Authors: Matthew Tomasetti
Tags: #vampire, #urban fantasy, #paranormal romance, #supernatural, #werewolf, #parody, #lycan, #new adult
“Or I can show you around upstairs,” White
Paul offered. “That way you won’t soon forget what a lycan
is.”
Candy ignored him and gave the disgusting
couch a sideways glance, the foul smell of which made her nose
scrunch. She reluctantly took a seat in the empty chair between
Felicia and Jimmy. The redhead beamed at her without an ounce of
sincerity while Melvin unfolded a Dungeon Master’s screen and
propped it up on the table so the paper and dice couldn’t be seen
behind it.
“I don’t,” Candy began, looking around to all
of the eyes that went her way. “I don’t know how to
play.”
“It’s simple,” Felicia said. “You pretend to
be something you’re not. That’s the crux of the game. In your case,
you’ll want to pretend to be anything other than a massive
slut.”
Everyone’s eyes bulged, but none more so than
Candy’s. Her face turned bright red and her bottom lip quivered as
everyone gaped from her to Felicia with their mouths hanging open.
Felicia winced when Candy’s sobs filled the room.
“For fucks sake!” Melvin bellowed. “Didn’t I
just tell you to be civil?”
Felicia tried to put an arm around her crying
guest. “Shit! I didn’t mean it. I was only kidding, Candy. I didn’t
mean it like that.”
Candy shot up from the chair, ran over to the
couch, and threw herself facedown onto it. Everyone could only hang
their heads while she cried into a pillow. The last several hours
had finally caught up with her and Felicia’s remark was icing on
the cake. Candy cried and by God it felt good. She found herself
wanting her mother, and her own bed.
“Hey,” Jimmy said close to her ear. “Why don’t
we go outside and get some fresh air?”
“We can’t play without you,” Felicia
said.
“Then you should have kept your big mouth
shut. Come on, Candy. You’ll feel better with some fresh
air.”
As Jimmy took her out through the sliding
glass door into the back yard, Felicia muttered, “She started it,
the judgmental bitch. Look at how she’s dressed!”
“Just ignore them,” Jimmy said. He slid the
door shut and led Candy around to the side of the house where they
couldn’t be seen or heard.
“I can’t believe I just cried in front of a
bunch of nerds.”
“We’re not nerds,” Jimmy said, and then he
frowned. “Well, okay we’re nerds. But what difference does it make?
You didn’t like what Felicia said about you so why do the same
thing?”
Candy settled her eyes on him. She couldn’t
deny her mixed feelings. She couldn’t refuse that he was handsome
in a dorky way. He was so scrawny, though. He probably couldn’t
stand up to a single guy she had ever dated, going all the way back
to middle school. But he was a werewolf and labels didn’t apply
anymore. They never should have anyway.
“You’re right,” she said. “I deserved it. I’ve
been through so much. I don’t know what to think and nothing makes
sense. And I am dressed like a cheap tramp.”
“I think you look nice.”
Candy smiled for the first time since arriving
at the Kennel.
“You’re so beautiful,” Jimmy said.
Candy leaned back against the house,
remembering the kisses they had shared not so long ago. She grabbed
the bottom of his shirt and pulled him towards her.
“I’ve never dated a werewolf before,” she
said. They both smiled and laughed. Then her smile faded and she
lowered her eyes. “You’re not like the guys I normally date.” She
brushed the bangs away from his eyes. “You’re cute,
but—”
“But?”
“I don’t know,” she said, feeling terrible for
some reason. “Nothing has been right since last night. Since that
asshole bit me.”
“I understand,” Jimmy said, his eyes lowered,
betraying his embarrassment. “I’m not the normal type.”
“It’s not that,” Candy protested. “You’re a
werewolf and . . . never mind.”
“That’s not enough? Then you should know I won
my fourth grade spelling bee. I made honor roll almost every year
in elementary school. I can do long division in my head. I have
good hygiene. I’m funny and I have a sense of humor. I’m kind and
courteous to others. I respect my elders. I’m honest. . .
