Blood Blade Sisters Series (43 page)

Finn stared for a moment, blinking a few times before his lips pulled into a reluctant smile. He shook his head and looked at the floor. “I’d almost forgotten what a corker you are, Lucy Richardson.” He looked up at her. “Never met anyone with as much gumption as you. I’m glad you never lost that.”

He held his hand out, pointing to an armchair near the window. “Sit?”

Lucy eyed him warily, but he seemed to have shelved the antagonism for the moment so she perched on the edge of the chair, watching him as he took a seat opposite her.

“You look well, Lucy. I’m glad to see that. How have you been?”

Lucy wasn’t quite sure how to answer that question. Physically, she was fine. Perfect. But emotionally, she was a wreck and had been since the day Finn had walked away.

So she settled for a noncommittal, “Fine.”

Finn’s eyebrow quirked up and Lucy had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. Seven years or no, he still seemed to know her. Know when she was holding back.

“I’m fine. Really. I’ve been helping out in Richard’s clinic since the war started.”

Finn nodded. “I wondered how you fared. I’m glad to find you well.”

“You could have found that out at any time. Why did you never return?”

“You know why.”

“I know why you left. Or I know why you left Boston, in any case. Though I still think it was unnecessary. Brynne calmed down and saw reason eventually, just as I told you she would.”

Finn snorted. “Really? I would have bet my last penny that she would still want to skin me alive.”

“It took a while, but eventually she understood. She knows things would have been worse for Coraline if you hadn’t taken her. We know you had no choice. And I suppose I understand why you felt you had to leave Boston, at the time. But I want to know why you left
me
. Why didn’t you take me with you? Send for me? Or at the very least, let me know where you were? Let me know you were all right? Still alive? So many were lost in the war, and I never knew…never knew if you’d been lost, too.”

Finn looked out the window, the ordeals of the last seven years etched into his handsome face. “I guess I didn’t think it mattered anymore. I left. It was done with. Why dredge it back up?”

“Because I never stopped loving you,” Lucy said, her words hardly more than a whisper.

Finn blanched, his eyes closing, shutting her out. Lucy held her breath, waiting for him to respond. Waiting for him to pull her into his arms again, tell her how much he loved her, how happy he was that she had found him.

“You don’t know what love is,” he murmured instead.

Lucy’s breath rushed out of her and it took all she had not to cry aloud. But he wasn’t finished yet.

“You are too young to understand what you are saying. What you felt for me was nothing more than an infatuation. It will pass. It probably has passed. You are just holding onto something that no longer exists.”

Lucy’s chest heaved as she sucked in one lungful of air after another, hoping the oxygen would calm the nausea rising in her belly. And with the anguish came anger. She stood.

“I’m not the little girl you left in Boston all those years ago. I’m not a child to be told how she feels and doesn’t feel. How dare you try to belittle how I feel?”

“You might be older now, but you
were
little more than a child when we met. And much has happened since then. I’m not the same man you knew back then and you,” he said, staring ardently at her despite his words, “have changed as well, I’m sure. The war halted everyone’s lives in some way, I think. Whatever feelings you think you still have for me are just remnants of the past.”

Lucy’s hands curled into fists at her sides. She tried to rein in her mounting frustration but it was proving difficult.

Finn stood. “You might still have some lingering feelings for me because you haven’t had the opportunity to find something real.”

“Oh, bull’s balls!”

Finn’s mouth dropped open and he slowly blinked. Normally, Lucy would be mortified at her lapse into her former heathen slang, but the man was beyond endurance.

“I might have been young back then, but I wasn’t stupid. Don’t you dare try to tell me how I felt then, or how I feel now. I’m not a little girl, Finn. Don’t try to treat me like one.”

Finn watched her for a moment, as though he were sizing her up. And then he nodded. “You’re right. You aren’t a little girl. And you weren’t back then either, not really. I don’t think you’ve ever truly been young. You went straight from diapers to a bandit’s mask and then into a bloody war. You’ve never been one of those immature, flighty girls who doesn’t know her own mind. My apologies.”

