Bringing Home Danny (37 page)

“
They're idiots. I never even liked classical music until I heard you play. Antonio says it's an honor to get accepted into Juilliard, and that you must be very talented. You should go there and finish your education.”
 

“
You think so?”
 

“
Antonio thinks talent like yours is a gift, and shouldn't be wasted.”
 

“
Antonio is kind.”
 

“
He's also really smart.”
 

“
So are you.”
 

Danny appreciated the way Ricky was talking to him like he was an adult, whose opinions mattered.

*****

Although Ricky's days were filled with the company of lively men who had awoken his soul to possibility and his heart to laughter, his evenings inevitably led to slow, lonely nights. Helpless to stop the melancholy from invading the quiet of his evening, Ricky stayed awake listening to the rustling of Danny tossing in his bed. Sleeping so close to his room, he soon realized that restless nights were common for his younger friend, as well. He wanted to go in and check on him, but wasn't sure if he would be welcomed.

Danny gave up trying to sleep shortly before the break of dawn broke. Ricky could hear him get out of bed, and decided to follow him downstairs. Fumbling through the dark he contemplated calling out to him or turning on a light. Afraid to startle him, Ricky's intuition told him it was best not to interrupt his thoughts. He found Danny sitting in the office behind the large mahogany desk with the soft glow from the desk lamp casting long, sad shadows in front of him. Mitch's deluxe-sized leather chair appeared to swallow him up.

“
Can't sleep?”
 

Danny bolted upright, dropping the sealed envelope he was fiddling with. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it was only Ricky.

“
I don't sleep much,” he explained.
 

“
What are those?” Ricky asked, pointing to the stack of letters on the table next to him.
 

“
Letters from my mom. Antonio kept them hidden in this drawer. I knew I'd find them somewhere.”
 

“
Are you going to open them?”
 

Danny made a definitive decision. “No, I'm not going to open them.”

“
Are you sure?”
 

“
I'm sure. I don't need to open a letter to know what's in it.”
 

“
What are you going to do with all of them?”
 

“
I want to burn them.”
 

“
Shouldn't you wait to see what Antonio or Mitch have to say?”
 

“
They're my letters,” Danny answered defensively. “I don't want to tell them. They think I'll change my mind and want to read them when I'm older.”
 

“
They're usually quite wise about things.”
 

“
Not about this. I don't care if she's my mother, I can't trust a word she says. You can't have a relationship with someone like that. It fucks with your head.”
 

Danny began to frantically open drawers. Ricky switched on the ceiling light and offered to help him search for his missing item.

“
What are you looking for?”
 

“
Fucking health freaks! I can't find a lighter any place!”
 

“
There’s matches by the fireplace in the family room,” Ricky offered, hoping to quell his rising temper.
 

Danny stared up at him. “I didn't think of that. We haven't used the fireplace since March.”

“
I'll help you get it started.”
 

As a warm fire smoldered, Danny and Ricky sat on the floor together shifting through envelopes. They took turns throwing the letters in the fire one at a time.

“
This is the last one,” Ricky said, handing it to Danny. Danny reached for the letter and stopped.
 

“
Thanks,” he said, noticing for the first time how the fire dancing off Ricky's soft brown eyes made them glisten. Danny bit his bottom lip with thoughts of kissing Ricky. He nudged a little closer to take the letter.
 

Ricky met his probing eyes and thought,
maybe in a few years
.

“
Anytime, kid.”
 

Danny nodded his disappointment, and threw the last letter into the fire. They sat quietly listening to the crackling sounds of the fire. Danny's tired eyes eventually turned red from staring too long at the flames. When they began to water, Ricky put his arm around his shoulder. Danny didn't have the resolve to pull away.

“
What did she do to you that was so bad?” Ricky finally asked, breaking the silence between them.
 

Danny yawned self-consciously and shrugged.

Ricky gave Danny’s shoulders an encouraging tug. “Surely you've given it more thought then that,” he teased.

Danny sighed and said, “She didn't care enough to keep me safe.”

“
Safe from what?”
 

“
Her rage, her boyfriends, anything that got in the way of her drinking.”
 

“
If you want talk about it, I'm willing to listen.”
 

“
I already don't sleep well, and when I think about it I get nightmares.”
 

“
Is there anything that helps?”
 

“
TJ used to sleep with me, but he's not allowed to anymore.”
 

Danny reached up and touched the tear that clutched the corner of Ricky's eye. Ricky removed Danny's hand from his face, and brought it to his lips. “Come here,” he said, standing up, after kissing the back of Danny's hand.

He walked them to the loveseat, pulling Danny in with him as he sat against the arm of the comfortably oversized chair. Danny curled up beside him with his head resting on Ricky's lap. He soon fell asleep to Ricky combing a soothing hand through his hair. Ricky marveled at how young and irresistibly sweet Danny seemed while he placed his precious little sleep in his hands.

*****

Ricky felt privileged to be even a small part of the lives of these men. He was never as happy as when he was with Antonio. He was content to be anywhere with him. Just going to the store was an enjoyable adventure. Ricky made usually mundane activities pleasurable for Antonio, too. He looked forward to their time alone together. They both could appreciate the simple things in life, and Ricky's contagious smile would creep into small moments catching Antonio completely off guard.

