By the Creek (12 page)

David gasped and swallowed as he struggled to hold Benjamin through the incredible floaty afterglow. Breathing deeply, he felt Benjamin shake in his arms as Benjamin came apart.

“I love you too,” Benjamin gasped, squeezing David tight. They held each other without moving for a long time, neither of them talking, their hearts beating next to each other. The water flowed languidly.

Slowly, they broke apart. David pulled up his suit, while Benjamin did the same, and they both looked around the clearing. David had to remember that they needed to be careful. Benjamin’s family would never be as understanding or accepting as his mother had been.

David got out of the water and spread out a new beach blanket on the ground. His last one had disappeared in the storm, never to be seen again. He flopped down onto it, and Benjamin sat next to him.

“I keep wondering if what we’re doing is wrong,” Benjamin said. David was about to argue, but Benjamin shook his head to stop him. “I’ve been taught that a man being with another man is wrong. The Bible says so, and the minister says so. I know that no one in the community will accept me if they find out about us. But when I’m with you, I wonder if they’re wrong. But can all of them be wrong? I’ve thought about it a lot and I don’t know what the answer is.”

David thought for a few seconds. “I don’t know what to tell you,” David began tentatively, and then a story popped into his head. “I learned in school about a man named Galileo. A long time ago, he figured out that the world revolves around the sun. He also figured out that the world turns and that’s why we have day and night.” David settled on the blanket. “You see, everyone at that time thought the earth was the center of the universe, and that the sun, moon, and stars all circled it. But they don’t. Galileo wrote a book that explained what he thought, and they threw him in jail because somehow in their minds, they thought he was undermining the church.” David was really getting into the story, and he had Benjamin’s attention too. “They made him take back his ideas and they tried to stop him from talking about them.”

“What happened?”

“Well, Galileo’s ideas turned out to be right. The earth does revolve around the sun. It takes a year for that to happen.” Benjamin smiled and nodded. “So you see, it doesn’t matter sometimes what everyone else thinks, because everyone else could be wrong. Sometimes it’s what you believe in your heart that counts. See, I don’t think God really cares who we fall in love with as long as we’re true to each other and care for each other.” It had been years since David had been to Sunday school, but that was the one thing he’d taken away from it.

“But how do you know?” Benjamin asked.

“I don’t. It’s only what I think, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, because I know how you feel and I want you to be happy.” David stopped talking, giving Benjamin time to think about what he’d said, and then he continued. “I don’t want to stop being with you. I love you so very much. But I don’t want you to be unhappy, either.” The thought of Benjamin not wanting to see him anymore scared David to death, but he’d seen enough of his friends’ breakups over the years to know he couldn’t force someone to love him or want to be with him. It had to be their choice.

“I know I love you too, and I don’t know how love could be wrong. The preacher always says that at weddings.” Benjamin stopped, and David took his hands.

“I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“But that’s it. You make me happy. It’s being sneaky that makes me unhappy.”

“I know,” David said without letting go of Benjamin’s hands. “My mother and I talked today, and I told her about me.” Benjamin tensed, and David tightened his grip, not wanting to break their physical connection. “From what she said, I thought she already knew, but she didn’t. Anyway, she was cool about it.”

“She didn’t yell, or hate you?” Benjamin asked, and David shook his head.

“She was shocked, but she said she loved me,” David said as a smile crept across his lips.

Benjamin pulled his hands away and crossed his arms defensively over his chest. “Did you tell her about me?”

“No,” David whispered. “I would never do that.” David gathered Benjamin into his arms. “I never want to hurt you. Besides, it’s not my place to tell anyone.” Benjamin shivered in David’s arms, and he held him tight.

“I hate hiding things,” Benjamin said, his voice muffled against David’s skin. “But I love you. And the only way I can be with you is to hide it from my family and everyone except you.”

“I know,” David whispered. “I know.” He took a deep breath, then released it slowly. He wished deep in his heart that there was a way for them to be together and to remove the conflict that tore at his lover. “I’d take it away if I could.”

“I know,” Benjamin said, lifting his face, and David kissed him softly on the lips. When they broke their kiss, Benjamin stood up and walked to the edge of the trees to check the time of day, the way he always did. “I have to go.” Benjamin began getting dressed. The concerned expression on his face didn’t change.

“Are you going to be okay?” David asked. He got up and placed his arms around Benjamin’s waist, resting his chest against his still bare back.

“Yes. You’ve given me a lot to think about. But it still hurts, and I want it to stop hurting. But I don’t know how to make it stop except to not see you again, and that would hurt worse.” Benjamin stopped what he was doing and turned around.

“I know there are no easy answers. If there were, I’d give them to you.” David kissed Benjamin softly before stepping away. Benjamin finished dressing, and after a final kiss, walked along the path. David heard his footsteps, and after a minute or so, Benjamin appeared on the other side of the pool. He waved, and David waved back. Then Benjamin turned and walked down the path, disappearing from sight.

David had the urge to run after him. He wanted to feel Benjamin in his arms again and to somehow make everything better, but he couldn’t. He didn’t see a way to help Benjamin other than not seeing him again, but that thought tore David’s heart to shreds.

Chapter 11

“
A
RE
you ready for school to start?” Lynn asked as she and Carol sat around David’s kitchen table.

“No,” David answered honestly.

“But this is our senior year,” Carol said, as though everything should be perfect because they were going to be seniors.

“It’s been a rough few weeks,” David admitted. “You want a Coke?” David opened the refrigerator door and pulled out two Diet Cokes and a regular, handing each of the girls a diet. He knew what they drank.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been distracted lately,” Lynn said, popping open the can carefully so she wouldn’t break a nail. “What gives?” she asked, sipping from the can. “We can’t help if we don’t know.”

