Burn (29 page)

“I wanted to talk about your diary.” My whisper comes out in a series of hisses.

“You didn’t finish it,” she says knowingly.

“I know you loved Gage.”

“Old news.” She shrugs into the dark. “Does he love you?” The question floats up in the air and circles my head like a wreath. There’s a long pause. “I thought so. I guess the million dollar question is, do you love him back?” There’s a hard glint in her eyes.

 
I can see Chloe a little clearer now that I’ve read her diary. She’s not the kind of person I thought she was, not even close.

“He gave me Nevermore.”

“How clever of you to avoid the
question by letting me know
you stole someone else from underneath me.”

“You’re not with us anymore.” There’s just not one nice way to say you’re dead.
 

“I will be.”

I cast a glance into the forest. I wonder if I should tell Chloe that I’m too weak to give anymore blood—that I’m afraid I won’t be able to bring Ellis and me home tonight.

“You said,
Lexy
Bakova
knew how to bind a Fem,” I say.

“So that’s what you want?” Chloe creates a steady stream of fog with her sigh. “I promise, you will never be able to bind a Fem,
Skyla
.”

“If it’s possible, then I will.”

“She won’t tell. She’ll take it to the grave.” She progresses deeper into the dark, crushing the brush beneath her feet.

“What do the
Kragger’s
have on you? Why are you letting them do the things they’re doing to you? Did you kill someone?”

She turns and breathes a steady fog of frustration from her lips.

“Turn the page,
Skyla
.”

“And what did you mean that this was going to change everything?” If she only answered one question, I’d like for it to be this one.

Chloe reaches up and caresses the side of my face with her hand. Her warm fingers tug down slowly against my cheek as if she were trying to pull my skin off.

“I know that you’ll piece it all together. You’re a smart girl and I’m sure you’ll figure things out. You love me right now and that’s all that matters,” she whispers. “Sometimes you have to take the affection others are willing to give you at that precise moment, before they learn the truth about you and revoke it.”
 

My name echoes in the distance. It’s Ellis.

“I don’t know if I’ll get back,” I say mostly to myself. “I’ve lost too much blood.”

She pulls her dress up and produces a small pocketknife from a pink frilly garter around her thigh. The blade catches a glint of moonlight before she slits her left arm right up the middle. Without warning, she reopens the slit on my wrist—it peels back effortlessly as though it were thinking of reopening anyway. She rubs our arms together hard, creating an uncomfortable friction. It feels unnaturally intimate, obtrusive, horribly invading. A warm rush pushes through me. Something supernatural is happening, I can feel it.

I hear a hiss just beyond the rim of the forest.

“Run, Chloe,” I shout as I head out towards Ellis. “
Run!
” I scream.

I don’t hear her footsteps behind me.

 
***

Alone in my bed on Paragon, I’m relieved to hear the rain batter down on my wood-covered window as I shrink beneath the sheets. My arm is covered in dried blood, but miraculously I feel better, stronger—infused. I remember that cut from Chloe’s arm, the one I wear now as my own. I run my finger over the scar that never healed. It was for me, this one.

I flip the light on and pull out Chloe’s diary.
Turn the page,
she says. So many damn pages to turn and a part of me just wants to go to sleep.

September 7
^th
,

School starts tomorrow.
Bleh
. Went to the bonfire and made out with Logan like the world was going to end tomorrow. I saw Gage shoot daggers at us from across the way. I hope it burned for him to see me with someone else. I know on some level he must care. There was something in his eyes, although with my luck, it was probably smoke.

Pierce texted me.
Today was Emerson’s birthday, would have been anyway. Wish I never knew her—any of them.

OK, so who’s Emerson?

September 9
^th
,

Ellis freaked out. It wouldn’t have been all that bad if he didn’t choose to unleash his tirade in the quad, in front of Gage and Logan. He totally made me look like a royal bitch when he accused me of cheating. Can you believe it? I don’t cheat. I was never with Ellis. You have to be with somebody to cheat.

He pulled me back by the elbow when I tried to flee the scene, told me it was killing him to see me running around with other guys, like there’s some long list of people I’ve been with or something. I think he’s got like this competition thing with Logan. Well, anyway, he lost. But really, he didn’t, I was never his to begin with.

