Bringing Home Danny (48 page)

“
Turn the air off, Mitch, Danny's freezing.”
 

Danny put up no resistance to being brought back home. He figured he owed it to them not to cause any more trouble. He quietly went about his business and did anything that was asked of him without complaint. Antonio was aware that their time with Danny was limited. He tried to enjoy the time they had left, but there was no spark in Danny. Even the bad tempered, argumentative Danny was preferable to the spiritless and passive young man who inhabited their home.

Danny didn't have the energy or desire to argue. He didn't want to show them any disrespect, but the place no longer felt like home. He convinced himself that it never was. He was deluded to think he had a real family. These men were kind and honorable. To them he was only a teenager in need, and they did the respectable thing. More than that, they went above and beyond what anybody could hope for. He had no right to expect more. He spent the following days feeling empty. Danny went to school and spent long hours napping on a couch in the back of the library. He also took on more hours at work to avoid interactions with anybody he had a personal relationship with.

“
Are you okay, sweetheart?” Antonio placed the back of his hand to the worrisome boy's forehead.
 

Danny forced a placating smile, and said, “I'm fine.”

“
The workload at school isn't too much now that you're going full time is it?"
 

“
No, the workload is fine."
 

"Mitch and I would like you to consider cutting back your hours at work. There is no need for you to be making money while you are in school.”

"I am going to need the money when I move back in with Ethan. The rent there is expensive, even with two extra people.”

“
Are you sure we can't convince you to stay here with us?”
 

“
I'm sure, but thanks for the offer.”
 

Antonio helped Danny to pack more of the things he left behind, and volunteered to drive them over to Ethan's. Danny's birthday was in two weeks, and they agreed to help him move back to Ethan's during the Thanksgiving break. Danny was already spending most of his time there anyways.

“
We'd like you to spend the holiday with us, and then you can officially move in with Ethan over the weekend,” Antonio mentioned, on a gray Sunday morning.
 

“
Thanks,” said Danny, trying to appear positive.
 

*****

“
He's been so despondent lately. What did we do wrong?” Antonio asked Mitch later that night.
 

“
We didn't do anything wrong. Danny just has to figure some things out on his own.”
 

“
What does he have to figure out? He knows we love him. He'll always have a home here with us.”
 

“
Unfortunately, not the way he wants it.”
 

“
Oh, you don't take what TJ said seriously, do you? He can't really want to be in a relationship with us.”
 

“
Why not? Face it, Antonio, by the end of the month, he will be legally an adult.”
 

“
I don't care what the law says. How can we just let him go?”
 

“
We don't have a choice. He already sees himself as an adult.”
 

“
I see a scared and vulnerable boy. He still needs us.”
 

“
That's part of the problem. You can't see past your need to save the child we brought into our home a year and a half ago. It's too late for us to save that boy anymore than we already have.”
 

“
I don't believe that. He does need us. I know he won't admit it, but he wants to
be here.”
 

“
Aren't you listening? He doesn't want us to mother him like a child. He wants us to love him like a man.”
 

“
How do you know that?”
 

“
Antonio, don't be blind. Open your mind, and see him with a fresh set of eyes. The boy is not despondent because he had a bad childhood and needs us to recreate a better home life for him. The boy is lovesick.”
 

The impact of those words finally hit home for Antonio. “Oh God, Mitch. What do we do?”

“
Well, the way I see it, we have only two options. Either we send him off with our blessing and wish him well. Or we love him, as a man, and bring him home.”
 

“
Certainly there are other options."
 

"Mitch, please,” Antonio pleaded, when he remained quiet.

“
Antonio, love, this is the one request I cannot honor. Our time has run out with Danny. He is no longer willing to let us coddle him like a child, nor would I want him to. It's time he grows up.”
 

“
But he's so young and fragile. He has no family but us.”
 

“
He'll get bruised along the way. He needs an opportunity to make it on his own if he is ever going to survive.”
 

“
I don't want him to just survive. I want him to be safe with us. I want him to thrive and be happy.”
 

“
Be reasonable, Antonio. How happy could he be surrounded by men he wants more from than they are willing to give? How happy could anybody be in such a
circumstance?”
 

“
Oh, Mitch, what did we do?”
 

Mitch held Antonio; it had been a long time since he heard the man cry.

“
We did nothing wrong, but nurture and care for a young man who has fallen in love with us.”
 

Antonio nodded his understanding until shocked still by Mitch’s next words.

“
Now we have to decide if we can fall in love with him, and if there is room in our hearts for another.”
 

“
Mitch, you can't be serious?”
 

“
I love him, Antonio. I don't want to see him go.”
 

“
As a man? You...you love him as a man?” Antonio stuttered in disbelief.
 

“
I love him,” Mitch reiterated with confidence.
 

“
But...”
 

Mitch cut him off to make his confession. “When I took Danny out of that bar... In fact, before I found him, before he even left, I knew my feelings for him were changing. I'll be damned, but it was killing me to think he was making himself available to other men. I'm not proud of it, but when I saw him on that pool table, the first thought that came to me was not 'thank God he's safe,' but 'thank God no one touched him.' That boy is mine. Nobody else has a right to him.”

