Blissful Devastation (Leighton Lock Chronicles #1) (6 page)

Having my brother here, with my sister and best friend,
could possibly be the best thing I have ever known. Sitting in the garden, my
beautiful son cradled in my arms, my family around me drinking and laughing,
there is nothing better in this world.

I sit and watch as the sun sets beyond the trees in the
distance, Ant’s garden slowly turning to a beautiful moonlit haven. The sky is
clear, an intense sapphire with twinkling stars, scattered across the blanket. 
I smile up to the blackened sky, mentally thanking my fiancée for our son,
Joseph. He is more than I could ever imagine. I knew he would grow up, a
strapping young man. Who would break far too many hearts.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Georgia says as she sits next to me
on the wooden deck steps.

“Yeah, it sure is. I could look at that sky forever.” I tell
her, stroking Josephs brown soft hair as he lay lengthways over my chest. Even
with the muscle there, it is clearly still comfortable enough to sleep on.

He has been home for two months now, my sister and brother
having been here just as long. Neither of them have heard or seen my parents
since then, glorifying in the feeling of being away from them.

“Me too, the view here is just outstanding.” She says,
looking to her nephew then across the garden to our bother, my best friend and
his sister mucking around on the grass. I can already tell she has one of those
annoying teenage crushes on Ant, and I figure I’ll have to stop that reaction
to him straight away.

“Yeah, the countryside really is awesome. The sky is so
clear out here.” I divert her thoughts.

“Aha.” She replies, not even paying attention to me.

“Georg, don't even go there.” I warn her, moving Joe to lie
in my arms, rather than on my chest. He is becoming a little restless, and I
think he may be ready for his cot.

“Aha.” She says again, annoying me, but making me chuckle at
the same time.

“What’s funny?” she turns her head fast to look at me, her
cheeks rose red and her lip being bitten. She is too young to be doing that,
this is so not ever going to happen.

“Oh, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.
Just, keep your eyes focused on school okay. Do not even think about letting a
guy near you, or I will remove his genitals and choke him with them.” I smile
smugly at her, and then feel satisfied at the horrified look she gives me.

“Leighton, that’s horrid.” She stands up, taking Joseph from
me. “I'm going to put him to bed.” She tells me stormily, not liking the fact
I’ve warned her away from Ant. She is too young for boys, and never, in a
million years would I ever let a guy like Antonio, no matter how much I loved
the guy, near my baby sister. He is the ultimate whore, far too rough for
someone as delicate as Georgia is. No, it is never happening.

“I'm going to bed. Goodnight!” she calls out to everyone,
the same temper still evident in her voice.

I stand from the decking, laughing to myself as I make my
way across the night light lit law, to the guys now sitting on the grass in a
circle, talking.

“What’s gotten her knickers in a twist?” Ant asks me,
causing me to growl at him, not needing him talking about my sister in any way,
shape or form, especially her fucking panties.

“Never ask that question again, Antonio Little.” I warn him,
picking at the long blades of grass around me. I stretch my legs out and allow
the cool night air to kiss my face.

“Fuck, what’s gotten your fucking kickers in a twist too?”
he asks me, laughing the way he always does. He has balls, he isn’t afraid of
me, why would be when he already towers over me by four inches and forty
pounds. He could lay me out in a single punch.

“Ant, seriously. Just don't go there. It’s nothing anyone
needs to know. She just didn’t like something I said to her, so she’s being a
typical brat and stropping off.” It didn’t help she is living with us. Not only
have I got my own boy to look after, I’ve got my fourteen year old sister hitting
her PMS stage. I have no clue how to deal with it.

“Err, Leighton, if it’s about a boy, the worst thing you can
do is warn her away. Trust me, when I say this, she is only going to try to get
him all the more.” I huff at that thought, realising how hard it will be to
keep her away from him, with her constant temporary presence here now.

“This is so not happening, Maria. Not on your life, or anyone
else’s. She is fourteen, not twenty. She is my sister, therefore she will
remain a virgin until she dies.” I smile that smug smile once more, undoing a
beer and drinking some of it.

