Butterfly Swords (25 page)

The wooden planks creaked behind her. She’d been too absorbed in her thoughts to hear Li Tao enter. ‘Ai Li.’

The mere sound of her name seemed like a command from him.

‘You and I are not familiar enough for you to address me so,’ she said, staring straight ahead.

‘Lady Shen,’ he amended easily. ‘You are quite disagreeable. Not what I would expect from the daughter of An Lu and Wen Yi.’

She hated the reminder of how well he knew her parents. ‘Break the engagement, then,’ she demanded.

‘Your temperament does not matter to me. It does not even matter that your virtue is no longer intact.’

She turned and found herself staring at his chest. He stood close, his hands by his sides.

Her gaze shot up to his face. ‘Marry a wooden puppet, then.’

‘I would if her name was Shen.’

She glared at him hatefully. ‘You are everything I thought you would be.’

He crossed his arms. This was how he must look before his army. An unyielding warlord, his face a mask.

‘Look down below.’

The way he said it put a chill in her heart. She looked back over the railing.

Soldiers dragged Ryam into the courtyard with chains clamped on to his wrists and ankles. It took three men to subdue him. They grabbed on to his arms and shoulders and forced him onto his knees. She gripped the ledge, her nails digging into the wood as her heart plummeted to her stomach.

Ryam struggled against his captors to look up. Frightful bruises marred his face.

‘I’ll kill you,’ he growled at Li Tao.

The men holding him staggered against the force of his weight as he thrashed and twisted. They finally managed to force him down, shoving his face against the ground.

‘You’ve been torturing him,’ she cried.

‘I am not a monster,’ Li Tao said in disgust. ‘He fights my men at every chance. They might be forced to kill him in defence.’

The quiet threat nearly broke her resolve. He was testing her bold declaration from the day before. He came forwards to stand beside her. The raw edge of his scar showed clearly in profile. She steeled herself against whatever threat he was about to make.

‘Marry me and I will release him.’

‘And the others?’

‘The others as well.’

She was beginning to see the sort of man he was. Emotionless and unpredictable.

‘You refused such an offer before,’ she said warily.

‘It is offensive to me to let your lover live.’ He stared at Ryam with contempt. ‘But I do want sons and I will not force my own wife. And I do not relish the thought of a knife in my heart from a woman who is quite capable with swords.’ His gaze returned to her. ‘Marry me willingly and I will let him go. I rarely compromise.’

‘You’ll kill him anyway.’

‘Only the weak need to lie,’ he replied and she knew he meant it. There was no reason for him to lie to her. He had the higher ground, all the advantage, all the power.

Ryam continued to fight even while forced to the ground with a knee pinned on his back. She withered inside to see him taken down. He would fight to the death. That was the one thing he knew how to do.

‘When your father comes, he will take my side in this,’ he said with cruel reason. ‘Do you think he will feel any sympathy for the man who defiled his precious daughter?’

Ailey pressed a hand to her stomach, trying to force out the ache and the hollowness that ate at her.

Li Tao circled for the kill. ‘You were alone when I found you. You were returning to the empire without him.’

It was true. She had laid herself bare and asked Ryam to go with her and he had refused. She had already lost him.

Her throat tightened unbearably. ‘I will marry you if you let him go.’

She couldn’t feel her fingers any more or her feet. The weight of her body left her. She would need to remain without feeling for the rest of her life to survive.

The men still held Ryam to the ground. Every time he tried to lift his head, they shoved him down. He bled from a cut in his mouth. This was the last she’d see of him, broken and bleeding.

Li Tao reached up and gripped the back of her neck. She fought the urge to shake him off.

‘Swear it to me, Ai Li,’ he said with razor softness. ‘If you swear it, then I know your word is good.’

She hated him. She hated herself for being unable to fight back.

‘I swear it.’

Slowly he released her. He rested his hands on the rail beside hers. The signet ring given to him by the August Emperor gleamed on his second finger.

‘Go down to him and tell him what is to happen.’

Li Tao’s warning followed her as she retreated from the balcony.

‘If I see him touch you, I won’t be able to restrain my temper. He will die, our agreement be damned.’

She went down alone. With each step she knew Li Tao would be watching from above.

The men let Ryam up when she stepped out into the courtyard. He straightened, the iron chains hanging from his wrists. Ailey’s heart cracked open when she saw how pale he looked. The hollows of his cheeks were sunken and mottled with bruises. Behind his ravaged face, his eyes shone bluer than ever.

Ryam looked her over, his face full of concern. ‘How are you? Are you hurt?’

He would think to ask about her when he looked so battered. She almost broke before him.

‘I am well.’

He started forwards and she recoiled from him. Confusion clouded his expression.