September 12,

I met up with Gage at the mall of all places. He was at the bookstore reading a magazine and I saw that gorgeous onyx hair that puts the color of
Nevermore’s
feathers to shame. So, of course I stopped in and asked how
Nev
was doing. We ordered coffee and went out to sit by the fountain out back.

I can hardly breathe. I’ve been bawling ever since I left. I don’t know what happened, but I completely lost it and tried to make him admit to a bunch of stupid shit. I practically begged him to tell me that he wanted me, that he was jealous of the fact I was with Logan of all people, who’s like his freaking brother, but he was relentless.

He said he had a vision of the invisible girl—
that
he was going to marry her. He thinks he cares about her and that he isn’t really interested in anybody else right now. Right now, as in me I suppose. How could I be so stupid to fall for the one guy on the planet
who
wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole?

So I asked if he ever had any visions about me, and holy shit was I ever sorry! Get this; I DIE. SOON.

Gage said I was like a caterpillar going into a cocoon. Great. I hope I come back as a zombie butterfly and eat his brain for breakfast.
    

September 17
^th
,

Mad rush to find another pure me.
Handed everything I had, over to Holden, and what I didn’t want to give, he took—couldn’t resist anyway
.
I’ll always have Emerson to thank for that.

September 18
^th
,

Gage came over. He said he had this vision of my attic room. We sat cutting out butterflies all night long and pinned them to the wall. He says I shouldn’t be afraid, that I would be back, stronger, better.

I cried and told him I loved him. I’m such a loser.

So that’s how the butterfly room came to be. It was Gage’s idea. He made the vision happen.

September 19
^th
,

Finished the butterflies tonight with Gage. He made them flutter and come to life for me. He feels horrible about letting me in on my impending doom—AS HE SHOULD! But, I think I’ve found a unique way to punish him. He will never see it coming.

Thanx
to the crazy
Kraggers
I’ve got a plan in motion, one that involves time and space, a death or two, and of course, the ‘butterfly’ room.

September 20
^th
,

Ellis came crawling into my bedroom to ‘talk’.
 
It’s official, I guess. I have a stalker. He just barged in and sat on my bed like it was no big deal. Said he wanted to hang out a while, see if we’d go on a light drive. I took him to L.A. Couldn’t find
Demetri
. What a freaking waste of time.

What the heck was Chloe doing in L.A.? And who’s
Demetri
?

September22nd,

Guess who paid me a visit? The sacred queen
herself
. Clocked her a good one. If you’re reading this BOO!

Oh yeah, guess who got to pick out the color of Gage and Logan’s trucks? That would be me. Too bad I can’t pick out
who
I’ll spend the rest of my short-lived life with. Maybe, I’ll spear both their hearts the second time around.

It was me she punched in the face—clocked me. That was the night of my first visit. I’m the sacred queen. Huh.

September 29
^th
,

Major air gap, since the last entry, I know. SO much has happened. I’m losing control of everything.

Sometimes I wonder if I have it all backwards. If I’m really taking revenge out on someone to prove a point or if the future is just playing out the way it should be.
One thing’s for sure, I’m determined to change my future and there’s not a damn thing anybody is going to do about it.

Chapter
Forty

Gather

Marshall’s community get together in honor of his equestrian school draws the attention of the entire island. The smoky scent of barbeque ignites the air with dreams of summertime, it smells so good—the food alone is reason enough to be here.

“Feeding the masses.” He winks over at me while we walk a decent clip towards the outskirts of his property. “That’s my specialty.”

Miraculously, there’s not a cloud in the sky and the temperature has ratcheted up at least ten degrees. For Paragon, that’s practically a heat wave.

Tad and Mom are fascinated by his estate
, and, of course, Mia and Melissa find the horses irresistible. It’s nauseating the way the entire community drools at Marshall’s feet.

“So, I saw Chloe last night, right before she got taken by
Fems
or
Ezrina
or Michelle—or whatever the heck happened to her,” I say to Marshall.

“Why do you insist on meddling with the past? You’ll never change the outcome.”