“Fourteen, Jesus, I lost mine last year.” She admitted,
instantly cowering under her brother protective glare. The growl he reveals
makes me back away slightly, let alone his sister.

“Maria.” He bites out, clearly wanting to know the kids
name, because let’s face it, he probably is just a kid, well at least I hope he
is.

“Oh, piss off Ant, don't even go there with that brotherly
protection crap.” That would have made her eleven, far too young by anyone’s
standards. But she is right, there is no way Ant can talk, the guy was pretty
much a man by that point, fucking girls three or four years older than him,
sometimes older.

“What do you mean, piss off. You were fucking eleven, Maria,
a fucking child. I will slit the cunts throat.” He gets up and walks off
angrily.

“Oh, now who’s got their knickers in a twist?” she says
sarcastically, the way she always does.

“That’s something you should never have told him, Maria.” I
explain to her, downing the remainder of my beer. “I'm off to bed, you coming
Brandon?” I ask my brother, seeing his tired eyes closing a little.

“Fuck yes.” He says, getting to his feet far too quickly.

“Night, Maria. I would go to bed too, let Ant sleep on it.
You know it’s just gonna piss him off if he doesn’t get some space.” I explain
to Maria, knowing Ant more than anyone else. When he is angry, the worst thing
anyone can do, if they want to stay alive, is bug him, try and calm him. It’s
better to let him deal with it himself.

“I can handle my stroppy arse brother, Leighton. Don't worry
about me.” She smiles sweetly to me, far too confident for her own good.

“Okay, whatever you say, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the
morning.” I tell her, standing from the grass and walking across the garden
with my brother, taking the few decked stairs, to go inside the house.

I grab a glass of water and head to my room. Brandon is
staying in the room Ant had set me up, I’m still sleeping on the floor in Joe’s
room, not wanting to ever leave his side. I fear if I turn away from him, for
even a second, he will disappear. It is better, for my own sanity, to be near
to him constantly.

I tap my brother back, as I pass him entering his room.
“Night, Bro. It’s good to have you here.” I tell him, going into my own room,
closing the door behind me.  The cute little mobile Georgia has bought Joe,
slowly rotates above his cot, illuminated shapes lighting the room warmly. His
little body lay on the mattress, star-fished as his blanket lay haphazardly
across his legs. His body is in a baby blue onsie, still a little too big for
his now eight pound body.

“Night, son.” I say proudly, leaning in and kissing his
forehead gently. His smell alone is intoxicating, making me feel so at ease and
comforted by his presence. I seriously don't know what I would do without him
in my life, he is everything I need and will ever need.  “Love you.”

I get into my bed on the floor, consisting of a multitude of
thick duvets to lie on and a thinner one to cover me. I turn on my side, facing
the cot. I close my eyes and let myself listen to Josephs gently snoring,
letting it sooth me.

*****

I wake to a loud noise through the house. I shoot up in my
bed, looking to the cot to see Joe missing. I jump to my feet and run from the
room. It’s only when I get to the landing I realise the loud noise is actually
the contagious laughing of Georgia and Brandon.

“Look at him, Brandon, that’s not a smile, he’s pooping.” I
hear her say and I laugh to myself as I take the stairs less panicky, down to
the lower floor.

“In future, you little fuckers, let me know if you take him,
I just shit myself.” I inform everyone in the kitchen, before even saying
morning.

“No, you did not shit yourself, your son just done that for
you.” Brandon says sarcastically, smiling at me in a ‘have fun with that’ look.

“You know, I could seriously live like this forever.”
Georgia says aloud, forcing a look from everyone in the kitchen.

“I'm sure you could, but it aint happening.” I tell her,
reminding her, that sooner rather than later, I was getting my own place to
keep her away from Ant. I knew how easily my sister got her own way, and it is
only a matter of time before she starts trying to get her claws in the guy, who
is seven years older than her might I add.

