Break Your Heart (10 page)

             
“Do you want me to?”

             
“Not really,” she moved her hand towards his helping him remove the remainder of what she wore. 

             
“Come on,” he said, standing back up and walking over

to the sliding door leading out to the back of the house.

              “Where?” Gina quickly scrambled from the ground, running over to him.

             
He slid the door open giving way to the freezing air to come crashing in at them.

             
“It is so cold out there,” she contested.

             
Grant walked out into the snow in his bare feet towards the hot tub that sat a few feet away.  He pulled the cover off watching the heat escape into the air. 

             
“I don’t think so. It’s freezing out!”

             
“Seriously Gina, where’s your sense of adventure?” He slowly walked up the steps to the hot tub and carefully lowered himself into the hot water.

             
“Wow, umm, ok.” She let go of any better judgment

and stepped out into the snow, sliding the door shut behind her.  “Ahh!” She screamed out loud and out of control as the cold snow sent sharp pricks into her feet. She made her way as quick
as she could up the stairs and into the hot tub without regard for the heat of the water. “Oh my God, it hurts. Grant it is so hot!” She squealed loudly, standing up in the hot tub to get some relief from the burning sensation that wrapped her skin.

             
“Relax babe, it’s okay,” He assured calmly, leaning his head back in contention. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “Your body will get used to it. Just relax.”

             
Her body had already begun to adjust to the hot water. Gina slowly lowered herself down onto the bench seat pulling her hands and arms down into the water away from the cold winter air. 

             
Still with his eyes closed and head laid back, Grant reached his arm over and pulled her close into him. They lounged back in silence listening to the humming of the jets, watching the snowfall.  

             
“This is so calming.  I think I could fall asleep in

here,” Gina said.

              “I know. It’s the jets. They are soothing.” He replied.   

They laid back into the tub, cuddled into each other
in a dazed stillness. Minutes slowly rounded the clock before either spoke a word.

             
“I think we should get married” Grant blurted out.

             
“I think we should get married too, someday.”

             
“Someday?”

             
“Yeah.”

             
“Ok, how about June?”

             
“June, why June?”

             
“I graduate in June. Do you think I got through college

a
Yeahr early to start working? I did it so we could be together.” His calm and collected demeanor hadn’t broke a bit. 

             
Gina looked around the back yard dimly light by the moon and stars shining down from the sky as she took in his words.  She loved the idea of spending the rest of her life with Grant, and knew one day it would be. But the idea of doing it now scared her. It wasn’t that she questioned her love for Grant or his for her; she questioned the thoughts and gossip of everyone around her. She turned to him, putting her hand on his chest. “Baby, this is serious.  Look at me.”

             
He turned his head and peered at her with his bright green eyes beaming in the moonlight.

             
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I cannot picture ever being without you.  Grant, you’re my other half, my soulmate.” She stopped as he looked at her with a cracked smile, enjoying her words. “But June? It is so soon. Six months?  Besides, come June I will still have another two Yeahrs of school left.”                           

             
“Yes, and come June I will be in North Carolina starting my new job. It’s a lot farther from Ohio than Chicago. We won’t get to see each other as much.  We see each other so little now.”

             
“I need to finish school though.”

“The
re are schools in North Carolina. People transfer

all
the time, babe.”

             
“I know they do. Trust me, I would love to be able to wake up to you everyday.”

             
“So, marry me.”

             
“Grant. I will.  We’re just not ready.”

             
“Says who?”

             
“Says me! Grant, I am a sophomore in college. I have a degree to earn.  I have things to learn, experiences to have. I want to marry you. I do. I just don’t want to be married now.”

             
Grant grew quiet. He appeared somewhat defeated which was a rare position to ever see him take.  His mind went still as he paused on thoughts of their future together.  “You’re not ready,” he whispered in realization of something he had never considered.  “I want to be with you Gina. I want to be with all of you. Not just the Gina I see every few weekends. I am ready to be with you.” The volume in his voice grew and dropped with each word.

             
Her thoughts ran from one moment to the next wondering what it would be like to change the rest of her life, to change her plan to be with him. It was something she wanted to have, but not now. There was so much else she needed to do, needed to see and needed to experience.  Her chest constricted as she began to see that maybe just maybe she was on a different page then him.

*****

The sound of a plow truck blowing past Gina’s car startled her and broke her thoughts. The snowfall had lightened a bit. She looked behind her to see a clearing in the traffic and the café her and Ali sat at a short time ago. She put her car into gear and cautiously moved out onto the road.  The freshly plowed snow was still rough under her tires, but the winds had stopped carrying it off the ground blocking her view of the road.  Gina cleared her mind and concentrated on the road ahead of her as she carefully made her way home.

