Butterfly Swords (12 page)

She wrapped her arms around him, barely able to circle the broadness of his shoulders. A soft, aching sound rose from her throat as his fingers dug into the nape of her neck, tilting her to him, fitting their mouths together even more intimately. She clung to him, guided by nothing but the desperate beating of her heart and a sharp, sweet yearning deep within her.

His hands moved restlessly to grasp her hips, but then he tore himself away from her so abruptly she made a startled sound.

He gritted his teeth and turned away, his hands clenched into fists. His pulse skipped along his neck as he gulped in breath after ragged breath.

‘You can’t kiss me like that,’ he growled. ‘You can’t look at me like that.’

Ailey was staring at him. Her fingers lifted to press against lips swollen with want and sensation.

Naked desire. He could see it in her eyes, smell it on her skin. She was flushed with it, overflowing. God, the silken taste of her. She didn’t know how to hide her feelings and they clawed at him until the ache between his legs reached an acute peak.

‘What do you want from me?’ he demanded.

One moment she made him swear not to touch her and the next she was kissing him into madness. If she made a single move towards him, made a single sweet sound he’d take hold of her, lower her to the ground and make her his right now with the fierce throb of combat and their wild escape still in his veins.

Some part of her must have known it. That was why she stayed petrified, her only movement the rise and fall of her breasts as she struggled to breathe.

‘Tell me what it is you want from me and it’s yours,’ he promised dangerously.

It was an unfair demand, almost cruel. She had no way to answer him, no experience to empower her. Not that his own experience gave him any more control. He wanted her so much his body strained towards her, hard, ready.

He straightened. His knees dug into the ground. She had driven him to the brink, stripped him bare. He wanted her not even for the pleasure of it, but for the raw and simple need of possessing her for the moment. For ever, if he could.

‘So what is it to be?’

Her lips parted, flushed and full, unable to form words. ‘I just want to get home,’ she whispered after an interminable silence.

She looked into his eyes as she spoke. Her chin tilted to expose her neck, so vulnerable while she tried to appear so strong.

He swallowed slowly, nodding, each movement measured. ‘I’ll take you home, but you need to remember…’ He moved close, as close as he dared. His voice lowered to a low rumble. ‘Every man has his limits.’

He rocked back on his heels to settle on the ground. Across from him, Ailey sank against the ravine and pulled her injured ankle close, hugging her leg to her as she watched him with wide eyes. Even through her confusion, she still wasn’t afraid of him. Was she so open with everyone, so quick to trust?

With a scowl, he laid his sword across his knees. Without any barriers between them, it was too easy to forget. That was why he’d tried to leave. Every time she was next to him, fearless and open-hearted and beautiful, he was reminded how much of a scoundrel he was. He was careless by nature, careless and unthinking. He couldn’t allow himself to be careless with Ailey.

R
yam was sitting in the same position when she woke in the morning, sword across his knees, eyes open.

‘Did you sleep at all?’

He shook his head and looked over his shoulder towards the edge of the ravine. The dark hollows beneath his eyes tore at her heart.

‘Can you walk?’ he asked.

She rotated her ankle, testing it. ‘I think so.’

‘We should keep moving.’

He helped her up and offered his arm for support. She refused. He offered to carry her and she most certainly refused. After several steps, she risked setting her weight onto her foot. The swelling had gone down and she could hobble along steadily.

They walked that way for hours, losing track of time in the shade. They would not, under any circumstances, say a thing about what had happened yesterday.

The longing for any small contact consumed her and she couldn’t even look at him.

There was no sign of the soldiers, but she couldn’t believe Li Tao would give up so easily. They could be anywhere. Every flicker of movement in the green had her jumping.

If Li Tao found them, he would have Ryam executed. He could be rid of her as well. With circumstances as they were, he was within his rights. The moment she left her house in the wedding procession, she belonged to the warlord.

Ryam stared at the drag of her feet with exaggerated interest. ‘If they find us, I’ll hold them off while you run,’ he taunted.

She rolled her eyes. ‘Clever.’

He moved in casual strides alongside her, as if they were on a morning stroll through a garden. But she caught the way his hand drifted near the hilt of his sword. A true warrior could not tense up before a battle. Relaxed muscles moved quicker.

‘Do you know any one-legged fighting styles?’

So much like her brothers, ever protective.

‘I know what you’re doing,’ she said. ‘But if they find us, you have to run.’

He didn’t even dignify her suggestion with a response.

‘Li Tao is not a forgiving man,’ she insisted.

Ryam shrugged. ‘And I am not an apologetic one.’

His worn, haggard appearance made him appear more dangerous. Unpredictable.

‘According to Lady Ling, your intended is a powerful man. A man who can challenge the Emperor.’

‘He’s a traitor, worth no more than a dog.’

‘What if he forces his claim? Your father won’t be able to rescind his promise. Wouldn’t that be some matter of honour?’

Her heart sank. Could Li Tao use his influence to bend the will of an Emperor?

