Brandi (17 page)

“My thought was to see if I could maybe find them real parents. They’re like their own little pack in some strange way so I don’t think they would handle being separated well. Gareth’s arranged for Jesse and Marilyn Calder to watch them until we get back. I hadn’t planned on getting them before we’d finished the assignment. Shitty Sheldon blindsided me and put them on the plane before Gareth and I arrived to board. He’d sedated them. If I’d had time, I would have looked him up and kicked his sorry ass for it.”

Matt rubbed a hand over his face. “At least you picked great babysitters. Jesse Calder is one of the toughest men I know. He won’t let anybody hurt them while you’re gone. I’ll ask Ryan and his brothers to keep an eye out as well. But Brandi… I don’t know of anyone in the pack who’s going to want to raise three mostly human children, even if they are wolf-like in some ways. There are biological reasons humans and werewolves don’t share living quarters very often. The occasional human mate is taken, but those relationships are not stable and they don’t produce children. I’m sure they’re great kids like you say, but adoption of someone else’s pups is a lot to ask of werewolves. My stepmother’s acceptance of me was a rare exception.”

Brandi drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “Okay. If no one here wants them, I’ll take them to Reed’s pack and try there. By the time I get back from my assignment, I should have paperwork naming me their legal guardian. I’ll be able to make their adoption legal at least… or I’ll figure out some sort of foster care scenario. Hell… I don’t know what I’ll do. I was reacting to seeing them with an armed guard for a caretaker. I cracked.”

While Brandi stared at Gareth making the children giggle, Ariel exchanged a look with Matt who nodded. She put an arm around Brandi’s shoulders. “Things have a way of working out when your heart is in the right place. I wouldn’t have left them there either.”

Brandi shook her head. “No. You wouldn’t have. And you probably would have killed Shitty Sheldon before he got around to telling his story. Randall Crane made them Ariel. They were his experiments before us. He was trying to start the process from scratch… or nearly so. They were three when he started. They’re all four now, but they sound like teenagers already.”

Hearing the distress in Brandi’s voice, Ariel put both arms around her and hugged.

“Lately I’ve been nearly as needy as they are,” Brandi said quietly. “I think my badass days might be ending.”

“Needing a hug won’t affect your ability to shoot bad guys or do what needs to be done. Trust me. I’ve learned that lesson. Take your hugs where you can get them,” Ariel counseled.

Brandi sighed. “Even if they come with strings and complications I don’t need?”

Matt laughed at Brandi’s complaints about his Beta. “I’m going to go over there and tell the little squirt to stop eyeballing me before he starts a confrontation. He can’t go around challenging full werewolves at his age. Someone will eat him.”

“Thanks. Thanks a lot for the damn mental picture, Matt. Anybody who tries to eat those children will answer to me. Make sure you put that word out. Those three are under my protection and not just because Sheldon Crane ordered it.”

Brandi glared at Matt’s grin as he walked toward Gareth and the kids. Off to the side, Fallon and Lars watched silently. They were in sphinx mode again, probably nervous around Matt… and rightly so. The Alpha didn’t trust or like them. He was just being polite because of her and Gareth.

Ariel snickered as she hugged Brandi again. “Relax. Matt wouldn’t hurt a child. He wants to knock me up with some. I hope like hell that never happens, but I guess I’ll deal if it does. By the way, I met Mark Lafayette. He’s a very good-looking guy. You should check him out—see how he hugs. Might balance you out.”

Brandi snorted. “No, I can’t. It’s not safe. My fangs have started coming down every time I get sexually excited. I don’t know what that means exactly, but I have a sense it could be dangerous.”

Ariel dropped her arms, stepped back, and put a hand over her mouth to hide her smile.

“What?” Brandi demanded. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Does it happen when Gareth growls in your ear?”

Brandi grabbed her with both arms. “
Yes.
So it
has
happened to you. Tell me. What does it mean?”

