Blood of the Rainbow (10 page)

Sara was fighting to control her temper. She felt cornered. “No, not yet….”

 “
Have you even looked?
” Kaye’s voice was mocking.

“No - not yet.”

“
Sara, you need to get a job and help your Aunt pay some bills – pull your own weight, instead of sitting on your butt, and expecting her to do everything.
”

Sara tightened her jawline, speaking through clenched teeth. “Mom… I’m not going to
sit
on my butt – honestly! Give me a little credit – I’m
not
a child anymore.”

“
You might look like an adult but deep down you’re a little girl, one that can easily be taken advantage of. You just better be careful young lady. I’m not having a bunch of your little bastards running around my house. If you get yourself in trouble, you’re on your own – do you understand me?
”

Sara sighed, trying to hold on to the last few strands of her frayed nerves. Kaye’s voice was starting to sound like long fingernails, dragged down a blackboard. Sara was rapidly losing the battle. “Mom, I already told you, I’m
not
sleeping with Jared.”
Not that I would turn him down.

“
You might not be now, but if you do… you better get yourself some kind of protection Sara
.”

Sara sighed, exasperated. “I’m hanging up now Mom! I thought we could have an
adult
conversation about this, but obviously I was wrong.”

“
Don’t you smart mouth me little girl. I’m your mother, and you will respect me, whether you’re under my roof or not and further more….
”

That was it. Sara couldn’t take anymore. After the way last night had ended, Sara wasn’t in the mood for this. “Bye Mom. I love you.” She ended the call in the middle of Kaye’s comment. Sara was so upset, she switched off her cell. She knew she would get it in the neck, but she couldn’t deal with it right now. She was still confused at how Jared’s mood changed so suddenly,
after
she’d put her foot in her mouth yesterday.

Sara went to her room, turned on some music, lit some incense, and took out the diary. She lay across the bed on her stomach, with her feet dangling in the air behind her. She used the key Jared had given her, and opened the lock on the diary.

Inside the cover, on what should have been a blank page, Jared had scribbled all kinds of intricate designs and abstract art there. Sara turned to the first entry, and started reading. She looked for a date but couldn’t find one. Quickly flicking through the other pages, she found there were no dates on any of the entries. Sara thought that was a little odd.

Due to Jared’s immaculate penmanship, Sara could easily read his words. His phrasing was so well articulated that it was more like reading a novel or autobiography, than a diary. As she began reading, Sara felt another pang of guilt – these were private thoughts – his thoughts.

Entry One, girl is around 10 years old:

‘Well, until last night, I thought Granddad’s silly stories were just that, stories. I woke up this morning, more cheerful than usual. I can’t understand why, but I had a feeling it had something to do with my conversation with Granddad, and a very vivid dream I had last night about a stranger, a pretty girl.

I’m not sure whether Granddad’s story is what provided the paint for my elaborate dream, I suppose it could have. Granddad has always told me the legends about how our tribal leaders are supposed to dream about their perfect match. Then it’s our duty to find this person in the world of the waking. When we do, we’ll know them.

I really hadn’t believed him, and I’m not sure I do now, but I certainly had a dream last night about the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. She had long, silky brown hair that hung almost to her waist and deep golden brown eyes that reflected the sun. She couldn’t have been more than ten years old. Her long hair had been done up in two ponytails with red silk ribbons tied on both of them.

I was standing on the side of a cliff, looking out across the horizon when all of a sudden this girl appeared right beside me, about the same age as me, maybe five or six years younger. I asked her where she came from, and she said, “From your destiny.” I asked her why she was here, and she said, “Because I’m for you.” She must have been about ten or eleven years old.

We sat on the rock and talked for hours. Although she was a total stranger to me, I found it easy to talk to her. I felt as if I could tell her everything. She told me how she’d be waiting for me to find her and when I found her, she would be free.

I can’t explain the feeling I got sitting and talking with her. It was like talking with someone you’ve known for years. It was so easy.

