Bracing the Blue Line (34 page)

Grant and Neil chuckle. “We know that,” Grant says. “What's the problem?”

I sigh. “She's my best friend's little sister, he's not talking to me, and I need him to. Have you noticed Maddie's lost a bit of weight?” They nod. “Long story short, I need to make Dave talk to me, so I can talk to him about that.”

Neil slaps my shoulder. “Then it looks like you better be calling him until he answers.”

“Yeah, and if he doesn't answer, find another way to get up with him,” Grant adds.

“That's what I've been trying to do.” I turn to Grant. “No problems at all?”

“Nope. What can I say? Lucy's amazing.” A sly, stupidly happy grin lifts his lips.

Neil laughs. “You shouldn't even be allowed to drink then. Looks like it's my turn?”

“Yeah, Neil. You said you had girl troubles too,” I say.

He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. Then he mutters, “I'm going to be a dad.”

My jaw falls to the floor as Grant and I openly gape at him. Wow. That's huge. “Holy shit,” I voice my thoughts.

“Yep,” he agrees before drinking more beer.

“That's why you're working?” Grant asks.

He nods. “Yeah, gotta do something. And in-between, I'm with Audra. That's her name.” He sighs again. “I'm in love with her, but not really sure how to tell her. We've been sticking to the pregnancy for the most part. It's a girl,” he finishes with a small smile, looking genuinely happy.

“Wow,” Grant breathes. “Why haven't you said anything to us before? Does Coach know?”

“Yeah, I told him soon after I found out. I just...I don't know. It's a big deal and I didn't want to hear any shit I guess.”

“We wouldn't do that, you know that, Neil,” I tell him. “Congrats, I guess?”

He grins. “Most definitely. Thanks.”

“Congrats,” Grant adds.

“Thanks. She's due in February.” February? That's two months away. Neil clears his throat and keeps talking. “I've been meaning to talk to y'all anyway. She's moving in with me over break. You can stay as long as you need. My parents could help you find a new place or you could stay and deal with having a baby in the house until the semester ends. My room is big enough that the baby's stuff could be in there, but Audra's really hoping to have a nursery. So, someone might have to give up their room and share.”

Ugh. That would be fun. Not only to share a room, but to have to be mindful of a baby? Our sex lives would go down the drain so fast, that is if Maddie ever comes around again. It'll have to do until the end of the spring semester at least. Neil drains the rest of his bottle and stands.

“Think about it over break and let me know what you're doing when you get back. I need to see her before the game. Thanks for the beer, Winston, and I hope you get up with him soon.”

“Thanks.”

He leaves and Grant shakes his head. “Who knew, right? A kid. Wow. Are you going to stay?”

“Maybe, but only for the semester. It'll be fun,” I deadpan. “I'll get another place for next year. You?”

“Was thinking the same. Bo will probably stay too. Are we a bunch of idiots for staying anyway? A baby is going to drive us all crazy. Can you imagine trying to do homework or sleep?”

“We can handle three months of it, I think. Unless...” I trail off with my sudden thought.

“What?”

“The Kennedy boys stay off campus, right? Wonder if they have extra rooms they'd want to rent out?”

Grant seems to think about it. “I could find out. Worse comes to worse, we could talk Bo into moving out with us and us getting a place together. Neil did say his parents would help.”

“I really don't want to live with a baby, so let's work on this over break.”

He nods. “What's the story with Maddie? She hasn't been around lately, which neither has Lucy, but I figured Maddie would since you were helping her study,” he says after a lull of silence.

I sigh. “I don't really want to talk about it.”

“Okay, well, let me know if you do. Or if you want, maybe you could talk to Lucy and she could try to talk to Maddie as her friend.”

“Thanks. We'll see how things go over break. We should put the beer away. It is game day after all.”

I THINK THE beer might have fueled the three of us. We're on fire tonight, lighting the lamp every chance we get, leaving the other team with zero hope of winning tonight. Neil seems to be floating on air, something he's been lacking lately, and I faintly wonder if it's because he's told us about the baby. He's been dominating the ice, so whatever happened, I'm thankful for it. Hopefully, it'll still be here once we return from break.

The door to the locker room opens, all of us in various stages of undressing and a bit rowdy from the win, but it's silent when the door swings closed with a thud. A few of us glance and then we're all looking. There's a pretty, pregnant girl standing just inside the locker room. This must be Audra.

“Neil?” Her eyes scan the room until they land on him. He was facing his locker, not paying attention to anyone else, but he swivels fast when he hears her. Neil looks mildly surprised. “I...Can I talk to you outside for a second?”

“Yeah, babe,” he says easily, walking towards her. Neil is halfway to the nervous girl who's rubbing her stomach when he realizes we're all watching him and her. He faces the room. “Seriously? Stop staring. She's a girl, not an alien.” Neil turns to her again, about to usher her out of the room.

“Sorry, Neil. I guess I should have waited until later,” she says, realizing that we're still watching them. How could they not? Neil's girlfriend is pregnant! No one even knew she existed until last month and the girl looks like she's been pregnant longer than that, so of course they are all staring at her.

“No, it's fine. C'mon.”

They disappear onto the other side of the door, and we all exchange glances. Bo, Grant, and I are the only ones who don't seem surprised because we all knew.

“Woah,” Vincent speaks first. “Why hasn't he said anything?” he asks Bo.

“I don't know.”