“I really don’t think it’s my place to explain this to you. Ask Gareth to explain it.”

Brandi let go and stepped away. “No. I don’t think so. If you won’t say, it must be bad, which means I’m really not ready to know. What can I do to stop it from happening until I can deal with it?”

Ariel sighed. “I have no idea. Nothing I did worked. Only one thing brought relief. The mating urge is a powerful motivator. What’s happening to you is how werewolves choose each other for life partners.”

Brandi sighed too as she looked at the children now looking up at Matt, who was smiling down at them all. Even Kent was nodding his head. He’d uncrossed his arms and crossed them back. She could tell the boy was working hard to control his reactions. She wanted to tell him he was doing the right thing. Hopefully she’d remember to say it to him later.

“Kent is going to need the most help,” Brandi declared.

Ariel nodded. “According to Reed, Alphas typically do. Although I’m questioning that assumption looking at you now. Becoming a werewolf has changed you more than I suspected it would.”

Brandi nodded absently. “Maybe. I lose a lot more arguments these days. I also let myself get tranquilized again when I went to see my old handler… who I found out left me with Crazy Crane on purpose. Going back there made me realize I’m losing my edge all around. I’m seeing my entire previous career very differently.”

“If you gave it up tomorrow, you wouldn’t lose anything not worth losing,” Ariel declared firmly. “You’re gaining edges and reasoning you’ve never had until now. You’re acting from compassion instead of duty. I can see why that would feel more dangerous to someone like you, but in my opinion it’s an improvement. Killing in cold blood, no matter who’s paying you to do it, is still not a reasonable way to live.”

“Maybe you’re right, but I’m not the only one who’s been on the wrong payroll. Turns out Gareth is a retired agent. The bastard turned me in and never gave me any say in the matter. I can’t forgive him for that, Ariel. It forced me to make a horrendous deal to save us… and
them
,” Brandi said, inclining her head to the kids.

“Yes. Gareth made a huge mistake in not telling you everything. I’d be pissed over that too.”

“Would you kill him over it?” Brandi asked. “I’ve come close a couple of times, but couldn’t bring myself to finish him off.”

Ariel snickered. Her respect for Gareth doubled with the story. She wondered how close the close calls had been.

“I suppose sparing his life would depend on how good he was in bed. That seems to be some new rationalization I’m personally using with men since our conversion. Matt obviously made the cut, but I can’t say as he has never done anything bad to me. He’s just annoying, overly possessive, and thinks he’s always right. Sometimes he gets in my way. So far we’ve managed to find ways to work it out.”

“What would you say if I admitted Gareth was the best man I’d ever been with in bed?”

Ariel snickered again. “I’d say you have my sympathy. I’d say Mark Lafayette would be so much easier for you to manage and you might want to give him a trial run before making any commitments. Gareth is always going to be a problem in one way or another. He has a deep, murky pool for a personality.”

“Deep murky pool? That description definitely fits him well. Other than the whole betrayal thing, I mostly like him though. He’s a creature of habit like I am. Living with him so long, I discovered our OCD issues meshed well. Ironically, I was coming back to him before I knew what he’d done. He took away the best damn illusion I ever had about a man. That’s more than half of the reason I’m still pissed. I thought my judgment had improved for once.”

Ariel nodded. “Since you haven’t killed him yet, I assume you’re on your way to forgiving him. The only piece of advice I have left is to tell you to watch out for the man’s teeth. Being marked is like getting a cattle brand no matter how many times they tell you differently. Don’t buy that shit for a minute. There are some amazing benefits too, but… well you’ll have to decide for yourself if your relationship gets to that point.”

Brandi’s gaze swung to her Alpha’s. “Are you saying you think Gareth and I really are meant to be mated?”