I spoke to Granddad about my dream and about her, and he said what visited my dream was her inner spirit. The part of her that was eternal and knew no boundaries. I explained how, at first she was a little girl, about ten years old and then she changed to someone closer to my age. He said that was because she was coming to me from my future.

He said, in my future, she already knew about me. She also knew exactly when and where I would find her. He said, because I hadn’t met her yet, her inner spirit was bound to her body and through her dreams was the only way she could communicate with me.

He said, the girl herself, didn’t know any of this because our inner spirits, aren’t allowed to reveal future events to its physical self. We’re only allowed to share that information with others connected and concerned with the event. He also said, she probably would never tell me her name – she wasn’t supposed to.

When I told him she didn’t appear to be one of our people, he said that was why she was so eager to reveal things in my dreams, because she probably couldn’t see the visions as I did, unless she had the gene from our people. He said because I was not able to affect her dreams as she did mine, should I choose a different direction; I could not alert her so that she would no longer feel the need to communicate with me in my dreams. Because I was pure Navajo, and of royal blood, I alone possessed the power to end my visions if I willed it. If I chose another mate, I could stop her from visiting my dreams. I would never do that! I don’t want another mate. I want her! No one else!

I guess I’ll just have to be content to wait for her to visit my dreams instead of me being able to visit hers. I’m not sure I believe the stories he told me, but if they are true and she does exist somewhere other than in my dreams, and if she’s out there waiting for me to find her, I will find her. If it takes the rest of my life and I have to follow her to the ends of the Earth, I will find her. I’ve never felt so strongly compelled about anything before. I know this is something I have to do – no matter what!’

Entry Two, Second Dream. The girl is about 13 years old:

‘It’s been a few years since I dreamed of the girl. I wasn’t really expecting to ever dream of her again, but last night, I did. She now looks to be around twelve or thirteen, and she’s at some kind of party, maybe her birthday party. She’s opening gifts and eating cake, and she seems happy. I’m glad for that. I want her to be happy – even if it’s without me.

She seems to be able to bring me in her dreams as both a contributor and an observer. I’m watching her now. I don’t think she knows I’m here because she hasn’t acknowledged me yet.

A lady, perhaps a sister or an Aunt has given her a guitar as a present. She must have wanted it badly. If I could have been with her, I would have given it to her long ago, if I knew she wanted one. I would give her the moon if she asked for it.

She’s looked up and seen that I’m here. She’s walked away from her friends and family, and now she’s moving toward me. She’s smiling.

“It’s so good to see you again,” she said, hugging me. “I’ve missed you.” She gave me a strange look. “You haven’t been thinking about me lately, have you? You’ve been thinking about someone else, another girl named Eve.” Why, I don’t know, but I felt bad, almost guilty as if I’d cheated on her.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I thought you were just a silly dream brought on by my Granddad’s old stories.”

She smiled and held up her hand. “It’s all right. I don’t mind. You’re older. Your life is moving at a faster pace, our paths have not crossed in the waking world. I don’t expect you to devote yourself to a dream. You shouldn’t feel guilty for loving someone, anyone. I know it’s just temporary, and if you change your mind about me, you will let me know. I don’t expect you to think of nothing but me. Live your life. Enjoy yourself; I know you will find me when the time is right. I’ve got a few more years of growing to do.

I was eager to know. “When will you come to me again?” I asked.

She smiled. “Oh, I’ll be around. Unless you start thinking about me, or you need me, I probably won’t bother you again until there’s an important event in my life. Maybe on my sixteenth birthday. Would you like to share that with me as you have my thirteenth birthday?”

“Yes, I would,” I said. “I would rather have you with me all the time. It’s lonely without you.”

“Then I’ll spend my sweet sixteenth birthday with you. I’ve gotta go now.”

“What? No! Wait! Must you go so soon? You’ve just got here. What’s your name? The last time you visited me, you didn’t tell me your name.”

She sighed, “No,” she said. “I’m not allowed to tell you that, nor are you allowed to tell me yours. We will know that, only when we meet in the waking world.”

Mist started to gather around us. She blew me a kiss. I blinked, and she was gone.

