Blush (Rockstar #2) (10 page)

“They gave her something just before we left so she should be good for four to six hours. The doc also gave her these,“ Xander tells me, holding out a prescription bottle.

I whistle. “Heavy stuff, “ I tease. Tylenol with codeine is not heavy stuff but for Lucy it is.

“She broke these two bones.“ Sera shows me on her own hand as Lucy rests her head on my shoulder, her breath wafting across my neck. It's such a welcome sensation that my heart beats faster and hurts a little. I hate that she's hurting like she is and it's because of me.

I nod to Sera.

“They had to kind of maneuver one of the bones a little to set it straight so her hand is a bit numb now too.“

“Okay. Let's brush your teeth before you go to sleep, baby.“ I know how obsessive she is about her oral hygiene. Brushing three times a day and flossing every morning. The woman is something else.

“Mhmm,“ she murmurs. “I don't like icky teeth.“

Kennedy snickers.

“Shush up,“ she tells him with a slur and a giggle.

“God, she's cute,“ he admires.

I nod and head toward the bathroom. There's not a whole lot of room to maneuver so I set her on the small counter space by the sink. Sera comes in with Lucy's toothbrush and toothpaste.

“Thanks.“

She nods, lips in a firm line. It must be the way their family physically expresses disapproval without hitting someone. I know she's holding back. Ben coaxes her into the other room and I hear him talking to her. More than once my name is mentioned and harsh whispers filter into the bathroom. Xander closes the door, arms crossed over his chest.

“On-
ey
,“ Lucy sings around the toothbrush. I smirk.

“Spit, babe,“ I instruct.

“Spitters are quitters,“ she tells me around a mouth of toothpaste and I can't help it. I laugh loud and hard.

“That they are, but not when it's toothpaste.“

She nods and spits.

Xander's behind us, leaning against the door, laughing so hard tears are streaming down his cheeks. He's bent over at the waist, gasping for air.

Lucy cocks her head to the side. “What's going on Xan my man?“

He gasps for air. “Just laughing, Luce my goose.“

What the fuck?
What the fuck is that “my“ shit? And little nicknames. I frown. I want to growl, but I don't.

“Turn that frown upside down, Jesse my bestie.“

Aw hell. Well that sure made up for it all, didn't it?

“You did it for me, Wife my life.“

“Aww, that's so sweet,“ she slurs, then pats my cheek. “It's just too bad you don't really mean it.“

I meet Xander's eyes in the mirror and he frowns.

“Rinse, Cupcake.“

She swishes and spits. “Look, I'm a quitter again,“ she giggles.

I smirk, trying hard to put the awkward moment behind us as easily as she did—for now.

“I'm so sleepy, Jesse,“ she murmurs, pressing her head against my chest.

“I know, baby. Let's get you ready for Sleepyland.“

“I like Sleepyland,“ she whispers.

Xander hands her pajamas to me and exits the bathroom.

“Let's get you changed.“

She nods, her forehead still against my chest. I grin.

“Lift up, baby.“

She sits back, her eyes still closed, and she lifts her arms over her head. I take off her top then her bra. I take off her shoes then stand her up. I slide down her shorts, her nylons, then her panties. She needs a shower. She'd been sweating like crazy.

“We need to get you in the shower, but let's take this junk off your eyes first.“

She snorts. “You might need Sera to come help with the eyelashes.“

“Okay. Let me yell for her.“

“M'kay.“ She leans into me again. I open the door a crack.

“Sera?“

She's there in two seconds. “What's wrong?“

“Nothing,“ I tell her as she closes the door behind her.

“Eyelashes,“ Lucy slurs, nearly bonking herself in the face with her cast. “You know something,“ she begins, her eyes opening, “my hand really fucking hurts.“

Sera lets loose a laugh. “Well, sister of mine, it
is
broken.“

She grimaces and her gaze meets mine. “I can't deal with this tonight and I don't know if I'll even be able to tomorrow, but we
will
deal with this. I won't stand for what happened tonight. I deserve better than that. I'm going to say this now to give you time to figure out your answer and do
not
answer now.“

I nod and swallow hard. This isn't going to be good.

