Break In Two (30 page)

Gabriela paused, letting her head hang down for a moment and sighing heavily. When she looked back up at Cole, her eyes were glistening with tears, "I didn't realize what was important. I am ashamed to say I slept with him within days of returning home. A few weeks later, I discovered that I was pregnant. I
hoped
it was his child. I even told him that there was no way it was yours so that he would stay with me. When Tomas was born, it was clear that he was your son - his little blonde hair and blue eyes gave away my secret. Evandro left me at the hospital as soon as he saw his little face for the first time. He just stared at him and said, 'We are done', then turned and walked out of my life. Of course, I deserved it.

My parents were outraged, I had ruined everything. He sent all of my things to their house, but they refused for me to come home to them. I had to ask my sister to come stay with her. She agreed that I could stay until I got my feet under me again, but she couldn't help me with the baby. You remember how busy she is with her children and her clothing store. I was so tired and humiliated. The wedding was cancelled and I realized that Evandro never did love me. If he had, he would have tried to make it work, no?"

Cole said nothing, but continued to stare at her, searching for the truth.

Gabriela continued, "I know I should have called you right away, but I was exhausted and so overwhelmed with trying to look after Tomas. He wouldn't eat well at first. He was up all the night, crying and hungry. I never slept. I couldn't think of anything but taking care of him. I was so big and felt so ugly. I wouldn't have wanted you to see me like that, especially after I how left you. It took me this long to get back on my feet again."

Gabriela's voice shook with emotion, "I am so, so sorry, Cole. I wish I could go back in time. I would have come right back as soon as I realized my parents had tricked me. We would have been together, you could have had the excitement of knowing you were going to be a father and being there when your son was born." She was sobbing now, her face in her hands.

Cole sat across the room watching her come undone, not sure what to do. No part of him wanted to comfort this deceitful woman and yet he had not been raised to be cruel, which was how he felt sitting silently as she cried. He got up and walked over to the kitchen, pouring her a glass of water and grabbing some tissues from a box on the counter. He walked over and sat down beside her, holding them out to her and setting the water down on the coffee table. She took the tissue and hung her head down, continuing to sob. Cole put one hand on her back and patted her stiffly.

Finally she looked up at him, "I took it all away from you, Cole. I robbed you of your son for so long and I will never forgive myself for that. I don't expect you to forgive me either."

Cole leaned back against the couch, letting his body slump down, "I'm not going to lie to you. I've never been this angry with anyone in my life. It's not going to be easy to get over, Gabby. We'll figure things out somehow, but it's going to take time."

Gabriela looked up at him, a surge of relief flooding through her. Here was the man she was supposed to be with. He was kind and forgiving. He was a good man. She threw her arms around him and buried her face into his neck sobbing. Cole put one arm around her and rubbed her arm for a moment, then tried to pull himself away from her carefully. Gabriela let her face come up to his looking into his eyes with longing.

Cole could tell she wanted him to kiss her, but instead he gently unwrapped her arms from his body and placed them carefully on her lap. He got up from the couch and crossed the room, picking up his coat. He turned back to her.

"Why did you leave in the first place, Gabriela?" Cole had tried to fight the urge to ask her, but in the end he gave in.

"I left because my mom called and told me that my father had a heart attack. You know that."

"Yes, but when you got home and found out he was fine, instead of getting on a plane and coming right back here, you decided to stay with Evandro. Why didn't you want to come back to me?"

"Oh Cole, I was getting so lonely here, waiting for you to finish work everyday and then you'd leave for days at a time on trail rides. I missed my home and my old life - it was so exciting and fun. I was always going out with my friends, traveling, spending days at the beach. I was so stupid. I didn't know what was important in life. I was chasing fun like a dumb, young girl."

Gabriela's head hung down and tears poured out of her eyes, "It was the biggest mistake of my life, Cole. I would give anything to take it all back. No one has ever taken care of me the way you did or loved me so much, not even my own parents."