Neil reenters the room with a smile, but it goes slack when he sees we're very much the same as before. “Might as well get this over with, huh?” Everyone nods. “That's Audra. She's my girlfriend. In case you weren't staring at her long enough earlier to notice, she's pregnant and having a girl. That cover everything?”

They nod again and that's that. With the fall semester officially over, everyone is ready to get out of here. I am too, and on the way to my car, I try calling Dave, but he doesn't answer. I leave a voicemail anyway.

“Hey, I need to talk to you about Maddie. Call me back.”

Something tells me I'll be leaving lots of voicemails until he answers or until I think of a better way to force him to talk to me.

AUDRA SHOWING UP last night wasn't exactly how I planned on telling the rest of the team, but it worked out fine. It was a day when she had a night class, so she was already on campus and decided to go to the game after she finished her final. With the snow and all, she decided to wait for me, so I could follow her home. She was tired of waiting though and was on the brink of leaving already since she wanted to stop by the store too. She wanted to see me though, so she barged right on into the locker room.

Now, I'm sitting in her living room while she's getting ready for work. My phone rings and it looks like I'll be asking my parents today. I wasn't planning on calling them until tomorrow.

“Hey, Mom. How are you and Dad?” I say once I answer.

“Good. You and Audra?” she asks.

“We're fine.”

“That's great. I wanted to call and check in since the semester is over. How did you do in your classes?”

“Pretty good. I think I did well on my finals too. I'm glad you called.” I take a deep breath, knowing this could go either way. “I wanted to see if you and Dad would like to have dinner with us and her parents? Then you can meet her. I've been wanting to talk to you and Dad anyway.”

Mom's pause of silence tells me most of what I need to know. “Neil, you know your father. He still hasn't gotten over what happened.”

I clench my jaw. “That's why I want to see you both. I want to apologize for the things I did and said.”

“I can try talking to him,” she offers, but it's not good enough.

“Mom, do more than try. I don't know what y'all want from me. All I can do is say sorry.” After a calming breath, I quietly speak so Audra won't hear me talking. “The first person close to me in my entire life to die was Candace. Your parents and Dad's parents either died before I was born or while I was really little. I don't remember them. So yeah, it was fucking hard to deal with when I lost her. I didn't know how to cope and my method was a shitty one, but I did the best I could, Mom.

“I know it's not a good excuse for being stupid and saying crap to y'all, but you have to get over it at some point. I'm going to be a dad soon. If my baby girl ever did like I did, am I supposed to be civil towards her? Like she's not even my kid anymore?” My throat gets even tighter. “Don't you want to be a part of her life? How can you do that if you are barely a part of mine? I don't know what else to say.”

She sniffs, but if she's crying, I don't feel bad about it. I need her to care. “I know, son, and I get it, I do. It was hard for us to see you go through that, but I think it was even harder to see you turn to them instead of us. Don't take it the wrong way, Neil. I was happy that you were healing, but I think we both sort of left the other behind. You see them every week and we're lucky to hear from you once a month if that. They've met her, haven't they?”

Seriously? She's jealous of the Lanier's? It bothers me and pisses me off at the same time. “They lost their daughter! They are like family to me and always have been. Of course I go see them. Not to mention Alice. I couldn't stop going when she was expecting to see me. I can't believe that's even something you're saying. Y'all were ready to abandon me when I told you she was pregnant. Don't act like this is all my fault. You were pissed and didn't want to help at all. Why wouldn't I turn to them, Mom? What did y'all do to even show support for Candace and me? You know what, fuck it. I'll come up with an excuse to get you out of it. Why don't you go ahead and cut me out of your lives completely and let me know what I need to do to own the house.”

“Neil?”

I look over my shoulder at hearing Audra's voice. The look on her face tells me she's heard more than a fair share. “I gotta go,” I interrupt my mom and hang up. Audra comes over and sits sideways in my lap, wrapping her arms tightly around neck. “Don't say anything, babe,” I whisper into her hair. “Don't say anything yet.” I let her comfort me, waiting to see exactly what she is going to say. My hand runs up her back, into her hair, and then I find myself hugging her back. “Thank you.”

“You're going to have to help me get up, you know. I hate to leave, but if I don't, I'll be late.”

“We don't want that,” I tell her, pulling away so I can kiss her. “We can talk later and I'll tell you the full story.” Audra nods, satisfied for now, and I help her stand. “Did you pack your things, so you can come to my place afterwards?”

“Yes, my bag is on the bed if you'll carry it over for me. Make sure you lock my doors and turn off all the lights and-”

“I know what to do, babe.”

She smiles and kisses my cheek. “Right. Sorry. I'll see you later then.”

Once she's gone, my shoulders sag as I sigh. I swear. My life seems to unravel even more in some areas and come closer together in others, and it's happening all at the same time. Instead of getting right to cleaning, I go crawl back into bed and sleep for a bit.

AFTER CLEANING UP both our places, I feel like I could use another nap. However, I still have laundry to do. Audra should be here any minute, and she's going to want me to talk, which is fine. I really want to relax for a bit, so hopefully, she does too. Just as I'm about to sit down on the couch, there's a knock at the door. Surely, Audra wouldn't knock. This is her place now too, even though she hasn't moved in yet.

“Mom? What are you doing here?”

She's standing at my door, hugging her coat tighter, trying to stay warm. I don't want her here. Not now, especially since Audra just pulled up. Mom glances over her shoulder, but faces me again.