Distracted, her foot slid against a rock. Immediately, Ryam was at her elbow to steady her and their eyes met. She should have spent the night in his arms, lying with him beneath the sky. It was her only chance to be with him, her one taste of freedom.

Ryam moved away first. ‘We need to find the road,’ he said, his expression hooded.

‘We should be in imperial territory soon,’ she said. ‘We’ll be safe once we reach the plain.’

She would be safe, but he would be in just as much danger. Ryam was risking his life to stay with her. It was easy to forget when he appeared so fearless all the time.

‘When we reach Changan, you should go and see my father,’ she insisted.

Ryam swiped a clump of vines aside with his blade. ‘Your father will have my stones cut off.’

She blushed at his crude remark. ‘I will speak to him on your behalf. He can resolve the misunderstanding over the smuggled weapons.’

Father had fought alongside the lost legion during the palace insurrection a year earlier. He would recognise Ryam as the honourable swordsman he was. She wanted to believe it so much, it hurt inside. She considered telling him who her father was, who she was.

‘I only wish to repay my debt to you,’ she said instead.

‘Maybe I like having you in my debt.’ He smiled at her, sending a tiny quiver to her stomach. ‘It means we’ll meet again.’

‘Do you believe that? About debt and meeting again?’ It was such a Han way of thinking.

‘I don’t.’ He stopped and scanned the area before deciding to change direction. ‘Some things are simply left undone.’

Undone? His words left her with a sudden loneliness. If they evaded Li Tao’s men and escaped the forest, Changan would be within reach. She would return to her family. A week earlier she couldn’t think of doing anything else, but now she was torn. Ryam had become so much more to her than the stranger she’d met at a dusty tavern.

If things could be different. If not for duty and responsibility. But without honour, she wouldn’t be Shen Ai Li. She’d be nothing more than smoke and air.

They did find the road. A well-travelled one, judging from the stamp of footprints and the grooves cut deep from numerous wagon wheels. An hour passed before a wagon rolled into view, headed north. Ailey waved it down and hurried to speak to the driver while he held back. Once again, Ryam was forced into hiding.

To his surprise, she beckoned him over several minutes later.

‘They will take us to the city,’ she said.

The wagon master and his assistant looked him over sceptically. Before they could mount a protest, she spoke to them again, her tone sharp. The old man made a grunting noise and ushered them to the back with a wave of his gnarled hand.

‘Did you use that tea-merchant story again?’ he asked.

She made a face at him. ‘I told him we’d help protect the wagon. Come.’

He circled his hands around her waist to lift her onto the wagon and then climbed up beside her. They pushed aside the sacks to make room as the wagon rumbled forwards. Raw wool, judging from the musky smell. At least it was going to be a cushioned ride.

‘What exactly did you say to them?’ He couldn’t believe a couple of merchants would welcome strangers so easily, especially in these times.

‘I have my ways,’ she said with a mysterious tilt of her chin.

He frowned at her. In their travels everyone they met was exceedingly helpful until they tried to seize her and drag her away.

‘We’re safe now. Li Tao has no authority here.’

The wagon rolled steadily onwards as they made themselves comfortable among the sacks of wool. Ailey lay back, pulling an overstuffed sack beneath her head as a pillow. He sank down beside her. For the first time that day, he gave in to the exhaustion weighing down his limbs. He’d gone nearly two days without rest.

The trees thinned out and the ground flattened as they continued. He allowed his eyes to close. The shipment of wool was the most comfortable bed under heaven. Occasionally, the wagon jolted and he would wake briefly before falling back asleep. He thought he felt cool fingers brushing over his forehead, smoothing back his hair.

Ailey shifted beside him some time later and he finally opened his eyes. She was lying on her side, facing him. Twilight had descended upon them, casting her face in shadow. The wagon was still rolling along. Another day gone and Ailey was still safe. His oath not to touch her was still intact.

‘Not much longer now,’ she said softly.

‘How is your family going to react when they learn you’ve run away?’

‘Father will believe me. I have never lied to him.’

He detected the faint uncertainty in her tone. ‘I’ve heard stories about what happens to daughters who defy their families.’

‘Father is not like that.’

‘As long as he never sees you with me.’

She fell silent. Women could be beaten for disobedience. An act that brought shame to her family could be punished by disowning or by death. He had witnessed hints of this honour culture reaching far out into the frontier.

What if it wasn’t as simple as returning her home? ‘If your family won’t accept you—’

‘They will.’

He eased off at the note of desperation in her voice. Perhaps he was only looking for excuses to keep from leaving. As much trouble as they’d encountered, she had a way of filling the days, making them seem like more than random moments strung together.

‘Some say my father’s sense of mercy is his weakness,’ she said. ‘As if ruthlessness was the only way to command respect.’

He studied her while she spoke, tracing the curve of her lips with his eyes. ‘No matter how merciful he is, you never saw me. We never met.’

A look of pain crossed her face. ‘I know.’

‘This is for your own safety.’

‘I know.’ She sighed, and squeezed her eyes shut. ‘Do you know that not two generations ago, my family was also considered of low class? Grandmother lived in a little town no one has ever heard of. My grandfather was a wandering swordsman, much like you, with barbarian blood.’