Cole gave her a hard look, "It's the exact same life here that you hated before, Gabby. But there are two major differences - now we have a son and I have Claire. And for me, no one has ever loved me the way she does. Certainly not you."

"But Cole, I never stopped loving you when I was in Brazil. I know you won't believe me now, but in time you will see. We had something so wonderful and full of passion. From that came our son. He is here because you and I are meant to be together. I made such a horrible, horrible mistake, but I can't believe it's too late. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you will let me."

Cole sighed, "Gabby, I'm in love with Claire. In time I hope that you'll see she is a good person and maybe even accept her as part of Tomas's life. We'll figure out a way to make this work so that he can have both his parents, but you and I aren't going to get back together. I need you to know that it's not going to happen, okay?"

Gabriela sobbed, letting the tears roll down her cheeks, "Okay, Cole. However it has to be. I gave up my say when I left here."

"We'll work this out. We just need time," Cole said, as he put his boots on. "I'll be back tomorrow morning before work to see Tomas, if that's okay. Maybe I can take him each morning for a little while so you can shower or get some sleep. We could start there."

"Okay," Gabriela nodded, "and Cole, I haven't thanked you. Tomas is the best part of my life by far and you gave him to me."

Cole stared at her for a moment and then turned and walked out the door. He had no response to her gratitude, having never intended to give her this gift.

The next day, Gabriela woke up feeling refreshed. As she brushed her teeth and applied just enough make-up to give her a natural looking glow, she knew that she could win him back. Claire was a pudgy, boring little cook. She was no match for her. And Gabriela had the one thing that would bring Cole back to her - Tomas. It was only a matter of time before she would have her man back and Claire would be searching for a new job. He would get over his anger towards her and they would pick up where they left off. There is no way he could have forgotten how much heat they had when they were together.

Cole's parents arrived in the late afternoon. They went to find Cole first and then he took them over to Gabriela's cabin to meet their grandson. Mary was simmering with rage at what Gabriela had done to her son. She chose to ignore Gabriela completely and pay all of her attention to the sweet little boy who looked so muc
h like her side of the family.

When they left the cabin, Mary put her hand on Cole's arm, "How's Claire doing with all of this? This must be awful for her."

"Yeah," Cole agreed, nodding. "She's taking it pretty hard but who could blame her? It's really driving a wedge between us right now. I honestly don't know how we'll get though this."

"That poor girl. I can only imagine how she must be feeling. How could you have let this happen, Cole?"

"We took every precaution, but I guess nothing is 100%. To be honest, I'm having trouble understanding it myself."

*              *              *

That afternoon, Gabriela took Tomas for a walk to the barn. She found Dustin there working alone. He had already heard the news about her and the baby.

"So this is the little guy everybody's talking about?" he said, taking Tomas's hand gently in his. "Hello buddy."

Tomas smiled at him. Gabriela greeted him warmly with a kiss on the cheek and the two chatted for a few minutes.

"Well, I should let you get back to work," Gabriela said, starting to walk away. She turned back casually, "Where is that brother of yours? I haven't seen him around yet."

"Oh, you mean that ugly mutt, Trey? He went to college this fall. We had a team of female volleyball players here a few months back and he realized what he was missing out on."

Gabriela's face flashed with relief before she laughed at Dustin's joke, "Good for him. Hopefully he'll actually make it to a few classes while he is there. Which school did he go to?"

"He's at the University of California in San Diego. I'm thinking he's working on his tan and learning to surf more than he's studying though."

"Well, I'm happy for him. You must miss him though."

"Yeah, a little. We don't hear from him much. He's not really an email or phone call kind of guy. But he'll be home at Christmas for three weeks, so that's coming up."

As the days dragged on, Claire became increasingly lonely and insecure. Cole would leave early each morning to be with Tomas before he started work and then would go back over after work to bathe him and give him his bedtime bottle. Claire felt uneasy the entire time that he was in Gabriela's cabin. She knew that each moment they spent together, Gabriela was using the opportunity to erase the mistakes of the past and regain his trust, even just a little. Things were different now. She was no longer just a woman who had abandoned him, she was now the mother of his child and she would be able to show him a nurturing, kind side of herself that still came in such a sexy package.