“You need to think about whether or not we should annul this marriage or get divorced because honestly, Jesse, I'm not sure you're all-in like you said you were.“

Sera sucks in a breath.

I start to say something and Lucy cuts me off with a glance. “No. Not right now. You take this time to think about what you really want deep down. Not what looks right, not what feels right, not what you want but what you
need
. You. Not me. Don't factor my feelings into this at all. I know. I see the look on your face already but you need to do it. Think about this as if you're single. Would we have gotten married if we hadn't been drunk in Vegas? Think about that and let me know your answer when I ask again, when I can function enough to remember to ask again.“

I nod. What can I say? Nothing. She's given me no choice but to stay quiet and not tell her that, yeah, she is what I need. Being married to her is one of the best things I've ever done, but that's not what she wants to hear or what she wants me to think about. She wants me to pretend I'm single. She wants me to think of the “before“. It seems so long ago now that I turned that corner and saw her up on that faux stage singing her heart out. Would I do the same thing again? Pursue her past the weekend we agreed to?

I don't even have to take a second to answer that. Absofuckinglutely I would. She's
it
for me. I know it deep down all the way to my soul. I just need to convince her of it.

Sera gives me a look. “She's all set.“

“Thanks.“

She nods and pats my shoulder.

Fuck all these fuckers and their pity shoulder pats. I don't need pity. I just need Lucy and I am motherfucking going to prove that to her. I'm going to give her everything she needs. No, not monetarily—emotionally. Not just words, but actions.

I strip off my shirt when there's a soft knock at the door.

“Yeah,“ I say, opening it a crack. It's Sera.

“I brought you some clothes.“

I smile at her gratefully and she smiles back. “Thanks, Sera.“

“No problem,
bro
.“

My smile turns into a full-fledged grin now. She winks and closes the door. She knows what my answer to Lucy's going to be as well as I do. The only one who isn't sure of it is Lucy. I'll do everything I can to reassure her, I think as I strip off my boots and clothes.

I turn the water on and adjust the temperature.

“Come on, wife, let's get you cleaned up.“

She eyes me warily at my use of the word “wife“ but I don't give a fuck. I won't let her give up. I'm not giving up. I fucked up. Again. I know it. Now's not the time for that. Now's the time to take care of the wonderful woman in my arms. I lift her up and step under the spray, closing the door behind us.

“Mmm,“ she purrs as the water pours over her.

“Hold your cast out and I'll wash you up.“

She nods. Even waterproof has to dry and the last thing she needs to deal with is being uncomfortable. She needs to sleep.

I tip her head back gently under the spray then reach for her shampoo. I lather up her hair and she moans. “God, that feels so good. My hair was sweat plastered to my scalp and it's now dried on and it's so gross.“

I chuckle. “Not anymore,“ I tell her as I rinse out the suds.

“Thank God.“

“How much of this conditioner?“

“Twice that. Yeah, perfect,“ she tells me as I close the cap on the bottle.

“I don't need that on my scalp, just the loose strands.“

“Got it.“ I work the conditioner through her hair, threading my fingers through her wet hair, stray strands of hair collecting on my fingers.

“You're shedding.“

She snorts. “I always do. It just seems like a lot because the strands are so long.“

“You've been taking your vitamins and supplements regularly?“ I ask and she looks at me questioningly.

“What?“ I ask. “I pay attention. I like to make sure you have what you need, especially out on the road.“

She nods, bottom lip quivering.

“Lucy, don't. Please.“

The first tear slips down her cheek. Then the second, third, fourth, and then it's a never-ending stream. I pull her to me.

“I'm so sorry, Lucy. I love you so much. Please don't cry.“

“You hurt me,“ she whispers. “You let them touch you, Jesse.
God
.“

“Lucy, I didn't even notice.“

She snorts. “Well your dick sure did.“

I put a finger beneath her chin and tilt her head back to look at me. “It didn't. Any of the guys can vouch for me. I'd been hard since I saw you up on that stage. Do you know how fucking incredible you looked up there? How fucking kick ass you were tonight? All of you?“ I shake my head, still in awe of them. “It was like you'd been playing together for years. And the way you worked that stage? Fuck, Luce. I was hard the minute you shouted your greeting to Portland. You belong up there. You own it.“

“Really?“

“Really.“

“You don't even know which part I meant.“

“I meant all of it. But which one did you mean,“ I ask when she gives me the look.

