Broken (29 page)

“
Are you shitting
me?”

I laughed, “No, I am not
shitting you. Can you get my bag? It’s time.” Even as those words
left my mouth, I couldn’t believe I was actually saying them. This
was it. We were going to have a daughter in the very near future.
My heart began to race and I felt a little dizzy at the thought of
labor.
Oh God, I wasn’t sure if I could do
this.
I leaned up against the counter and
poured myself a glass of water.

Garrett entered the kitchen and
immediately noticed the look on my face. “What’s the matter? Are
you in pain?”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not in pain,
but I’m not sure if I can do this.”

He began to laugh. “Well Babe, it’s a
little too late to change your mind now. You don’t really have a
choice. Come on, let’s get you to the hospital.”

Almost twenty-four hours later
Alexandria Skye Levine was born. She weighed eight pounds even and
was twenty-one inches long. I know I am biased, but she is the most
beautiful baby in the world. She looked so much like Garrett, it
was scary. She had the same dark eyes and dark hair and the most
perfect skin. Garrett hadn’t left our sides since she was born, and
he refused to go home and sleep. I told him that one of us should
get a good night’s sleep, but he insisted on staying at the
hospital with us.

The hospital released us the next day
and to be completely honest I was terrified to go home. I had never
taken care of an infant before. Yes, I had babysat but I was able
to go home at the end of the night. Garrett had even less
experience than I did, and I had to chuckle at the thought of him
changing her diapers.

We finally arrived home after the
longest car ride known to man. Garrett literally did twenty-five
miles an hour the entire way home. I was ready to kick him out of
the driver’s seat so I could drive, but I was in too much pain. We
slowly walked into the house, and I headed straight for our bed. I
needed to lie down for a little while. Garrett had assured me that
he would be fine with Allie for a few hours. He described himself
as a baby expert because the nurse had gone over with him how to
feed and burp her properly.

When I woke I looked out
my window to see the sun was beginning to set. I sat up slowly
glancing over at the clock. I rubbed my eyes. “Man, I’ve been
asleep for almost four hours.”
The house
was very quiet, and I began to get nervous. I hadn’t heard Allie
cry once. I carefully got out of bed, trying not to overdo it and
made my way through the house.

As I was walking towards Allie’s room,
I heard Garrett’s voice “You and your mommy are the most beautiful
girls in the entire world.” I tiptoed up to the door and peeked in
the doorway. Garrett was sitting in the rocking chair with Allie in
his arms rocking her. I heard him begin to hum a lullaby to her. My
heart instantly melted. I wasn’t sure how I had lucked out and
married this man. Thinking back over the last year it had been the
happiest time in my life and now with Allie here I knew it was only
going to get better.

The End

Epilogue

I sit here in my back
yard, and I think about how the
past seven
years have flown by. As I listen to Allie laugh as Garrett chases
her around the back yard I can’t help but smile. Allie just
celebrated her seventh birthday. She will be starting the second
grade in the fall. She has turned into a beautiful little girl with
gorgeous curly, brown hair and beautiful brown eyes just like her
dad. Every time I look at her my heart melts.

She’s become a big sister to two
little brothers. Zakary, who is the spitting image of Garrett, we
call him Garrett’s “mini me”, and Shane, who definitely takes after
my side of the family with his beautiful, curly bleach blonde hair.
Zakary turned five in January and Shane turned three ten days ago.
Needless to say, I have my hands full with these two. They are
definitely all boy, the more trucks, planes and action figures the
better.

Garrett officially left the United
States Marine Corps last year. Even though he loved being a Marine,
he loved being with his family more. He had grown tired of all the
traveling and chose to be home with us. I know the decision was not
an easy one for him to make. On several occasions, he asked my
opinion, I simply said I will support you and stand by you in
whatever you choose.

After Garrett left the Marines, we
decided to move back to home to be closer to our families. We
bought a small cape style house with four bedrooms and a big
backyard for the kids. I had remained friendly with Katie all these
years and when I came back to the area, she immediately offered me
a part-time photography job. Garrett was offered a position at
Smith and Wesson. With all of his weapons experience they would
have been fools not to give him a job.

Though, I loved living in Hawaii I was
really glad we came back home. I had become homesick and I wanted
my children to know their Grandparents. In addition to being closer
to our parents I wanted Allie to be close with my Godson,
Dominic.

Not long after I found out I was
pregnant with Shane, Nicole called me in a complete state of panic.
She was late. She’d been on the Pill forever and couldn’t figure
out how this could have happened. She had called me for advice, she
had seen firsthand what my decision had done to Garrett and I and
she was unsure what she should do. I told her to trust her gut.
Only she could make that choice.

She ultimately broke down and told
Michael she was pregnant. She decided to keep the baby and
respectfully told him he could either help her raise the baby, or
he could walk away. At first, Michael was thrown, off but,
ultimately he welcomed Nicole’s news with open arms. They are now
happily married and expecting their second child.

Looking back on all the decisions I
have made I wouldn’t change a thing. I have a husband who loves me
and three beautiful healthy children. Yet, I still can’t help but
think about everything Garrett and I had been through. Garrett
losing his leg in Afghanistan and me living a life of
self-destruction and self-medication could have destroyed us both,
yet here we are more in love than ever.

I think about how things could have
ended up based on that one decision that changed our lives forever.
I truly believe if I hadn’t made that decision I wouldn’t have
married the love of my life nor would I be a college graduate. I
cannot change the decisions that I have made in the past, but I can
learn from them and make the most of the life that I am living
now.

Dedication

This book could have not been written
without the love and support of my husband, Frank. I think at first
he thought I was out of my mind for writing this book but through
my journey he has really become my cheerleader. He even let me
venture out to Los Angeles to shoot the cover. He inspired this
story and has been the love of my life since I was sixteen. No
words can express how much of an impact he has had on my life and
this book.

Also, Nicole for being a pivotal part
of my life and the creation of this book. Katie & Hillary who
have been one of my best friends for over a decade. Teresa Mummert
who got my creative juices flowing, without you I wouldn’t have
found the courage to take the leap of faith to write. Diane and
Marilyn who must have read this book one hundred times and helped
me edit it. They took so much time out of their lives to help me.
Aimee who was the first book blogger to read Broken and has
listened to me vent on more than one occasion. Belkis and Mark
thanks for letting turn your house upside down for my adventurous
twenty-four hour whirlwind stay in L.A. Cheers! Kathy Krick thanks
for bailing me out of my editing issue I am forever indebted to
you.

Todd M. LeMieux for creating the
sickest cover on the face of the planet. I gave you free reign and
you rocked it. I will be thanking you for the rest of my
life.

My cover models Mr. Alex Minsky and
Miss Brittany Marie Flores I cannot thank you enough. You two look
amazing together and brought Leila and Garrett to life.

And lastly to my “Smutty Mafia.” You
truly inspire me to become the biggest “Book Whore” on earth. (Even
though I haven’t read a book in ages. Shhhhh)