Claire could feel her insecurities bubbling to the surface. She would just go through the motions at the restaurant, getting through each meal without even noticing what she was doing. By the time evening came she was a mess, often drinking half a bottle of wine while she cleaned up the supper dishes at the restaurant. They hadn't made love since Gabriela had shown up. Claire was suddenly self-conscious about her body again and oscillated between being sympathetic to Cole to feeling jealous and insecure to feeling complete rage at him and Gabriela for ruining everything.

Each time she saw Cole holding the baby, it was as though someone was squeezing her heart; he was so tender and careful with him. At night, she would go to sleep with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Come morning she would wake up lying next to Cole and for the briefest moment she would think everything was perfect again only to have the crushing feelin
g settle over her chest again.

Cole barely slept at all. He would lay awake for hours, thinking or watching Claire sleep with an aching in his heart. He missed their feeling of closeness that was now absent. He wanted to make love to her so much that it hurt but he knew he couldn't. It was obvious that Claire couldn't be intimate with him right now, with the huge problem they were facing, nor with all the tension between them. She fell asleep each night with her back to him, as far away from him on their large bed as possible. He would doze off for a while and then wake again suddenly, and go downstairs to have a glass of scotch to numb his nerves before attempting to sleep again. He was still in shock and was completely furious at Gabriela for what she had done. Every time he saw her, he grew more resentful of her. He didn't want her back in his life, this woman who had robbed him of the first several months of his son's life.

When he was around Gabriela, he tried to act as though nothing was wrong, knowing that he needed to tread lightly. A few days after their arrival, he discovered that he was not on Tomas's birth certificate. She could easily take Tomas back to Brazil, leaving Cole with little chance at obtaining custody rights.

During the time that he and Claire did have together, they would argue about how to proceed with the legalities of Cole gaining custody. He still didn't see the point in having the paternity testing done and Claire still couldn't understand the upside of not doing it.

The evening after Mary and Jake arrived, Mary brought out Cole's baby album. She, Jake, Cole and Claire all poured over it, agreeing that Tomas looked a lot like Cole had at that age. A moment that Claire should have enjoyed - seeing Cole's baby pictures for the first time - was ruined. It should have been a 'what could be' event but instead felt like the beginning of the end. Mary watched the pair with her lips set tight, her heart breaking for both her son and Claire, whom she had grown to respect.

*              *              *

The day before Claire made her choice, Gabriela managed to find Claire on her own in the restaurant while she was finishing cleaning up from lunch. Mary had taken little Tomas for a long walk by the lake in his stroller, so she could have some time alone with him. Gabriela knocked gently on the door to the kitchen and then came in. She gave Claire a weary look and then asked if they could talk. Claire agreed and told her that she would be finished up in a minute.

"Why don't I wait for you in the dining area?" Gabriela said.

Claire nodded, "Okay." She exhaled sharply as she heard the door to the kitchen close.

"Fuck," she said under her breath. She had no idea what to say to Gabriela, or "Gabby" as Cole called her.

Claire finished up the dishes and then took a compact out of her purse, putting on some lip gloss, although she knew there was no point. Her eyes were full of defeat and she knew that Gabriela could sense it. She was moving in for the kill. Claire's feet felt like lead as she walked out to the dining area, carrying an open bottle of wine and two glasses. She sat across from Gabriela, who looked fresh and composed as usual.

"Wine?" Claire asked her, as she poured.

"Please," Gabriela answered.

They sat quietly for a moment, sipping their drinks. Claire looked out at the lake, knowing she would not see this lovely place at Christmas time, something she had been looking forward too. They were planning to put up a large tree in the restaurant and lights all around the lodge and restaurant before Thanksgiving. She knew that she would be gone by then.