“She didn't do that to you? It was me?“

I blow out a breath and rest my forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. “Only you, Lucy. Never anyone else. Ever. No one can do that to me anymore. Just you.“

She eyes me skeptically.

“You can test me. Parade a line of bimbos in front of me naked. My dick won't work. It never did for them unless I wanted it to. I have better control than that, baby.“

“If you rub a cock long enough it gets hard.“

I shrug a shoulder. “That's true. But I was already wanting you so whatever she did, I didn't feel.“

“Why did you let her?“

“I didn't mean to. I'm just so used to that behavior that it doesn't even register to me anymore. I know we're a unit now and I'm sorry I wasn't paying better attention to things. I just wanted to do the autographs and get them the fuck out of there so I could get you alone and worship your body with mine. Because I do. Worship you. Love you. Need you. Want you.“

Her eyes close briefly and I wait for them to open.

“You own me, baby. You. Only you. You're my heart. Please believe that. Deep down in your soul I know you feel it. Let your brain believe it.“

More tears slide down her cheeks and she nods. She presses a soft lingering kiss to my lips. “We still have more to talk about. We both have issues, but I'm too tired tonight and the water's getting cold.“

I chuckle. “Okay. Let's finish up in here and get some sleep.“

She nods, tilting her head back as I rinse her hair.

Her eyes open and meet mine. Her lip quivers again. “I love you, Jesse. So much it hurts sometimes.“

“Ditto, baby. Everything you feel, remember I'm feeling the same thing.“

A small smile pulls at the corners of her lips.

“Remember that.“

“'Kay.“

We made some progress but there is so much more to work through. So much more. We'll get there. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her. Nothing. That and our love will get us through this.

“The great thing about new friends i
s that they bring new energy to your soul.“

—SHANNA RODRIGUEZ

MY HAND IS killing me. I groan aloud and Jesse stirs next to me.

“You in pain, baby?“

“Unh,“ is all I can manage.

“Aww, let me get you some water so you can take some more meds,“ Jesse tells me, slipping out from beneath the covers. There's a sliver of light filtering through a crack in the blackout shades in this back bedroom. I roll onto my back wondering what time it is. I suppose today it doesn't matter since we don't have a show.

I raise my hand above heart level to help with the swelling of my fingers that still look like plump, red sausages only now they are so freaking fat and swollen, the skin itches.

Jesse comes back with a bottled water and a fresh ice pack.

“I called your parents and let them know you were alright and resting,“ he tells me.

“Thanks. I'm sure they were worried.“

“Mhmm. I called earlier when I woke up. Your mom said to listen to me and follow the doctor's instructions.“

He gives me a knowing look when I snort.

“Jesse,“ I whine. “I've got snausage fingers.“ He laughs. “Snausages? Aren't those dog treats?“

“I think so but it sounds cuter than big-fat-swollen-sausage-looking-fingers.“

“That's true,“ he agrees, handing me two pain pills. “The instructions from the doc said you can alternate with ibuprofen so we'll do that in a couple hours—get you on that schedule.“

I nod. “Good. I'm so glad we don't have a show today.“

“Yeah, not sure how you'd be able to make it through. Honestly, I'm not sure how you'll make it through tomorrow.“

“I have to sing, not do manual labor. I can hold my mic in my left hand and I'll just wave my cast around in the air to keep it elevated above my heart.“

“You do that anyway.“

“See? It'll be easy then.“

“You're likely going to be stoned from these pain meds. Be sure you don't wear high heels. I can talk to Spenser for you.“

I murmur my agreement. “What bus is he on?“

“Roadies again. I think he's got a thing for Alex,“ Jesse says, shifting uncomfortably.

“Well, that'll take his attention off of you.“

He perks up. “Yeah, it will.“

I snort. “You sounded like Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. just then.
Yeah
, it will.“ He gives me a look.