.”
He seemed to get stuck on the honest
part.
“You are funny,” Candy laughed, drawing a
blush to his cheeks. Something about what he had said caught her
attention, all of those things about school. Once again she found
herself thinking how familiar he looked. She wrapped her arms
around his neck and drew him into a kissing embrace. At least the
start of a kiss; when someone cleared their throat she pushed him
away. Melvin stood at the corner of the house.
“Nice timing,” Jimmy sighed. “You’re worse
than Tinch.”
“You should come inside,” Melvin said.
“Felicia says she’s sorry. We all do. Please come back inside with
us.”
Melvin went back around the side of the house.
Candy moved to follow him but Jimmy took hold of her
arm.
“Wait,” he said “There’s something I need to
tell you, something you need to know.”
Candy smiled. “There’s plenty of time for
that. Come on, I promise this time I won’t be such a
bitch.”
Candy had walked out of her mother’s house the
night before looking for some fun. She ended up with way more than
she bargained for. It could have been worse, she
thought.
She went back into the house Jimmy shared with
his friends thinking she needed to make the best of a situation
that really wasn’t so bad. She took Jimmy at face value when he
spouted off his list of qualities, and these people were his
friends. Considering he saved her life and gave her a safe place to
stay, getting along with his friends was the least she could
do.
Playing nerdy games couldn’t be as bad as the
boredom of her home town. At least she hoped.
Candy took the seat between Felicia and Jimmy
again. Felicia was much more pleasant this time around, though
Candy figured the expression was forced. Considering how she had
acted, Candy couldn’t blame Felicia for what she said earlier. She
could only hope things would go better the second time
around.
Jimmy’s friends had ordered breakfast already,
two large pepperoni pizzas. Candy helped herself to a slice while
Melvin introduced the rest of what he called “the
Misfits.”
“This is White Paul as you know,” he
said.
White Paul grinned and winked before taking a
bite from his pizza. The nickname made Candy curious again (at
least she thought it was a nickname; he was a white guy after all),
but she didn’t want to interrupt the introductions.
“Over here is Medium Dave,” Melvin said,
indicating with his hand the skinny guy with sandy hair and a gaunt
face. Medium Dave didn’t seem to notice he had been introduced. He
was paying way too much attention to picking stuff off his pizza
and setting it on the side of his plate. He looked a little
slow.
“Last but definitely not least,” Melvin said.
The only guy who remained was the one with the shaved head and the
dark, tempting eyes. “This is Were-Jew.”
Candy almost spit out her drink, she coughed
so violently. “Were-Jew? Should I ask what that means?”
“Ask away, sugar,” White Paul said.
“Don’t bother,” Jimmy said. He hadn’t yet
touched his pizza and seemed to be in a foul mood now that he was
back inside with his friends. “You’re not going to like the
answer.”
“What’s not to like?” Felicia said. Both she
and Jimmy glowered at each other.
“Oh, nothing,” Candy said. “It’s just you have
such interesting . . . nicknames.”
“Jimmy’s is the best,” White Paul
said.
Jimmy slammed his hand on the table. “Shut
up!”
Everyone burst into laughter except Candy. And
Jimmy.
Were-Jew offered up an explanation when he was
done laughing. “Unlike those heathen vampires, us shapeshifters can
have a meaningful relationship with God.”
“Oh,” Candy said, supposing it made sense.
“I’m Catholic, are you too?”
Everyone gave her blank stares. “I’m . . .
Jewish.”
Candy blushed, embarrassed at her own dumb
question.
“We should get started,” Melvin said, changing
the subject.
Everyone other than Candy pulled out papers,
pencils, and dice. Medium Dave was placing his strangely shaped
dice on the table in some kind of indiscernible pattern. He picked
each one up and held it close to his eye before setting it back
down again. No one paid him any mind.