"Claire, I want you to know I'm sorry about what this has done to you. I can tell you are really attached to Cole and if it was me I would want you and the baby to disappear."

Claire kept her gaze over the lake, taking a long sip of her wine before answering. It would take everything in her not to respond to the insult of how 'attached' she was to Cole and not the other way around. This woman knew how to dig subtly enough that she could pretend the comment was innocent after the fact.

She chose her words carefully, "I'm sure you were wishing very much to find Cole alone when you got here."

Gabriela was having trouble reading Claire. She needed to push her just hard enough to get her to leave but not so hard that Claire would dig her heels in and decide to stay. It was to be a delicate operation to get what she wanted. "You're right. I was fool enough to think he might not have moved on yet."

"If you wanted him back, why did you wait so long?"

"At first I wasn't sure if it was his baby at all. I got pregnant very close to the time I left here. I am ashamed to say that I slept with my fiancé almost as soon as I returned home, so I was hoping it was his baby. I told him there was no chance it was Cole's baby and he was humiliated to find out this wasn't the case, so he left me. By then, I was as big as a house and my whole world had just fallen apart. My parents were furious with me, I was humiliated, having to cancel my wedding and I was devastated."

Gabriela's eyes shone with tears as she looked up at Claire, "I don't say this to make you feel sorry for me. I am only trying to explain, okay?"

"I know. I'm the one who asked."

"Of course," Gabriela said, blinking back tears, "Anyway, it took me this long to get myself back in shape for Cole and to pull myself together. I could hardly return to him so huge and with big bags under my eyes from no sleep."

Claire scoffed, "You are mistaking him for someone shallow, which just shows that you don't know him at all."

"That's not true. I'm only speaking of my own insecurity," Gabriela said quietly.

Claire forced herself not to raise an eyebrow in disbelief. This was the most self-assured woman she had ever met. She never seemed to have a hair out of place and Claire had yet to see her lose her composure, even when Mary had arrived with hate in her eyes.

"Claire," Gabriela continued, "I plan to leave. You and Cole want to be together. I will take Tomas back to Brazil and get out of your way for good. There is no life for me here on this ranch in a tiny cabin alone. I could hardly be happy like this."

"Oh yeah, Gabriela, cause
you're
the victim here. What about Cole? Doesn't he deserve to have a relationship with his son?"

"He can know him still. There is Skype and when Tomas gets older, he can spend summers here maybe. Cole could come and visit him in Brazil from time to time."

"Doesn't Tomas deserve to be raised by his dad?"

"Of course, but not if both his parents are miserable. That is no life for a child either. He will be happy with my family. He has lots of uncles and someday, I will find a man to look after us both."

"You act as though it is all up to you, Gabriela. But what about Cole? He doesn't get to have some say in all of this?"

"Yes. I have given him time to make his decision. It seems that he is choosing you."

Claire rolled her eyes, "You make it all sound so simple - it's me or his son. But until ten days ago, he didn't even know he was a father. It's hardly fair to expect him to figure out his whole life in less than two weeks!" Claire's voice rose, "What did you think would happen? He would magically be overtaken by your beauty and whisk you away to marry him after what you've done to him?"

Gabriela sobbed into her hand, nodding, "I've been such a fool." She got up and rushed out of the restaurant, letting the door slam behind her. Claire sat at the table, her heart hard as stone. She wasn't buying any of it.

*              *              *

That evening, Cole got back to the ranch after a long day at the vet with one of the horses. He was exhausted and had gone over to Gabriela's cabin to see Tomas before his bedtime. It was obvious that Gabby had been crying when he got there. As he put Tomas's sleeper on him, he wondered if Gabby was going to take off with his little boy. After he gave him his bottle, he sat in the armchair, holding him for a long time, tracing his index finger along Tomas's face until he fell asleep. Cole carried him over to his playpen that they were using as a temporary crib and snuggled him under his blanket. He stood for a long time watching him sleep, his heart melting as it did each time he looked at his sweet little baby.