Lucy took a deep breath and nodded, accepting his apology. Some of the fight had seeped out of her. She hadn’t been sure what to expect when she found Finn, but having to talk him into loving her wasn’t something that had occurred to her. Either he still loved her or he didn’t. It should be as simple as that. Best to find out and get it over with.

“Did you ever marry?” she asked. She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

“No. I never married.”

Lucy’s heart soared for one brief moment, until he spoke again. “There’s never been anyone I wished to marry. There never will be.”

If he had reached into her chest and ripped her heart out, it wouldn’t have hurt more than those words did. The lump in her throat damn near strangled her but she refused to let him see how much he’d wounded her.

And still…she couldn’t give up. There was something he was hiding from her. Something in his eyes when he looked at her.

“I told you not to look for me,” he said. “I told you to leave me be. How did you find me?”

“A patient at the clinic told me about a tattooed soldier he’d fought with in the war. A man with a death wish who fought like the devil himself. Who they called Fish,” she said with a faint smile. “Who else could he have meant, but you?”

“Watley?”

Lucy nodded.

“I should have left after he found me. I never dreamed he’d find you, too.”

“Perhaps it’s fate.”

Finn’s eyebrow cocked again. “Since when do you believe in fate?”

Lucy shrugged. “I’m not sure what I believe in anymore.”

“Lucy,” Finn whispered.

And there it was again. That tone in his voice. That look in his eye.
That’s
why she couldn’t just walk away from him. He did still love her. No matter what he said. Somewhere deep in that damaged heart of his, he cared for her. She
knew
it. Knew it, with every fiber of her rapidly fraying being.

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms about his waist. For half a heartbeat, he returned her embrace. And then he set her away from him.

“Go home, Lucy. I don’t want you here.”

“Then why did you kiss me?”

Finn’s jaws clench. “You surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again and then you were there…”

Lucy made a minute move toward him again and he backed up. “It was a reflex, a mistake. One I won’t be repeating. You shouldn’t be here, Lucy.”

“I know you love me, Finn. And I love you. That’s why I’m here. Because I couldn’t let the only man I’ve ever loved just disappear from my life. Why can’t you just be truthful?”

“I have never been more truthful in my life than when I say that I do not want you here.”

Lucy’s vision blurred with tears she refused to let fall. Each word was like a wasp’s sting piercing her heart. The words she’d meant to say melted away under the intensity of his gaze.

“Why are you doing this?”

He looked at her again, let her see into the depths of those deep blue eyes. She could drown in those eyes and would do so willingly if he’d let her. “You don’t belong with me, Lucy. I’m no good for you. I’m no good for anyone.”

Lucy opened her mouth to protest but Finn raised his hand. “No. This won’t work. I told you this back in Boston. The years have changed nothing. Go home. Go find some handsome, respectable young man and forget about me. And let me forget about you.”

Finn made to walk past her to the door, but stopped, his shoulders dropping. He half turned his face toward her and Lucy filled with hope that he’d changed his mind. That he’d declare he’d been mad to try and send her away. Then he stiffened, his body rigid with determination, and pinned her with a hard gaze.

“Wait a few minutes after I leave. Make sure no one sees you leaving my room. Neither of us needs the scandal.”

To Lucy’s everlasting shame, a sob escaped her throat and the tears that had been burning behind her eyes finally fell.

Finn’s face softened and he closed the distance between them. He cupped his hand behind her neck, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

“Finn,” she whispered.

He kissed her forehead, his lips brushing across her skin so faintly she could barely feel them.

“Go home, Lucy. I don’t want you here.”

And then he was gone.

Lucy stared at the closed door long after he left while she struggled to stifle the heartbreak that was crushing her soul. Finally, she started to pull herself together, one emotional thread at a time, until she was able to shove her roiling emotions deep down and square her shoulders with new resolve.

Finn might have said he didn’t want her there, but he was lying. To her and to himself. And she was going to make damn sure she made him face the truth. He still loved her.

For the first time in many years, she felt a spark of her old fire. She had something to fight for again, and Richardsons never backed down from a fight.

Go home?

“No way in hell,” she muttered.