“Yeah, okay, whatever Leigh. You don't mind me staying do
you, Ant?” she asks my best friend, making me growl again.

“Not at all, sweetheart. You guys are all welcome to stay
here as long as you need. I kind of like having you around.” Ant informs us.

Of course he does, he gets to see my sister in her
barely-there shorts, bikinis and skimpy pyjamas.

“Again, and I will say this for everyone to hear, so please
do we a favour and open your ears. We are not staying here, thanks Ant for
everything, but this,” I point between the two of them, for everyone to see,
“aint happening, ever, so Georgia get those little fantasies out of your head,
and Ant don't even try pretending you don't look at her, because I will rip
your dick off, like you want to your sister’s deflowerer. Got it. good, I’m so
glad.” I'm sure the murderous look in my gaze was enough to stop everyone’s
thoughts on the subject.

“I'm with Leigh on this, Georgia, this is never going to
happen, so just forget about it. And Antonio, I might be a weedy fuck, but I
will break your teeth if you touch her.” Brandon threatens Ant, it makes me
smile, that even with his tiny frame, he is still willing to die, because let’s
face it, he would die against Ant, to protect our sister innocence.

“Whoa, guys, bit intense. I wasn’t even thinking that, I
have no interest in your little sister, she is just a kid.” Ant tells me, his
face straight and full of
mostly
truth.

“Thanks.” Georgia says loudly, her eyes watering. She runs
from the room, slamming the door behind her.

“Gosh, that girl is going to fucking kill me.” I tell
everyone, pouring myself a black coffee, taking a sip and sighing into the mug
as it wakens me a little.

“Anyway, how did you sleep?” Maria asks me, breaking the
ice.

“Good, thanks, other than being woken by you all laughing,
and thinking it was something worse, and then seeing Joe gone, so I kind of had
a heart attack.” I down the remainder of my boiling coffee, the heat burning my
tongue but refreshing my body.

“Come on little man, let’s get you washed and changed.” I
say as I pick Joe up from Brandon and walk from the room to take him upstairs.

I clean him, put him in the cutest jeans and shirt, and then
take him back downstairs, so the guys can watch him whilst I wash.

I shower quickly, getting myself dressed and ready for the
day. I am determined to find myself somewhere to live, but I have no money now,
my father having ceased my accounts, so there is only one thing I can do to
achieve what I want to. I either find a job, which I didn’t want to do just yet
with Joe needing me, or I go and see my father and try and sort the shit out
between us.

My father is the only option I really have, I know it will
be a shitty meeting, but It’s all I can do to get myself somewhere, start a
life that me and my son both deserve.

I return to the kitchen, making yet another coffee. I am
sure I will turn into a fucking coffee bean soon. “Can you guys keep an eye on
Joseph for me today?” I ask Ant and Brandon as they are the only ones still in
the kitchen, talking about annoying PMS flooded sisters.

“Sure thing, bro. Where you off to?” Brandon asks me,
cuddling his nephew. It’s nice to see him a little more open and happy. He
seems like an actual normal teenager now, not an isolated computer addict.

“Home, I need to try and sort some things out so I can start
a life for me and my boy. Just keep him here, I might be a while. You know how
dad is.” I smile sympathetically at him, knowing he knows how our father is,
how violent and cruel he can be. I didn’t need his harsh words about my son,
because I can guarantee there would be some, just to spite me.

“Of course, just be safe Leighton. Do you need me to come
with you?” Ant asks me, always there to cover my back.

“It’s okay, mate, I’ll be okay. I am hoping to not be more
than a few hours. With any luck I might be able to move past everything and
start my own life.” I give my son a kiss to his head then ruffle his soft hair
slightly. “See you guys soon.” I wave to them over my shoulder as I get my keys
and leave the house.

Getting in my car, I sit in the seat for a few minutes,
taking large breaths. It is going to be hard to see him, and my mother. Needing
her at the hardest point of my life, and having her run out on me had broken
any faith I had in her, any comfort of her being there to help me in hard
times. She failed me, catastrophically, and I’m finding it hard to forgive her.