 
“
Mitch?” Antonio questioned, when his partner fell silent again.
 

“
I'm all right,” Mitch responded, brushing off Antonio's concern.
 

“
So, you want him to
be
with us? Like the others?” Antonio asked, trying to wrap
his mind around what Mitch was telling him.
 

“
It's hard to say, Antonio. I'm consumed with guilt at even the thought of it.”
 

“
What should we do? I usually look to you for the hard decisions.”
 

“
That's funny, because I usually look to you.”
 

Antonio gave a tearful smile. “Well, if we are seriously considering this, then it is not a decision for two. It is a decision for five.”

*****

Thanksgiving was a quiet affair. Danny was trying to stay upbeat and show his gratitude for being allowed a few drinks with the men. Leaving was weighing heavy on his mind, making it hard for Danny to enjoy himself. He kept thinking about how it would probably be the last holiday they would share together.

The men were originally waiting for Danny's eighteenth birthday to appease any lingering doubt about his age before they asked him to enter into their adult relationship. With his impending move and melancholic mood, they decided to approach the subject after their Thanksgiving meal.

“
Danny, please put the glass of wine down.” Mitch could no longer stand to watch his admirable, yet failing attempt to keep up a brave front.
 

“
Why? I only had two drinks all day.”
 

“
I know. I want you to be clear headed. We have something very important we need to discuss with you.”
 

“
We?”
 

“
All four of us.”
 

“
It's not going to be in the office, is it? The four of you don't want one last chance to spank me before I leave, do you?” Danny joked to ease the tension.
 

“
No, it's doesn't have to be in the office if it makes you feel uncomfortable. How about the family room?”
 

“
Uh, okay.”
 

It felt like he was walking to a firing squad with the four men following somberly behind him. Danny's legs jiggled anxiously as he sank into the couch waiting for someone to say something. Antonio gave him the same sympathetic face he was wearing all day and took a seat across from him. He pulled Ricky in to sit with him on the love seat. Ricky rested his head against Antonio and couldn't be reached for eye contact. Mitch sat on the edge of the recliner, looking as sober as ever. Thank goodness for TJ. He flopped down next to Danny, forced on a smile, and gave him a reassuring wink

Danny crisscrossed his legs, and put his hands in his lap feeling young and insecure.

Mitch began. “Danny, TJ has informed us about the nature of your feelings for us.” Danny glared at TJ who gave him an apologetic shrug. He had no choice but to accept it; and he looked down at his hands with a blush. Mitch waited for Danny to slowly peep his head back up. “I would like to start by saying we are all very flattered...” His voice became muffled and Danny's vision blurred. “Danny, are you listening? Stay focused,” Mitch said, with concern. He noticed the way Danny's pupils dilated, and the subtle change in his breathing. The young man blinked in response, and Mitch continued, “I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that we have a difficult time viewing you as an adult.”

Danny bit his quivering lip. “I know. I understand.” It was the hardest thing he ever had to say.

“
You are young and being patient can be very difficult. On the flipside, I'm afraid, the older we get the slower we are to accept change.”
 

It was too difficult to speak, so Danny just nodded.

“
That doesn't mean we can't, or won't.”
 

“
What Mitch is trying to say is that we love you very much,” Antonio added.
 

“
I know,” Danny assured them.
 

“
Hear me out. We are all very saddened by the idea of you leaving, and each one of us would be thrilled to have you stay with us.”
 

“
I appreciate that,” Danny said, as sincerely as he could.
 

Antonio finished by saying, “Our home will always be available to you however you choose to live here.”

Ricky felt compelled to share his own words. “Danny, I continue to be amazed each day at the capacity of love that exists in this house.”

“
Uh, huh.” If Danny were not so grief-stricken, he would have found it amusing how they were all struggling to let him down easy.
 

“
So, what do you say?” TJ asked.
 

“
Umm... that's very nice.”
 

“
Do you need time to think about everything we said before you make a decision?” Antonio questioned.
 

Danny looked around at all four men and honestly felt bad for them. “Don't worry. I figured out a while ago that you don't feel the same way for me. It's fine. I know you care about me, and I promise I'll come back and visit from time to time.”

“
Danny, you little shit!”
 

“
What?!” Danny shouted back at TJ.
 

“
It's very generous of you to say you will grace our presence from
time to time
, but that's not what we're asking.”
 

Mitch shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Danny,” he finally said, “what we're not so eloquently asking is whether or not you would like to join in our relationship.”

Danny's heart pounded to his throat. His ears were hyper alert to any comment that might negate what he thought he heard. He prayed not to be misunderstanding their words; he couldn't take the disappointment. Not after all of the energy he put into bracing himself for their rejection. He never felt so scared in his life.

“
Danny, can you hear me?”
 

Danny could hear, but he couldn't respond.

“
Take all the time you need, the offer is never going to expire,” Antonio assured him.
 

“
Danny, are you okay?” TJ asked.
 

Danny sat defenseless as tears began to crack through the wall he built.

“
Danny? Sweetheart?” They gathered around him and he felt their warmth. They were close, but not intruding. Danny noted their concerned faces and took strength in their love.