Chapter Five

Finn strode down the hallway and back down the grand staircase of the hotel, hardly seeing where he was going. He couldn’t believe she was really there. When he’d first seen her, he’d half thought she was a dream. What was she doing here?

He shouldn’t have kissed her. That had been a mistake. He could still taste her on his lips. Still feel her pressed against him. He could never let that happen again. It would do nothing more than hurt her further and wound him past the point of endurance. How many times had he wished he could hold her in his arms just one more time? Well, he’d gotten his wish. And now the memory of that kiss would be a bittersweet torture for the rest of his miserable life.

The pain in his chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. He stopped short and forced a deep breath.

“Taggart! There you are, man. We’ve been waiting.”

Finn’s blood ran cold. The reason for his rejection of Lucy stood before him, impatiently waiting for Finn to catch up. Finn shoved his emotions back into the deep, dark hole inside his heart and turned to his employer. Philip Halford was an up-and-coming politician who had brilliant prospects in the mayoral election. Finn also owed the man his life, and therefore, his servitude. At least for the time being.

The man was the epitome of society: well-bred, civic-minded, philanthropic. Outwardly. Those in the right circles knew nothing of his murky past and he paid a lot of money to keep it that way. And now Finn was serving as his right-hand man. Finn had a feeling that Halford wanted to keep him close so he could watch him, more than any other reason. After the kidnapping fiasco in Boston, Halford had decided Finn’s talents would be of more use to him personally than out in the field. Finn didn’t agree. But he had little choice in the matter. Halford owned him, for all intents and purposes, for another two years.

So far, the job had been relatively easy. Finn had been helping with Halford’s campaign, overseeing the odd shipment or two when Halford had cargo coming in he wanted to keep secret, and occasionally he acted as a sort of bodyguard, keeping fans and detractors alike from getting too close to the politician. Though, in truth, nothing remotely dangerous had ever occurred. In fact, Finn often felt he should be guarding the public from Halford, rather than the other way around. The man took the whole political game a little too seriously. No old lady or baby within a mile of Halford was safe. And that was just the face he showed the public. If his true nature were ever revealed…well, it would take more than Finn to keep the man from a noose.

But now that Lucy had found Finn, something would have to be done. He’d just have to make her see reason, get her to return home. Though he was laughing at that thought even before it had been fully formed. Lucy was just as stubborn as her sisters. Perhaps even more so. As the baby of a trio of formidable women, she’d had to fight to get her voice heard. As a result, she was almost impossible to deter once her mind was set.

And she knew where he was now. It would probably be best, be easiest for both of them, if he disappeared again. The thought of leaving her sent another shard of anguish through his heart. He’d barely been able to turn his back on her the first time. Just now, leaving her in that hotel room had ripped open the scar on his heart and left a gaping, bleeding wound. How could he stand his ground and make her leave if she persisted, as he greatly feared she would?

He’d have to. He was no good for her and had nothing to offer. She might not care about his background or his lack of money, but society certainly would. And even more importantly, her family would never allow it. Brynne would flay him alive if she ever saw him again, no matter what Lucy said, and he couldn’t really blame her. He had kidnapped Brynne’s daughter. But he’d kept her safe from the smugglers he’d worked for—as safe and as happy as possible. If he hadn’t taken her, one of his associates would have. Finn shuddered to think what Coraline’s treatment would have been under their care.

But even if Brynne understood that, he doubted she’d forgiven him. She’d certainly never forget. And Lucy was too close to her sisters for their opinions to not matter to her. Even worse, if Lucy stayed, she’d be noticed by Halford. Lucy was beautiful, unattached, and rich. She’d be irresistible to his boss. He’d been looking for a wealthy wife for a while and though he’d prefer one a little more gently bred than Lucy, he’d overlook that for her fortune.

Finn could not let Halford get his hooks into her. No one would ever be good enough for Lucy but Halford was the worst sort of scoundrel. A criminal who masqueraded as the best society had to offer. Finn had once seen him break a man’s legs for failing to repay a debt and then return to a party with his politician’s grin on his face as though nothing had happened. He’d taken a man’s wife as mistress in lieu of payment on a deal, cheated orphans and widows out of their inheritances, ruthlessly pursued what he wanted and had trafficked in slavery, murder, mayhem, and misery. And those were just a few of the things Finn knew of. Halford was a black-hearted fiend, through and through.

