Broken Desires (2 page)

M
aintaining such pathetic ethics in Daniel’s debaucheries was his only consolation, oxymoronic as it was. He chose single, experienced and willing women only. He didn’t penetrate them, they didn’t touch
him and he
never
kissed them. Not that he could kiss if he wanted to without being mind-fucked by memories of his childhood.

Daddy
had liked his kink.

For Daniel, i
t was all about his female’s pleasures, denying his own physical needs. It was the best form of pain management he could find; the more he needed sex, the better he felt in that dirty part of him that demanded he be punished. In an odd sense, though he’d fallen prey to the pleasure demons his father had fucked into him, not being subject to the same pleasures meant he was different. Stronger. Not a victim.

It may have been a
strange kink, but he’d only needed it twice the previous year and that was a major victory. His goal was zero times a life. Because no matter how clean he pretended it was, or how smart, he was sick of it all, it all disgusted him.

Until th
at freedom came, there was Miss Sofia. He hoped she rescheduled soon. Ever since he got that phone call from his father about his precious mutt dog dying, the urges to self-harm had resurrected. Whether his father ever knew it or not, Daniel would never give him the pleasure or satisfaction to hurt himself that way anymore. Never that way.

Chapter Two

Sofia practically ran through
Karl’s Superstore after work the next day. No more looking for Mr. Perfect in the produce section, not after that horrid episode in gyno hell. She used to think how very fortunate she was that they somehow shopped at the same time, same place. Not anymore. She pushed her giant shades tighter to her face with her middle finger and flew through the freezer section, covertly throwing frozen shit into her cart without hardly looking. Just so it was edible and she made it out without running into him. Should’ve just drove the extra fifteen miles to avoid this trauma waiting to happen.

For the fiftieth time, she wondered what on earth the man thought about her. Thank God he
hadn’t seen her coochie. What was she
thinking?
As a mocking reminder, the pubic hair growing back, snagged against her silk panties. The itch tormented her until she walked like she had the Palsy in her effort to relieve it. That’s what she got for shaving the stupid thing bald. Her panties were like Velcro against her skin, and my God, did she need to
scratch!

Screw this
crap. She zoomed her buggy across the aisle into the men’s clothing section and hid behind a rack of shirts. Yanking a garment off the rack, she looked at it while shoving her hand in her pants and glancing around. Shudders racked her body as she raked her nails ruthlessly across the stubble. Razor-fucking-rash of the century! She whimpered at how damn good it felt. Jesus, yes.

“Hey there.”

Sofia screamed, yanked her hand from her pants and spun around. “Oh my God.” You! Not you! Not you!

“I knew I recognized you. I’ve seen you here before.”

“Oh yeah. What a coincidence, such a small world.” She blindly shoved the shirt back on the rack, smiling, praying to God he hadn’t seen her clawing at her
vulva
.

“You’re feeling okay?”

Her eyes went wide, then she remembered. “Oh yes. Episode passed after I took my medicine.

“Good.” He angled h
is head, looking in her basket then pushed his buggy closer to hers. And inspected the items in her cart! Really?

“
Not a very health conscious person, I see. Fresh is the best way to go, you know.”

The unexpected words threw her for a loop.
A slightly disturbed, confused, and angry loop. She glanced in her buggy. “Yeah, I usually do buy fresh, I was…in a hurry. This isn’t even for me, actually.” Okay, why the hell did she feel compelled to lie around this dude?

“
Well that’s good. A healthy body is important.”

Sofia
regarded him then leaned and peered in his buggy for several long seconds. “All organic, I see.”

He followed her gaze. “Definitely and always.”

Damn his voice was sexy. “You cook for the wife?” Sofia smiled innocently right at him, suddenly feeling the need to pry. She knew he wasn’t, but a lil’ bit of payment for his unbidden
not a very health conscious person
remark. 

“God no, I’m not married.” Like th
at was a plague.

“Oh, I see.
For the kids then?”

If h
aving a wife seemed like the plague, having kids was
The
Plague.
“Hell no. I cook for myself.”

“Yourself, wow, good. Not many people care that much about themselves.”

He chuckled, holding her burning gaze. Burning from the strain of not roaming to inappropriate parts. He sure didn’t seem to have a problem with that kind of thing. “I believe in taking care of my body.”

Sofia
’s mind interpreted that as an invitation and her gaze inspected his claims. She nodded. “You seem to be doing well with that.” Okay, no way was she meeting his gaze after that remark. “I’m a dessert lover myself. I love sweets.”

Where the hell did that come from? Had to be little miss different.
Before she could regret it, she noticed his face slow-morphed to disappointment with a hint of disgust.

“Sweets are
responsible for more deaths than alcohol and tobacco. Should be out lawed.”

His last ludicrous and dismissive statement irked her. “I don’t
live
on sweets. But I do love them. My father is a baker.”

Is? D
on’t you mean was?

“Ah, I see.” Like that explained the flaw.

Okay motherfucker. “Have you always been a health freak?” Her smile went sugary.

He regarded her for a moment, his gaze dropping to her mouth then down. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“I’ll be sure and bring you some of my special desserts.”

“Oh please, don’t. It’d be wasted if you did, I don’t do desserts.”

“I bet the women at your office do.”

“Speaking of that, did you remember to reschedule?”

Moving right along to the topic of her vagina now.  “Not yet, planned to do that today.”

“You don’t want to neglect it. Especially with that kind of diet and condition.
I imagine you battle yeast infections often.”