Nine

             
Grant gazed out the small window that sat above his kitchen sink as he washed the dishes he had set there the night before. He rinsed the soaped up plates in the sink, then carefully placed them in a rack to dry on the left side of the sink. He grabbed the dishtowel hanging on the handle of the oven and wiped his hands dry. The freshly risen sun poured a dash of light into his kitchen, marking his floor with a bright streak. He followed the streak up through the window and out to the backyard into the crisp spring air.

             
The warmth of the clear morning drew him towards the back door in the kitchen. He pulled open the old wooden door, immediately feeling the light air pass by him and into his house. He stepped onto the cool stone patio feeling his face warm in the sun’s glare. Grant took a seat lounging back into the oversized lawn chair that sat in a pair at the foot of his patio. They were perfectly positioned to stare off into the large nature preserve that sat at the edge of his property line.

             
He slid his foot under the chair immediately feeling something below.  He peered down catching a glimpse of what was causing the block.
Shit.
He had left his guitar outside last night after he played with his neighbor Mike.  Mike was a confirmed bachelor who lived three doors down. He was the only person he met in his six Yeahrs in North Carolina who made him feel at home.  Mike was always relaxed and calm, kicking back, enjoying every minute of the life he had.  The twosome often broke out their guitars late at night over a case of beer and a bonfire. 

             
Grant pulled the black, damp guitar case out from under the chair and opened it.  His Gibson sat perfectly put away with two brown shiny picks laid carefully on top.  He picked the guitar up and out of the case finding its resting place close to his knee on his left leg. The stillness of the preserve in the distance captured his stare as his fingers began to play.  He fell into song after song, without a thought or pre-determined plan. Dropping deep into what he called his “music meditation,” as he lost his mind in the music and memories of his past.  Gina took forefront this morning as he found himself playing songs like “Crazy”, “How Sweet It Is”, and “Break Your Heart”
.
With his thoughts rooted in the life he once knew, Grant found himself playing louder and louder with each stroke he had.  He could almost see Gina, as real as life, as he sang from the bottom of his heart.  The memories of what once was pained him with every word he sang. He could picture her lying carelessly on the couch listening with admiration as he sang, giggling and singing along to his family room performances as she sipped on wine.

             
“It’s a bit early for that don’t you think,” Sarah’s voice sliced through his thoughts pulling his mind back into the reality of the moment.  Pictures of Gina suddenly snapped into focus of the preserve he had been staring into the whole time.  He looked up and over to his fiancée with a soft smile.  Although she had just woken, her hair was combed and neatly tied back in a black ribbon. She looked more ready for the day in her purple silk pajamas then most women do after hours of preparation.

             
“Hi there.”

             
“Grant, it’s 7:00 a.m.  I doubt your neighbors appreciate this.” Sarah was leaning up against the doorframe of the weathered cream door that led from the outdated kitchen to the patio with her arms folded in front of her.

              “Nah.  It’s a weekday.  They’re already up for work.” He laughed. “Sit.” He tapped on the edge of his lawn chair.

             
Sarah looked around the back yard, taking in a deep breath of the fresh morning air. “Nice out today.” She crossed the small stone patio over to the edge of where he sat and stood in front of him.

              “What time you going in today?”  He carefully placed his Gibson back in the case and pushed down on the two latches.

             
“I have to be in the office by nine.” She replied,” I made coffee.”

             
“Great, thanks.”

             
“What are you doing today, Mister two months of paid time off?” She took his hand, pulling him off the lounge chair and led him a few steps forward through the door and into the kitchen.

             
“Hey, I worked hard for this,” He teased, tapping her on the behind. She scooted forward with a jump.

             
“Yep.  It’s so hard to get plucked out of college to work for a Fortune 500 company and then turn around six Yeahrs later to quit and get all this paid time off.” She reached her hand back tapping him below the belt.

             
“Hey now,” Grant swirled her around so they were face-to-face and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You jealous?”

             
“Nope. Not like you, I worked my ass off to find my job and I happen to love what I do.” She popped up on her toes to gain height in her stance and lightly pressed her lips to his. Sarah stepped back into the kitchen, breaking from his embrace and made her way to the hot coffee pot, pulled it off the warmer, and carefully poured into the two matching mugs placed on the counter.

             
“I’m proud of you babe, you did work hard. And your company is lucky to have the best public relations director in the country.  I’m glad they are letting you work remote when we move.” He picked his mug up off the counter and held it close to him.

             
“Yep.” She took a sip of coffee. “I know a good career when I see one.”

             
“And a teaching job at a top school in Chicago is not a good job?”

             
“Yeah, but you’ll be teaching music,” she countered, handing over the creamer.

             
“Sarah, it’s what I love to do.”

             
“I know, it’s just…”

             
“It’s just what, babe?”

             
“I just thought you would lose this boyhood dream of playing music all the time.  You’re taking a fifty percent pay cut to do this.”