Anyone could see the world of difference between them, but Ailey would never admit it. She was endlessly kind.

‘The merchant says we will arrive in two days,’ she said.

‘And you’ll be safely home.’

She picked up her braid and toyed with the end of it, looking into the distance. ‘I have never been away for so long. My family will be worried.’

‘Why do you look sad, then?’

She shook her head slowly, then looked up at him with those captivating eyes, muted jade with flecks of copper. He knew exactly why she seemed so sullen. He let it feed his male ego for the moment, but he couldn’t delude himself into believing this was anything more than infatuation.

‘I wish that you were not going—’ She stopped herself, chewing her lip fretfully. What he wouldn’t give to press his mouth over hers.

‘I wish that I wasn’t leaving you alone after this,’ she amended.

‘I’m used to being on my own.’

He couldn’t imagine how it would be in a couple of days when he couldn’t look for her the moment he awoke.

‘If you won’t speak to Father, you should at least visit our home in Longyou,’ she said wistfully.

The tail of her braid fell over her shoulder, the tip of it resting where the swell of her breasts would be if she didn’t insist on keeping them wrapped. A shame to keep such beauty hidden.

God’s nose. He had been able to keep thoughts of Ailey away for only five minutes.

‘Where did you say you were from?’ he asked.

‘Our home was outside of Longyou, west of the Liupan Mountains.’

A prickly, nagging sensation hovered at the back of his mind. Those names sounded familiar.

‘Longyou is near the western frontier.’

She seemed pleased he knew of it. ‘My father was assigned the defence command at the border. Fifth Brother took over that post when the family moved to the capital.’

‘By God, we were practically neighbours.’

It wasn’t entirely true. A sizeable stretch of land separated the border defences and the mountain corridor of Gansu. But it explained her openness towards him. The people of the western regions were exposed to foreigners through trade.

‘You must pass through on your way back to Yumen Guan,’ she said, her face bright. ‘Fifth Brother would be hospitable to you. He enjoys news of the inner empire. He had wanted so much to go with us to court, but duty demanded that he stay.’

‘Your family must be quite influential in the court, then.’

She glanced away. It mattered little whether Ailey’s father was a lowly soldier or the highest of generals. The gap between them was wider than the great desert.

‘Our old home is beautiful,’ she went on. ‘Surrounded by the mountains. Enough open land to ride out for hours. I can write a letter to Fifth Brother.’

‘Perhaps. I’ve stayed away for too long as it is,’ he said, already knowing he was going to disappoint her on this. He didn’t want any reminders of her once they went their separate ways.

Stretching out his hand, he took a strand of her hair and ran it through his fingers, stroking gently. He’d seen her hair unbound once. It had taken his breath away, dark and rich as it draped over her shoulders, framing her face.

‘What was your life like before you came to the empire?’ she asked. She turned onto her side so they were facing each other. ‘I still don’t know.’

He laughed at her persistence. ‘Same thing I’ve always done. I wandered the countryside and tried to stay alive.’

A little wrinkle creased the bridge of her nose. ‘You are being difficult,’ she complained. ‘You never told me what your father did. He must have been a master, like you.’

Ryam shook his head in denial. He was no master. Just a man lucky enough to have stayed alive. ‘My father was a swordsman. He trained soldiers, helped men build armies.’ When he wasn’t drunk. When he wasn’t picking fights and he still remembered who he was. ‘When he died he left me this sword, the only thing he owned.’

He preferred not to think of the past since it was done and gone, but he felt the urge to indulge Ailey’s curiosity for however long he still had her.

‘I would fight in duels and wagers to earn coin and ale. I went wherever people didn’t chase me away. I hired out my sword when I could. Then I met up with a man rumoured to be the bastard son of the king.’

‘The man who married the Pretender.’

‘You have to stop saying that. I am going to slip one day and address Princess Miya like that and she’ll have me flogged.’

She smiled. ‘You’re afraid of her. Afraid of a woman.’

‘Women are the only thing I fear.’

His answer amused her. Her hips wriggled as she settled in more comfortably, destroying his concentration.

‘What happened when you met the prince?’

‘Adrian. I was drinking, I don’t remember why. And I challenged him to a fight, I don’t remember why either.’

‘And you defeated him.’

‘Of course not. He somehow talked me into hand-to-hand combat.’ He held out his hands in front of him. ‘He wrestled me to the ground and beat me to a pulp. In my head, I put up a fierce battle, but I don’t remember.’

Her lips parted in surprise. ‘Someone bested you?’

He didn’t like that look of admiration on her face when it was for another man. ‘Adrian wasn’t drinking and I didn’t have my sword,’ he protested.

She rolled onto her back, sinking into the wool as she laughed. There was no denying it, there was going to be a hole in his chest when she was gone. Had anything changed when he’d joined up with Adrian? He had others fighting alongside him for the first time in his life. They were a brotherhood bent on keeping each other alive. But nothing had chased away the sense of isolation until he’d found Ailey. Nothing had ever made him feel a sense of regret for what he didn’t have.