“I'm not even Italian.“

“It's okay, babe. I won't hold it against you.“

“Thanks,“ Jesse murmurs dryly.

I shrug. Facts are facts. Not being Italian is going to be a huge strike against Jesse when he comes face-to-face with my grandpa.

“We're going to be stopping soon. Everyone decided we'd stop when you woke up and I sent a text out when I went to get your water.“ Jesse takes a seat next to me and brushes some of my hair off of my face. “Are you hungry?“

I shrug. “I could eat. I hope we stop at a truck stop. They have the best food. Seriously.“

“How do you know that?“

I roll my eyes. “I didn't fly everywhere I had to film, you know, and even when I did I made a point to go to the truck stops. Always the best burgers, fries, and shakes.“

He nodded. “We can do that.“ He sends a text and less than a minute later he gets one in return. “Done deal.“

“Good.“ I try to sit up and nearly use my right hand. That would be a nightmare. Jesse helps me. I sigh.

“What's wrong?“

I hate this. I close my eyes. “I'm going to need you to help me get dressed.“

“Well that'll be a departure from the norm, won't it?“ Xander says from the doorway.

I snort. “What's up?“

“Just checking on you.“

“The pain is a bitch but in a few minutes the meds should kick in and I'll be happy again,“ I tell him with a shrug.

Jesse picks through my clothing and finds a pair of my yoga pants, a Blush tank, and a Falling Down sweatshirt. My husband is awesome. He knows without being told I want comfort over fashion.

“Socks?“

I nod.

He finds a pair and digs out a pair of black Chucks.

“Um, not those shoes. Those white canvas ones over there,“ I tell him pointing.

“These?“ he asks, picking up the wrong pair.

“Next one over. Yep, those.“

“Okay. Xander get the fuck out. You're not seeing my wife naked.“

“Well, fuck. Here I thought you'd be too distracted to notice I was still here,“ Xander pouts.

“Not likely. My woman. Beat it.“

“Rude, man. Rude,“ Xander murmurs, giving me a wink before Jesse shut the door in his face.

“I'll give him rude.“

“Only if it's gentle and loving up the ass,“ Xander shouts through the door.

“Xander!“ I scold.

“What?“

“Stop trying to peek through the crack and let me get dressed.“

“God damn. I can't get away with anything this morning. Good thing I have my tunes to make me feel better.“

I snort. A few seconds later we hear him sing, “I hopped off the plane at LAX…“

“No!“ I say to Jesse in disbelief.

He chuckles. “Yep.“

“Get the fuck out! Is he serious right now? Miley?“

“Cupcake, you're going to find out that Xander's music on his phone is…let's just call it
different
.“ Jesse motions for me to lift my arms up and I do, carefully.

“So I see.“ I know my eyes are wide but I can't believe it.

“What is it?“ Jesse asks, lifting my top off.

“I'm just seeing an entirely different side of Xander. One I never would have thought existed.“

He nods, reaching for my bras. “Which?“ he asks, holding up a black lace and white sports bra.

“White. It's all about comfort if I don't have to wear anything else.“

He nods and helps me into the rest of my clothes. He's tying my shoes when the bus slows, taking the ramp off the highway.

“Can you put my hair up in a ponytail?“

“Uh,“ he eyes me skeptically. “I can try.“

“It's really pretty easy. Just grab that brush there and brush out my hair. Make a ponytail in your hand, then wrap this elastic around it a few times until it's tight.“

He shrugs. “Seems simple enough.“

I grin. His words say one thing the expression on his face tells me something completely different.

“Like a virgin,“ Xander sings from the other side of the door.

I lift a brow at Jesse who just shakes his head. He does a decent job on the ponytail. I point at the hat sitting on the shelf.

“Just tuck the pony in the hole,“ I tell him, then giggle.

“And she's feeling better,“ Jesse says aloud.

I snort. “It sounded dirty.“

He grins. “It did. You're really fucking sexy when you talk dirty.“

I suck in a breath as I meet his molten gaze. An aroused Jesse is temptation I love giving in to.

“No time.“

I groan and pout at his statement.