I start the ignition of my car, pulling away from Ant’s
large driveway, driving cautiously through the winding country roads of
Chelmsford.

I pull into the enormous drive, outside my parent’s even
more gigantic home. It once was a place I called home, a place I felt safe and
cherished, now It is just a collection of bricks and cement, that conceal a
place that is full of lies.

I knock on the door, not wanting to just walk in, I don't
feel like it is my home anymore, I’m merely a visitor.

The door is pulled open harshly, a woman coming into view.
My mother, but not really, she looks older, more withered and weaker since the
last time I had seen her, five months ago at the hospital.

“Leighton?” she says, surprised to see me.

“Hi, mum.” I say without any emotion, not even knowing if the
word suited her anymore.

“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” my mum asks
me concerned.

“Everything is fine, I just need to speak to you and dad
about some things.”

“Sure, come in.” She ushers me indoors, looking at me as
though wanting to pull me in her arms, but she settles for brushing her hand up
my arm.

“How you holding up, kid?” she questions me, and it makes my
blood boil, but I force myself to rein my anger in, not needing to feel that
way right now. I have more important things to think about right now, and
losing my temper isn’t going to do anything to help.

“Fine.” I answer simply, once again not showing any emotion.

“Good, I’ve been worried.” She tells me, making me scoff at
her.

“Yeah, sure.” I reply to her, rolling my eyes at her. Since
when did my mother become a bullshitting, fake bitch? She has clearly been more
self-obsessed and desperate to keep my lying scumbag father than to care for
her son in the hardest time he will ever go through.

“I have, please you have to believe me.” She pleads me with
her eyes, ones that once held life but now are just empty pits of fake truths
and empty promises.

“Sure.” I smile smugly at her, walking past her to go to the
lounge.

“Son, I didn’t know you were coming today. How have you
been? Good?” my father stands from his chair, walking across the room to me. He
pulls me into a hug, slapping my back firmly.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been fabulous, Dad. Of course you both would
know if you bothered.” I say quietly, under my breath, but still loud enough
for them to hear.

“We’ve wanted to, Leighton, truly, but we have been far too
busy here.” My dad tells me, making me laugh manically at him.

“Too fucking busy here? What’s busy, dad? Fucking more
woman, killing more people? I’ve been dying inside, and both of you, my own fucking
parents, couldn’t give a toss how I’m coping after losing my fiancée. How my
son is coping after being born three months fucking early. You’re full of shit,
dad.” I tell him, going to his liquor cabinet and pouring myself a large drink,
needing it to calm me before I lose my temper too much.

“How is my grandson?” My mum asks me, coming to my side and
stroking my arm again.

“Don't call him that. He is not your grandson, he is nothing
to you. He is my son, Georgia and Brandon’s nephew, Josie’s son, he is nothing
to do with you, and never will be. I only came here to ask for my trust fund.”
I tell them both bluntly. I have no room for calm right now. I just want to get
this over with so I can leave. Looking and being around both of them is making
me murderously angry, and if I don't leave soon I feel inclined to do something
I’ll regret. All my anger and hate from the last five months has been building
up and is just about ready to explode.

“Of course, anything, please just forgive me Leighton. I
love you, sweetheart, I’ve missed you so much.” She attempts to put her arms
around me, but I pull away, downing my drink and placing the glass on the side.

“Please, don't mum. I can't forgive you, not yet. Maybe one
day I can, but right now I have too much hate towards both of you. I needed you
mum, I needed you so fucking much to help me from feeling so dead inside, make
me see the world isn’t so bad, but you failed me. I can't forgive that, I don't
know if I ever can. Just please give me the money so I can start a life with
my
son.” I explain to her, not even really looking at my father, unable to bear
the sight of his cheating face. It’s all just a mask with him, he is able to
cover his true self so easily.