Candy hadn’t a clue what to do. She looked to
Jimmy for help and she had to restrain from saying this was the
last way she wanted to spend a Saturday of her summer
vacation.
“Okay,” Jimmy said. He had a sheet of paper
with numbers written in all sorts of boxes and lines. “Candy needs
to make a character.”
“Have her roll up some stats,” Melvin
said.
Jimmy placed three dice in front of her. They
were normal dice like the kind from board games. Then he put a
sheet of paper in front of Candy like the one he had, except there
wasn’t anything penciled into it.
“That’s a character sheet,” he said. “You put
all of your information on it.”
“You mean like when I was born?”
“No. . . . Well, maybe when your character was
born, sure. Here, take the dice. You see the first box on the left
side? That’s your character’s ‘strength’ score. Roll the dice to
see what it is.”
Candy couldn’t make heads or tails of what he
meant so she just did what he said. She picked up the three
six-sided dice and rolled them on the table. They came out 1, 2,
and 1.
“Okay,” Jimmy said when she sat there looking
at the dice. “Write ‘four’ in the box labeled strength.”
Candy did as she was told and noticed several
other boxes with titles like “dexterity” and “constitution.” Jimmy
had her roll the dice for each. When she was done, the six boxes
had the numbers 4, 7, 8, 7, 12, and 16 written in them.
“Well, at least she’s charming,” Felicia
said
Candy frowned and looked over at the other
girl’s character sheet. Her numbers were much bigger.
“Don’t worry. Medium Dave’s character is just
as bad,” Jimmy said. “You should be a cleric or a
paladin.”
“Why does my character have to be
bad?”
“Because Melvin insists on playing with the
old rules,” White Paul said, glaring over at the skinny boy with
glasses. “He’s what we like to call a ‘purist’ and a ‘rules
lawyer.’ ”
“Don’t start this shit again,” Melvin said,
meeting the bigger boy’s glare with one of his own.
While they argued, Jimmy continued helping
Candy.
“Clerics can heal people,” he said. He scooted
his chair right up against hers so they were shoulder to shoulder.
Every time he leaned over her to write something on her character
sheet, Felicia huffed or groaned.
“How do I heal people?” Candy said. “Do I have
an ambulance or something?”
“No.” Jimmy pursed his lips at Felicia when
she laughed. “Have you ever seen those preachers on TV who smack
people on the head and say the Lord has healed them? It’s kind of
like that. Your deity gives you the power to heal
people.”
“My what?”
“Never mind, it’s not important right
now.”
“Okay,” Candy said, thinking it best to just
play along.
After some time, she had all sorts of stuff
written on her character sheet. Everyone else at the table carried
on with the game while Jimmy helped her finish. She thought it was
strange that she was supposed to use mace to kill monsters; she
imagined herself spraying a dragon in the eyes with it.
When Candy was finished, Melvin turned his
attention to her and said, “You grew up in a small fishing town on
the Tempest Coast. Most of the people in your village were killed
in The War of the Seven Crowns, but you were saved by a mysterious
man who took you away to a strange city. You were then given over
to a temple where you became an oracle.”
Candy nodded along. It all sounded complicated
and the last thing she wanted to do was look stupid by asking
questions. Melvin was telling her some other stuff when she heard
her cell phone vibrating in the dining room where she had plugged
it in to charge. She hadn’t checked it yet. Melvin frowned when she
hurried over and flipped it open.
There were twenty missed messages. She looked
at the most recent entry, a missed call from a number she didn’t
recognize. The next three were from the same number and all within
the last thirty minutes. She tried to recall if she knew the
number. Nothing came to mind.
“The temple priest has asked you into his
chambers,” Melvin said.
“Uh,” Candy said, looking up from the digital
display of her cell phone. “I guess I’ll go to his chamber? That
sounds kind of creepy, though. I don’t think a priest should have
someone alone in his chamber, especially a young woman.”