and nonjudgmental perspective, you have the opportunity to respond more skillfully rather than from old reactive patterns that could lead to more angst and distress.

Overview of the Book

We first lay out a foundation of mindfulness that incorporates how important mindfulness attitudes can temper panic. We explain the meaning of “formal practice of mindfulness” and “informal practice of mindfulness.” We also talk about how to deal with (or “work with”) common challenges as you establish and carry out your own formal practice of mindfulness.

After that, in chapters 1 to 3 we look in turn at the body, emotions and feelings, and thoughts. Each of these chapters provides background, foundational (formal) practices, other (more informal) practices, and eight hands-on (“applied”) practices, to help you put concepts into action and cement your practice of mindfulness.

In the last chapter, we look at life beyond panic, pointing out that as you grow in mindfulness and loving-kindness you’ll begin to experience more of the interconnectedness of life and live with less panic.

In this book you’ll learn four mindfulness meditations that are part of the foundation of MBSR: mindful breathing, the body scan, sitting meditation, and loving-kindness meditation. You’ll also learn other ways to strengthen your practice of mindfulness, such as mindful inquiry and the “web of life” meditation, and the S.T.O.P., R.A.I.N., and “Pause, Observe/Experience, and Allow” practices, which you can use in any situation that might lead you to panic.

Last, in each chapter you will also read stories of people who learned how to work with and transform their panic. The people in these stories are composites of some actual people we have worked with.

Chapter 1: Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Body

This chapter focuses on the physical symptoms commonly associated with panic, whether you experience these symptoms when you give a speech, get stuck in an elevator, or do anything you are uncomfortable with. We introduce you to two essentials of MBSR—mindful breathing and the body scan—as well as the MBSR mindful practice of S.T.O.P. as a way you can deal with panicky body sensations in specific situations.

Chapter 2: Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Emotions and Feelings

In this chapter, we look at emotions and feelings commonly associated with panic, such as worry, embarrassment, shame, unworthiness, inadequacy, and feelings of impending doom or going crazy. We introduce you to mindful inquiry meditation and the mindful practice R.A.I.N. as ways to lessen your emotional suffering and to foster a deeper sense of ease and balance.

Chapter 3: Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Thoughts

In this chapter, we explore how thoughts fuel panic through rumination, anticipation of future panic attacks, “what if” thinking, and habitual thought patterns. We examine how fearful thoughts related to illness, aging, death, the unknown, being alone, being in crowds, being in enclosed spaces, or being away from home can foster ongoing panic, as can thoughts of people, animals, or situations that make you feel uncomfortable. There are countless ways that panic can manifest. You’ll learn sitting meditation—another fundamental constituent of MBSR—as a way to recognize that thoughts are just thoughts: your thoughts are not necessarily “true,” nor are they the totality of you. It may be liberating to realize that you are not your thoughts—that they are not a complete definition of who you are. You’ll also learn “Pause, Observe/Experience, and Allow” as a way to manage your panic.

Chapter 4: Life beyond Panic

This last chapter is an exploration of how to connect to the essence of life beyond the immediate physical and emotional experiences of panic. How can the experience of panic also be an opportunity for deeper awareness and discovery? You’ll learn loving-kindness meditation, as well as the “web of life” meditation, and deepen your experience of the interconnectedness of life through applied practices. You’ll learn how to transform your panic to bring you closer to what’s most important, such as family, love, happiness, abundance, and the simple things in life.

We want to affirm that you have immense resources for healing and well-being within you. There’s no need to look outside of yourself—everything you need to know is already inside. You simply need to access it. It begins right here, in this moment. This sentiment is captured beautifully in the
Tao Te Ching
by Lao-tzu (1944, 55):

There is no need to run outside

For better seeing,

Nor to peer from a window. Rather abide

At the center of your being;

For the more you leave it, the less you learn.

Search your heart and see

If he is wise who takes each turn:

The way to do is to be.

About Us, the Authors

Bob Stahl

My interest in panic is very personal. It began at the age of four when I first realized the truth of death, which none of us can escape. It was shocking to apprehend that I and everyone else was going to die and that it could happen at any moment. That first realization left me almost out of breath and stunned. If that wasn’t a powerful enough teaching, in the next few years I lost my brother, grandfather, and best friend. This left me in a state of desperation, grief, and at times panic over what I was going to do with this life and how I should live if it all ended with death. I spent a lot of time pondering the meaning of life.

