Bracing the Blue Line (30 page)

THANKSGIVING CAME AND went with everyone but Neil going home for the holidays. He's been more absent than he was before. I don't know where he is, but he doesn't stay here often. As far as Lucy, things have been pretty normal between us since she told me. I've been running with her for the upcoming 5K. December has brought even colder weather, too much snow, but plenty of opportunities for Lucy to press herself into me, so she can warm up. I'm pretty sure I love winter even more now.

Her brothers have still been touch and go, but I don't expect that to ever change much. Today, we're meeting them for lunch. All three. Yay, right?

“Don't look so enthused, Grant,” Lucy laughs from the passenger seat.

I reach over to take her hand, resting our interlocked fingers on the console in between our seats. “I don't look excited?”

“Not really.”

With a smile, I glance at her. “Don't worry. I'm perfectly okay being around the crazy Kennedy brothers for a meal.”

“They're only a little crazy,” she laughs. “Oh, we're going to be late. Corey hates when people are late.”

“I know,” I grin.

“Grant! You're terrible,” she chuckles as I pull into the parking lot. “At least we aren't too late.”

I park, get out, and open the door for her, reclaiming her hand once again. We cross the lot carefully, Lucy is already leaning into me because of the bitter cold. Once we step onto the sidewalk, we see all three brothers standing near the entrance, waiting for us.

“And you thought I didn't look excited,” I whisper to her upon seeing the varying degrees of frowns.

She giggles, but doesn't get to say anything before we're standing in front of them. They mutter hellos to me and give hugs to Lucy before ushering us inside. We're seated at a round table, and I get lucky enough to sit between Lucy and Jonathan, my favorite.

“Are you doing well in your classes?” Corey asks her.

“Yeah, and finals shouldn't be too terribly hard. Are
you
doing well in
your
classes?” she teases.

“I'm doing fine,” he says with a roll of his eyes. He went on to graduate school, mostly because he can't play football anymore. This is the first time I've ever seen him be anything other than pissed, so it's a nice change. “You better be checking on those bozos, not me.”

At this, Lucy turns towards them. “Well?”

“We're good too, Luce,” Patrick laughs.

“Great.”

“How has football season been?” I ask, honestly wanting to have some input at some point of this conversation. Corey frowns and looks away while Patrick and Jonathan look at me like I've grown two heads.

“You don't know how the team has been doing?” Jonathan questions as if I should.

“Do you know how my team has been playing?” I don't follow football and I doubt they do for hockey, but Patrick laughs.

“Yes, we do. Luce tells us all the time about how the games go, and we have no choice but to listen to her yap about you and anyone else who impressed her.”

Lucy's cheeks flush red, making my grin widen. Before I can comment, Jonathan adds, “I can't believe she doesn't talk to you about us like she does to us about you. Not to mention, we have to see all the pictures.”

“How long have you been taking pictures?” I ask her.

She frowns and I almost wish I hadn't asked. “I don't really know why I love it so much or where it came from. I remember wanting to take lots of pictures of them at one of their games and I begged Grandma until she gave me the camera. There weren't many good images, but I loved doing it and haven't stopped since.”

The conversation halts as our waitress drops off our drinks and then takes our order. Once she walks away, Corey clears his throat.

“Mom. She got you started. The, um, year before, she gave you a little camera for your birthday and she taught you how to use it. I remember because any time you lost it, you thought we hid it somewhere and Dad would make us search for it until we found it wherever you left it.”

“Oh,” Lucy says sadly. “I don't remember that.”

“It's okay, Luce,” Patrick tells her, taking her hand since he's on the other side of her. “We all have things we don't remember.”

“Yeah, you're right. We're going to Grandma and Grandpa's house for Christmas, right?” Lucy sneaks her hand under the table to hold mine, a simple, but important action. We haven't done a lot, which is cool. Lucy is like a slow and steady type of girl. She doesn't want to rush into things or do something if she's unsure. She wants to feel like she's ready first or like she has a good sense of direction about things, which makes sense to me. Even if it didn't, I still wouldn't mind.

“Actually, my girlfriend wants me to meet her parents,” Jonathan answers. “So I won't be going home.”

A moment of disappointment passes Lucy's face before it's gone and she's looking at Patrick and Corey. “Y'all are going, right? Grandma won't be happy if it's just me.”

“Yeah, we're going, Luce,” Corey reassures her. Our waitress drops off our food, and we begin to eat. “You're a goalie, right?” Corey asks, returning the conversation to me.

I nod. “I played a couple of other positions when I was younger, but I was better as a goalie and I loved being in the net, so it worked out.”

“He's really good too, Corey. You all should go with me to the game tonight,” she says hopefully.

“I can't. I already planned to go out with-”

“Your girlfriend,” Lucy finishes for Jonathan. “If you're spending Christmas with her, then I think you could cancel to spend some time with your little sister. She would understand, I'm sure.”

“Like you ditching us for Grant last month?” His words are clipped, so I'm guessing he's still not happy about that.

Lucy seems stunned and upset. “I...you said you weren't mad.”

Jonathan sighs. “I wasn't. I'm not. Sorry, Luce, I love you, I do, but we're not going to spend every holiday together for the rest of our lives. You should get used to that now. I'd do anything for you, you know that, but is it really a big deal if I rather to be with my girlfriend instead of going to a stupid hockey game?”