“
When are you going to begin playing again?” Antonio asked Ricky one rainy afternoon. It was sad watching his instruments collect dust. Leaning still against the wall of the guest room, they reminded Antonio of lifeless puppets waiting for the wave of the magician's wand to wake them again.
 

“
I can't seem to get motivated. I'm afraid I might have lost my passion for it.”
 

“
Play me something.”
 

Ricky had a mental block when it came to his music. His fingers had healed, but he hadn't been able to find the inspiration to play.

Unable to deny a request of Antonio's, he asked, “What would you like to hear?”

“
How about some New Orleans' jazz? It's been ages since I heard it played live.”
 

Ricky lifted his tenor saxophone. He held it in his arms getting reacquainted with the feel it. “I'm a little rusty.”

“
I'm not too picky.”
 

After a quick tune up, Ricky began to ease into his usual warm up piece. Before long, he found his rhythm, and was surprisingly exhilarated to be playing again.
All of his nervousness left his body as he was completely consumed by his music. Antonio loved seeing Ricky engrossed in his playing. And, Ricky loved the way Antonio tapped his foot and hummed along with his head bobbing to the beat.
 

Captivated by the noise from upstairs, Mitch was lured to Ricky’s room. He was soon enveloped by the lively music, and the kinetic atmosphere created by the two men who seemed oblivious to all else. Swept away by the erotic music, Mitch uncharacteristically began to sway. “It sounds beautiful, Ricky,” he remarked, under its spell. He then took Antonio's hand and invited him to dance. They laughed as Ricky continued to play for them.

Mitch spun Antonio around, and complimented Ricky once again. “You got talent, kid.”

“
Music to soothe even the most savage of beast,” Antonio teased into his lover’s ear.
 

Ricky felt proud, but he also felt a pang in his soul as he watched them dance, and the music took on a more sorrowful, bluesy tone.

*****

The romantic atmosphere that Ricky unwittingly created lingered to the late hours of the night. Mitch bedded Antonio early in the evening and the two stayed in a lustful embrace long past the break of day. After TJ left to bring Danny to work, Mitch and Antonio stayed in bed enjoying an unaccustomed lazy day. The conversation under the blankets inevitably rolled into talk about the young man who inspired their late morning snuggle.

“
I know he's young, but he's mature for his years. TJ is infatuated with him. He brings out the best in him. And he's good with Danny, too.”
 

“
I agree. He's a lovely young man.”
 

“
Ricky is going to need someone who will be careful of his sensitivities. It will kill me to see him hurt again. I know he's too shy to say anything, but he doesn't want to leave. He's happy here.”
 

“
Those are not reasons to enter into a relationship with someone.”
 

“
He takes my breath away.”
 

“
Well, that's a little different.”
 

“
There is just something about him that reminds me of Jesse.”
 

Mitch hid an involuntary wince. It was rare that Antonio would speak of his first love, or the painful memory of his death. Today was the first time Mitch heard him say his name without a tremble of anguish in his voice. “He must be very special to you then.”
 

“
Mitch, we have been together for a long time, and my love for you grows stronger every day. I would never do anything that would jeopardize that. If you or TJ don't feel as strongly for Ricky as I do, and if you think it will strain our relationship too much, I'll never bring it up again.”
 

“
Are you not satisfied with our relationship? Is there something missing?”
 

“
Oh no, I could never replace you. I wouldn't want to. I feel the same way about TJ. I knew we were taking a big risk when we made our twosome a threesome, but taking on TJ has made us stronger. I didn't think it was possible, but seeing the way you care for him has made me love you even deeper. I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense. It's hard to explain.”
 

“
You make perfect sense. I know exactly how you feel.”
 

“
Tell the truth, Mitch. I've seen the way you look at Ricky, and Ricky melts when you're near him. Am I wrong when I think you might care for him, too?”
 

“
No, as always, you are very perceptive. I just don't want to make a rash decision. What we have may be unusual, but it is suits us perfectly. I want to make sure we make the right decision for the right reason.”
 

“
That's one of the reasons why I love you so much.”
 

Antonio reached the back of Mitch's head and pulled him into a kiss. Mitch offered no resistance. He never could where Antonio was concerned. Mitch kissed him back savoring the moment.

“
You know I could never deny you anything," he confessed. "If bringing Ricky into our relationship will make you happy, then it will make me happy, too.”
 

“
Are you sure?”
 

“
You haven't steered me wrong yet.”
 

“
Well, we won't make any decisions until we discuss it with TJ.”
 

Not wanting to put the discussion off any longer than necessary, Mitch and Antonio asked TJ to join them in the master bedroom later that afternoon.

“
We love you very much, TJ, and that will never change,” Antonio said, leading him to bed.
 

“
I know. Why are you telling me this?”
 

“
We have a proposal to offer. But if you feel differently, we will take it off the table,” Mitch informed him.
 

“
Don't you mean off the bed?”
 

Mitch held his gaze. “TJ, we need you to be serious."

“
What is it?” TJ asked, suddenly displaying his rarely seen insecure side.
 

“
We would like to ask Ricky to join our relationsh...”
 

“
Really?!” TJ shouted, stopping Antonio from finishing his well thought out explanation.  
 

Nodding smiles revealed relief as well as excitement.

“
I was hoping that was it. I didn't want to say anything…”
 

“
Are you sure?” Mitch asked.
 

“
I'm sure, if you two are sure.”