Sofia
gasped a laugh at his casual audacity when it came to such private matters. “Actually, no, I don’t.  Another hang-up I guess.” God, what the fuck did she ever see in this dude? Besides his fine ass and body and face and…

“Would you like to come for dinner some time?”

…oh holy shit, surely he didn’t.

“Dinner?”

For the first time, the man showed some humanity and actually seemed flustered, even if only for a split second. Then he slammed her with his intense blue gaze. “Sure.”

“Will there be dessert?”

He gave a light laugh and lowered his head. “You won’t want dessert after you taste my food. I promise.”

Holy crap,
his tone! Made her vulva go vroom. On a practical note, her mind accepted his vow as a challenge. Not want dessert, huh? Impossible. “Name the place and time and I’ll be there.”

“7:30. Saturday night. 1220 Shadsburg Circle.”

Sofia blinked several times. “I live on that street.”

“Really? No way.”
His face went from ridiculously handsome to
hot damn
with his fascination. 

“Yes way
,” she said. “In the cul-de-sac.”

“I actually just moved there a
few months ago. Fourth house on the left.”

“That was you? I saw the movers. Wow.”

His gaze briefly dropped to her mouth. “Yeah, amazing. Small world. I needed a bigger place.”

“For your animals?”

He chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling as though he thought her indirect prying were cute. “I wanted to hold classes and this home featured a sun room large enough to do that.”

“Healthy cooking classes?”

“Sexual how-to classes.”

Sweet mother of Santa Clause. “Oh, right. That’s…right up your alley.” She cleared her throat, wanting to fan her cheeks. “Will this be a group affair or one on one?”

He chuckled just as she realized how that sounded. “Definitely group.”

For some reason she found herself pissed off. Group sex classes? What kind of man was he? “You like a crowd, eh?”

“No, actually I don’t, but I don’t want to be accused of foul play either. I plan to tape the classes as an extra precaution.”

“Ah, well sign me up.
Could use all the help I can get. ”

“Great. You can be my first client.”

Fuuuuuck what was she
doing?
“Absolutely. And your first dinner guest.”

“And you know where I live, so…”

“I sure do. And I really need to get going.” She regarded her basket. “Drop off all this toxic waste to my elderly friend.” His concerned frown made her laugh. “I’m joking doc, geeze.”

“You should put it all back and get good stuff.”

“You’re serious,” she said, eying his distressed face.

“
Emphatically.”

“How about I promise to do better next go round.”

“Spoken like a true addict.”

She rolled her eyes and he chuckled. Thank God, she was beginning to really think he had issues with food.

“7:30 Saturday night?” he reminded.

“
I’ll be there. What’s for dinner?”

“I’d like to surprise you, if that’s okay.”

Shiiiiiit his
tone
was speaking to her vulva again. “I love surprises.”

“
Good. You’ll definitely love this one.”

Seduction dripped from his every word
and her vagina gunned its engines, making the Velcro under her panties demand to be raked to shreds again.

The second he was out of sight, she
yanked an opening in the hanging wall of men’s shirts, stepped inside, and shoved her hand down her pants, scratching like a dog going insane with fleas. The shuddering relief-slash-torment rolled through her.
My frikn Lord, did all that shit just go down?
Did she really just say yes to a dinner date? At his
home?
Did he really ask her?
That was the bigger question. What a
shock
to hear those words come out of his perfect sexy mouth.

But what was his angle
? His jingle-jangle? All that nonchalantness about the whole thing. Was this about his vagina profession and those classes he wanted to start? Was he merely using her for business? He knew she had sexual hang-ups, she’d be the perfect choice, wouldn’t she?

For some reason the idea irritated, excited
, and scared her. Perfect combo for a woman with security issues and an obsession with sweets. But she also had a temper. And if she found out that man was using her, she’d damn well have words with him.

****

“Gammie, I’m just going to be down the street, Amelie is here if you need anything.” Sofia’s voice was loud and firm as she placed the bell on her grandmother’s lap and ding ding dinged it. “That’s what you do if you need Amelie , okay? Ring for her, she’ll come. Do not try and get up by yourself.”

Her frail
grandmother looked up at her with a distressed expression, her lower jaw bobbing. Sofia waited to see if she comprehended all what she’d just said. “Sofia?”

The confused slash worried look in her
grandmother’s Alzheimer’s gaze made her gut clench. “Yes Gammie?”

“Could you quit
yelling
in my damn hearing aid? I’m not deaf you know.”

Relief flooded Sofi
a and she laughed. “Sorry Gammie, I love you.” She leaned and kissed her forehead, hating the days when her grandmother had spells of
who the fuck are you?

Sofia
checked the monitors on both ends, making sure Amelie had the mobile one on her hip
with
the ear bud in her ear. It was the perfect device; you could hear her mother breathing with it. This was important, since her body seemed to forget to. With the two way monitors, you could rile her immediately, but oh how her grandmother hated it.
What in God’s name are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?
Was the usual response Sofia got blasted with.
Can’t goddamn sleep around here without people shouting in your ear. I’m eight-six years old, I think I deserve some peace and goddamn quiet.

“Have a good time,” Ms. Phelps called as she left out the front door.

Oh boy, yeah. Good time, right. No problem. Just needed to calm her ass down and maybe that could happen. She paused at her car door, looking down the street. Hell, she could walk there. Work off her nerves while she was at it. Weather was fine.