“No, I guess not,” she mumbles.

“I need to head back to school, so I won't be able to either. Sorry,” Corey offers.

“I'll go with you, Luce,” Patrick tells her. “If it's decent,” he jokes with a wink at his sister, “then we'll talk them into going to another.”

Lucy agrees and the rest of our meal is spent with the guys learning a little more about me. On the way to the library to study for a bit, Lucy is awfully quiet. Patrick's words from what seems like a lifetime ago run through my mind again.

'Lucy’s silence speaks loudly, and it’s rarely a good thing.'

I give her a little bit more time to see if she'll say anything. We manage to make it into the library and to my favorite table without her muttering a word. I grab the leg of her chair and pull her closer to me.

“Hey,” I whisper. “What's the matter, Lucy?”

She slides those bright blue eyes over at me, peeking underneath long, black lashes because she has her head angled down a little. “I realized how right Jon is. We won't always be together. They could go off, get married, and move God knows where, and we'll only get together once a year if we're lucky. I don't...” she pauses, takes a deep breath, and continues, “I don't know what I'm going to do without my brothers around all the time. Corey's already absent a lot from being in grad school and he's only an hour away.”

“You don't know that they'll move far away, but even if they do, it'll be okay. Just think about it like this. They'll be starting their careers and families, and you will be too. Even if they aren't nearby, you're their little sister and trust me, they aren't going to disappear on you.” My words don't seem to soothe her as much as I want.

“Yeah, I guess you're right, Grant. I went into worry-mode for a second there. Thanks for bringing me out of it.” She leans over to kiss me softly.

I used to think there was something delicate about Lucy, but I know now that there isn't. What can be mistaken for delicacy is more like reserved strength. She's not fragile. She's super strong. Her brothers must have taught her that. I only say that because Patrick seems the same way sometimes. Lucy's love for her family has no ends, and it's charming how happy she is when they are around. They may be overprotective at times, but she doesn't need them to be. She's independent with a quiet strength and presence. There's something about that combination that's overwhelmingly breathtaking.

She tilts her head, still close to me, as she runs a hand over my head from the front to back until her fingers are resting on the back of my neck. She loves to do that because she can feel how soft my hair is. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks quietly.

“Like what?”

“Either like you had a revelation or like you were so lost in your thoughts and you've just realized where you are.”

“Remember how you told me that I overwhelm you?” She nods, unsure of where this is going. “I realized you do the same thing to me.”

The corners of her mouth quirk up. “It's something else, isn't it? It's like suffering from pure bliss, only it's the best way to suffer.”

I HAVEN'T HEARD from Dave since he found out. It's odd not talking to him, but I don't have a lot of time to think about it between hockey, Maddie, and studying for finals. The only reason why I'm thinking about it today is because this is the weekend he was supposed to come up to see me play and hang out.

“Winston! Get your head out of your ass and focus!” Neil yells familiar words.

Oops. I missed a pass. I run after it and Coach starts putting us through some drills. Part of me wishes Maddie would be here tonight, but she's going out with some of her friends, so I didn't ask. She doesn't really care for the sport anyway. She never has and I wouldn't expect her to become suddenly interested in it.

We have about fifteen minutes until we hit the ice for the game when my parents call me. They've been away on a second-honeymoon type trip to celebrate their anniversary.

“Hey, I don't have much time,” I answer.

“That's okay, sweetie. We wanted to let you know that we're back home. Have you been doing well? We've missed you,” Mom says.

“Yeah, things have been fine. Enjoy your trip?”

“Oh, yes. It was wonderful.”

“Good. Let me call you after the game, okay?” I tell her, not really wanting to talk to her at the moment. She's going to make me feel like spilling my guts, and I don't want to do that yet.

We hang up in the knick of time. Once I get on the ice, I feel a little lighter. This is where, no matter what's happening, life makes sense. At least, in this moment, it does. I know what I'm supposed to do in this moment. I'm a defenseman. My job is to do my best to keep the other team from getting the chance to score. We're off our game though. The hits are hard, in their favor, as are the shots. The only reason we're still in this 2-0 game by the third period is because of Grant. The score could be so much worse. We don't do much in the third to get the puck into the net nor protect our own and we lose 4-0.

I hate games like these. I really hate the feeling afterwards when we know we could have done better, but we didn't follow through. When I exit the locker room, Maddie is there with Lucy, who is waiting on Grant, I'm sure. My frown already marking my face deepens when I see Maddie. She looks smaller. How is that even possible? Surely, she hasn't lost weight. That can't be healthy for her height and overall size.

She grins when she sees me. “Smile, Winston. You get to be with me tonight,” she says once I'm next to her as she wraps her arms around my waist.

“That's the only good thing about today, that's for sure.”

“We'll see you later, Lucy,” Maddie tells her before dragging me down the hallway.

“Did you come to the game?” I ask once we're in my car.

“No, I just got here. Lucy told me y'all lost. Sorry.”

“It happens.” I debate mentioning her weight. Maybe it's her clothes that make her seem smaller. My mouth stays closed until we reach the house and are in my room. As soon as the door is closed, Maddie has her hands all over me, and we're undressing.