He was still so beautiful to her. She bit hard into her lip, but the tears came anyway.

‘You are going home and I am going to marry Li Tao.’

‘No.’ Ryam glanced up to the balcony. ‘That bastard is forcing you to do this.’

He pushed away the guards and surged towards her. The guards hauled him back and shoved a blade against his neck. At that moment she would have done anything, sworn anything to save him.

‘Stop,’ she begged. ‘Please stop.’

‘You don’t have to do this.’ Ryam strained against his captors, ignoring the sword at his throat. ‘My life isn’t worth anything.’

‘It is to me.’

The chains rattled. He would not stop fighting. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

‘It is your nature to seek death, but it isn’t the only way, Ryam.’ She closed her eyes to shut away the pain and anger on his face and willed herself to walk away.

She had to go before he got himself killed. It would happen some day. He would rush into some situation without thinking and it would be the end of him. But today she needed to know that she had sent him home safe.

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he shouted after her. ‘Ailey! Do you hear me? I’m not going anywhere.’

The chains scraped against the stone floor as they dragged him away.

R
yam flew at the door of his prison and pounded against it until the wood dented and his knuckles were scraped raw. Then, for good measure, he rammed the door with his shoulder. It shook, but held. What he wouldn’t give to go face to face with Li Tao with a sword in his hands. The bastard’s soldiers would get him, but not before he cut the man’s throat. But his hands lay empty. His sword had fallen from his grasp and lay forgotten on the gravel of the Gansu corridor.

His father’s sword. The sword that had kept him alive as they’d fought their way across the desert.

Ailey didn’t have to do this. She didn’t have to sacrifice for him, not after she had fought for so long. He was destined to die lying in the dust with a knife in his ribs anyway. A pointless death. He’d always known it. Ailey was the only one who had ever asked for him to be anything more.

He dropped his forehead against the door. He wasn’t going anywhere. The moment they released him, he’d come back. He would be inviting death, but the thought of death, of nothingness, didn’t bother him. Not when he had nothing left to lose.

He stared around the hut for something, anything to use as a weapon. There was nothing but damp earth and bare walls. He wouldn’t allow himself to think of odds. Rationality would only invite doubt and if he doubted himself for a second he’d lose.

The only way he was leaving without Ailey was when they carried his carcass out of there. Except getting himself killed was the one thing Ailey had begged him not to do.

Slowly he sank to the ground. It came to him then. Ailey had been wrong. He wasn’t a courageous swordsman in the least.

He had never been brave for a single moment. All the times he had rushed into battle, saving Adrian’s life, Ailey’s life—none of it. He could only be fearless with a sword in his hand because he had never cared whether he won or lost.

His father had wasted away needlessly for the woman he loved. Ryam claimed to never mourn his parents, but he had been doing the same, bit by bit. What Ailey thought of as courage was simply his own way of searching for that final drunken duel that would kill him. He had been chasing the falling blade his entire life.

Death couldn’t be the only way, Ailey had told him before turning away. She had carved his name into her beloved tree in a language he didn’t know. There had to be another way to sacrifice and another way to love. She knew how, and he didn’t.

He sank onto the wooden bench that had served as a bed in the cramped enclosure. He needed to conserve his strength instead of spending it in rage. It was time to fight a battle that mattered.

He wasn’t going anywhere. He had meant it when he told Ailey that. He meant it even more now.

Ailey didn’t recognise her own reflection as she sat before the mirror. Her face had been dusted with a sheen of powder and her lips painted cherry-red like the silk of the wedding dress. Red for good fortune, for fertility, for happiness.

‘Everything that you desire, young princess.’ Auntie murmured blessings as she smoothed back Ailey’s hair with careful fingers. ‘Everlasting joy.’

A shadow blocked the door as Auntie bent to slip a pair of pearl earrings into her ears.

‘You shouldn’t be here,’ Ailey said.

Li Tao remained at the entrance. By tradition a groom wouldn’t see his bride until they were alone in the wedding chamber. Husband and wife would look upon each other immediately before they became one. After all that had happened, those customs meant nothing to them.

‘Your lover is being released,’ he said coolly. ‘Do you wish to see evidence that he has left safely since I’m a man without honour?’

‘You gave your word. I believe you.’

But she would never trust him.

‘I was watching you with that barbarian.’ His mouth turned down with scorn.

‘Do not talk about him.’

She stiffened as he came close. Auntie continued tucking flowers into her hair, undaunted and invisible in the usual way of servants. Li Tao motioned the old woman aside and stood by the chair.

‘It occurred to me you might consider taking your own life to avoid this marriage.’