“I’ll get your father to transfer it over later, son. I want
you to have the best life you can, and your little boy. You deserve the world
kid. Go and live it, take everything you can.” My mum tells me, her eyes
tearing and finally releasing a small drop. I can't help but think something is
wrong, her little goodbye a little too final for my liking.

“Mum, is everything ok?” I ask her, bending to look at her,
her skin white and wrinkled, her cheek bones far too prominent and her
collarbone poking out a little.

“Yes, everything is fine. I'm just glad I got to see you,
before...” she doesn’t finish her sentence, she begins coughing hard, the
rattle in her chest causing concern to me.

“Mum, mum. What’s wrong?” I ask her nervously, tapping her
back to help her clear her chest.

“Nothing, nothing Leighton. I'm fine. You get going son, but
please, look after yourself and your baby, treasure him like I should have
you.” I raise my eyebrow at my father over my mum’s back, as she remains bent
over trying to breathe.

“Don't fucking lie to the boy, Cassandra.” My father bites
out to my mother, sitting casually back in his chair, drinking his own drink,
smoking a cigar.

“No, not now.” She attempts to shout back. “Just go, kid, go
back to Antonio’s and be with Joseph. You will have your money later. There
will be enough to get yourself set up.”

“No, I’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is
going on.” I say frustrated to both my parents. “Now.” I shout.

“Go on Cass, tell him, he deserves to know.” My father
orders my mum.

“He doesn’t need to know, it’s none of his concern.” She
explains to my dad, talking as though I’m not here.

“Fine, I’ll tell him you stupid woman.” My father’s attitude
makes me livid and in need of seriously hurting him.

“Don't fucking talk to her like that, you piece of shit.” I
threaten my father.

“Your mother is dying, Leighton, a bit over due if you ask
me, but she doesn’t have long to live.” He smiles at me maliciously.

“No. No you cannot be. He’s lying. Please mum, please tell
me he is lying?” I beg her, falling to my knees in front of her. She collapses
with me, her knees hitting the carpet harshly.

“I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, Leighton.” She tells me,
dropping her head and lifting her hands to cry into them.

“No mum, please, you can't go, please I’m begging you.” I
begin to cry myself, wrapping my arms around her to hold her body. Only as her
tiny frame collapses into me do I realise how skinny she actually is, how much
weight she has lost. Her bones are easily visible through her paper like skin,
her skin cracked and bruised.

“Sorry.” She says again. I don't know why she is
apologising, she has done nothing wrong, not bad enough to deserve this anyway.

“Oh, stop fucking crying, there’s nothing you can do.” My
dad says from across the room, causing a growl to travel through me.

I stand from my mum, leaving her on the floor. I rush across
the room, pulling my father from his chair. I hold him by his scruff, getting
into his face. “I am leaving now, I am taking my mother with me, you come near
us, or her again, if I hear one word from you, then you are a fucking dead man.
I will come for you, I will tear ever limb from your fucking body leaving you
to bleed out like the fucking cowardly cunt you are.” I warn my father, forcing
my forehead into his nose, his body flopping into the chair. Blood gushes from
his broken nose, his body out cold and limp in the chair.

“Mum, please come with me, you can't stay here with him. I
need to care for you.” I beg her, lifting her weak frame from the floor, unable
to lift herself up. “Don't worry about the money, I’ll find a way but you can't
be here, I won't let you.”

“Okay.” She says, her sniffles sounding aloud as she
struggles to walk beside me. I take her out to my car, settling her into the 
seat before going indoors to pack her some things up to last a while.

I’m back at my car in five minutes, driving away from the
place we both had called home. There is no way my mother is dying here, with
the disgusting way my father is being.

It is all too real to accept, too hard to even comprehend.

Yet again, this cruel sickening world is taking another
person I love.

My mother, the person who has protected me always, is dying.

And I am the selfish cunt who had ignored her for the past
five months, my own stubborn arse not realising something was wrong. She has
just been too busy dealing with her health, and surviving living with my
father.

I am a selfish prick.