“Cupcake, you're not really up for it right now anyway. The minute you exert yourself at all, the blood is going to get flowing and your hand is going to start throbbing.“ He kisses my nose.

I sigh. “Maybe. I could just lay there and you could do all the work.“

He grins wryly. “Uh-huh. We tried that once. You don't do passive in bed, baby.“

“I could try.“

He stares into my eyes, looking deep and I wonder what he sees.

“We still need to talk, Luce.“

I nod. “I know. Just not right now, okay?“

He nods. “But today. I don't want to have anything bad hanging over us. It'll only get worse if we ignore it.“

I lean into his chest and wrap my arm around him. “When did you get so smart?“

He shrugs. “I guess you must be rubbing off on me.“

I giggle and snort and he chuckles.

“Such a naughty girl,“ he laughs and spanks my ass. I gasp and my gaze flies up to meet his.

“No fair. You're going to make me wet.“

It's his turn to suck in a breath. “Baby, if I make you wet and worked up, you know I'll take care of you. You'll come at least twice.“

“Jesse,“ I whisper.

He slides a hand between us, down the front of my pants, beneath my panties, and delves a finger into my slick folds. He slips it further back toward my entrance and groans softly when he finds me already wet.

I reach down with my good hand and find him already hard.

“After we eat, we're going to fuck. You're going to let me do all the work so you don't hurt yourself and I'm going to make you come on my tongue and on my cock.“

I suck in a breath as does someone behind me. I turn to find Sera standing there, her eyes wide, mouth open.

“Well then. I know I'll be riding on the other bus later or having Xander turn the music up.“

I snort, noticing Jesse's hand is still in my pants.

“We're ready,“ Sera tells us.

I nod. “Okies. I'm hungry.“

She nods and leaves the room. Jesse pulls his hand from between my thighs and licks his fingers. Jesus. He's so damn sexy I can't help but get wetter just watching him.

He leans down, his mouth hovering over my ear. “I'm going to fuck you so good, baby.“

“I have no doubt.“

He nods then picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, arms around his neck and give him a look of confusion. He shrugs.

“These pills say they can make you dizzy so it's better to be safe than sorry.“

I put my hands, well, hand and cast on either side of his face and kiss him softly.

“We better go.“

I nod. My stomach growls and I grin.

“Greasy cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate malt. Heaven for my tummy,“ I tell Jesse as we head through the bus to meet the rest of the crew.

“Anything you want, babe.“

“Yeah?“ I ask.

He nods.

“I'll hold you to that.“

“You do that,“ he tells me with a wink.

“Xan my man,“ I sing-song.

“Luce my goose.“

“That's fucked. I want a nickname,“ Meggie complains.

“Meggie beggie.“ I snort.

“I don't think so,“ she tells me.

“Meggie… Meggie… uh. I'll think on it,“ Xander says stumped. I shrug. No clue.

“Serafina has a weinah,“ Jace chants which gets him a punch in the arm.

“Jace often gets sprayed with mace,“ Sera snickers.

“Likely true,“ Trace adds.

“Uh,“ Sera begins, “you know that Trace, Jace, and mace all rhyme, right?“

“Sugar, no one maces Trace. And my rhyme would be something like Styx brings you to heaven with his licks.“

“Please,“ Meggie rolls her eyes and Trace chuckles.

“Are we back in grade school?“ Ben asks.

“You want to be my teacher?“ Sera wiggles her eyebrows, rubbing up against Ben seductively.

Instead of playing like they always do, he pulls her up to his chest and stops moving. He leans forward, his lips nearly touching hers but not quite. Sera's gasp is audible.

“I'll teach you anything you want, darlin'. Anytime you're ready.“

I know my mouth is hanging open when Jesse reaches up with one finger to lift my jaw closed.

“That was so fucking hot,“ Meggie sighs. “I'm a little wet.“

I laugh out loud.

“From just that?“ Trace tsks. “Megs, I think me and you need some alone time. I'll help you with your wetness.“

“Mmm, you're the whole package, aren't ya, Trace? Tall, good looking, eyes the color of emeralds, sweet, sexy, and I think we'll have to meet up later to see if the rest of the ‘package' is as good as I think it is.“