David sighed and gulped from his can without saying anything.

“We know there’s something wrong, okay? You’ve been quiet and acting all sleepy. You aren’t on drugs, are you?” Carol asked, and David rolled his eyes. “So if it’s not drugs, then what is it?” Carol pressed.

“I’d say he got dumped,” Lynn said before laughing. “Except he hasn’t been dating anyone.” Lynn’s laughter died and she stared at David. “You did get dumped, didn’t you?” David shook his head, but Lynn ignored it. “It’s okay. We know what it feels like.”

“I didn’t get dumped,” David said with exaggerated slowness before taking another drink from his can. “Let’s talk about something else.”

“Not until you tell us what’s wrong. We’re worried about you,” Lynn said, and Carol nodded in agreement. David knew neither of them would let this go. They were like bulldogs sometimes. They obviously thought they could help and were determined to ram that help down his throat whether he wanted it or not.

“You have to promise me you will not tell a soul.” David looked at Carol. “Or I’ll tell your mother what you’ve really been doing on Saturday nights with Jeremy.” David turned to Lynn. “And I know your father would really like to know about where his little girl has been spending her Wednesday evenings, and it hasn’t been at the church helping with midweek Bible school, like he thinks.” David alternated his gaze between the two of them.

“You don’t have to be mean,” Carol said.

“Then you need to keep your mouths shut. One word and Daddy gets an e-mail.” They both agreed, and David took a deep breath. “I’ve been going through a lot lately, and I can only tell you part of it in order to protect someone I care about a great deal. But….” David paused and tried to convince himself to go on. Telling his mother was one thing, but actually saying this to someone else was even harder. “I’m gay.”

Both girls sat still as statues without moving or saying a single thing. He’d figured he’d lose some friends when he came out. All the stuff he’d read online, blogs and stuff, had said that he might lose friends. He’d just hoped it wouldn’t be Lynn and Carol, but maybe that was too much to expect. Neither of the girls looked at him. They simply stared at each other with stunned, blank looks on their faces. Then Lynn stood up and faced him. Before David knew what was happening, she’d tugged him to his feet and was hugging him almost as tightly as his mother had.

“Sweetheart, I love ya,” Lynn whispered. David thought he might cry, and he hugged Lynn back, breathing deeply and slowly through his open mouth. “I know that wasn’t easy, but I’m so glad you said something.” Lynn released him and sat back down. Carol still hadn’t moved.

“You’re gay,” she finally said. “Why didn’t you say something?” She looked mortified. “I made a fool of myself, and you didn’t say anything.”

“What are you talking about?” Lynn asked, but Carol ignored it.

“Was all that crap about thinking of me like a sister just a bunch of cover-up garbage?” Carol asked in a raised voice.

“No, it wasn’t. It was the truth,” David answered as the elation from Lynn’s acceptance quickly died away. “That’s how I feel about both you and Lynn. You’re like the sisters I never had.”

“That doesn’t change that you let me make a fool of myself,” Carol reiterated.

“This isn’t about you,” Lynn told Carol. “And how could David have made you look like a fool?”

“Carol made a pass at me earlier this summer,” David said before turning to Carol. “But instead of me, you went out with Jeremy, and the two of you have been joined at the hip all summer. He really likes you and you like him.”

“You made a pass at David?” Lynn asked, and Carol nodded.

“I grabbed his leg once while he gave me a ride home,” Carol said.

“Did David tell other people?” Lynn asked, and Carol shook her head. “Then how did he make a fool out of you? If anything, you made a fool out of yourself. David has been hurting, and he just told us he’s gay. That’s a big deal, and you’re worried about some pass you made months ago? Get over yourself. He needs us to be there for him.”

Carol took David’s hand. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I think your being gay is really cool, and it’s pretty gutsy of you to tell us.”

“I don’t want this all over school.”

“We won’t say anything,” Lynn said, and Carol nodded. “Outing someone is seriously uncool. It’s your secret to tell or keep to yourself. But if you do decide to say something, let us know first. We’ll be there for you.”

“You guys are the best,” David said with a deep sigh.

“Why do I get the feeling that isn’t all there is to this?” Carol asked, and David flashed her a deadly look. There was more, but he’d promised Benjamin, and he wasn’t going to break that promise, so his lips were sealed.

“Let him have some secrets, Carol,” Lynn chided. “He knows he can talk to us if he needs to.” She drank from her soda.

“So are you taking anything interesting this year?” David asked Carol, and she went off about her classes and the litany of extracurricular activities she had planned. David had thought about trying to get involved with some of the clubs and things at school, but nothing had really caught his attention. Most of the clubs and activity groups had formed a long time ago, and everyone already knew everyone. David would always be the new kid in school, no matter what.

“Have either of you decided where you’re going to college?” Lynn asked, and Carol, of course, explained all about her plans to go to beauty school. David hadn’t made up his mind yet. There were a number of places he was interested in going, but he hadn’t narrowed it down yet. Lynn hadn’t, either. They talked about various schools and their advantages and disadvantages for a while.

Eventually Carol looked at her watch and stood up. “I need to go. Jeremy is picking me up and we’re going to the beach.”

“Do you need a ride home?” Lynn asked.

“No. I’ll call him and have him pick me up here.” She pulled out her phone, and a few minutes later, she was saying good-bye. Carol gave David a huge hug and then she scooted out the door.

“I love her to pieces, but sometimes she gives airheads a bad name,” Lynn said cattily, and David snickered. Carol was a great girl and he truly thought of her as a sister. Well, his blonde sister, anyway. “So what’s really going on?” Lynn asked. “I know something other than being gay has you upset.”