Blissful Devastation (Leighton Lock Chronicles #1) (5 page)

“Yes, I am sure.” I tell him and watch as he explains how to
switch it off.

“Leighton.” I hear my name being called through my fogginess
as I lean to press the button.

I turn my head, stopping in my tracks, to see Antonio as the
door. “Ant.” I say, my lip beginning to quiver. He comes to my side, pulling me
to him. He holds me for a few minutes before pulling me away to look at me.
“God, I’m so sorry, man. So fucking sorry.” Ant passes his regards on to me,
looking to my fiancée.

“I need to this now.” I say to everyone, turning around and
pressing the button quickly, immediately.

We all stand silently as we watched for ten minutes as the
line of her pulse dwindles and eventually flat lines.

I dropped my head down to the floor, officially alone.

She is dead.

It was Josie’s funeral today. It was only small, with me,
Antonio, Maria and my sister in attendance. Josie didn’t have anyone else. We
were her only family, and I always tried to be the best she ever had.

It was a beautiful ceremony, perfect for her. Elegant and a striking
way to remember her and the incredible person she was.

I'm at the hospital now, in a different room. They have
moved Joseph to the proper premature baby facility, to care for him. It has
been two weeks since Josie was hit. They had to keep her body, letting police
examine her for traces of the vehicle that had hit her. I refused to let them
to do it when she was on the machines, I wanted my last moments with her,
untarnished.

The cops still don't have an answer, they still don't know
what happened to my Josie, but they are
trying
to find out. I have no
faith that they will, whoever did this, driving away after ripping her life
from her, clearly knows how to cover his or hers tracks.

I sit in the chair in my baby’s room, watching him moving a
little, my hand stroking his soft forehead. Georgia is with me, as she has been
for the past two weeks, refusing to leave my side. I’ve been staying in a hotel
nearby, not wanting to go home to our home, or to my parents house. Everything
just holds too many memories.

“He is doing real well, Leighton, I can't believe he’s
already grown.” Georgia tells me, as she sits next to me, watching as her
nephew blinks his little eyes.

He had started to strengthen, his levels of medicine needed,
being lowered, the levels of oxygen artificially fed to him, lowered,
everything is looking up. I still feel emptiness inside of me at the absence of
her, but Joseph is making it better, making it easier to smile every day. I now
look forward to the future, look forward to seeing my kid growing up, even
without his mother there, I know we will have a beautiful life together.

The doctors have said he should be able to go home around
the time he was originally due, but it could be earlier.

“I know, he is already getting better, I’m so grateful he is
okay. It could have gone the complete opposite way. I could have lost them
both.” I say sadly, not wanting to think of not having Joe here. He is now my
life, everything I live and breathe for. He is beautiful, perfect, and a complete
spit of his mother.

“I'm excited for you to take him home.” Georgia tells me. I
know she is excited to be an auntie, to cuddle and play with him.

“Yeah, me too. I’ll be going to Ant’s until I can get my own
house, so i'm sure he’d be okay with you coming. I think ima need the help to
be honest. I haven’t got a clue what i'm doing.” I laugh stupidly at myself,
and my lack of knowledge.

“It’ll come to you, Leigh, you are going to be amazing. I
just know you are.” I know my sister looks up to me, she always has.

“How’s mum?” I ask, knowing she was upset by what she saw at
the hospital. Why she couldn’t of come and seen how I was, I don't know, but I
still worry about her at home with
him
.

“She is okay. As well as can be with him, there.” Georgia
replies, presenting her feelings of our father.

“Yeah, I bet. I don't like her there with him, or Brandon.”
I miss my brother. I haven’t seen him since the day I left home, over three
months ago.

“Brandon doesn’t do much, he stays in his room all day on
that poxy computer, so dad doesn’t get a chance to get at him. But mum, I’m
getting sick of seeing it to be honest, Leighton.” Georgia reveals to me,
making me a little angry at my mothers stubbornness.

“I need to try and get her away, or get him gone. I’d love
to be able to come home, I need you guys, but I can't face seeing him without
wanting to...” I don't finish my sentence, Georgia doesn’t need to know what
our father and I do.

“Yeah, don't we wish you could.” She says with an evil look
in her eyes. I am clearly less in the know that I thought, my baby sister, a
young girl, knows what our father does for a living.