The sleeve of his robe brushed her shoulder, sending a shiver down her spine. How could she endure their wedding bed? Whenever he was near, Li Tao purposefully used his size to intimidate her and throw her off balance. He claimed to have no honour, but took no issue using honour to his advantage.

‘You have my promise,’ she said bitterly.

A low rumble came from outside, growing louder by the second in a pounding rhythm.

‘Your father is here.’

Both of them knew the sound of marching troops. Li Tao left to greet the Emperor. More than a month had passed since the day she had left home in her wedding procession. She was going to marry Li Tao as her parents expected. Outwardly nothing had changed, but she had travelled to the edge of the empire and back. She had fallen in love.

A crier announced the Emperor’s arrival. Taking a deep breath, she went outside to see him standing in the courtyard, his expression grim. The imperial dragon bared its talons on his armour. She went to him, all the while searching his face for a sign of disapproval and disgust.

‘Let us walk,’ was all he said.

Her father clasped his hands behind him as they strolled through Li Tao’s garden. She followed dutifully by his side while a train of attendants shuffled behind them.

‘How is Mother?’

‘Heartbroken.’ Quiet anger vibrated through every fibre of his body.

Swallowing, she bowed her head to acknowledge her part in her mother’s despair. To say anything, to make any excuse would have been disrespectful.

‘Your brother worries every day for your safety. Your grandmother blames herself for your foolishness.’

She nodded and nodded, feeling selfish and unworthy. When she had decided to return, she knew there would be consequences for her act of rebellion.

Father continued, ‘What is this I hear about a foreign swordsman named Ryam?’

Her stomach wound into a tight coil. ‘He saved my life. He’s a good man.’

‘Princess Miya speaks highly of him.’

He gestured and an attendant ran forwards with a letter. Her fingers closed around the thin rice paper. She didn’t open it. Miya was kind to intervene, but it made no difference any more.

‘He is gone. I will never see him again,’ she said in a small voice.

‘We are fortunate Li Tao is generous enough to accept you as his bride despite what you have done.’

‘Generous?’

Her biting tone earned her a sharp look.

‘Yes, he is a powerful ally,’ her father continued. ‘Li Tao is accomplished. He is a capable leader. He fought along with me as well as the August Emperor in battle.’ His voice rose. ‘He is able bodied, not too old. Wealthy. What more could a daughter hope for?’

‘I was trying to protect you,’ she blurted out.

He shook his head impatiently. ‘Your mother was so happy we had made such a good match.’

‘You don’t need to be angry any more. I’ve agreed to marry him.’

She stared down at her feet. The butterfly pattern of her slippers peeked out from the hem of her robe. Butterflies for love, red for happiness. She was clothed magnificently in one lie after another.

‘Your mother was very upset when you left. She thought she might have said something to you to make you run away.’

‘Mother?’ She looked away. ‘It was not Mother.’

Her father nodded. He was satisfied with her answer, but she wasn’t. She stopped, no longer able to walk dutifully beside him.

‘It was not Mother,’ she echoed, her voice rising. ‘It was you.’

He raised his eyebrows. She fortified herself for what she needed to say. What good were all her acts of protest if she couldn’t speak now?

‘Father is asking our family to go against all that it has lived by.’ She fell into formal address in her anger. ‘He is asking us to go against honour.’

‘Are you saying that you do not wish to marry Li Tao?’ he asked quietly.

She shook her head, feeling the desperation. He still didn’t understand.

‘You were planning to take Miya as your Empress,’ she said.

‘There were reasons.’

‘There can be no reason.’

The words caught in her throat. Her father had been a giant to her all her life, larger and stronger than anyone. But for once, he was just a man, as fallible as any other.

‘Mother is a good woman. She has given you five sons. How can you listen to advisers and take that away?’ she demanded with more boldness than she had ever dared. ‘You cannot buy respect. You cannot negotiate for it.’

He raised his hand to stop her and she feared she had gone too far.

‘And one daughter,’ he added.

She looked at him, puzzled.

His hand tightened on her shoulder. ‘Five sons and one daughter.’

A gong signalled the tenth hour. The wedding was to begin soon.

‘Do you want to marry Governor Li?’

Ailey stared up at her father. The creases deepened at the corner of his eyes as he waited for her answer. He’d never asked her about what she wanted.

Did it really matter what she wanted? Ryam hadn’t wanted her enough when it mattered and she had sworn to marry Li Tao willingly. Fourth Brother’s spirit no longer called to her. It was her own heart calling now, buried deep as she swallowed her sorrow.

Duty before all else.

The gong sounded again. Auntie hovered nervously, afraid to interrupt the Emperor.

‘I have been sworn to Li Tao by my father, my mother and by my own word.’ She fought to keep her voice steady. ‘The Shen family honours its promises.’