This is driving me nuts. Here am I, ready to ask Eve to be my wife, and now this. Perfect timing, dreamgirl. This is going beyond ridiculous. They’re nothing but old stories! They’re just dreams. Why can’t I get her off my mind? I’m not going to be guided by a figment of my imagination. I know what I want. I want Eve, and I’m going to marry her too. The girl in my dreams is probably her, although I don’t understand why her hair is dark in my dreams, and Eve’s is golden.’

Those last few words hurt Sara. She realized how close Jared came to choosing someone else. What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? Did she have the right to try and fill somebody else’s shoes? Someone by fate that Jared was destined to spend his life with?

Entry Three. The girl is 16 years old:

‘I know the girl in my dreams is not just a figment of my imagination. She said she would come to me again when she was sixteen, and I have counted off the years, and they match. I also know she spoke truthfully when she said Eve was temporary. I asked her to marry me, and she said no. I offered to move back to Australia with her, but she said she didn’t want to get serious. I can’t take this anymore. I’m so confused. I have to find a way to end this pain. I’m leaving in the morning. I can’t stand this ache. Does no one love me? Is there no one out there for me?

That was the last thing on my mind as I closed my eyes. It was nice to sleep out under the open sky. I didn’t even bother trying to find a hotel. I didn’t want to be around people. Almost immediately, as sleep took me away, she was there, answering the question for me.

“Yes, someone loves you. I do and I always will. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You knew she was only going to be with you for a while – I told you that. Don’t you remember? You know she’s not right for you.”

“You’re back!” I exclaimed. I was so glad to see her. I hugged her and held her in my arms, and before I realized what I was doing, I kissed her. I didn’t really expect to be able to feel her but I did. Her lips were warm and moist, real. Her body was warm and solid against mine. She kissed me back.

“I thought I’d lost you,” I said.

She shook her head and smiled, “Never! As long as this body breathes, I’m yours. And even when life no longer lives on this plane, I will still love you and wait for you to join me, should I go first. I will never leave you unless you tell me to go. You’re closer to me now. Look for Cross Lake. Follow the green and purple tunnel. Go there and wait for me. I still have a few more years before I’m with you. Please, try and be patient. I’m as anxious to be with you as you are to be with me.”

“How old are you?”

She laughed, “Don’t you believe anything I tell you? Think about when I said I would visit you again. Don’t be deceived. Others will cloud your path as they have before. The closer you get to me, the fewer clues I’m allowed to give you. Everything must be done according to your choosing.” She started to pull away from me and I could feel her fading.

“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?” I said. She nodded her head and started to cry. “I wish I could be with you now,” I said, trying to hold on to her but she was losing tangibility.

“I know. I wish I could be with you now too. Don’t be troubled. What you see is only for now and not for the future. He will not last, just as Eve did not last. We will be together soon. Remember,” she said with a wave goodbye, “Patience is a virtue.” Then she was gone again.’

Entry Four. Not Part of My Dreamgirl – Just an update on my life leading up to what I hope will be to find her.

‘I found the place she told me to, Cross Lake. It took a while but thanks to the Internet, I was successful. At least I hope I have the right one! There were several entries, but knowing how this thing worked, I chose the first one. Shreveport Louisiana.

I’ve applied for a job at the hospital as an Emergency doctor. I made friends with a genetic engineer named Gary Browne. He runs the research department of a place called D’Netics, over near LSU-Med. He’s a freaking genius when it comes to DNA and gene therapy. Someday, that guy is going to make history – I can just feel it.

I spent the next couple of weeks looking for a place to live. I’ve got my eye on a big old plantation house that Gary told me about. It’s kind of out of my reach right now. The darn thing is tied up in some kind of inheritance dispute but the old lady is at death’s door. Maybe it will be up for sale soon. Hopefully her son won’t want the house then. I’ll bide my time and hope. I don’t know why I feel so drawn to this place, but I have a feeling this is where I should be. Maybe it has something to do with her, my dreamgirl. I really miss her.