“So, anyway, little sister, how is everything, any boys got
their eye on you?” I only ask, so she gives me the name of the boys I need to
castrate. My little sister is fourteen, becoming a young woman, and not only
did I fear for my child growing up, I fear for my sister’s innocence. I feel
for the guy to grasp that, because he will find his cock lodged in his throat.

“No, none.” She replies all too quickly causing me to doubt
her. I laugh at her, scuffing her hair.

“Okay, whatever you say, Georg.” I brush my fingertips over
Joe’s nose gently before removing my hand. “Wanna head for some food and a
sleep?” I ask her, in desperate need of something in my stomach and a good
night’s sleep. I feel at peace now, like a huge weight has been lifted and I
can carry on my life, remembering my Josie and the way we were. I know she is
smiling down on me, guiding me to safety.

“Absolutely. I'm ravenous.” Georgia replies, kissing her
fingertips and placing them on her Nephews head.

“Come on then.” I bend my elbow offering it to her, after
saying goodbye to my boy. I smile at him, proud of the strength he has, and the
strength he has instilled in me.

“You’re a good guy, Leighton Lock. I'm proud to be your
sister, you know that?” Georgia tells me and it makes my heart melt.

“Georgia, that is too sweet. I'm honoured to be your brother
too, I’m so thankful you’re here with me, keeping me up.” I tell her, letting
her arm go and putting my arm around her shoulders.

“No, Leighton, it is not me keeping you up, it is you. You
are stronger than you think you are, you are a soldier, a warrior who fought to
survive.”I kiss her head and pull her tighter to me.

“Thanks. Sometime I don't feel like it, but I’m determined
to live every second of my life the way Josie would want me to.” We walk to my
car, then I drive us to a local grill.

We eat our meals, talking and laughing about things that
happened when we were children. I tell her of funny times with me and Josie,
tell her how it was when we found out about Joe, how excited we were.

We head back to the hotel after, both showering quickly and
getting into our beds.

It is lights out for me almost the second my head hit the
pillow.

I know it’s not lights out forever, there will be a trail of
it somewhere and it will draw me to it like a moth to a flame, guiding me
somewhere I can call home once more, my angel showing me the pathway I need to
take.

The day has come, the day I get to take my son home, well to
his temporary home anyway. He now weighs five pound two ounces, he is healthy,
can breathe on his own and has fortunately not suffered any complications from
his premature birth.  It is two weeks before his original due date, so he is
home earlier than expected. Georgia and I, with Joseph in his car seat, walk
through the hospital car park to my car, getting him settled in before driving
to Antonio’s house.

When we arrive, we are greeted by him and his sister, Maria,
both of them running through the front door, down the drive to the car. Maria
is quick to help me get Joe out of the car, her and Georgia carrying his car
seat in the house.

“You doing good, mate?” Ant asks me, as we both follow our
sisters into the house, shaking our heads at their enthusiasm over him being
here.

“I’m really good, actually, very positive. So happy to
finally have him home.” Antonio slaps my back in a friendly gesture, guiding me
through the front door of his welcoming home. Blue banners and streamers have
been put up and I can't help but smile sadly as I think that Josie should be
here, bringing him home with me.

“Love you baby.” I say to the ceiling as I walk through the
house to find my little sister and son.

Both the girls are fussing over him, stroking him and trying
to un strap him to cuddle him. “Girls, he is still small. Be careful. Let me
help you please.” I tell them, walking over and easily unclipping his straps. I
pick him up carefully, his body still so small, but not as fragile anymore.

Sit down, you crazy arse girls aren’t holding him till you
calm down.” Ant tells the pair of them, both walking and slumping into the
sofa.

I smile as I walk over and place Joseph in my sisters arms.
She has been incredible for me, kept me going. She means more than life to me,
I don't know where I would be without her. I wish my mother was here, meeting
and holding her grandson, wanting to be involved, but she isn’t, she at home,
with him, and that thought pisses me off.

“He is just so beautiful, Leighton.” Maria tells me,
stroking his face gently as Georgia holds him safely in her arms.

“Thank you, Maria. He looks like his mother.” I smile
brightly at the thought, knowing every time I look at him I have the privilege
of seeing her there.

“That he does.” Ant joins in, staring down at him. “Want a
coffee?” Ant asks me, walking through the lounge towards the kitchen.

“God Yes.” I reply, following suit.