“No, I’m not inferring anything,” Ariel said carefully, biting the inside of her cheek. “I would never tell you or Heidi what to do about the men in your life. But I do feel it’s my duty to warn you about what might be coming. I don’t regret my permanent arrangement with Matthew, but I haven’t lived with the kind of sexual freedom you’ve allowed yourself. My bottom line is that Matt and I suit each other. I don’t know if you and Gareth do or not, but the two of you definitely are putting out vibes right now. Anyone spending time in your company will know his intentions… and your feelings on the matter.”

Brandi swiped a hand through her hair. “Sorry ass bastard… so he’s right then?”

“About what exactly?” Ariel demanded.

“That he can make my fangs come down any time he wants.”

Ariel nodded slowly, fighting not to laugh at how upset that one simple fact made her Beta. “Given what you’ve told me about how your relationship is progressing, my guess is yes, Gareth is right.”

“Damn it. That’s not fair,” Brandi declared.

“Your sexual connection to him does give Gareth a certain measure of control over you. There are ways of taking it back, but male werewolves have ways of acquiring your submission to their will when they want it badly enough. I’ve not come to any harm yet from Matt’s aggressive tendencies. Of course, Matt is the only male I don’t have to regularly fight the urge to kill. I think you’re going to have a bit more trouble with your urges.”

Brandi closed her eyes and swore softly under her breath while Ariel laughed beside her.

Chapter 13

After dropping off Fallon and Lars at the healing center, they headed out of town to the Calders who owned land tucked among towering spruce trees. The boys were sitting between her and Gareth in the seat of his truck. Their eyes were focused out of the windshield taking in the tall evergreens lining the road on both sides. Since there wasn’t enough space, Aggie had volunteered to sit on her lap and was currently leaning back on her shoulder. Her arm tightening around the little girl every time they hit a pothole had her lap child giggling in pleasure.

Brandi sighed over the oddness of their little group, but refused to let her brain do any more analysis. Her priority list was clear. She needed to deliver the children to their babysitters, complete the assigned mission, and then she’d come back to Wasilla and work things out properly. When she sighed a second time, Aggie reached up and patted her cheek.

“It’s okay. Stewart said the bears are not going to eat you. They don’t eat people. The wolves here are way more scary. They do eat people, even though I don’t think they’re going to eat us. Kent is not completely sure though.”

Brandi turned her head and gave Kent a direct look. “No one is going to eat any of you, Kent. They know I’ll kill them, if Ariel or Matt doesn’t do it first. You’re under pack protection. Matt’s word is law here. You’re safer than when you were in Grandpa Crane’s cage.”

“Do you swear?” Kent demanded.

Brandi reached over Stewart and crooked a finger. “Lock your little finger with mine. Pinky swears are sacred to me.” When Kent did it, she held his gaze. “I swear. No one is going to eat you.”

Before she could pull away, he’d tightened his little finger on hers.

“Do you swear to come back for us?” Kent demanded.

Brandi nodded… then she shook her hand to move their fingers up and down. “I swear that too.” Kent nodded solemnly and finally let go.

Stewart laughed at the drama and looked up at her. The adoration in his gaze had her squirming in her seat. “I saw the bear people in my dreams. They’re not scary. Mostly they’re very sad bears.”

“I have dreams like that too,” Brandi confided. “But not lately. I only dream when I’m here in Wasilla. I don’t know why.”

“All the wolves need you to dream here. Their energy is very restless,” Kent pronounced gravely.

“Think so?” Brandi asked, blinking at the confidence in his voice.

Kent nodded. “Matt keeps them safe, but the danger is all around here. Lots of things. I worried less when we were back at the lab.”

“Really? Did you want to stay there?” Brandi frowned. It had never occurred to her to ask the children what they wanted. She watched as Kent shook his head slowly.

“Not really, but there was less new stuff to get used to.”

She saw Gareth reach a hand down and pat Kent’s leg.

“New stuff doesn’t always have to mean bad stuff. New stuff can be good stuff. You might see where we’re going as a cage too, but your babysitters are going to be a whole lot nicer than what you’re used to.”