It would be best if Finn left. Went somewhere Lucy could never find him. Where her association with him couldn’t hurt her. Perhaps he could try Australia. Or India. If it weren’t for Halford, that’s exactly what he’d do. But he owed Halford. And he wasn’t going to be allowed to forget that.

“Taggart?”

Finn jerked, startled out of his thoughts. Halford stood looking at him, his brow furrowed. “Are you all right, man?”

Finn straightened. “Yes, of course. My apologies.” He held his hand out, trying to lead Halford out the door. Finn wanted him out of the hotel before Lucy came downstairs.

“Is everything set for my speech?”

“Yes. I’ve done a thorough search of the venue. Everything is set up and secure and I have two of my men stationed inside making sure it stays that way. I’ll have the carriage waiting for you at the back entrance to bring you back to the hotel as soon as you are through.”

“Good, good. Though I thought I should take a few moments to mingle with the crowd afterward. Give them some personal attention. Kiss a few babies and all that. Must give the people what they want, eh?” Halford chuckled and Finn stifled a sigh. The man was an abject bore.

“I don’t think that would be wise, sir. I cannot guarantee who will be in the audience and therefore cannot guarantee your safety—”

“Nonsense. With you at my side, I have no fears. Now, shall we be off?”

“Yes, sir,” Finn said, resigned to another long afternoon of watching the politician swindling his way through another crowd of voters.

“Finn!”

Finn’s stomach dropped.

“Finn!”

Lucy had made her way down the stairs and was marching purposely toward them. Finn tried to ignore her. He turned his back, hoping he blocked the view of her, and tried to steer Halford out the door but Halford was looking over his shoulder at Lucy with an interest that made Finn’s blood burn.

“Well, now. Who is this delightful creature?” Halford asked as Lucy caught up with them.

Finn fumed, his jaw locked tight, anger and a thread of fear pumping through him. Lucy looked from him to Halford, obviously waiting to be introduced. When Finn didn’t say anything she turned her pert little chin up in the air and addressed him herself.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir. I’m—”

“This is my cousin,” Finn interjected. “Lucy.”

Lucy frowned up at him, confusion and hurt shadowing her eyes. Finn was sorry to cause her more pain, but she needed to understand that there was nothing between them. And he couldn’t allow Halford to know how much Lucy meant to him. Couldn’t give him any more leverage to use against him. Making her his cousin kept their true relationship secret and kept her real identity hidden. Hopefully, Halford would assume she was as unworthy as Finn and undeserving of his interest.

“Shame on you, Taggart! You never told me you had such an enchanting cousin. Tell me, my dear, are you in town visiting, or do you live in our fair city? Though surely you must be visiting for I am certain I would have made your acquaintance before now had you been in Charlotte for any amount of time.”

Lucy gave Halford a polite smile. “I just came into town to visit my cousin,” she said, her nose wrinkling a bit at the word. “I’d only just heard he was here. We lost contact during the war.”

“Of course, of course. Such a shame you lost touch,” Halford said, eyeing Finn thoughtfully. “But how delightful to finally meet up again! Well, you must certainly join us. Do you have any plans this afternoon?”

“Yes,” Finn interrupted. “I believe my cousin needs to pack her belongings. She is returning home first thing in the morning.”

Lucy glared at him.

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Halford said, his shrewd eyes darting between them, though he played oblivious to the tension burning between the two. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to stay longer? I’m just on my way to deliver what I believe will be a very enlightening speech and I will be hosting a ball in just a few weeks at my home. It would be wonderful if you could attend.”

“I’m afraid she can’t—”

“Why, that sounds wonderful!” Lucy said, ignoring Finn. “I was just telling Finn that I wished I could stay a bit longer and now I have the perfect excuse. I’m sure my family wouldn’t mind if I prolonged my visit.”

“Wonderful!” Halford exclaimed. “Would you care to accompany us? It would be my pleasure to escort you.” He offered Lucy his elbow, his greedy gaze devouring her in a way that made Finn want to pummel the man.