We sit at the island, drinking and talking about everything
and anything. He is more than happy for me to stay as long as I want and need
to. I'm grateful to him, but eventually I want to move and get my own home to
bring my son up in.

“You’ve got it, Leigh, you’re going to be good at this, he
is good for you.” Antonio tells me, sipping from his cup.

“He is, he makes me feel alive. Like I have a purpose in
life again. I just wish my mum was here to see him, to know him.”

“She still with him?” Antonio asks me, reminding me of a
similar conversation we had three months ago, where we had planned to kill my
dad. The thoughts still linger in my mind, but with my son now here, I, in some
ways, don't want to get involved in shit like that.

Really, I’d love nothing more to see him dead, but I’m less
inclined to do the sorting myself.

“Yeah, of course. I don't know why, I don't know if she is
scared to leave or if she genuinely wants to be with his lying cheating arse.
And Brandon, I’m worried for him, all he does is stay in his room all day,
every day. It’s not good for him.” I explain, thinking things through in my
head.

“No, it’s not Leighton. Maybe we could get him to come here
for a few days, catch up, meet his nephew. Then maybe your mum might follow,
come and finally meet her grandson.” He raises his eyebrows the way he always
does when he makes up a plan.

“Yeah, maybe.” I finish my drink and rinse the mug out in
the sink.

“You can only try, bud.” He says to me, walking out of the
kitchen, leaving me thinking things over.

I decide to call him, to catch up with him.

“Hello.” He answers the phone anxiously, probably not having
my number.

“Hi, Brandon, its Leighton.” I say to him, waiting for his
answer.

“Hi. I'm sorry to hear about Josie, Leighton. She was a
lovely girl.” He tells me, and I find it hard to hear the emotion in his voice.
He is too absorbed in his computers to actually have any kind of social
communication skills.

“Yeah, she was. Look, I don't know if anyone’s told you, but
you have a nephew now, his name is Joseph.”

“Yeah, I heard, congratulations, Leighton.” Brandon
congratulates me through the phone.

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to Antonio’s
for a few days and meet him, come and see me, I miss you kid.” I confess to
him. Brandon is only two years younger than me, and at one point, before
computers became his life, we had been almost like best friends, doing
everything together.

“Yeah, can do.” He says timidly through the speaker. I smile
at the fact the has actually agreed to leave his room.

“Cool, well I’m at Ants. Come whenever you can, be nice to
see you.” He says goodbye and then I walk to the lounge.

“Brandon’s coming.” I say, smiling widely.

“Really?” Georgia asks me, just as shocked as me.

“Yeah, really.” I reply, going over and picking my boy up
from her, to feed him. I make his bottle up and settle on the sofa to feed him.
His bright blue eyes look up at me as he suckles at his bottle, his mouth still
so small he struggles to surround the teat.

“Gosh, he is just too perfect.” Ant says as he looks over my
shoulder at him.

“Yeah, he is. He really is.” I relax in to the sofa more,
watching, entranced by Joe, as he drinks and eventually falls asleep in my
arms.

“I’ve made up a cot in one of the spare rooms for him, I got
a baby monitor as well so you can hear him in the night.” I thank him, his
consideration soul mending.

“I’ll try and find a place soon, get out of your hair.” I
inform him, lifting my son and laying him against my chest.

“I'm going to get to bed, mate, I’ll be around if you need
me, just call for me. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine mate, I’ll probably kip in Joe’s room on the
floor for the night, don't want to leave him yet.” Antonio smiles at me,
tapping my shoulder affectionately, before leaving.

The girls both stand and leave, kissing my cheek and Joseph
goodnight. I lie down on the sofa, stretching myself out, Joe still asleep atop
my chest, his little breaths warming my skin.

I let my eyes fall closed, my sleep inevitable.

*****

I wake at some point during the night, the darkness
surrounding me, a tiny weight on my chest as my son continues to sleep. I
support his neck and back as I stand, walking through the darkened house to
find the room he is set up in.

I place him in the freshly made cot, when I find the room,
covering him up in a blanket. I make myself a makeshift bed on the floor,
wiggling into the duvet to keep myself warm.

I lie down, staring through the cot bars, watching as his
little chest rises and falls, a sign of his continuing life. It takes me some
time to fall asleep this time, but I eventually fall into it, desperately needing
it.