I grew up in Boston, in the turbulent 1960s, when the times they were a-changing. Like many young people in my generation, I experimented with powerful mind-altering drugs, starting in high school. On one such occasion I was made fun of and humiliated by some of my so-called friends. I became panicked and frightened, so much that I lost touch with reality and felt as though I was going to either go mad or die. As a result of feeling out of control in this unsafe emotional environment, I experienced tremendous panic in my body, emotions, and thoughts. After that experience, I underwent panic attacks nearly every day for months and thought I was truly going to lose myself, go completely crazy, or die. That year of school my grades plummeted from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s.

Feeling lost, scared, and pretty hopeless, I turned to my parents and shared with them what was happening to me. With their support, I started seeing a wonderful psychiatrist who helped me find my way back to myself. I began to learn to slowly face my fears and panic by acknowledging the physical feelings along with my emotions and thoughts instead of running away from them. At first this felt counterintuitive, just like turning the steering wheel of a car in the direction of the skid when you begin to lose control on a snowy or icy road. But lo and behold, as I turned toward my fears and panic, they began to subside and I straightened out. In actuality, they not only dissipated, but in time, as I developed deeper insight and understanding into what was fueling them, I began to feel more and more freedom—more than I had ever imagined was possible.

Mindfulness has truly transformed my life, and I trust it will do the same for you. I believe that there’s no special starting point other than the intention to begin right now. No matter how panic-laced, hopeless, unworthy, or inadequate you may feel, there’s hope for you. The path of mindfulness and the heart is open to all—no matter who you are or what you’ve done. Let’s take this first step that is upon us right here and now.

Wendy Millstine

My first panic attack occurred soon after my thirteen-year marriage ended. The person I had come to believe was my life partner and soul companion was walking out the door, resolute in his decision to leave our marriage for someone else. Then the painful triggers began. For me, a trigger might come in the form of a thought, an emotion, or a physical sensation. The thought of bearing the label “divorcée” felt akin to being a widow. On these occasions, I found myself obsessing over these thoughts like a hamster in a wheel.
Why me? Why me? Why me?
… My feelings at this utter betrayal swung between anger and the darkest sadness that I had ever come to know. Frequently all it took was an e-mail from my ex-husband or an envelope addressed to both of us to make me feel as though I couldn’t breathe. My heart would start pounding painfully in my throat, then I would feel nauseated, and I’d be forced to leave work and race home for safety.

I tried many different healing paths for coping with my panic issues—exercising, eating healthy, enrolling in school, focusing on my art and writing projects, traveling—but nothing quite settled my panic attacks until I started practicing mindfulness meditation, considered by some to be the Buddha’s enlightened path to end suffering. Mindfulness is simply the conscious act of paying attention to whatever you’re experiencing, moment by moment, without judgment. I discovered that the power of being in the now—in this exact present moment, breath by breath—actually changed my relationship to my experience of panic. Over time, my practice of mindfulness became an opportunity to experience panic in a new way. In fact, when I turned toward and tuned in to my panic, I felt it dissipate.

My informal practice of mindfulness gives me time to sort through my reactions and time to moderate my response. My daily, formal practice of mindfulness helped me discover that if I firmly root myself in my core values—love, respect, compassion, gratitude, and helping others—I can come to know myself in deeper ways, ways outside my panic-identified self. Being mindful of my panicky thoughts, feelings, and sensations allows me a profound empathy and understanding for myself and others. And I feel less alone in my suffering.

Many of the mindful practices in this book are based on my direct experience and understanding of panic. I’ve personally used these practices daily and shared them with others. This book will teach you how this moment, right now, is a gift. The practice of being present with yourself can change how you relate and respond to your panic, which in turn will help you manage your panic. Following in the path of the Buddha, mindfulness meditations are a prescription for hope and courage for a life beyond panic. Allow us to be your gentle guides on this journey.

Foundation

M
indfulness, which comes to us from early Buddhist meditative disciplines, consists most importantly of bringing your awareness into the present moment. Mindfulness has been mainstreamed into various mindfulness-based interventions and research in medicine, science, psychology, education, and business. Mindfulness is present-moment nonjudgmental awareness; you can imagine mindfulness as similar to a meteorologist who reports the weather just as it is.