“That would be delightful, thank you.” Lucy took Halford’s elbow, threw a triumphant look over her shoulder at Finn, and allowed Halford to lead her out the door to the waiting carriage.

Just perfect
. Dread settled into a hard, icy knot in his gut. Not only had he
not
succeeded in getting Lucy to leave, but she had firmly ensconced herself in the lion’s den. She had no idea who she was dealing with and Finn needed to enlighten her. In the meantime, he was going to have the dubious pleasure of watching as she was squired around town by the man he was working for. Which meant Finn would be forced to witness every smarmy move on Halford’s part. And Finn would be in Lucy’s company. Every day.

His sanity would never survive.

…

The carriage pulled up in front of a small courtyard of a run-down factory where a platform had been constructed. Lucy was taken aback at the location. She’d expected Mr. Halford would be addressing a group of upper-class men, perhaps in an upscale club or a supporter’s mansion or some such place. But the crowd already milling around in front of the stage consisted of largely middle-to lower-class whites. Lucy was surprised to see quite a few black faces among the throng, considering the fact that it was not yet legal for them to vote in this part of the country.

She clambered down from the carriage gratefully. The tension inside had been thicker than frozen molasses with Finn glowering at her the entire way. Well, tough for him. Despite what he said, Lucy didn’t believe that he truly wanted her to go away. That kiss when he’d first seen her…Lucy’s heart skipped a beat at the mere memory. He loved her, she was sure of it. She just had to make the stubborn ass admit it. And to do that she’d need to stick around.

Mr. Halford held out his arm with a gallant smile and Lucy once again took it, letting him draw her into his side. Finn’s look darkened, his jaw clenching so tightly his lips almost disappeared. Well, maybe a little jealousy would help things along. After all, surely he wouldn’t stand by and let her be courted by someone else. And whiling away a few hours with the charming Mr. Halford might be amusing. He seemed pleasant enough and he was certainly handsome. Lucy could think of worse ways to spend her time.

Finn turned away and scanned the crowd while Mr. Halford deposited Lucy near the front. She watched the gathering assembly with interest. There were a good many angry faces among the waiting spectators, which was curious, as the speech hadn’t yet begun. Finn’s voice at her elbow made her jump.

“Some of Mr. Halford’s ideas are a bit unpopular with the public. Well, with the upper-class white public, at any rate.”

Lucy turned to Finn with interest. “Oh. And what would those be?”

“He advocates voting rights for everyone, regardless of race or social status. Including former slaves.”

“Everyone? Even women?”

“I should have said all males. Even he isn’t that progressive.”

Lucy snorted. “Well, it’s something, I suppose. Better than most politicians in the area, I’d imagine.”

“Oh, don’t mistake his policies for his actual beliefs. He’s just a bit more shrewd than most. It’s a huge, untapped voter population. If he’s popular with them, and they turn out in droves to vote, he’s almost guaranteed to win.”

Lucy cocked her head as she gazed at him. “You don’t seem to like your employer much.”

“I loathe him.”

Lucy’s eyes widened and Finn shrugged, his attention on Mr. Halford as the man mounted the stage. “Whether I like him or not is irrelevant. I was hired to be his errand boy and occasional bodyguard. I don’t have to like him for that.”

Lucy followed his gaze. “Shouldn’t you be up there with him?”

“He doesn’t wish to appear fearful. I can keep an eye on things from down here. And another of Halford’s men is on the platform with him. Mr. Halford is paranoid and self-serving. He wouldn’t be up there right now if he thought he was in true danger.”

“Rather cynical of you, Mr. Taggart.”

Finn’s gaze met hers and Lucy fought to breathe. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms and beg him to love her. But his private rejection had been miserable enough. She certainly had no intention of forcing a repeat performance in public.

“Not cynical. Realistic. I prefer to keep my feet firmly planted in reality, not bury my head in the sand and only see what I want to see.”

“And why do I get the feeling we aren’t discussing Mr. Halford anymore?”

“You need to go home, Lucy. Nothing you do will convince me to change my mind. Staying here will only mean more heartache. Go home.”